Chapter Text
Nobody expected the Hater Empire to help with reconstructing the galaxy. At least not beyond restoring their own planets. So naturally, people were wary of their continued presence. Even if Lord Hater and his army had helped save them from Lord Dominator.
Maybe all Lord Hater needed to become a hero instead of an evil overlord was a reason to step up. For the first time he'd gained genuine admiration and respect throughout the galaxy born not from fear, but from gratitude. That seemed as good of a reason as any to embrace his new role.
Lord Hater threw himself into protecting the galaxy from villains seeking to exploit the current instability. When he wasn't dealing with them he would personally help with rebuilding. Even if it meant working alongside common construction workers.
But Lord Hater wasn't the only one working hard. The reconstruction would have taken decades, if not centuries, without Commander Peepers' coordination efforts. The empire's old database on the resources of potential conquests made it easy to locate necessary materials. They even found enough to barter with neighboring galaxies for what they completely lost.
The commander's plans were– while exemplifying the high standards he held himself and others to– possible to complete on his projected timeline. Or at least they were with the proper motivation.
And Commander Peepers had a knack for working a crowd. Through his rallies he transformed sorrow and dejection into not just hope, but fierce determination to make the galaxy an even better place than before Lord Dominator arrived.
The watchdog army played a vital role in enacting Commander Peepers' plans. For what good were plans without manpower? The watchdogs were already a highly-trained unit. They didn't have to learn how to work together like the mishmash of aliens whose communities dispersed when they were forced to flee their homes.
Much of the army had become complacent before this, with apathy keeping them from releasing their true potential. But they found renewed vigor through restoring the galaxy. After all, it was their home too! With that, their efficiency shot up past what it was at the empire's prime as they completed landmark goals far ahead of schedule.
The watchdogs had soon become friendly faces instead of ones to be feared as they started to peacefully interact with other aliens on a regular basis. They became a source of comfort despite their previous reputation. And as they intermingled, they became integrated into the galactic community.
It only took a few years to get the galaxy back to its former glory. The planets had been reformed. Even if they were smaller than before as some mass was inevitably lost to cosmic dust. If it wasn't for the lack of old plant growth it'd look as if they were never destroyed at all.
Naturally, Lord Hater and Commander Peepers offered to host a celebration for their recovery from the brink of total annihilation. Everyone who could conceivably make it was there. Including, of course, all of the galaxy's rulers.
The evening started with a slideshow Commander Peepers had put together for the occasion. Tears were brought to people's eyes as he showed how the galaxy went from barely scraping by to thriving. Most of the progress photos showed various aliens cheerfully working on rebuilding, with a few showing the good times they had in-between.
A grid showing unassuming landscapes on all the major planets appeared on the screen. The only thing each scene had in common were how they were centered on small hills. Closer observation revealed that they were live feeds.
Suddenly, the music was replaced with Lord Hater's almost nostalgic villainous theme song. The sides of the hills simultaneously crumbled to reveal obsidian pyramids adorned with lightning bolts and eyeballs. Each opened to have a watchdog run out to plant Hater's flag on the nearby ground.
"This galaxy is now under the control of LOOOORD HATER!" Commander Peepers' voice rang out, almost covering the squeaks from Lord Hater's sneakers as he ran across the stage.
"OH HECK YEAH!!!" Lord Hater yelled while sliding up to give Peepers a high-five with a resounding clap.
Peepers casually shook the sting off his hand before pressing his remote to bring up the villain leaderboard. It had been updated to show Lord Hater on the top with every planet. Second place and beyond were completely pushed off the screen.
The crowd watched in stunned silence as the two men they'd grown to think of as heroes did a victory dance in front of them. Complete with whooping and chest bumps.
Nobody spoke until Sylvia climbed up onto the stage with her hands to her hips and Wander nervously trailing behind her. "WHAT THE FLARP IS GOING ON HERE!?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Hater asked. "We saved the galaxy…"
"...so we could conquer it later!" Peepers finished. "And I would NOT recommend trying to stop us now."
Sylvia had been cracking her knuckles, ready to deck both of these backstabbing jerks. "Why not? We've defeated you before!"
"Does anyone really want you to?"
"Huh?"
The screen flickered back to the watchdog military bases and Peepers turned to address the crowd.
"You could try to remove us by force.. But are you prepared to succeed?" Peepers pulled up the first part of his presentation showing the state of the galaxy right after Lord Dominator was chased off.
"Yeah!" Lord Hater menacingly grinned at the crowd. "What're you losers gonna do without us if she comes back?"
"Or if someone or something even worse shows up!"
"Yeah! You'd go…" Hater batted his eyes as he put on a falsetto, "Oh Lord Hater please help us!" He immediately returned to his normal demeanor. "...and we would just tell you that you shoulda thought of THAT before you kicked your slice of our army off your planet!"
"So…" King Bingleborp spoke up in a fairly bored tone. "Is this your weird way of promising to protect us?"
"CAN'T YOU TELL IT'S A PROTECTION RACKET!?" Peepers screeched as he leapt into the air.
"Yeah, but isn't it basically the same thing?" Murmurs of agreement rippled throughout the crowd. Sylvia sidestepped off the stage while doing the "I'm watching you" gesture at both of them.
"NO, BECAUSE WE'RE EVIL! EEE-EE-VIL!!!" Hater couldn't believe how calmly they were taking this! Why wasn't anyone trembling in fear!? Why wasn't anyone heartbroken over how he tricked them!?
"And what sort of evil deeds will your battalions be committing?" Queen Demurra directed her question at Commander Peepers.
"Well, erm…" Peepers was tempted to make something up just to remind everyone how awful they truly were. Yet he knew it'd only cause unnecessary friction. Finally, he let out a resigned sigh.
"As long as nobody aggravates us the watchdogs will… just keep doing what they've been doing?"
As in, keep rebuilding. Queen Demurra was unsurprisingly unfazed. "Riiiiight. My planet's in as long as you allow us to self-govern."
"Fine?" Peepers crossed his arms and glared in a last-ditch effort to appear imposing. "But only because we don't wanna bother with micromanaging!"
Between most of their attendees silently struggling to sort out their thoughts on their betrayal(?) and Hater and Peepers bemoaning their lost intimidation factor, the tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was only interrupted when Wander and Sylvia pushed the villains off the stage with a large dessert table.
"WHO WANTS CAAAKE!?" Wander's voice rang out as he lifted the cover off the largest container with a flourish.
That awkward scene was forgotten as the crowd instantly swarmed the stage. Sylvia was glad that she had the foresight to sneak some pieces off the back beforehand, and protectively held her plate close to her chest while scooping Wander up to keep him from getting trampled.
Wander wiggled out of her arms to hop onto a clear spot on the table. "Everyone please stay calm and form a line!" He used his arms to direct traffic with limited success. "I promise there's enough for everyone!"
Eh, he could do that if he wanted. But Sylvia had more important matters to attend to.
Hater had returned to his bedroom, and was sobbing his eyes out while Peepers hugged him and patted his back.
"I still think you're the greatest evildoer in the galaxy!"
"But… but you're the only one! Even the watchdogs bought into our act!"
"It'll be okay sir! They're all just in denial!" Peepers stood up and pumped his fist in determination. "They'll remember why they feared us soon enough!"
"Yeah but… what if they don't? What if they still think I'm some goody-"
A loud crash brought their attention away from each other. Sylvia had kicked down Hater's door and casually walked towards them while eating cake.
"Oh no!" Sylvia cried in a poor imitation of Hater's voice. "People think I'm a swell guy! Whatever will I dooooo?"
Sparks danced across Hater's hands and Peepers drew his blaster as he hissed, "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, y'know, just checking on my two favorite bozos..." Sylvia put her plate down on Hater's amp before stepping forward. "C'mon guys... I thought you were done with the edgy crap!"
"WE'RE NOT EDGY!” Hater stood up to stomp his feet. “WE'RE COOL AND EVIL!"
"What he said!” Peepers jumped up and crossed his arms. “And we never said we were giving up evil!"
"Your actions did."
"Deceiving idiots like YOU was the point!" Peepers now had the most insufferable, punchable smirk Sylvia had seen in years.
Sylvia snatched Peepers' blaster and whacked him in the face with it, hard enough for him to fall over, all in one fluid motion. She then crushed it to ensure it'd never be used again.
"RAARGH! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" Lord Hater screamed as he fired a bolt at Sylvia.
Sylvia easily dodged by rushing past it to strike Hater's jaw with an uppercut. They exchanged blows, with Peepers throwing himself into the fray as soon as he could stand.
Their fight was over as quickly as it began with Sylvia emerging on top. Literally. She used her full body weight to pin Lord Hater onto his stomach while pressing Peepers down with her hand.
"What's wrong with people thinking you're nice anyways!? You got everything you wanted by acting like good guys! And don't think I haven't noticed how you've been happier lately…"
Neither answered. Not that she expected them to.
"Forget it." Sylvia let out a frustrated snort as she jumped off them and retrieved her plate. "You can go cry in your room about how you're insecure losers while I grab some more cake."
"Can I have some?" Hater weakly croaked.
Sylvia stopped to turn around and look him in the eyes while she flatly said, "Get it yourself." She then slotted the door back into place just so she could slam it shut. It pathetically flopped over a few seconds after she left.