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"I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding how you, Ms. Reid, a paycheck to paycheck worker who has, until recently, never left the state of Minnesota, met a world famous artist and poet such as Ms. Mora.
"Now, Ms. More, I would like to reiterate on behalf of the United States Government that an artist of your caliber is certainly welcome in our country. We just ask that you file the proper paperwork to obtain a visa via cultural merit, instead of this fraud of a relationship."
Carmina squirmed in her seat, and Mikaela knew what she had to do.
"It's not a fraud. I'll tell you our story, but you have to keep it confidential. It's..." she blushed on cue, and delivered a hushed stage whisper. "It's embarrasing!"
"You're right that I've never left Minnesota, but if you look on the records, you'll see that Carmina escorted her touring exhibition including her famous painting Garden of Rot to the Minnesota Museum of Art in St. Paul, in early 2018. I was present."
Mikaela braced herself for the follow up she knew was coming, but she knew what she had to do. The best stories were kept closest to the truth of the events that inspired them, after all.
"Uh... huh. Sure. And I suppose it was love at first sight?"
The interviewer didn't just sound skeptical. She sounded bored.
And of course that's when Carmina left her uncomfortable stupor.
"Of course not. I saw her as art to be had, so I knocked her down in front of an audience, and I ripped out her heart."
A beat of silence.
"You're so poetic, Carmina!" Mikaela forced out in a high pitched tone. "But really, we should be more literal here. She didn't rip out my still beating heart, leaving it in my hands for me to watch with my dying breath, or anything like that. She just... grabbed my chest!"
The boredom was gone. It was now replaced with concern.
"You're alleging, under penalty of perjury, that Carmina Mora, Chilean native, assaulted a United States citizen in front of an audience?"
"No!" they both yelled out.
"It wasn't like that!" Mikaela scrambled. "It was, you know, art!"
"Ms. Reid. Being an artist does not give one the right to push an individual to the ground and tastelessly grope them."
"It wasn't tasteless, it was sensual and said something about the fleeting nature of life."
"Carmina!" Mikaela hissed.
"Sorry," Carmina said, looking a bit bashful before continuing. "Of course, this was all above board. I saw Ms. Reid when she came in and had her sign a waiver to participate. She was not coerced and chose to participate in the performance art of her own will."
"And I suppose you can produce this waiver?"
"My manager had it." Carmina deadpanned.
"And he will be able to produce it?"
"She died several years ago in a massacre I barely escaped. It was covered in depth at an international level. My business records were destroyed when I was unable to escape my captors for several years."
The interviewer at least had the good grace to look ashamed.
"Ahem. Right. So assuming this is all true, and above the board, how did a sensual piece of performance art become an engagement to be married in just a few short years?"
"Right. So after the event, I ran to an art store to get supplies. I needed to paint this girl."
"Right, and I happened to be in the area. She ran into me and I was stunned. She started painting me, and I complained that she'd stolen my heart."
"I named the piece Lo Divolví."
"And I suppose this is where you fell in love?"
"Well, Carmina did ruin my... antique heirloom family journal. So I may have told her off and not seen her for a few years."
"Oh for pete's sake, just get to the point!"
Mikaela deadpanned the interviewer. "An Jigsaw Killer kinnie built a real life reverse bear trap and put it on my head. Carmina got it off."
"I'm sorry, I need to take a short recess. Please stay in this office while I call my supervisor."
She walked out in a hurry.
Carmina hummed, rubbing her thumb up and down Mikaela's hand. "You just couldn't keep yourself from mentioning the Crotus Prenn incident, could you?"
"No! She just kept asking questions!"
"Right. Why don't you let me handle the rest of the interview that's going to decide if we can live in the same country together?"
"Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense."
They sat in quiet for a few minutes before the interviewer returned in a huff.
"I don't know how, and I don't know why, but you two must have friends in very high places. We've been told that whatever actually happened is a matter of national security, and that you're needed for protective custody." The woman paused for a moment. "In the future, perhaps just... tell us to call the high ups, if you can't tell us the truth. Your story was laughably unbelievable."
Carmina crabbed Mikaela's arm from under the table, keeping her from reacting.
"Well, you're all set. Your citizenship will be valid as soon as you two wed on the 6th of December. Congratulations, and for what it's worth, I'm sure the real story is special."
Carmina smiled, looking down at her adorable soon-to-be wife. "It is."