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The winds have changed their course.
Xiao notices this because the humming of the wind lessens. Because the playful wisps of the wind curling around his shoulders, tucking his hair behind his ear, suddenly disappear.
Xiao notices because the melodies coming from the land of freedom go silent. His burden increases tenfold, like Atlas suddenly let go of the weight of the world and it all fell on his shoulders. He clutches at his chest when his support system fails him, the gentle caress of wind dissipating into nothing.
The weight of his karma isn't something he's unfamiliar with, having experienced it every day for the most part of his newfound life after being rescued by Morax. Least I could do, he tells himself on the days the burden becomes particularly heavy, almost too heavy to bear. It's unlike any humane pain. The pain humans experience comes from within themselves, from the darkness of their own consciousness. It's curable, given enough time and care. However fragile humans may be, their worries and problems are just as fragile as they are. The burden of excess karma, though, has a mind of its own. The pain is unbearable to any simple human exposed to it, as it feeds off of their weak mental capacity. For Xiao, it's like a worm in an apple. It can't kill him at once, but it curls around him, ties him up and squeezes him until he can't breathe. Until he's gaping for air and clawing at his throat, begging no one and anyone for help. Slowly but surely, it eats through him, as alive beings don't simply dissipate; they only grow. There's no escaping from his fate, but he hopes he can shoulder his duties until his time comes.
Once, he almost didn't. That's when he unofficially met Venti.
His legs were too heavy for his mortal form. The stench of blood and battle filled his nostrils. With every breath he took, he downed karma. 'Keep the karma down, keep it together, keep it down' was what he was telling himself. 'And then what? Are you gonna go home? What home?' The voices in his head mocked him. 'You're simply running from a battlefield to another one. You're called the Conquerer of Demons by the mortals, but it seems that the demons have finally conquered you.'
'What if I let go?' He wondered as he dropped to his knees. 'I've already done so much, maybe this truly is my call to join them...'
'No! You shouldn't! You're the only one left! The burden of the karmic debt-'
He screams of agony. Of eons of pain and suffering built up. He screams until his throat goes raw and he lies on his back, full body in contact with the karma that yearns to dissolve him, the full moon right above his head hurting his eyes. He doesn't have much left, all that's remaining is a final sacrifice. He reaches one hand to the moon as his other slowly lets go of the spear that has been accompanying him almost as long as his karmic debt, the head of it shining like a halo. Xiao wonders if this could imply the destination of those suffering souls he frees from the bodies of the ex citizens of khaenri'ah. His outstretched hand wilts with the wind.
With wind, comes a melody from the distant lands. It soothes over him, carefully seals the wounds in his soul and curls around his form like a blanket, like an embrace, like a backrest. He loses himself to the melody, letting the wind do its magic. He weeps soundlessly on the bloodstained field, but this time its not all because of pain.
It's because for the first time in seventeen hundred years, the burden of his karmic debt has lessened.
From that day on, whenever he so much as wishes to hear that tune again, it comes. It's like the wind carries his wishes to the land of freedom loyally, like how it does with the delivery of the tunes to the suffering adeptus. Whenever he needs extra help in his battles, the wind seems to blow away and toy with the enemies, as if this is just another parttime to it. It never makes Xiao smile, though, definitely not.
Not until when he truly meets Venti.
It's after another notably tough battle of his that leaves him so tired that he can't even teleport back to the Wangshu Inn to rest. He sits there, back against a tree bark, his eyes slipping closed...
"Hi! I'm Venti! Do you need help getting back home?"
Xiao lets out the most embarrassing screech he's done all his life. The boy in front of him looks very young, about the same age as his mortal vessel. His eyes are turquoise, like the color of an ocean he can't ever begin to enjoy, the burden on his shoulders too great. A vision dangles from his belt, but no elemental energy comes from it; it's almost like his energy comes from within-
"Barbatos?" Xiao frowns. What does the god of Mond have to do with him, the vigilant yaksha of Liyue? Venti's smile also fades a bit. "Ah, was I that inconvincing?" 'Who sent you?', Xiao wonders. Venti scans his face. Xiao can't help but feel like he sees right through him. "No one, dear yaksha. It's just me." Xiao gives up, too tired to ponder upon the implications these words hold. The presence of the soothing wind on his frail form seems to have increased in the presence of Barbatos, and his eyes slowly slip shut.
The last thing he feels is the blessings of the wind on his form, the soothing melody that's his saving grace seemingly coming from all around him and the sound of flapping wings.
He wakes at the top of Wangshu Inn, an anemo marking fresh on the jewel of his forehead. It lulls him to sleep.
For the first time in a long time, he complies.
After that incident, the winds are more persistent, sometimes even accompanied by their god. Barbatos- Venti flies around Xiao whenever he's free from his own duties- which Xiao assumes aren't much, as he's officially left his people to protect themselves and stepped down from the position of being the ruler. He's refreshing in a way he's never seen a god be, changing course and shoving him around playfully much like his winds do. Xiao is starting to notice the spirit of the vision he's been given all those years ago. He's never given it much thought at the time of receiving it nor afterwards, only looking at it as another reminder of the burden on his shoulders. So did his fellow yakshas, which were lead to their own demise by their visions. But now, Venti makes it seem like less of a burden and more of a... blessing, he guesses. The former wind spirit tries to get anything out of Xiao, drinking on whatever he gives him enthusiastically, high off the joy. When he scoffs at the god, he smiles harder. When he turns his back, the god rides on the wind to come into his field of vision. When he questions the god on his intentions, he shushes him with a secretive smile. When he finally shoves Venti back playfully with a gust of anemo of his own -albeit a bit too strong, it throws Venti up ten feet into the sky- Venti's smile looks like it can melt ice with it's shine. He never notices when he stops calling the god 'Barbatos' and instead, 'Venti'.
When he pants mid battle, out of energy, the god's blessings hold him in place. When he weeps, the god leaves silent prints of love on his forehead and rocks them back and forth. Even when the god himself isn't there, his winds are ever present around him. The melody of his flute and lyre always carries over to the land of geo, Xiao always pausing to hear it.
Never had Xiao felt so loved in his entire lifetime. So blessed, so grateful.
So in love.
So of course, he realizes when the winds around him suddenly stop. The ever present melody coming from the city of wine and song stops. His karma returns tenfold.
He can't feel Venti in the air.
Venti was a lot of his first times. The first time he felt truly loved, the first time someone put so much time aside for him, the first time he felt the slightest bit of hope. This is another one of those firsts.
For the first time in the past two thousand years, Xiao leaves Liyue to fend for it's own. For the first time, he goes to Mondstadt.
The winds are still present, however very faint. Barely there wisps of wind curl around his hands and his back. They're meaningless, lacking the spirit they used to have before. Never had he ran so fast. The thoughts of losing a fifth one fills his mind. His fifth companion, gone forever. He sprints faster, not knowing where to look.
Then, suddenly the winds seem to lead him somewhere. The invisible hands around his figure aren't meaningless anymore. He follows them to his last hope. Mondstadt really does seem as beautiful as Venti tells him in all those ballads of his own, the waters the same shade as their archon's eyes, the shade Venti has taught him to enjoy. The trees almost look fake with all those wonderful jade colors, the same color as their archon's clothes, representing his love for his nation. The same love that led him to free his people from the reign of the cruel gods of the past, leaving them to their own devices, all in the name of freedom. The winds lead him to the symbol of Mondstadt's hero, he faintly recognizes from the stories Venti has told him. A giant tree stretching its branches out everywhere, looking as alive as always. Venti's own statue stands tall and unwavering under the tree. He approaches it, afraid of what would happen if he touches it. He reaches out-
Xiao
He whips his head up like he's never done before. His eyes frantically search the tree for something, anything.
His eyes meet turquoise ones. His breath hitches.
The god of freedom descends from the tree on a gust of wind. He looks visibly in pain. The wind under his form gives up halfway through and this time, Xiao scrambles to catch him midair; one hand behind Venti's knees and one hand holding him securely to his chest, keeping them both afloat on nothing but pure anemo. Venti's breathing's fainter than usual, the humming inside his chest nonexistent. He still radiates anemo powers, but his gnosis is missing, Xiao realizes with fear. Venti's eyes are half lidded, struggling to look at Xiao. He still smiles like he does at him all the time. "Did you come for me, my dear yaksha?" Venti teases playfully. Xiao's chest fills with love. "The winds changed their course. I couldn't hear you." He admits. Venti's eyes darken, the emotion in them looking like something akin to guilt. "I let her take my gnosis. I didn't want to make you worry for nothing." The Tsaritsa, Xiao realizes. His eyes widen. Venti raises a hand to Xiao's cheek, cupping and caressing it. "Don't worry, the effects are temporary. I'm just... really tired from having a mortal shove her hand in my chest." Xiao frowns even harder and Venti chuckles. "I'll be fine, beloved."
Beloved. Venti said beloved. He called him beloved. The effects of his karma has decreased once again, he notices, his heart skipping a beat. Before Xiao knows it, he's loweing his head, resting his forehead against Venti's. "Venti, I-" he stops himself halfway through. Venti looks at him reassuringly, his hand still having not retreated from Xiao's cheek. I'm so grateful I met you. I'm so glad you're alive. I love you. Xiao thinks. Venti's smile widens. "I love you too, Mein Liebling."
Xiao smiles far and wide for the first time ever since they've met. Venti drags Xiao down with the hand on his cheek, Xiao complying with no resistance whatsoever. The distance between them closes, their lips touching in peace and serenity, putting an end to an urge having been suppressed for the last couple hundreds of years. It feels like a breath of fresh air. It feels like freedom. It feels like love.
It feels like love.