Archive of Our Own

Serim’s descent to insanity tastes as sweet as the tangerines his grandma would give him when he was a child.

Not those tangerines which you’d buy from the supermarket, the ones where you had no idea if they came from where they claim to have come from, no. Serim is talking about the tangerines his grandma would grow in her greenhouse, throughout the year, no matter the season or the weather. Those tangerines always tasted the sweetest, perhaps because they were a product of hard work.

The only thing about his grandma that he misses are the sweet tangerines she’d grow in her greenhouse throughout the year.

The tangerines they would give him here, those tasted like a cheap knock-off version of the ones he was used to. Everything here looked like a cheap knock-off version of what he was used to.

The mental asylum was built in a way which mimicked what the outside would have looked like. There were paintings hung up on the walls to give it a more “homey” vibe, the walls themselves were painted a soft beige instead of the usual hospital white most mental asylums would leave them as, there was music playing from a stereo no matter where you went because the caregivers claimed that it calmed the patients down, they’d place potted plants at every corner and windowsill to make the space appear more friendly and welcoming.

The people that would take care of him would wear the fakest smiles possible known to mankind. At least that’s what it looked like to Serim. He thought that all of them were the same as his grandma, friendly on the outside and cruel on the inside. His grandma always had so much fun when she’d compliment him in front of others only to push him down like a deck of cards when they were locked behind closed doors, away from wandering eyes.

His grandma had a lot of fun reminding him that the only thing he was useful for was being a punching bag for others.

Serim wonders just when it started being like this when the punches and the insults and the being built up only to be pushed back down started. When did his grandma start exploiting his trust and his affection? When did she realise that despite being the only person Serim had left that didn’t mean that he liked her and that she had to actually give him a reason to not like her other than him putting misplaced hate on her?

Those are questions that Serim wants to have the answers to, but he can’t, not when he’s currently hours away from his grandma and definitely not when he’s locked in a mental asylum.

Even so, the only thing that Serim misses about that woman is the sweet tangerines she’d give him. He hopes he never gets to see her again after all.

His days will keep on counting down inside this mental asylum, eventually, he’ll forget all about his grandma just as he’s sure she already has forgotten about him, he won’t get to see the sunlight again, at least not whilst being free outside of the asylum’s walls or the tall fences they have around the backyard garden. He’ll grow old in here, he’ll age and then one day he’ll die like the pathetic, nonsensical idiot he is, surrounded by nothing but the walls that trap him inside his own mind.

That’s what will happen, that’s how it’s gonna end for him, Serim just knows it.

There’s no point in keeping pleasantries with anyone, it’s not like anyone else inside this hellhole even cares for him and Serim can’t lie and say that he cares for any of them anyways. He’s always been shy as a child, he’s always been more introverted as a teenager, and he’s always been withdrawn as an adult. He could count how many friends he has on one hand only.

It was sad to admit that this is how it was going to be for him from now on. Wake up, eat, take a walk around the asylum, join the others in the entertainment room to pass some time, eat again, sit down with the others for the little book reading sessions they’d have, take a walk through the garden, eat again, sleep and then repeat.

It just wouldn’t make any sense if he tried to give a bigger meaning to his days, his days are being numbered anyways. Everyone’s days in this damn building were numbered, even the caregivers’.

Serim’s curtains aren’t thick enough to completely block out the sun, they’re only there for decoration, simply to make his room seem more lived in, more normal. The sunlight passes through the small rips in the curtains and they fall across his face. They would have roused him from sleep if he had been sleeping, but he hadn’t. Serim hasn’t had a quiet night’s rest ever since he came to the asylum.

He doesn’t have a clock in his room. Nobody has clocks in their rooms here. The patients always have to wait until a caregiver comes and collects them and then guides them to the cafeteria for their breakfast. Serim’s door is locked from the outside so there is no reason for him to get up and try to go out by himself.

He’s locked inside this room just like he’s locked inside his head.

So Serim can do nothing more but wait now. The sunlight hits him in the face from where it’s peeking through the curtains and his eyes are starting to dry and sting because he stubbornly refuses to blink but the ceiling looks interesting enough. Serim has taken to counting the peculiar swirls that the ceiling has on it, he has taken to counting how many places of the ceiling have paint that’s being chipped away, and how many cracks can he count on the wall and the corners of his room.
All of that is far too interesting for him to risk losing if he closes his eyes.

He almost doesn’t hear the knock against his door, far too immersed in his world, but when the person from the other side knocks again, Serim makes sure to snap out of his daydreaming and call out a soft, “Come in.”

It’s a humorous thing to say because Serim’s door is locked anyway and it’s not like he’s the one inviting others in. Whoever is on the other side of the door has the key to his room and so Serim telling them that they can come in just doesn’t make sense because well… Serim doesn’t hold the cards here, does he? He’s not the one in control here, is he?

The door doesn’t even make a sound as it’s unlocked and then opened, Serim doesn’t even turn to look in the direction of it. He’s sure that they’ve sent someone new for him since he doesn’t pose as much of a threat as some of the other patients in here and he’s also a pretty docile patient, a newbie wouldn’t have a problem dealing with him.

“Serim-ah?”

That’s unusual though, most of the caregivers refer to him as “Serim-ssi”, not something as casual and friendly as “Serim-ah”.

Serim turns his head to blankly stare at his newly assigned caretaker. It’s a man and he seems to be around Serim’s age. He’s definitely new in general just as Serim had predicted because he doesn’t think he’s ever seen him around before. The guy looks at Serim though as if he’s looking at a ghost, does Serim truly look that bad? It might be the shitty lighting of the mental asylum.

“I’m sorry but..” His voice is scratchy from the lack of constant use and Serim knows that he’s in need of a nice, refreshing glass of water but he pushes past the discomfort in his throat and keeps talking, “Do I know you?”

The new guy looks as if he’s been hit by a baseball bat which doesn’t really make any sense to Serim but they must know each other if this is his reaction. Serim can’t remember him though, can’t remember his name or his age or what type of relationship they have. Serim can’t remember a lot these days.

The only thing he seems to remember vividly these days is his grandma and her sweet tangerines.

He sits up slowly on the old mattress of his bed, swinging his feet over the side of it and carefully lowering the sleeve of his pristine white, cotton pyjama shirt over the soulmark on his right wrist.

The newcomer is still looking at him strangely. Serim is starting to get tired of it.

“Excuse me, I asked you a question.”

“Oh!-” The guy startles a bit, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He soundly closes the door of Serim’s room behind him as he starts stepping closer. “Um, I’m Yeonjun. We used to hang out together in your old neighbourhood? Before you and your grandma moved?”

That sure does bring back memories. Whether they’re good or bad ones still remains unclear in Serim’s foggy brain.

“Ah, yes,” He replies as if he actually remembers. He doesn’t but it’s kind of interesting to see the way Yeonjun’s face relaxes at the thought of him remembering. It makes the other man look pathetic and that alone in Serim’s mind is enough reason for him to put on a mask and pretend. “Nice to see you again.”

It’s easy to pretend in the first place but Yeonjun just makes it easier with his smile and the blind trust he already has in his eyes.

“It’s nice to see you again as well, Serim-ah. I wish it was under better circumstances though.”

Serim does nothing more but hum and watch as Yeonjun approaches the tray Serim hadn’t even noticed he had brought along with him. There are things that he’s used to seeing on the tray. Some needles and a couple of pills, a glass of water that he eyes with fervour and some small snacks mostly consisting of energy bars.

Yeonjun grabs one of the bottles filled with pills, preparing all the things he’ll need and Serim just watches him silently. The more he stares, the more he can remember.

By the time that Yeonjun turns to face him again, encouraging him to slightly open his mouth and quietly handing him over two pills of god-knows-what from the bottle in his hand, Serim has already concluded that there’s something about Yeonjun that he doesn’t like. He’s not sure what it is yet, the man seems friendly enough but something about him just rubs Serim in the wrong way.

He almost looks too friendly, as if he’s wearing a mask just like Serim is.

It honestly wouldn’t surprise Serim at all if Yeonjun’s kindness was a facade. Most of the people in this shithole have a facade anyways.

“Serim-ah?”

He realizes that he spaced out quite a bit when his eyes start gaining focus and he blinks to see Yeonjun staring at him in question. “Ah,” Serim vocalizes quietly, looking down at the pills in his hands and then glancing up to the glass of water in Yeonjun’s outstretched hand, “Sorry, I just.. I have a lot on my mind these days.”

“Anything you want to share or discuss with someone?” Yeonjun asks. Serim doesn’t know if he’s being nosy or if he’s genuinely asking out of concern.

He hasn’t even been five minutes in the same room with Yeonjun yet but he’s got a lot of questions about the man already.

“Ah, it’s fine,” Serim tries to smile but he’s not sure if it’s more of a grimace than a smile. He looks back down at the pills in his hand. Serim can feel Yeonjun’s stare burning through him. He knows that he’s supposed to swallow them down now along with the water but.. but Serim knows what these pills do to him. He might not know what they are exactly but he knows what they do to him and he doesn’t enjoy it that much.

“Is there a problem?”

“Nope,” Serim shakes his head lightly. There is a problem, he doesn’t want to swallow these goddamn pills but he can’t do anything about it, not yet at least. So he wears his big boy pants, rolls his shoulders back, tilts his head and puts the pills on his tongue, quickly reaching for the glass of water in Yeonjun’s hand, gulping it down like a man that’s been denied water for days.

It’s gonna take a while for the effects of the pills to take place, Serim knows this already from all the other times he’s had to swallow them down. Each morning to be exact, each morning for the past ninety-one days he’s been in the asylum. Three months. Three months of taking these pills.

Yeonjun smiles at him when he looks up at the other man again. Serim is starting to think more and more that his smile looks like a shark’s. A shark that is circling its prey.

It’s funny how he thinks that he’s the predator between the two of them. But Serim keeps that thought to himself and doesn’t dare open his mouth.

“Shall we go?”

Go. Go out, go away from here, go back to that neighbourhood where Serim can remember Yeonjun pushing him down on the ground, go back to that kindergarten where Serim can remember Yeonjun making nasty rumours about his parents, go—

Go to the asylum’s cafeteria for breakfast.

“Yes,” Serim nods. He smiles. It’s a more genuine smile than the last. Yeonjun thinks he’s got the upper hand and Serim is gonna have his fun with it. He’s gonna ruin him. “Yes, we can go.”

There aren’t many patients in the cafeteria this morning. Serim is almost sure that the cause of that is the loud commotion that someone had created last night in the corridor that leads to the entertainment room. He knows that a lot of others joined in on the argument that took place between that first original patient and one of the caregivers. He knows that they were faced with the consequences of “acting up” but he can’t say that he particularly cares.

Some people just had to learn the hard way about when to keep their mouths shut and their heads low.

Serim is thankful that he had learned about it before coming to the mental asylum, it saved him time, it was one less thing that he had to get used to inside this new hell he’d be living in.

His eyes move around the cafeteria as he places food of whatever his hand reaches towards on his food tray. Serim can feel Yeonjun’s presence close to his side but he pays him no mind, he knows that the man will have to follow him around all day as is protocol. To follow him around and make sure that Serim plays nice with everyone. Plain bullshit if you asked Serim what he thought about it but he also wasn’t really paying attention to Yeonjun at the moment.

His eyes dart from one spot to the other, trying to see if his favourite caregiver is around. Serim’s shoulders deflate a bit when he doesn’t catch sight of soft, brown hair and round cheeks with kind eyes.

“Who are you looking for?” Yeonjun asks because of course he does, he’s not only here to supervise Serim today, but he’s also here to get on his nerves.

“There’s this caregiver I like..” Serim pauses when he sees the way Yeonjun’s brows furrow, “Not like that.” He’s quick to clarify, watching as Yeonjun’s face smooths out as if he hadn’t meant to give away any of his true feelings. “He’s.. kind and always has funny and smart things to say. I don’t know..” Serim takes a short breath, not liking even one bit Yeonjun looking at him with that expression on his face. “I don’t know. I just feel like he genuinely means well.”

“You think the rest of us don’t?” Yeonjun presses. Serim purses his lips, turns to look at him with hard eyes and he hopes that’s answer enough without him actually verbally responding.

“Hm.” Is the sound that Yeonjun makes. Serim doesn’t know what exactly that sound means but he’s certain that it wasn’t something entirely positive. He takes a slow breath as he watches Yeonjun look around the cafeteria.

“What does this caregiver look like?”

“Like a bear.” Is Serim’s immediate response. He doesn’t have a reason as to why he thinks that way of the specific caregiver.. the one that gives Serim tangerines and smiles softly at him but.. yeah, Serim thinks the caregiver looks like a bear.

“Like a bear.” Yeonjun repeats his words slowly. Serim hates the blank look on his face, it further confirms his suspicions that Yeonjun wears a mask. He must look like a fool to the caregiver, a sick-in-the-head patient that associates people with animals but Serim can’t help it, he’s never asked the name of the caregiver that looks like a bear and even if it had been mentioned when he was around, Serim wouldn’t know, he wouldn’t remember because these fucking pills they give him every morning make his head foggy and his eyes heavy as the day progresses and then he drags his feet to his bed each night and falls asleep as if he’s dead.

Maybe they want him dead. Maybe that’s the plan, they drug him enough until one night Serim goes to sleep and he’s not able to wake back up. Maybe it’s all a part of their plan.

“Yes.” Serim’s words are sharp. He softens his voice on purpose when he continues because he sees the way Yeonjun’s eyes shift at his tone, his hand slowly reaching for the taser Serim knows he has strapped to the inside of his shirt, hidden from view and technically a secret from the patients but Serim knows all about it.

The caregiver that looks like a bear didn’t only offer kind words to Serim but also secrets.

“Yes, he looks like a bear,” Serim continues softly.

Yeonjun’s lips are pursed a bit but his eyes also lose the edge they had. He sighs and looks around the almost empty cafeteria. The breath he lets out almost sounds like a whistle when he speaks, “Well many of the patients are in isolation right now—” Isolation, the one place that Serim has never been to, “I’m sure that most of the more experienced caregivers are there with them to look after them—” Look after them, an exaggeration, “The caregiver you’re talking about must also be there.”

Serim blinks as Yeonjun turns to look at him. He doesn’t want to admit it but Yeonjun might be right after all.

"Mhhmm,” Serim hums unwillingly, his hands tightening on his food tray and then a moment later he starts walking slowly towards one of the smaller tables in the cafeteria. He can hear Yeonjun following behind him, the sound of his footsteps just as unhurried.

There’s a difference though. Serim is walking slowly because the effects of the pills are starting to take place. Yeonjun is walking slowly because he knows that he’s the one with the upper hand here, he has nothing to worry or stress about.

Serim’s dislike for him grows even more than possible.

He doesn’t offer any more words to Yeonjun’s observation and he can tell that it irks the other man just slightly but he also doesn’t say a word. Serim thinks it’s because he doesn’t want to give anything away about his true personality. But he also doesn’t press to find out more, just silently eyes Yeonjun when he sits down and the other man sits down across from him, disinterestedly looking around.

He doesn’t look like he wants to be here at least and Serim wonders just why he’s here exactly when someone slips into the seat next to him and startles him out of his thoughts.

Serim blinks at the sight of bright orange hair. It reminds him of a tangerine. His hand subconsciously slips down the right sleeve of his pyjama shirt.

“Hi,” the new person’s voice is high but not unpleasantly so, he sounds sure of himself when he speaks, “Hope I’m not intruding.” And he.. looks dangerous as he glances between him and Yeonjun. His eyes stop and linger on Serim. Serim has no idea what to think about it.

Another body lowers itself across from the newcomer and Serim watches with sharp eyes at the accompanying caregiver. The caregiver also notices him looking and then they smile brightly when they catch his eyes.

“Serim-ah,” They say joyfully. Serim knows it’s fake. “Been a long time since I’ve seen you, kiddo.”

“Jeonghan.” Serim responds without an ounce of emotion in his voice. “It hasn’t been long enough, ahjussi."

“Aigoo, this kid, I swear—” Jeonghan laughs, his blonde hair falling in his face when he tilts his head forwards. Serim doesn’t like him if that hasn’t been made clear yet.

“You call everyone a kid,” The new person by Serim’s side cuts in, Serim turns his head a bit to the side to look at him watch Jeonghan, “I bet you aren’t even that much older than us.”

Jeonghan sighs, turning his head to look at Yeonjun. Yeonjun hasn’t taken his eyes off of the blonde man even for a second since he sat down at their table. Serim’s eyes narrow and he watches them closely.

“Can you believe this kid? Has no respect for how to speak to his elders.”

Yeonjun giggles slightly. Serim’s eyes narrow even more. “I’m sure they’ll learn one day. They’ve been through enough so far, give them a break, sunbae.”

Serim doesn’t know a lot about Jeonghan, he doesn’t want to learn more than he already knows about the obnoxious bastard that’s sitting across from him but.. but the caregiver that looks like a bear is always hanging around Jeonghan, always looks at him with a smile and eyes that shine with admiration and adoration. The caregiver that looks like a bear always talks to Jeonghan with a soft tone, a tone that Serim also hears directed at him, yes, but not nearly as fondly as it’s directed towards Jeonghan.

Serim eyes the lack of distance between Yeonjun and Jeonghan and then his lips purse, his mouth tightens and he promptly looks down at his food tray. He doesn’t want to get in the middle of it, of whatever this is but then his mind wanders to the caregiver that looks at him with such softness and his heart clenches painfully.

His eyes lift up to glance at Jeonghan through his bangs, watching the way his hand lightly brushes against Yeonjun’s arm as they talk. His mind goes back to the other caregiver that has been nothing but genuinely nice to him. It’s always the good ones that are stuck with the bad people.

There’s a nudge that Serim feels against his side and makes him snap his attention to the person sitting next to him.

“Hi,” The boy with the bright orange hair says again. He blinks softly as he looks at Serim.

Serim slowly blinks back, “Hello.”

“I’m Hyeongjun.”

“Serim.” He watches this... Hyeongjun closely, watches the way his cheeks push up and turn his eyes into small crescent moons when he smiles at Serim. He.. he looks like a puppy maybe. Or a fox, The voice in Serim’s head whispers quietly.

“Do you mind if we switch our juice boxes?”

Serim blinks again, this time in surprise as he looks down at his juice box. Apple flavoured. Then his eyes flicker and he looks at Hyeongjun’s juice box. Peach flavoured.

Serim doesn’t like peaches.

“I—” He starts, ready to apologize because he can’t do what Hyeongjun asked but when he looks back up Hyeongjun is already looking at him. The expression on his face makes Serim pause. Hyeongjun doesn’t exactly look bothered or irritated but.. he also doesn’t look as calm and friendly anymore.

Serim doesn’t know what to make of it. Doesn’t know what to make of him. Not yet at least.

And he doesn’t know why he ends up agreeing to switch juice boxes with Hyeongjun even though he wants to throw up the peach juice he ends up sipping on. Somehow it’s fine, somehow it’s worth it when he turns his head and watches Hyeongjun happily sip on his newly-attained apple juice.

He doesn’t know what to make of it. Not yet at least.

He and Hyeongjun end up getting closer somehow, in some way. Serim is confused about it but he doesn’t utter a word either way. He’s not sure he’s even allowed to. He keeps finding out more and more about Hyeongjun the more time they end up spending together.

Hyeongjun turns out to be quite patient but once you manage to piss him off, he turns into a nightmare. Serim thought he’d be okay with watching him snap at Jeonghan but he’s clearly proven wrong when he watches the man with the bright orange hair lunge at the older man, his hands wrapping around his neck and squeezing, squeezing, squeezing—

“Oh my god, Hyeongjun get away from him!” Serim is shoved aside by Yeonjun as he rushes forwards to stop Hyeongjun. Serim watches as more caregivers close in around Hyeongjun, watches as they detain him, as they cuff his hands, watches as Yeonjun roughly shoves him away to the other caregivers and then immediately lowers himself down to Jeonghan’s level to help him as the older man coughs and grasps at his neck. Serim watches. He doesn’t even remember the mocking words Jeonghan had spoken to him before Hyeongjun snapped. He can’t do anything other than watch, frozen in place, as Hyeongjun is led somewhere away, most likely to isolation.

The man with bright orange hair looks over his shoulder at Serim and smiles. Serim feels a chill run down his spine.

He truly has no fucking idea what to make of it.

They don’t speak of the incident when Hyeongjun gets released from isolation, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen and that much is very apparent to both of them. Serim feels like he’s walking on eggshells around Hyeongjun for the first few days after he’s out again. Things go back to normal quickly enough though, or well, as normal as things can be in a mental asylum.

Hyeongjun and Serim keep sitting at the same table, Yeonjun across from them but Hyeongjun is assigned a new caregiver and Serim starts seeing Jeonghan less and less as the older man smartly goes out of his way to avoid Hyeongjun.

Yeonjun won’t stop glaring at the younger man that’s sitting by Serim’s side. Serim wants to punch Yeonjun in the face.

Hyeongjun nudges him gently, smiling softly when Serim turns to look at him. From the corner of his eye, Serim can see Yeonjun’s attention being pulled away by another caregiver. Not that he’s focusing on Yeonjun. No, his focus is all on Hyeongjun and his smile.

“If anyone ever bothers you, tell me, yeah?”

Serim almost wants to refuse. There’s something in Hyeongjun’s eyes that he doesn’t know if he can trust but… Hyeongjun is his friend, isn’t he? He only wants the best for Serim. Serim knows this and yet… he’s not sure of Hyeongjun’s intentions.

Still, he agrees to it. Because it’s Hyeongjun. For some reason, he’d agree with anything Hyeongjun says or asks of him.

“Yeah,” Serim says, his tongue feeling like dead weight in his mouth. “Yeah, I will.”

Hyeongjun’s smile is pretty, so pretty that Serim almost loses track of his thoughts but then he grounds himself and looks back down at his food tray.

Serim feels himself take a breath when Hyeongjun hums softly to himself. There’s a thought that’s been running in circles in Serim’s mind for the past few days. Now more than ever this thought comes back to haunt him.

He never did ask Hyeongjun why he was in the mental asylum, did he?

It’s visitation day. There’s been a buzz of chatter between the patients for some days now, the days leading up to the visitation day. Serim wouldn’t be able to forget about it even if he wanted to.

He knows his grandma won’t be visiting him but he wasn’t waiting for her anyways.

He lingers by Hyeongjun’s side when they arrive at the visitation room, which is just a big room filled with tables and chairs surrounding them. The number of chairs around each table depends on the organization the caregivers have done. Serim eyes his usual table and the two chairs that are positioned opposite of each other. He rocks a bit on the balls of his feet.

“I’ll see you later?” Serim turns to Hyeongjun who’s already been silently watching him. Serim tries and fails to not blush under the younger’s eyes. Hyeongjun smiles, pleased.

“Yeah,” Hyeongjun says, his eyes sharp as he holds eye contact. “You will.”

Serim just nods wordlessly, his eyes following Hyeongjun as he walks towards a table with three chairs around it, two of which are already occupied by two other men. Serim watches and observes for a second, the way they seem to be leaning against each other and speaking in hushed voices before they perk up at the arrival of Hyeongjun at their table. They can’t be much older than Hyeongjun, Serim kind of has the idea that they might be younger than himself. He scolds himself lightly when he realizes that he’s still looking, shaking his head softly and then making his way to his own table.

Serim plays with his fingers when he’s sat down. The question, “Will they come to see me? Will they not?” keeps running around in his head. He takes a deep breath, his left hand fiddling with the right sleeve of his pyjama shirt. Now that he thinks about it, he’s always found it kind of weird how they keep them in their pyjamas, well… not really pyjamas? They’re comfy enough to work as casual, everyday clothes but Serim also goes to sleep in them so he doesn’t quite know what to call them.

“Serim-hyung!” His head snaps up at the call of his name. Serim just barely manages to stand up and open his arms for the person who called out to him before that person throws their body at him and hugs him tight.

“Seongmin-ah,” Serim says warmly and he feels how the younger man in his arms nuzzles his face against his shoulder. “It’s so good to see you again.” He means it. This time, to Seongmin, he genuinely means it.

The younger man sways them a bit side to side and Serim goes along with his wishes, squeezing his arms tightly around him, feeling how Seongmin does the same with the arms he’s got wrapped around his neck. This is what comfort feels like to Serim.

“I missed you so much hyung, you’ve got no idea,” Seongmin murmurs against his shoulder and Serim just now registers that the younger man sounds tired, feels heavy and languid in his arms.

“Let’s sit down, yeah, Seongminnie?”

A hum not followed by any words. They don’t need words between them. Never had, most likely never will. Serim sits down again, this time with Seongmin settling in the seat across from him and then they stare at each other, they smile softly at one another, their hands meeting in the middle of the table. Seongmin’s hands aren’t much smaller than his.

Serim can remember days of the past. He can remember Seongmin circling around his past neighbourhood, always moving around with his bicycle. He can remember the sweetness of Seongmin’s smile back then, the sweet cherry taste of his lips and his kisses.. his very gentle kisses. Serim can remember big eyes blinking prettily up at him, eyes that were framed by the same black-coloured strands of hair as they are now when they blink at him from across the table. Serim can remember a lot of things about Seongmin and their past and how soft the younger man had been as he melted into his arms.

But then Serim can also remember moving away because of his grandma’s wishes, he remembers staying in touch with Seongmin through texting and then he remembers when Seongmin told him one day as they were on a call about how he had met his soulmate, about how he had told him about the person that shared the same piano key notes on the left side of their ribs.

Serim blinks as he stares at Seongmin now, the one that’s sat across from him at a table in a visitation room, in a mental asylum which Serim is closed in because he’s mentally unstable. He stares and he wonders to himself if Seongmin is also thinking of the past, if he’s regretting everything that he’s ever done with Serim, if he pities him.

Seongmin’s eyes are fond though when he looks at Serim now. Serim knows that it’s wrong to think that his friend has that kind of opinion about him, so he pushes away the thoughts of Seongmin pitying him. The younger man has never been one to shy away from confrontation and he’s never been one to hide his feelings so if he truly felt anything like that for Serim, he’d say it.

“I missed you too,” Serim says at last. He means it. This time, again, he genuinely means it. “How have you been, Seongmin-ah?”

“I’ve been keeping busy,” Seongmin replies, his eyes running over Serim’s face. Serim feels transparent under his gaze and that small voice in his head pipes in to remind him, exactly how you feel when Hyeongjun looks at you too. Serim pushes the voice away and focuses on Seongmin. “People are getting more interested in theatre plays these days. Jaehwan-hyung and I have been getting booked left and right these past few weeks. I haven’t really..” He pauses, letting his eyes trail down to the wood of the table between them, “I haven’t really been sleeping all that much, I guess.”

“Didn’t Jaehwan-ssi remind you to rest well?” Serim asks. Jaehwan, Seongmin’s soulmate, has always been a sensitive topic to talk about between the two of them. Seongmin thinks it’s like that for the wrong reasons though, he thinks that Serim hasn’t had the time to warm up to Jaehwan yet and such, keeps reassuring him that he’ll like him if they got to talk more.

Serim lets him think that way and tells a hidden part of himself to be quiet and don’t speak. He refuses to tell Seongmin that he’d never get along with anyone who’ll ever want to keep him to themselves. Jaehwan wants to keep Seongmin to himself, he’s selfish and cruel and he keeps glaring at Serim when he so much as dares to lean a bit closer to Seongmin while they’re speaking.

Serim doesn’t like it and he doesn’t like him. He never will.

He looks at Seongmin now, sees the way he smiles at the mention of his soulmate even though Serim’s tone hadn’t been exactly the friendliest.

It’s always the most important people in Serim’s life that get caught up with the wrong types of people.

Fate is a cruel bitch for giving Seongmin a soulmate like Jaehwan, but Serim can’t do anything about it, so he chooses to watch instead, always on the sidelines for when Seongmin might need him to step in.

“He’s also quite busy, hyung. Don’t be angry at him, please.”

Seongmin’s request is simple enough for anyone who isn’t Serim and even though Serim wants to bite back, wants to say something along the lines of, ”He doesn’t know how to share you with others, I’ll always be angry at him.” he keeps his mouth shut and wordlessly nods his head.

His response makes Seongmin happy. Serim sees how he smiles at him now and decides that he’d do anything to make him smile more, to make him happy.

“He asked about you the other day when I said that I’ll be coming to visit.”

Serim blinks at Seongmin softly, his thumb brushing against the younger’s knuckle, “Did he?” He asks absentmindedly. He doesn’t really care whether Jaehwan asked about him. Seongmin hums in response, his eyes falling down on their hands as he smiles gently.

“He did. Asked about when you’ll be discharged.”

That’s new. Serim is almost positive that Jaehwan had never paid that much attention to the details of Serim’s life.

“What did you tell him?”

Seongmin shrugs without a word. His lips purse and then he looks up at Serim from under his eyelashes, “I said that I didn’t know.”

“And what did he say then?”

“Nothing. He just nodded and left for the theatre.”

Serim exhales a small breath. Seongmin is still watching him, Serim stares back.

“If he didn’t believe you then that’s his fault.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to feel responsible for other people’s actions, Seongminnie.”

“I know.”

“Then what is this truly about?” Serim asks. He watches Seongmin take a deep breath, his gaze moving downwards again.

“I don’t know.”

Silence between the two of them. Serim can still hear the chatter of the people from the tables next to theirs but his mind is not focusing on that. His only focus at the moment is Seongmin and the crestfallen look on his face.

“I just,” The younger man starts, his head lifting but his eyes still cast downwards. Serim doesn’t like the dejected look on his face. Seongmin takes a deep breath, slowly releasing it as he says, “My work is tiring these days but it’s been going so well, hyung. So well. I think.. I think Jaehwan-hyung is thinking about some things too much,” Seongmin pauses, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “We both agreed to focus on our jobs in the meantime but.. I don’t know if he’s still planning on doing that on his part.”

“You don’t have to feel responsible for other people’s actions,” Serim repeats himself. Seongmin’s eyes flicker towards him. “Whatever happens just.. face it in your own way. You know what you want, Seongminnie, if Jaehwan-ssi doesn’t know what he wants then..”

Then you can always leave him, Serim wants to say but doesn’t.

“Then there’s always things like couples counselling or I don’t know.. soulmate therapy.” Is what Serim ends up saying instead.

Seongmin studies him for a few moments, his eyes running over Serim’s face, his hands warm in Serim’s grasp. He smiles and it’s a soft, small, quiet thing just like him.

“You’re right, hyung,” Seongmin says. He’s got this look in his eyes that Serim doesn’t know what it means. “You always have the right words to say, huh?” He whispers, so quiet that Serim wouldn’t have been able to hear it had he not been paying close attention.

“I guess,” Serim responds. Seongmin smiles again, Serim wishes he could take a polaroid picture of his smile now and treasure it forever.

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen,” A guard calls out from where he has been leaning on the wall next to the door. “That will be all for today, next visitation day is in two weeks, please do remember that those of you who want to stop by again must go to the receptionist and write down their names and the name of the patient they’re going to be visiting.”

“Same time, same place, in two weeks?” Serim asks softly, his smile small.

Seongmin’s responding smile is so bright that it could rival the sun. “Same time, same place, in two weeks.”

They stand up together, their hands still in each other’s hold between them. Serim tugs Seongmin closer when they both step away from their seats, the younger man goes into his arms willingly.

They hug for a minute longer, letting the commotion of the other patients saying their own goodbyes to their people mask their longing. Serim squeezes his arms tightly around Seongmin’s body, feeling the younger man do the same. There’s a small sniffle before Seongmin steps away slowly, his arms falling back down to his sides.

“Come on, ladies and gentlemen, one at a time, please!” The guard calls out as he starts escorting people out.

Seongmin smiles at Serim, his hand slowly rising to wipe away the tear that Serim didn’t even notice had fallen down his cheek. To be honest, Serim hadn’t even noticed that he started quietly crying until Seongmin decides to take his face between his palms and smile gently at him, his own tears gathering in his eyes but not falling, not yet.

“I’ll miss you.” Seongmin says. Serim struggles to keep his crying quiet.

“I’ll miss you too.” He mumbles between his trembling lips.

“I’m sorry, I feel like we only talked about Jaehwan-hyung today.” Seongmin’s eyes are filled with regret but Serim shakes his head softly in order to make that regret go away.

“It’s fine, I’m just happy that I got to see you again.”

Seongmin’s eyes waver, more tears gather in them, he opens his mouth like he wants to say something but he’s cut off by the guard.

“It’s time to go, young gentleman.”

Seongmin nods once without taking his eyes off of Serim. “Yeah, I know.”

He nods again and Serim returns it, his voice wobbly as he whispers out, “Until next time.”

“Until next time,” Seongmin mumbles back and he looks like he’s contemplating something before he nods once more to himself in determination. Serim is about to ask him about it but the younger man catches him completely by surprise and makes him lose his words when he silently stands up on his tippy toes and soundlessly kisses Serim on the cheek.

Serim’s hands shake by his sides. He wants to reach out and grab, hold, hug Seongmin in his arms but he can’t. Seongmin has already overstayed his visit and the guard is being patient enough as it is while he waits for Seongmin to finish saying his goodbye.

“Bye-bye,” Seongmin pulls away, his hand raising in a small wave that makes Serim even more terribly fond of him.

“Bye-bye,” He waves back as he watches the younger man watch him, until he can’t anymore, until he has to turn back around and be escorted out of the room with the help of the guard. The guard who looks sadly back at Serim, his eyes full of pity.

Serim doesn’t need his pity. He doesn’t need anyone’s pity. He just needs Seongmin.

And Hyeongjun.

Serim turns around slowly and looks at Hyeongjun through his tears. Hyeongjun is already waiting for him, he’s already looking at him. Serim can’t tell what Hyeongjun is feeling or what he felt while he watched him interact with Seongmin but he hopes that his reaction is not bad.

Serim likes them both. He wants to keep them both by his side.

He doesn’t know what to expect from Hyeongjun but he definitely didn’t think that the younger man would smile and gesture for him to come closer. Serim stares at him, crying soundlessly, for a second more before he walks to his side.

Hyeongjun puts an arm around his waist and together they get in line as they follow behind the other patients, as their led back inside their prison.

Same time, same place, in two weeks.

Serim can be patient if it means that he’ll get to see Seongmin again.

Serim’s chest feels heavy.

They have a free period before the time to go back to their rooms comes. The rest of the patients that had people visit them are lingering around in the entertainment room, chatting with each other or keeping their distance to think about the conversations they’ve just had with the most important people in their lives.

Serim is one of those that are keeping their distance.

He’s cowered up so far into the wall that he’s become almost invisible. His mind keeps replaying to him flashes of Seongmin. Seongmin’s eyes, Seongmin’s hands, Seongmin’s smile, Seongmin’s words, Seongmin’s soft reassurances.

He wants to stop thinking about him but at the same time, he never wants to forget about him, not even for a second.

Serim curls in on himself. He’s surrounded by too many people. People that won’t understand him or his pain, some others that might but it doesn’t matter either way. He’s surrounded by people and Serim doesn’t want to be surrounded by anyone at the moment. Even the slightest brush of someone’s arm against his own feels like it’ll have him jumping ten feet in the air. He’s so on edge. He’s too on edge.

It’s too suffocating in this room.

The guard by the door is occupied by another guard. Serim sees the guard’s distraction for the opportunity that it is and he takes it as he hurries out of the room. Outside in the hallway, he can’t say that it’s any better, he can’t say that his anxiety has gone down or that the heaviness in his chest has disappeared or even eased.

Serim wishes he could see Seongmin again, now.

Serim wishes he never cared for Seongmin at all because it’d save him so much pain.

Serim doesn’t know what to wish for.

He leans against the wall, his breath short and uneven as he tries to calm down. His mind isn’t helping at all, every memory he’s ever made with Seongmin keeps replaying in his head like an old broken record. Serim sinks down the wall, sitting on the floor and closing his eyes as he remembers what it felt like to hold those hands, what it felt like to kiss those lips and play with Seongmin’s black strands of hair.

“Hyung.” The voice that calls out to him now is high, just like Seongmin’s but also much different. “Is everything okay, hyung?”

Footsteps walk closer to him when he doesn’t reply.

Serim swallows heavily when those footsteps come to a stop in front of him. His head tilts backwards and his eyes slowly flutter open to gaze up at Hyeongjun. There’s a hallway light that’s casting its glow behind Hyeongjun’s head. It makes him look angelic.

Serim still doesn’t know why Hyeongjun’s in the mental asylum. How can someone who looks this angelic and innocent be stuck in a place like this? What has he done?

“Why are you crying, hyung?” Hyeongjun asks, a frown on his lips.

“I am.. I’m crying?” Serim lifts a hand up to brush his fingers against his cheek, only to realize that he is indeed crying. He doesn’t know why that startles a laugh out of him but it does. He laughs softly and he’s certain that it makes him look like the lunatic that got himself locked into a mental asylum but he doesn’t care.

He started crying over Seongmin without him realizing it.

“Hyung?” When Serim looks back up, he can see through his tears that Hyeongjun has stopped frowning. The younger man is just wearing this blank expression on his face as he watches Serim cry and giggle over absolutely nothing. A few moments pass between them just like that, with Hyeongjun silently staring as Serim loses his shit. And then Hyeongjun smiles.

Serim’s breath gets caught in his throat. Hyeongjun’s smile isn’t like Seongmin’s, it’s not soft, small and quiet. Hyeongjun’s smile is sharp, his cheeks always push up and turn his eyes into crescent moons, his teeth pearly white. His smile is different from Seongmin’s and yet..

And yet, it’s still extremely attractive to Serim.

“Hmm, look at that.. you stopped crying, hyung.” Hyeongjun says, tilting his head sideways without letting the smile slip away from his lips.

Serim doesn’t answer. He can’t. He’s too focused on watching Hyeongjun smile. His lips part silently, his breath leaving him softly.

“Say..” Hyeongjun starts, slowly squatting down to Serim’s height. “Does this have anything to do with the pretty boy that came to visit you?”

Serim stops breathing completely. He can only nod his head numbly.

“Aww, hyung. Did he say anything to make you cry? Should Hyeongjunnie do something about that—”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“Hm?” Hyeongjun hums in question.

“It’s not.. It’s not something that he did, at least not directly.. I just.. I started thinking about some things and I guess.. I started crying out of nowhere.”

Hyeongjun hums again, this time in understanding, “I see.”

“Would it..” Serim starts and then pauses when he sees that Hyeongjun’s full attention is on him. “Would it really be that bad if he.. made me cry? Why would you care?”

He needed to ask. He needs to know.

Serim still hasn’t asked Hyeongjun why he’s in the mental asylum.

“Because, hyung,” Hyeongjun smiles again and his thumb strokes across the inside of Serim’s right wrist. When Serim’s eyes fall down to their hands, his breath hitches again at the sight of his soulmark visible, out in the open. His eyes trail to Hyeongjun’s right hand, to the soulmark on the inside of his own right wrist.

An orange tangerine. A perfect match for Serim’s soul mark.

His eyes are hesitant to lift up and look at Hyeongjun but they do so anyway. Hyeongjun is already looking at him, silently waiting for the moment that Serim puts the pieces together. Serim’s eyes widen a bit and Hyeongjun smiles again.

His smile brings a chill down Serim’s spine.

“We have to look out for each other now, yeah?”

Serim swallows, his lips shake and his eyes waver as he flickers his gaze over Hyeongjun’s face. The younger man’s eyes are so big, Serim has always noticed that about him but now he sees it more clearly than ever. “Hyeongjun-ah..”

“It’s gonna be fine, hyungie.”

Serim stutters out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as Hyeongjun’s thumb keeps running back and forth across the inside of his wrist, over the tangerine soulmark.

“Yeah,” Serim whispers, staring into Hyeongjun’s eyes. “Yeah, it’s going to be fine.”

Hyeongjun’s smile softens as he slowly lifts Serim’s wrist up to his lips. He keeps eye contact as he softly kisses Serim’s soulmark.

Yeah, everything was gonna be fine.

Two weeks after that, Serim stands in line with Hyeongjun by his side as they wait for the doors of the visitation room to open. They’re holding hands.

When the doors are unlocked by the guards and they open, Serim looks towards his usual table to see that Seongmin is already waiting for him this time. Serim’s growing smile falls when his eyes shift to the seat next to Seongmin’s. Jaehwan is here.

“Hyung.” A hand squeezes his back and Serim loosens his grip once he realizes that he was gripping too tightly onto Hyeongjun’s hand. Serim turns his head to look at the younger man. Hyeongjun smiles at him, “Just do as we planned, yeah? Everything is going to be fine.”

Serim studies Hyeongjun’s face before he smiles as well, softly nodding, “Yeah.” He leans closer, closing his eyes when he sees the younger man lean closer too. Their lips meet together in a gentle kiss.

"Everything’s going to be fine,” Serim mumbles against Hyeongjun’s lips, feeling as they twitch upwards into a smile.

Serim parts away from Hyeongjun then, he heads towards Seongmin and Jaehwan, Hyeongjun heads towards the two men that had come to visit him again last time.

When Serim reaches his seat and sits down, he looks up at Seongmin, gauging his reaction. Seongmin’s lips are set in a straight, thin line as he drills holes into the back of Hyeongjun’s head. Serim succeeds in pushing down the urge to grin.

“Hi, Seongminnie,” Serim says first, his smile soft when the younger turns to look at him and his glare softens away into a blank stare. Serim turns to Seongmin’s companion next, his smile melting away to something neutral. “Hello, Jaehwan-ssi.”

Jaehwan’s greeting isn’t that much different than Serim expected it to be. The older man gives him a once over, his eyes failing to hide his disapproval before he mumbles through his teeth, “Hello.”

They sit in heavy, awkward silence. When a conversation finally starts and they’re able to keep it going for more than five seconds, the awkwardness in the air still lingers. Serim keeps eyeing Jaehwan but he knows that the older man is doing the exact same thing, he can see him do so.

There’s a lull in their conversation, where Seongmin quietly excuses himself as he stands up and walks over to one of the guards that guide him to the bathroom. Serim watches him go in longing.

“I’ll ask him to marry me.”

Those words shock him. His eyes snap to Jaehwan’s. The other man doesn’t even seem to think about how wrong his words were and he doesn’t show any reaction until Serim disbelievingly stutters out, “Excuse me.. what?”

“I’m going to ask him to marry me,” Jaehwan repeats himself slowly, as if Serim is a child that doesn’t understand. His eyes narrow in suspicion, “I already bought an engagement ring. Is there a problem with that?”

“You’re..” Serim is at a loss for words. His mouth opens and closes and he can’t believe that Jaehwan has the audacity to look smug about what he’s about to do. “You’re going to make Seongmin hate you.”

In retrospect maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea, it might have worked good in Serim’s favour but.. but Seongmin always wanted to meet his soulmate and this will absolutely ruin him. Serim knows that he’s not ready for marriage, he knows that the younger one wants to focus on his career for now so he knows that this will fuck things up for him.

He thought that he and Jaehwan were on the same page about their future.

”We both agreed to focus on our jobs in the meantime but.. I don’t know if he’s still planning on doing that on his part.” Seongmin’s words from the last time he came to visit him ring in his head.

Serim stares at Jaehwan’s smug expression, he can see Seongmin coming back to their table from the corner of his eye. Serim shakes his head softly, perhaps he finds a tiny bit of joy in the confusion on Jaehwan’s face when he says, “I can’t wait to see how you fuck this up.”

“How he fucks up what?” Seongmin asks in suspicion as he lowers himself back down in his seat. Jaehwan licks his lips as he turns to look at his soulmate, the smile on his face soft but definitely forced. “Nothing, my love. I’m actually sorry to do this but I’ll have to leave earlier than planned.”

“Oh,” Seongmin deflates a bit, “But I thought we were gonna go on a date after this? To that new restaurant that opened up recently?”

“We can still do that, but I need to stop by the theatre first so I’ll just go do that now and then come pick you up when you’re done here?”

When you’re done here. He makes it sound as if visiting Serim is a chore and Seongmin obviously realizes that, if the disapproving frown on his lips is anything to go by.

Jaehwan doesn’t point it out as he stands up and leans down to place a gentle kiss on Seongmin’s head, even though the younger one keeps looking upset with him. Jaehwan looks at Serim and offers him a nod, something that Serim doesn’t return as he stares blankly up at the older man.

Seongmin and Serim watch as Jaehwan departs from the room, not even looking once over his shoulder. Serim turns his head to stare at Seongmin who in turn looks down at the table and frowns at it as if it’ll answer all of his questions.

“He’s going to ask you to marry him,” Serim reveals because he can and because he has nothing left to lose. Not anymore. “I don’t know when but I know that he’s already bought an engagement ring,” He continues when he looks at Seongmin open his mouth to speak, “He told me so himself while you were in the bathroom.”

Seongmin’s shoulders drop along with his face. Serim knows those weren’t words that he wanted to hear but he also would never hide something like this from Seongmin. It was Jaehwan’s mistake for telling him, for wanting to show off that he can ask Seongmin to marry him and Serim can’t.

“What will you do?” Serim asks.

“I don’t know,” Seongmin responds with genuineness.

Serim hates to see him so upset but there’s nothing more he can do about it right now. In a while, it won’t even matter.

He carefully looks over his shoulder once he makes sure that Seongmin is too occupied by his thoughts to notice his attention shift elsewhere.

Hyeongjun is already looking at him from three tables over. The two men at his table are also looking but Serim is unsure if they’re looking at him or at Seongmin.

Hyeongjun smiles at him, Serim smiles back. He turns back around, seeing the tears that have started gathering in Seongmin’s eyes. Serim reaches forwards, grasping Seongmin’s shaking hands in his own.

Seongmin looks up at him. A tear slides down his cheek and Serim gently wipes it away. “Everything is going to be fine, Seongminnie. Trust hyung, yeah?”

The younger man stares at him blankly for a while and Serim fears that he’ll pull away, deny his affections anymore but then Seongmin’s eyes flicker in Hyeongjun’s direction, they linger there for a few seconds before they flicker back towards Serim.

His smile is soft, small and quiet when he replies with, “Yeah. Always. I’ll always trust you, hyung.”

Serim wakes up in the middle of the night three days after the last visitation day. He sits up on his bed, careful because he’s a bit dizzy still after going to the bathroom before breakfast and throwing up the pills Yeonjun had given him earlier that morning. He slowly stands up, walking towards his locked door and waiting for that small click that signifies that the door has been unlocked.

Serim grins when the small click comes and the door opens to reveal his favourite caregiver who looks like a bear, “Woobinnie.”

Woobin smiles back, swinging the key to his door around his finger, “Heyo, Serim-hyung. Ready to go?”

”We’re going to escape.” Hyeongjun had told him the day after he revealed to Serim that they were soulmates. Serim had turned to him in shock, quickly looking around to make sure that nobody was near enough to hear them, “Don’t worry.” Hyeongjun had said, making Serim turn back to look at him again. Hyeongjun had smiled, that sharp and cunning smile of his, “Nobody will pay us any attention even if I scream it at the top of my lungs. We’re locked in a mental asylum, remember? Who’s going to take our words seriously?”

Serim had mulled over that thought for a while before he concluded that Hyeongjun was right, give or take.

“How are you planning for us to..” Still, he couldn’t help but be a bit paranoid, his eyes quickly darting around to make sure that nobody was near. “How are you planning for us to escape?”

“I’ve got help.” Hyeongjun had replied with, his eyes twinkling under the light of the entertainment room. “I found that cute caregiver you’ve been talking about, the one that looks like a bear?”

Serim perked up at that, his attention fully focused on Hyeongjun, “Woobinnie?” He asked. He had made sure to ask for the caregiver’s name when he had seen him again last.

“Yeah,” Hyeongjun had chuckled at his enthusiasm. There was a fond undertone to it, or was it maybe a mocking undertone instead?

“Woobin-hyung volunteered to help me. Help us.”

“Why though?” Serim had tilted his head to the side, overcome by confusion. Hyeongjun’s eyes had sharpened even more, his tongue running smoothly over his lower lip.

“Turns out that we both needed each other’s help with something.”

Serim hadn’t understood what that meant but he also hadn’t asked any more questions about it. He had figured out that the less he knew now, the more Hyeongjun would be willing to share with him later on.

“So he’ll help?” A hum of confirmation from Hyeongjun. “And then what.. will we be able to succeed with just Woobinnie’s help?”

“I’ve got more help than just Woobin, Serim-hyung.” Hyeongjun had said, his giggle rising in pitch at the puzzled expression on Serim’s face. “I’ve also got some help from outside the asylum.”

Serim had made a small, “Ah,” sound. His nod had been soft when he had finally realized what Hyeongjun meant.

“Mhm,” Hyeongjun had said and then silence fell between the two of them.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Serim replies to Woobin, the two of them smiling at each other.

Woobin gestured with his head and started walking down the hallway, Serim following dutifully behind him after making sure that his bedroom door was closed.

The caregiver looks over his shoulder at him, smiling softly when he sees that Serim is keeping up with his pace. They stop in front of a door, Woobin throwing a look around to make sure that nobody has suspected anything yet. He pulls out a different key from his pocket and Woobin makes quick work of unlocking the door and ushering Serim through it.

”He’ll take you to a hallway that leads to a door that will take you outside to the garden, there are fewer security cameras there.” Hyeongjun had said. Serim had nodded along with his words to show that he had understood.

“Okay.”

“We’ll meet there, I’ll already be waiting for the two of you.”

“And then?”

“And then we’ll climb the fence around the garden and get out—”

“It’s too tall, we won’t be able to reach the top,”

“Don’t worry, Woobin-hyung and I will take care of it.”

Serim hurries along, feeling Woobin’s hand gently pushing against his back as he jogs along behind him. They carefully hide in the shadows to avoid being seen on the few cameras that are strategically positioned around the garden area. There’s always a blind spot for a camera, both Serim and Woobin know that and they are using that knowledge to their advantage, fully.

Serim ducks under the branch of a tree and when his head comes back up, he can make out the bright orange of Hyeongjun’s hair. His grin is blinding, Hyeongjun’s answering grin is just as blinding.

“Ready?” Hyeongjun asks when Serim reaches his side.

Serim thinks back to everything he’s been through until now. He thinks of his grandmother, he thinks of his arrival at the mental asylum, he thinks of Jeonghan and Yeonjun and their stuck-up personalities, he thinks of sweet Seongmin and about how his soulmate is planning on asking him to marry him.

He thinks of Hyeongjun as he looks at him.

”Can I ask..” Serim starts but pauses in hesitation. Hyeongjun turns to look at him, his eyebrow raising in encouragement. “Can I ask the reason as to why you’re here? I never really.. asked before.”

Hyeongjun’s eyes sparkle in.. excitement? He looks as if he was waiting for the question to come.

“Serim-hyung,” Hyeongjun says, sliding up closer to Serim’s side. “Would it bother you to know that your soulmate is not a nice person?”

“We’re in a mental asylum, Hyeongjun-ah. As patients.” Serim deadpans a bit, but his expression smooths out immediately when he detects Hyeongjun’s disapproval of his sarcasm. “I’ve already kind of figured out that you’re not really.. the nicest person?”

Hyeongjun hums. He watches Serim’s expression closely when he drops the bomb, “I’m a murderer, Serim-hyung.”

Serim can only stare at him in shock. Hyeongjun’s growing amusement is very apparent.

“A cold-blooded, serial killer. A total psycho.” Hyeongjun continues. Serim forgets how to breathe normally. The younger one is obviously getting a kick out of making Serim lose his mind with the sudden information.

“Does that bother you? That your soulmate is a murderer?” Hyeongjun is expecting a bad reaction from him, Serim knows he is but he doesn’t really.. have a bad reaction to give? Hyeongjun has been nothing but nice to him so far and.. at the end of the line, is it truly that bad that he’s killed others before? Serim has also done things that people wouldn’t find morally right, but he didn’t care about those peoples’ opinions.

Serim was happy with himself. Hyeongjun was smiling at him, despite being a killer. Serim didn’t find anything wrong in the equation.

“No,” He says, “I’m sure there’s a reason that fate decided to pair us together.”

Hyeongjun looks at him and this time it really feels like he’s looking at him for the first time since they’ve met. “I guess so,” He hums quietly.

Serim takes Hyeongjun’s hand when the younger man offers it to him. He turns around to look at Woobin who smiles at him.

“Go now, before others realize that your rooms are empty.” Woobin says, winking at Serim. Serim nods with a smile, looking back at Hyeongjun who’s expression has suddenly gone blank. Serim nudges him gently, making him snap out of whatever thought he was lost in.

“Let’s go?” Serim asks. Hyeongjun nods after a moment.

Together they climb up the ladder that Woobin had set up earlier, said man holding onto it at the bottom and making sure that it remains steady. Hyeongjun reaches the top first and he turns around to help Serim up, after that they carefully grab onto the branches of a tree that is standing tall on the other side of the fence and together again they climb down the tree until they’ve reached the other side.

There’s a second of relief and happiness when Serim’s feet land on the pavement, outside of the mental asylum. He takes a moment to breathe in the air, feeling as if it’s somehow much clearer now.

“Come on, Serim-hyung,” Hyeongjun’s hand is warm when it slips into Serim’s and their fingers interlock as they hurry down the street, around the corner, towards a black car that is discreetly parked on the side of the road.

Serim and Hyeongjun get in the backseat. The two men that had kept coming to visit Hyeongjun are sitting in front, one of them behind the wheel and the other one in the passenger’s seat.

Hyeongjun leans forward to talk to the driver, “Step on it, Taeyoungie.”

The man behind the wheel, Taeyoung, chuckles heartily but something about the sound sends chills running down Serim’s spine. He glances at him through the rearview mirror, his eyes sharp and crinkled at the edges along with his grin and Serim quickly concludes that Taeyoung is just as dangerous as Hyeongjun.

They’re off and speeding down the road before he can even realize it.

After a few minutes, Hyeongjun hands Serim a burner phone and Serim wordlessly takes it, dialling the number that he knows by heart.

”What about Seongmin?”

“What about him?” Hyeongjun had asked, his lips downturned into a frown.

“I don’t want to leave him behind.”

“He’s getting married to his soulmate.”

“He doesn’t want to get married to him though.”

Hyeongjun had been silent for a while, expressionlessly staring at Serim before his eyes had softened and he had let out a sigh. “I guess.. I guess we can help him.”

“Can we?” Serim had asked and even he knows that if he had a dog tail, it’d be wagging in the air now.

“Sure.” Hyeongjun hums, “You owe me one though.”

“Of course, Hyeongjunnie!”

Serim waits patiently as the line rings.

“Hello?” A tired, sleepy voice says once the person on the other side of the phone picks up.

“Seongminnie.”

“Hyung?” Seongmin asks in confusion. Serim looks over at Hyeongjun who gestures for him to put it on speaker. Serim does as asked just in time for Seongmin to say, “What— How are you, how are you calling me? They don’t give phones to the patients. Where are you?”

“You’ve always been so quick-witted, Seongminnie.” There’s a fond smile on Serim’s lips.

“Hyung, I’m not joking. Where the fuck are you?” There’s a mumble heard from the phone, from someone that isn’t Seongmin, someone who’s asking who he’s speaking to. A bit of rustling and then Seongmin’s voice again, “Go back to sleep, hyung. It’s just my older brother, I’ll come back in a sec, yeah?”

Serim guesses that Jaehwan had been too tired to hear Seongmin when he mentioned the patients of the asylum and how they’re not given any phones, because he buys Seongmin’s lie very easily. Serim’s eyes flicker upwards, noticing how Taeyoung is staring intensely at him.

“Eyes on the road, Taeyoung-ah.”

Taeyoung’s eyes snap away from him but there’s a smirk playing on his lips when he responds to the man that’s sitting on the passenger’s seat. “Sorry, Jungmo-hyung.”

Serim doesn’t have time to thank the guy called Jungmo before Seongmin’s voice is heard over the phone again, “Hyung, please, what the fuck is going on?”

“I escaped, Seongminnie. Hyeongjun-ah and I escaped.”

Shocked silence follows his declaration, Seongmin doesn’t seem to have any words to say.

A sharp inhale and then his quiet voice follows, “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Why would I be joking?” Serim giggles, feeling as Hyeongjun’s hand comes and settles on his knee. “Aren’t you happy that hyungie’s out?”

“I’m— I mean— Yeah, of course I am, but hyung—”

“Someone’s going to stop by your apartment tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Someone is going to come to your apartment tomorrow,” Serim repeats slower.

“I heard you the first time, hyung, what the fuck are you—”

“His name is Woobin. Seo Woobin. He’s going to pretend that he’s there to ask a few questions about me, because they’re going to realize already that I’m gone and they’ll want to contact whoever’s talked to me recently.”

Seongmin’s breath hitches over the line. He was the one that always came for visitation days.

“Wait— What do you mean by pretend? Why pretend? Isn’t that his actual job already?”

“Woobinnie’s on our side.”

A shaky exhale before Seongmin whispers, “Okay.” He clears his throat afterwards and then his voice comes again but only this time it’s a bit more stable. “Okay, and what do I do?”

“You answer the questions, Seongminnie.” Hyeongjun pipes in before Serim can reply.

There’s a frustrated sigh from the other side of the line, “Hyeongjun.”

“That’s Hyeongjun-hyung to you.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“You’re going to answer Woobin’s questions,” Serim cuts in before things can escalate even more. Hyeongjun’s gaze burns holes through the side of his face. “But that’s not really why he’s gonna be there,”

“Why is he gonna be here?”

“He’s there to collect information on your dear soulmate so it’s easier for us to kill him after,” Hyeongjun says, plain and simple. Serim can hear how the deafening silence is getting ready to swallow Seongmin whole before the sound of him breathing irregularly is heard. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me, Seongminnie,” Hyeongjun says, his voice mockingly sweet.

“Deep breaths, Seongmin-ah,” Serim demonstrates and Seongmin follows, trying to calm down his breathing, “That’s it, deep breaths. This is going to be good, okay? We’re going to help you.”

“By killing my soulmate,” Seongmin hisses over the line but Serim knows that he’s trying to keep as quiet as possible.

“By killing the person that is forcing you into something you don’t want to do,” Hyeongjun corrects.

“As if you haven’t forced others into doing things they don’t wanna do.” Seongmin throws back.

Hyeongjun reaches for the phone and snatches it from Serim’s grasp before he can fight back, “Listen here, you little brat.” Serim can hear Jungmo mumble Hyeongjun’s name in warning but Hyeongjun ignores him. “I don’t have to help you, alright? I could very well kill you as well if I wanted to—” Serim’s gaze snaps up at Hyeongjun in alarm, Hyeongjun meets eyes with him. “But I won’t do that because Serim-hyung asked me not to.” Serim visibly relaxes at that.

“How considerate of you as hyung’s soulmate.” Seongmin spits venom.

“Well, I’m a much more considerate soulmate than yours is, aren’t I?”

Silence follows Hyeongjun’s words and Serim knows that Seongmin has been caught off guard. Hyeongjun has a point with what he’s said.

“I thought so.” The man with the bright orange hair huffs, smirking in triumph.

“Fuck you.”

“No thank you, Seongminnie.”

“Give the phone back to Serim-hyung.” Seongmin snaps.

“You’re on speaker, darling,” Hyeongjun coos back.

Serim can hear Seongmin taking a deep breath, “Serim-hyung.”

“Seongminnie, please. Tomorrow Woobinnie will come to your apartment and then he’ll explain the rest, okay? He knows what time to stop by, I’ve already explained to him your schedule.”

“You gave my schedule to a stranger— You know what?” Serim holds his breath as Seongmin pauses, “Okay, yeah, fine. I guess.. I guess there’s no other option.”

He sounds defeated and Serim hates that but he knows that it’s all going to be worth it in the end if everything goes according to the plan.

“I’ll see you soon, Seongminnie,” Serim says. He can see Taeyoung glance back at him again through the rearview mirror. Serim watches as Jungmo’s hand raises and he gently puts it on Taeyoung’s thigh, Serim’s eyes move away almost immediately afterwards.

“Yeah, hyung, I’ll..” Seongmin sniffles, Serim frowns at the sound of it. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Don’t sound so sad, Seongminnie, it’s almost over.”

“That’s easy for you to say, hyung. You’re finally free.”

Serim’s expression falls as he’s overcome with sadness. Seongmin continues, “I’m not.”

For a few moments there’s nothing but silence that follows Seongmin’s confession. The silence is broken by Hyeongjun’s hum, “You’re bold when you’re scared, Seongminnie.”

“I’m not scared,” Seongmin replies and for the first time he sounds like he’s not even angered by the reminder of Hyeongjun being there. “I’m tired.”

Serim takes a deep breath, trying not to cry at those words, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, hyung.”

“Until next time?”

Seongmin chuckles through the phone and Serim is so endeared by the sound that he can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips, “Until next time, hyung.”

They hang up and then Serim settles back in his seat, handing over the burner phone to Hyeongjun without a word. He watches as Hyeongjun tucks the phone into his pocket so he can destroy it later.

“It’s almost over now.” Hyeongjun says.

Serim looks at the passing lights from outside his window, Hyeongjun’s hand warm on his knee. His own hand travels down and presses on the inside of Hyeongjun’s right wrist, rubbing circles over the orange tangerine soul mark, in order to soothe himself.

He looks over at Hyeongjun. They smile at one another.

“Yeah, it’s almost over now.”

And in truth, the story is just starting.