Chapter Text
"BWAHAHAHA!" Garp laughed.
Ace fought the urge to bang his head on the pleasant looking desk in front of him where Sengoku sat, twitching. He looked ready to commit murder, but Ace couldn't figure out if it was on himself (Ace wouldn't blame Sengoku for putting himself out of his own misery), Garp or Ace.
"Yet again the Whitebeard pirates sunk another one of your ships and kidnapped you?" Sengoku asked with a tired sigh.
"Yes, sir." Ace squirmed.
"How do they keep even finding you? We've transferred your routes so many times!" Sengoku ranted.
"I think I might be cursed. I don't know what I did exactly but it keeps happening," Ace admitted, that desk looked amazing right now.
He'd love to knock himself unconscious on it so he wouldn't have to deal with this. His narcolepsy hasn't kicked in yet so the desk was starting to sound like a great way to knock himself out.
"We're lucky no one died!" Sengoku snarled.
"So where did Whitebeard take you this time?" Gramps asked gleefully.
Ace grimaced. "A Summer Island, not sure what the name was but it was really nice. There was even a few parties. So I stole Whitebeard's alcohol and burned his favourite seat in retaliation."
"BWAHAHAHAHA!"
Sengoku slammed his hands on the desk, glaring at gramps. "STOP LAUGHING! THIS IS SERIOUS! It's like Whitebeard knows of your heritage! Has he hinted at anything?"
"No. Nothing I would have noticed anyway." Ace shrugged. "It's just the usual, 'become my son' and the turkey flirting with me. Then Thatch trying to bribe me with food, and Izo wanting to fix my hair, then Haruta wanting to drag me in for pranks... It never ends... I even tried to sail off in one of their small boats in the middle of the night and Namur caught up with me and had me help him fish instead."
They were the worst. They weren't kidnapping him to torture or torment him like most pirates would, or to use him as hostage. No. They were being nice. They were being friendly. It was a cruel and unusual punishment.
Gramps snorted. "How far did you get?"
"About twenty minutes or so?"
"That's it. I'm putting you on a Vice-Admiral's ship," Sengoku groaned. "Or I'll keep you here in Marineford-"
"No! I didn't do anything wrong!" Ace pleaded.
Gramps would never let him out of his sight if he stayed here! He'd been on training forever!
"Please don't do that," Ace begged, even going on to his knees and clinging to the desk.
Anything but that shitty gramps' training!
"Fine. I'll put you with Vice-Admiral Stainless. He should be able to keep you out of trouble," Sengoku sighed. "Ace, you need to stop getting kidnapped by the Whitebeards. Sakazuki is starting to believe you want to be with them."
"I want to set their ship on fire if that's any help?" Ace offered, sulkily. "Would be good revenge for the countless ships they've destroyed that I've been on."
"Right. You're with Stainless. In Paradise," Sengoku sighed, massaging his forehead. "If you see a Whitebeard, turn and go the opposite way."
"Yes sir."