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Ruby and Clancy were up the tree on Amster Green, as usual. It was late spring, so they were surrounded by dense greenery that hid them from the passers-by below. She liked the tree best when it was like this. It was no longer such an ideal meeting place – Clancy had shot up half a foot over the past year and found himself rather gangly for tree-climbing, and Ruby’s expanding figure made her a little clumsier than she thought herself – but tradition was tradition. Each of them had a candy bar in their hands, bought from Joe’s Supermart, and was slowly eating it as they talked aimlessly. This wasn’t a meet-up with an agenda. They were just here to shoot the shit until they had to be back at home. Ruby was trying to make sure she didn’t end up hauled into her parents’ ongoing pool party planning, so was aiming to make this candy bar last as long as possible.
“I swear they changed the recipe of these,” Clancy commented, picking a melting crumb from the inside of the wrapper with his teeth.
“I don’t notice a difference,” Ruby said.
“I could eat five of these without feeling sick a few years ago, and now I think I’d barf if I had two. Must have added more sugar or something.”
“Or,” Ruby raised her eyebrow, “you’re getting old.”
He shook his head determinedly.
“Finding sweet things too sweet? Classic sign of aging, my pal.”
“I only turned sixteen a month ago Rube, you can’t start with the old man talk.”
“I can practically see the grey hairs.”
Clancy plucked a leaf from beside his elbow and flicked it at her. Unfortunately because it was so green and fresh it twirled anticlimactically to the ground mere inches from him.
“And your throwing strength is declining,” she added. “We’ll need to put you in a home soon.”
“If Mrs Digby’s allowed to run a house at her age, I can sure as hell climb trees with you now.”
They both chuckled, sitting back and licking melted chocolate from their thumbs. Twinford was warming up already. It would likely be a hot summer. Ruby was preparing to be demanded to buy new clothes – last holiday her ankles had started showing when she wore her favourite pairs of jeans, and her mother was declaring that Ruby would finally have her anticipated growth spurt any day now. In truth, Ruby was starting to grow out of her current wardrobe. Against all her wishes, her hips were starting to mimic her mother’s, and a lot of her old favourites no longer sat quite right on her body. Ruby herself couldn’t care less about the change in her appearance, but it was causing problems in the field. Relearning her centre of balance hadn’t been the most fun when parkour had always come easily. She had endured enough unexpected scrapes to recognise that some practise of new movements was necessary, though.
“Can’t believe we’re finally growing up,” Ruby commented.
“Don’t start harping on about graduation or something, I get enough of it from my parents.”
“They’re right though, only another two years at Twinford High and we’ve got to start making plans.”
Clancy groaned. “Tell me about Spectrum or something, anything that gets us away from graduation.”
“Nothing going on at Spectrum, really. Hitch is still managing my training programme, Froghorn has me decoding the occasional cypher he doesn’t want to handle, but for the most part, it’s smooth sailing.”
“More codes?” Clancy sat up, leaning his hands on his palms. The sparse blond whiskers at the corner of his mouth had chocolate on them. “So what have they assigned you?”
“I haven’t been assigned anything, bozo. Froghorn and Blacker are still the official coding team, I think they’re just keeping my brain active. Froghorn in particular likes to imply I’m getting soft already. Also, you have mush on your face.”
“Who’s aging now?” Clancy grinned, wiping his mouth. Ruby pulled off a twig and threw it at him. It landed far more successfully than his leaf. “Hey!”
“Tell me about your life now,” Ruby said, “it’ll keep me feeling less violent.”
Clancy grumbled, but eventually sighed and thought about it. “Not much going on with me either. My parents grounded Lulu yesterday, I suppose.”
“They grounded Lulu?” Ruby clarified. “Are you sure you don’t mean Minny?”
“No, I mean Lulu. She keeps going out to see her dumb boyfriend and Dad’s mad about it because he doesn’t like him, so he’s grounded her, but she keeps sneaking him in through the window anyways.”
“You Crew kids and inviting people in through the window.”
“I have never invited you in through the window, but you frequently choose it.”
“Agree to disagree. Anyway, what doesn’t your dad like about Lulu’s man?”
Clancy gave her a sideways glance. “This is too gossipy for your usual tastes, why do you care?”
“We’re getting old Clance, soon the only news is going to be the comings and goings of various boyfriends and girlfriends.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Ruby gestured broadly to the world beyond their tree. “Everyone seems to have a boyfriend or girlfriend now. Or a crush. And it’s the only thing they ever talk about. It seems we’re doomed to end up the same ways as our parents, schmoozing with other couples.”
He snorted. “That is so profoundly not true.”
“On what basis? When was the last time you walked through the corridor at school without hearing who was caught kissing whom behind the Minimart?”
“Our entire friend group, Rube. Yesterday we spent the entire afternoon talking about that double feature we saw, and then Red knocked over her drink and we started tallying up her accidents over the last week.”
“Elliot barely hangs out with us anymore.”
Clancy’s expression changed.
“Have you noticed that? Ever since he asked out that girl from the bike store, he’s never around after class or on weekends.”
“It’s a new thing,” Clancy replied. “He’ll be around more once things settle.”
“But I don’t get it!”
Clancy now looked confused. “What’s got you so worked up about this?”
She twisted her mouth as she thought. “I don’t know. I just don’t get why everyone seems to be so obsessed with boys or with girls, and why it means we can’t all just hang out like we used to. I swear, if I have to hear one more guy call Red cute when we go to lunch, I’ll pull out the aikido.”
Ruby watched as Clancy blushed. “She is… kinda pretty though, don’t you think?”
“Of course she is, Red’s gorgeous, Clance, but we already knew that so that ain’t it.”
She waited generously as Clancy cleared his throat and looked studiously beyond the tree’s branches as his face went back to its usual pasty colour. Her candy bar had entirely melted at this point. She didn’t want the rest.
“I’m just saying,” Ruby continued, “love seems to be in the air, and I think I’m the only one not breathing it in. Just doesn’t seem to be on the cards for me.”
Clancy looked at her even more strangely now. “I mean, Ruby, you’ll find someone eventually, it’s just a matter of—”
She cut him off as fast she could. “No, that is the opposite of what I meant, bozo.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not saying I want it to be, I just wish I could kinda understand why everyone else cares so much. I get it, psychologically,” she said, as Clancy prepared to talk again, “but I don’t get it.”
“I know what you’re saying. You know why everyone’s obsessed with it but you don’t feel that same obsession and it’s making you a little weird right now, if I can point out.”
Ruby rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you’d rather talk about Richie Dare or Danny Jupiter than Crazy Cops? Because if so, I’m not going to lie, I’ll feel a smidge betrayed.”
“Can’t say I’m interested in Richie or Jupiter myself, but I guess you’re not talking about me specifically with that question.”
“No.” Ruby sighed. “When I drift off during one of Mrs Scheiderman’s lessons, I’m usually turning over coding mechanics in my head, or what Mrs Digby might have on the stove, or even wow, I sure wish Mrs Schneiderman had read half the articles on whatever she’s talking about that I have, because that would make class about 85% more interesting. I’m not thinking about guys. Or girls, for that matter.”
Clancy spluttered. “What do you mean, you think about girls?”
“I just said I didn’t, duh brain, listen a little harder.”
“I mean, what do you mean about girls thinking about girls?”
“Ever read pulp fiction, my friend?”
“I am aware of it, sure.”
“Ever look right at the back of those little revolving racks down on East Side?”
“As if my dad would let me take that long over the pulp section.”
“Well, there’s some enlightening volumes stashed in there, let me tell you. No happy endings, but let’s just say Dorothy gets familiar with the ends of rainbows in them.”
“I am not interested in reading about that.” He looked mildly dazed.
“Broaden your horizons, my friend. There’s a whole world out there that our folks don’t expect us to go looking for. Anyway, my point is that I’m just not interested in anything in that whole love department while it seems just about everyone else is. You’re the only sane conversation I can get half the time.”
“That’s always been true.”
She gave a conceding nod.
“But,” Clancy said, “don’t go having a meltdown over that just yet. I’m a little baffled by all the interest in dating myself. We’re still practically kids, we’re got plenty of time for that stuff to start making sense.”
She shrugged, adjusting her position on the branch. Her hips were starting to ache. “I know. I just… don’t think this is something I’m ever going to get.”
“Now come on Rube, there’s nothing in this world you can’t get with just a bit of dedicated thinking time.” Clancy smiled. “Let other people get ahead of the game for a change, take a back seat and think about Mrs Digby’s cooking for a while.”
“She does make a mean meat loaf, you know.”
“I’ve sampled it many times and can never say I’ve been let down by it.”
“What’s life without the simple joys of homemade meat loaf?”
“Get her to teach you the recipe before you move out, then you’ll never be without it.”
“Oh man, moving out,” Ruby groaned. “What’s even the point of that?”
“You want to live with your parents forever?” Clancy had long had plans to move straight in with either Minny or Lulu as soon as either of his sisters had their own place. Ambassador Crew did not support the impending arrangement, but Ruby suspected it wouldn’t matter much in the end. The Crew siblings were a determined bunch.
“Of course not, but where am I going to go live solo?”
“Hitch wouldn’t come with you?”
“He’s my colleague, not my nanny.”
“He is your house manager.”
Ruby rolled her eyes. “That’s his cover while I do still live at home, not his actual role, bozo. I’m not planning on moving out to live with my forty-year-old house manager, that’s not going to give the Redforts the reputation they want.”
“But why do you have to live alone?”
“I don’t!” Ruby sighed. “But when I think about being an adult, I’m not picturing a husband coming home from the office while I’ve been nursing the kids. I’m picturing heading to the Double Donut for pancakes with you after a long day locking up bad guys. Or asking Del to please close the door when she uses the bathroom. Why do I get the feeling she’d do that?”
“She would do that,” Clancy affirmed. “But why does that mean you have to live alone?”
“Because!” Ruby said exasperatedly. “Because it’s not what people do! Nobody sets out with their life plan being to shack up with their best friends for life.”
“But in your fantasy world, a good life plan is us housing up together? Me, you, and Del? That’s what you want?”
“Yeah, maybe. I just know there’s no husband in my domestic fantasies, just my pals and an absence of babies.”
“Archie Lemon really did a number on your image of family, huh.”
“Whose family portrait wouldn’t he impact? Tell me that.”
“I’m hearing you Rube. But I mean, what’s so wrong with us… just doing that after graduation? Getting a place together somewhere in the city? I’ll probably head off to college, Del will too, you can continue working at Spectrum, it could work. Doesn’t matter what’s typical, I think it’d be pretty fun too.”
Clancy said it nonchalantly, but there was a little ball in Ruby’s stomach that fizzed as he acknowledged a future where they didn’t have to cycle to see each other.
“I don’t know,” she made herself say. “What happens if someday you do understand the hype around girls and decide you’d rather house up with your lady?”
He wrinkled his nose. “I have a hunch that that won’t be happening particularly soon, I’ll be honest. And if it did, I think I’d be happy living with you and just seeing her occasionally.”
“But what about when you started wanting to get married?” she persisted. “Ambassador Crew’s going to want to see some heirs someday.”
Clancy laughed and put his hands up in defence. “Ruby, you are far too concerned about the life milestones of an imaginary relationship considering this started as “our peers talk about dating too much”. We are children, and I’ll be darned if I start talking this much about post-graduation stuff when we were doing so well at not talking about post-graduation stuff.”
“I’m just saying,” Ruby said, but she smiled at him. Clancy was right.
“Anyway,” he said, “what happens if Bailey Roach starts offering to take you out for shakes again someday, huh? You’d be all set for life!”
Ruby groaned and buried her face in her hands. It had only been very recently that she had figured out this had been a dating tactic – Bailey hadn’t thought she looked dehydrated outside Ray’s when he suggested getting a drink back while she was on the skywalker case: he had wanted to go out with her. When she had revealed this at the lunch table a few weeks back, four faces had looked back at her with scorn before laughing uproariously. Everyone else had figured he was interested in her well in advance of her own realisation, which was apparently shockingly late.
“It was three years ago, buster,” she complained, but Clancy was wheezing and it was making her laugh too. He flailed a little, bumping his head on the branch above him, and it only made them cackle more. While Ruby’s projected growth spurt was still pending, his had arrived in full force. When they were stood together on the ground, Ruby now had to crane her head up to look at him. It was one of her newer reasons for meeting up in the tree over anywhere else, although she had withheld that specific benefit from Clancy.
“At least it proves your point,” he finally stuttered out, “you really don’t get the whole guys being into girls deal.”
“Did you need proof?” she asked.
“Nah, I’m messing with you. But it sure does back up what you’re saying.”
“Living with Bailey Roach isn’t ever going to be something I want.”
“If you did, I might recommend another visit to the Spectrum psych.”
“If I did, I might head straight to SJ and see what chemicals she can pour in my ears.”
They both lapsed into comfortable sighs. Ruby squeezed the wrapper in her hand and watched melted chocolate ooze through the packaging.
“Look buster, I’m done with candy, but I’m still feeling the need for something sweet, you know?”
“I was thinking the same,” Clancy confirmed. “Marla keeps the Donut open until five now, and I think Red and Mouse were going to head there after their concert.”
“Shall we order a stack and wait for the girls to show, then?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Clancy agreed. The two of them awkwardly made their way down from the tree, both sustaining injuries. Ruby bumped her knee, and as she descended, Clancy got a face-full of leaves when a branch pinged back at him.
Both collected their bikes from the bottom of the tree and rode over in tandem. Mrs Beesman was predictably taking up the whole sidewalk with her cart, but Clancy sailed around her without a problem. Ruby was envious of the way his newly gained height gave him a speed advantage. Her Spectrum-added booster wasn’t worth breaking out on this occasion, but she was sorely tempted.
When they walked into Double Donut, the first thing Ruby noticed was the three booth seats she and her friends liked to use all being taken up by couples. Three guys, three girls, and even an extra couple who were joining one pair on a double date. She gestured over and complained to Clancy.
“See what I mean? Everyone’s into each other these days. No room for friends to be friends.”
He smiled, leaning towards the counter and pointing to the opposite side of the diner. “And that’s where you’re just wrong, my pal.”
On the other side, in equally plain sight, were four tables packed with fellow Twinford High students. Several of them Ruby recognised from class, and others she knew from spotting them in the corridor. One group of just girls, and three mixed tables. Everyone chattering away, swapping plates of waffles and pancakes, fighting over condiments, and sharing homework.
“Getting a bit tunnel visioned again, Rube,” Clancy grinned. “Might want to think of testing your observational skills a little.”
She thumped him on the arm. “Fine, I’ll admit, my biases are impacting my ability to note Marla’s customer base.”
“So what are you going to do about it?” Clancy asked.
Ruby sized him up. Man, was that kid annoying. And the best person she had ever met.
“I’m gonna order a double stack of pancakes and forget all about it.”
He returned her grin. “Let’s make that two.”