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The rain was falling non-stop from the moment the sun decided to appear high in the sky, a background sound for the activities going on in that room.
After a moment full of passion where Damien let himself be carried away by her once again, letting his body express what his voice would never admit to himself. The two of them, tired and satisfied lay on Alexandra's large bed; their bodies covered in the evidence of their union.
It had taken a long time to get to this, many fights and tense moments that made them think for a few moments that this had no future, they were so different; Alexandra Lamour, an opportunistic writer willing to sell her soul in order to be someone, a woman who never touched her heart in any situation and sought pleasure before stability, Damien, on the other hand, was a strange man in many ways.
Alexandra knew it from the moment she met him, his groomed appearance seemed something he didn't feel comfortable with, and his temperament was something not many men had (Alexandra wasn't stupid, not all men were delicate demure flowers but the point was that not all men acted in such a liberal way in front of strangers) he was someone who had an opinion if he had to have an opinion and wasn't afraid to admit his unmanly tastes to others without a hint of shame; he showed his being and didn't let others extinguish his light.
What caught his attention most as he got to know him was his mind, that thing had created a world completely opposite to reality, a world where everything they knew was different, from social interactions to the history of many religions. For a few moments, it seemed like an absurd idea, but the more Demian spoke the more he could begin to imagine such a world.
One where men were freer.
Maybe at first, she started their relationship so she could enter more into that crazy world and find her inspiration, but, as she spent time with Damian she realized, his presence was something she didn't want to get rid of.
It took a lot of time, tears, and screaming but they were here, together, she wouldn't trade it for anything.
That night, some time ago, when they were dancing in that club, covered in glitter and colored lights she began to glimpse the man who at first was hiding in those fantasies of arrogance and insinuations of power, someone who had been deprived of his own self. Alexandra was curious to see who he was underneath all those complex layers that made up Damien.
Sometime later she wondered, had something happened to make Damien decide to live in that imaginary world of male domination? Was it a harrowing experience that had made him take refuge in that world where he could be safe? If so, there were other questions to answer: Who was the culprit? A controlling ex-girlfriend who had wanted to have Damien as a perfect little doll? A friend who had been outraged causing Damien to open his eyes to this cruel and merciless world for men? Or had it simply been this way, someone free and filled with a deep desire for freedom for others?
Alexandra still wasn't sure about any of those questions, but, out of her own selfish desire, she hoped he would have all the time he wanted to answer those questions.
But Alexandra couldn't help that jealousy simmering inside her as she imagined other women who had glimpsed that bit of desire and rebelliousness that so characterized Damien, who would have discovered the way he responded when he realized someone didn't think he deserved to give an opinion, how he raised his eyebrows arrogantly and placed his hands around his waist, his aquiline nose turned sideways and a smug smile settled on his face when he answered something clever and they certainly didn't expect it, how she got up late in the mornings but took too long to sleep because she couldn't find a comfortable position, that she liked her breakfast full of cold apple juice but still enjoyed some cinnamon cranberry tea if she ate toast, that she enjoyed wearing light sweatpants instead of tight jeans or short shorts, that her eyes would light up when she talked about her friends and that she always bought Christophe's favorite pastries even though she always complained about being his servant.
She was aware that it was highly unlikely that anyone would know all those things at a glance, much less any of Damien's former partners who, without much trouble had said that they were more like flings than real commitment situations.
That didn't make that animal impulse of jealousy suddenly go away, she knew it was silly but she couldn't help but think that some woman, someone unknown would come into Damien's life not to leave and send her away, for she was someone who hadn't had a steady relationship except for the father of her daughter, and that wasn't a relationship she was proud of.
" What are you thinking?" Damien's voice brought her out of those distant memories and brought her back to the present, with her body pressed to the other's and his lips kissing her back.
" I was thinking how beautiful you look today" Alexandra sighed caressing the broad back in front of her, leaving soft kisses along with it and moving up to the man's shoulders and neck.
"I was thinking, we could go to that restaurant downtown that I want you to meet later" Between kisses and with a soft voice Alexandra continued " We will have dinner by candlelight, we will talk about anything meaningless because we will stare at every word, enjoying our mere presence, watching every gesture and gesture, waiting so that when we finish we will go for a walk holding hands; with the wind fluttering our coats and leaving us with a feeling of euphoria that will make our insides bubble with bliss..." Alexandra whispered each word in Damien's ear who with a gentle movement stepped in front of Alexandra.
"Once again you wax poetic in the face of these banalities, so what? then you will say something cliché in this fantasy tale where I will begin to shiver at the night breeze and you, so obliging will offer me your coat strategically a few sizes bigger and thicker than the one I am wearing, I will refuse at the gesture but you, with a sideways smile, will place it on my shoulders and caress my cheeks" Damien did exactly what he said, he took Alexandra's sharp cheeks and gently caressed the flesh in his hands " I will look away with a blush on them and you will laugh before resting your hand on my waist" With a smile he spoke as he slid his fingers down Alexandra's muscular arm, slowly before taking her hand and placing it on his own waist.
"But you won't really" With a look of assurance Alexandra let Damien take her hand and when he touched the waist not at all gently caressed the bone that with softness could be felt " You will mock the gesture so common in women, you will say that in your world, where I would be covered in jewels and makeup on my lips, wear a dress with a long cut that accentuates my waist would hug my skin and my long hair would be pulled back in an elaborate hairstyle; I would take your coat, with a shy look I would let you embrace me and carry me, you would have the last word and I would wait for a kiss in the moonlight where our bodies would become one and you as a strong man would leave me with desire one more evening, waiting when my fantasies could be fulfilled."
And before they knew it, their lips joined, it was not a wild and hungry gesture like those of a few hours ago, where they sought pleasure and release; in this one, they were not seeking depravity, it was something even deeper, a connection they never thought they were looking for, lost in a physical and carnal world, they were the ones lost in that sea of equals waiting to meet but never seeking each other.
It was just them, living something they thought forbidden.
They would not change it for anything.