Work Text:
Ignorant people were some Mary had heavily mixed feelings on. In some cases, they were simply too innocent or oblivious to the situation or knowingly ignorant to avoid responsibility and trouble.
Quite a hypocrite she is, really.
Mary sat in her dorm room as she lightly stroked the petals of some flowers Katarina and Alan got her for her birthday. A lovely arrangement of violets and daisies. She knew what they meant, no doubt the two did some small research and picked these flowers out specifically for her.
She has yet to figure out what to do when the time comes really. It was inevitable that if she were to confess her feelings to Katarina, it would break Alan's heart. She was well aware of his feelings for Katarina and she's been trying to steer it away for as long as possible. Prince Geordo even helped her at points. She knows doing the same manipulation as other nobles was quite hypocritical of her among other things. But it seemed like the only way to keep her place in the race.
Geordo might not have managed to convince Katarina into marriage yet, but he will run out of patience one day, she's sure of that. As for Alan…
Mary hummed a bit as she poked at a violet. If Alan were to confess his love for Katarina, if he were to start pursuing her like the others did. There's no doubt he'd win her heart. She knows the two are close, everyone knows that.
The atmosphere and bond Alan and Katarina share together is just like a warm aura. It's cozy, homey… comforting. She doesn't know how else to describe it. She's not the only one who sees it either. Everyone in their circle knows of the comforting bond Alan and Katarina share. She can’t help but recall the times she’s seen one or more of those in their circle, herself included, fall asleep under a tree with Katarina and Alan by their sides. It’s peaceful with them there.
Alan and Katarina just seemed so natural with each other. They're comfortable and kind with each other. If either of them decided to take a step further, then it's sealed.
Back then it seemed like a simple trick, that it wouldn't do much, but as time went on… it made the decision much harder to carry. Like a lie being kept up for so long, only disaster awaits if it gets revealed. Alan always made it clear he disliked manipulators, disliked the common method of persuasion among the nobility. If he were to find out what deeper things she and Geordo got up to… if he found out what she's been doing all this time…
Mary pulled her hand back for a moment.
She cared for Alan, she always has. At least she always hoped she had. But looking back time and time again, what will happen? When Alan came to speak to her, regarding him finally realizing his feelings for Katarina, she didn't know exactly what to expect and simply played along the best she could until she could fully process it. The idea of them keeping the engagement going long enough so they could confess to their desired partner seems simple enough. Alan wouldn't break the engagement until she was ready to.
But they loved the same girl. If Mary were to confess her love for Katarina, Alan might not have anyone to turn to. She had always been skeptical of nobility, the same goes for Geordo. They acted as prim and proper as they could because it was the best way to avoid the annoyance of fake nobles that pranced around them. Alan though, for as smart as he is, isn't too privy to what she and Geordo do, nor does he do anything of the kind himself.
It wasn't like she was concerned about him being manipulated. Not really, Alan's more perceptive than people give him credit for. However… she doesn't know if he will find someone else if Katarina returns her feelings. As a prince, he's still expected to get married, and if he ends up being the only prince without a fiance… then that will attract a different kind of attention that isn't flattering.
Not to mention… it feels like fully obtaining one means to lose the other.
Mary rested her chin on her arms as she continued to lazily play and stroke the petals of the flowers.
If she confessed to Katarina, then Alan knows his love is taken. As competitive as he is… she's not sure how he will take it. There's a chance things could go on like normal, or… not. This possibly scared her really.
After she confesses, would that change anything?
Despite her attempts, the thoughts wormed their way into her head. If she confessed her feelings, would Alan dislike her? Admittedly, she doesn’t think much about Alan as she should, at least how much he does for her. It’s strange how scared she was of that possible outcome. Though…
Perhaps it was just the fear of seeing him heartbroken when she steals Katarina away. The fear of hurting him badly just because of this. As much as she'd like to sweep Alan away with her and Katarina to that island her relatives have, she's not sure if he'd be up for it.
Even that plan… It meant leaving Alan behind. She had been fine with it before but now, it still feels like she's losing what she enjoys so much right now. She wouldn't be able to hold the status quo she's enjoyed for so many years.
She couldn't keep them both close if she wished to pursue Katarina further.
Mary stopped for a moment as she heard a knock on her door. She gently moved the vase so it wasn't in direct sunlight for too long before moving to the door.
"Hello Mary!" Katarina said with a bright smile, Alan was next to her as well.
"What brings you two here?" Mary asked, startled a little bit. She wasn't aware they'd be seeing her today.
"Prince Alan ran into me while we were out at the town, and there's a pretty nice flower booth set up near the entrance." Katarina said.
"Since you like your flowers, we thought you'd like to check it out. Katarina's looking for some seeds anyway." Alan said, "and I don't have any plans, so I will accompany you both."
Mary smiled a bit, only for the two to look at her concerned.
"Mary? Are you okay?" Katarina asked, pulling out a handkerchief. "Why are you crying?"
"O-oh? I was crying?" Mary asked as she shook her head. "Must be some allergies. I'm fine."
"You sure?" Alan asked.
"Yes, yes. I'm sure." Mary said, smiling brighter. "Let's not be late. I have no doubt the rare flowers will be sold out."
"Okay, okay." Alan said as Mary grabbed her bag.
She left her dorm room and joined Katarina and Alan as they walked down the hall.
There was always a saying that ignorance was bliss after all.
Mary held onto them both as they traveled.
Perhaps… perhaps she can play ignorant just a bit longer… just a bit longer so she can figure out what to do.