Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Wil.” 

A small finger pokes him in the shoulder. Wilbur groans as he tries to move away, refusing to get up.

“Wilbur.” Techno repeats, nudging him again. 

Wil’s blanket is tugged off his torso, and he can hear it softly hit the floor, sliding off his bed and leaving him to be all cold. 

“Wilbur, I have to show you something.” Techno continues.

Wilbur blinks his eyes open, coming face to face with his twin’s young smile. He’s still missing a tooth in that childish grin, a consequence from when they both went sledding last week. Phil’s since banned them from going down such steep hills of snow. Wilbur thinks he’s no fun. 

“What.” Wilbur mutters, his expression scrunching up into something upset when he realizes how late it is. Their room is still dark, and the lantern isn’t even on. It’s cold. Wilbur wants his blanket back. He wants to go back to sleep.

“Get up.” Technoblade insists, nudging Wilbur yet again in the shoulder. Wilbur groans again, and turns his back towards his brother, hoping that’ll stop his efforts. 

It doesn’t. Techno just climbs onto his bed. 

“Tech.” Wil grunts out, trying to wave a hand and push Technoblade out of his bubble of space. “Go ‘way.” 

“I have to show you something!” Technoblade whispers in return, sounding far too excited to be deterred by a waving hand in his face. “My bending finally came in.” 

Wilbur freezes. He thinks he must’ve heard wrong. 

He lifts his head from his pillow to look directly at Techno. “Wha’?” 

Technoblade beams. “My bending came in.” He repeats, full of pride, and Wilbur slowly blinks at him, sleep fading away from his limbs as it sinks in that his ears are in fact, not broken. 

“What-?!” Wilbur sits up suddenly with a jolt. 

“Shh!” Techno slaps his hands over his mouth, struggling to hold back a laugh. “Dad’s still sleeping.” 

Wilbur goes still. He glances to the open door of their bedroom. He nods. Techno pulls his hands away. 

“Were you practicing at night again?” Wilbur whispers, even though he already knows the answer. “You know dad’s gonna ground you for that.” 

“But it worked.” Techno responds stubbornly. “I finally got my bending!” He grins again, wide and happy and missing one tooth, and Wilbur grins with him. He leans forward, holding onto Techno’s sleeve. 

“You have to show me.” Wilbur demands, now having put sleep to the side. This is much more important. 

Techno nods, and Wil expects for them to leave the bed. To run outside where the snow is falling, so that they can practice out there, where water is abundant. 

But instead, his brother moves back, cupping his palms together in front of his face and taking a deep breath in. 

He blows out a small stream of hot, red fire. 

Wilbur blinks. Leans back on his palms. “...Techno.”

“Yeah?” 

“We’re waterbenders.”

“...yeah?” 

“Why did you just make fire?”

“Uh.” Techno’s hands hover midair. He looks worried. “Maybe- Maybe Mom is a firebender?” He suggests. 

Mom was in fact not a fire bender. 

And neither was Phil. They’re both waterbender blood, through and through, so Techno should not be firebending. 

Phil tells them as such, then rushes off to make a few calls with the telephone in the kitchen. Tommy clings to Techno’s leg, looking tired after being woken up so early in the morning. 

“What’s Dad doin’?” He asks, rubbing his cheek onto Techno’s pants. Techno rests a palm onto his curls. 

“I don’t know.” Wilbur answers, frowning at the way Phil hunches over the phone, his voice quick and panicked. It’s hard to hear what he’s saying from here, but Wilbur can just barely pick out a few select words, like fire, and cycle, and- 

Avatar.  

Things happen very quickly after that. 

Men in funny looking robes come to their house. They talk all high and mighty with funny looking faces and beards, and Wilbur tells them as such. Phil tells him that’s rude, but Techno laughs, so Wilbur doesn’t feel bad. 

They want to talk with Techno. Specifically about his firebending. They ask him all kinds of questions, like when did learn how to do it, how did know how to, if he knows how to bend any other element. Wilbur hears it all from the hallway, with Tommy standing right beside him. When Phil comes back with a plate of tea and sees them hiding, he shoos them off into his bedroom. 

“What’s going on?” Tommy asks him. “Why are they talking with Te’no?” 

“I don’t know.” Wilbur replies, and he doesn’t like the way that response fits in his mouth. He feels dread sinking into his gut. “Maybe he’s special.” Maybe this isn’t a bad thing. Wilbur is overthinking, surely. 

“Special how?” Tommy asks. 

“I-” Wilbur wrings his hands together. “Maybe it’s because he’s a firebender?” 

“He’s not a firebender.” Tommy frowns, leaning against the bed with his chin resting against the mattress. “We’re waterbenders! Dad said so.” 

“Yeah.” Wilbur nods. “Yeah, we are. But Techno’s not.” 

The strange men leave, but they only come back in the morning. Phil serves them tea again, and they talk in the kitchen with boring, serious voices that make Wilbur frown. 

“Wil.” His twin whispers, tugging him by the arm. “Let’s go sledding.” 

“No.” Wilbur shakes his head, pulling his arm away and leaning closer to see what Phil is saying. “Don’t you want to know what they’re talking about?” 

Technoblade’s face goes sour. He stares into the ground with a deep frown, and when Wilbur goes to ask him what’s wrong, Phil begins to yell. 

He yells loudly. Angrily. 

Tea spills across the floor, and Phil’s favorite cup shatters upon impact, but he doesn’t seem to care. The men stare at him with that same serious, boring look. Wilbur doesn’t like the look. He doesn’t think he ever did in the first place. 

They move from the kitchen to the hallway, where Wilbur and Techno stand. One man takes Techno by the hand, and tugs him towards the front door. 

“What are you doing?” Wilbur asks, and Technoblade drags his feet, looking to Phil for guidance. 

“Dad?” Techno calls, and Phil is still yelling. Two men are arguing back with him, and they raise their hands up in a way that reminds Wilbur of when Phil would scold him and Techno. “Dad!” 

“What are you doing!?” Wilbur screams, and he can hear Tommy crying from down the hall, woken up by all the commotion. “Dad, stop them!” 

“-think of your family, think of the dangers that it could pose to them. This is outside of your control. This is the balance of the world we are talking about-” 

“Don’t tell me how to protect my children. And don’t tell me anything about balance, I don’t care.” Phil snaps out, pushing the men to the side. He rushes towards Techno, who tears his hand away to let himself be pulled into a hug. “Get out of my house.” Phil snarls, holding Techno close. 

“You can’t take on the four of us.” They respond, and they place themselves in the way Wilbur’s always seen whenever Phil practices his waterbending. Practiced forms, the same way he and Techno always tried to copy. Hands held up high, their bodies low.

He runs off into the hallway, wanting to protect Tommy before a fight breaks out. 

And it does break out. 

He pushes Tommy into Phil’s bedroom as a crash sounds out, and Tommy sobs against his shirt while screaming for their dad. Wilbur huddles them both into the closet, closing the door and hoping that will keep them safe. The halls smell of smoke and he feels the ground shake. 

When it is all over, it is quiet. 

Phil is sobbing in the remains of their living room when he and Tommy come out of hiding. Their house is half broken. Technoblade is gone.

Wilbur wishes he had just agreed to go sledding with his brother. 

They hear about Technoblade in the news, on the new fancy radio that their neighbor owns. Phil listens close while hugging the both of them, and Wilbur frowns at the words in the air. 

They say that the new avatar has been found. That he’s being kept safe and is being trained in a sacred temple so he can protect the world when he is older. 

Wilbur thinks it’s bullshit. He says as such. Phil doesn’t even scold him, he just agrees. Tommy repeats him, and Phil laughs. 

It’s the first time he’s laughed since Techno was taken. 

Phil makes lots of calls with the neighbor’s phone. Their village pays lots of attention to Wilbur and Tommy, making them whatever meals they want and taking them sledding whenever they ask. But Wilbur doesn’t want to go sledding anymore. He doesn’t want to eat dinner. He wants his brother back. 

He asks Phil when he will come back. 

Phil tells him soon. Then he makes more calls. Wilbur hears him yell into the phone late at night, and he sleeps in a bedroom that is not his own, since their house is still needing to be rebuilt. 

Eventually, new people in similar funny looking robes show up to the village. Phil doesn’t yell at them, but Wilbur thinks he wants to. 

Tommy does it for them. He says that they are ‘bullshit’, his voice loud and angry, and Wilbur grins wide with the insult. The adults around them move them inside for being rude, but Wil does not feel bad. 

When Phil comes back, he doesn’t look happy. Wilbur asks him again when Techno is coming back. 

Phil says soon. 

Months pass. The radio for a while is full of people all excited about the new avatar, about Techno, but with no new information, it eventually fades away. It goes back to normal. Their house is rebuilt, and Wilbur has his room back again. 

But Technoblade is not there. 

Phil keeps making calls. He sends letters, too, big long letters that he spends hours writing late at night. He never does it in front of Wil and Tommy, but Wilbur notices anyway, always sneaking in the hallway when the moon is bright. 

The village is still nice to them. They’re soft with Phil. They talk to him like he’s grieving, but Phil is not sad. He’s angry. Wilbur knows the difference well, even if it’s a quiet sort of anger. 

“When can Technoblade come home?” Wilbur asks, late at night when Tommy is sleeping, and he should be sleeping too. Phil is writing letters again, and his tired eyes go wide when he sees Wilbur standing beside the kitchen table. 

“Wil.” Phil breathes out, putting his pencil down. “Baby, you should be asleep.” 

“But- when’s Techno coming home?” Wil asks. He has to know. He can’t sleep without him in the same room. They used to have sleepovers in each other’s bed every week. Now they don’t even talk at all. “You’re going to get him home, right?” 

“I am.” Phil nods, and he reaches forward, pulling Wilbur onto his lap and holding him close in a hug. “I’m trying, Wil, I am.” 

“Make them bring him back.” 

“It’s not so easy.” Phil confesses, staring down at the mess of letters, useless written words all scattered around. “He’s the avatar. That’s a very important thing, so they don’t want him to be home. They want him to train and prepare.” 

“I don’t want him to be the avatar.” Wilbur presses himself against Phil’s chest, digging his fingers into his shirt. “Make someone else do it.” 

“I can’t, Wil.” 

“Why not?” Wilbur tilts his head up. “Technoblade doesn’t even have to be the avatar! Someone else should do it! One of their old people.” 

“The avatar is someone special. Someone who can bend all four elements, not like you and me.” Phil explains, and he rubs away at Wilbur’s tears. “Only one person in the whole world is the avatar. And the only way the avatar could ever change is if they die, and they become reborn again in the next life.” 

Wilbur’s eyes go wide. 

“So…Techno isn’t coming home.” He says. Phil’s face goes strained. 

“No, no, he is.” Phil promises, kissing him on the side of the head. He squeezes Wilbur tight and repeats his promises, saying that he’s going to bring him home, and he’s going to make sure Techno can come back, but it’s all white noise. 

There is only one avatar in the world. The world needs an avatar. Techno is the avatar. 

He’s not coming home. 

A few more months pass. Wilbur turns fourteen, and Tommy turns seven. 

Wilbur’s bending comes in with a burst of anger, ending with a frozen cup and a mess of ice on their kitchen table. Tommy is ecstatic with it, screaming with joy. Phil forgets whatever small, petty thing they had been arguing about, and makes him his favorite meal for dinner as a celebration. 

For a moment, Wilbur relishes it. The progress, the achievement. 

Then he hates it. The food tastes bitter, because it was Techno’s favorite too. 

Wilbur is a waterbender, just like his dad.

He wishes he was the avatar instead. Maybe then he’d be able to go with Techno. 

Two years pass. 

Phil sends letters and makes calls and Wilbur stops asking when Technoblade can come back. He knows the answer, but he still had hope. It dies with each passing morning with Phil looking exhausted. 

They end up packing their things and moving away from their village. They take a boat, a big one made of metal, and they go to a city, like the one that Wil always hears about on the radio. Phil says that someone there will help them with Technoblade. Wilbur just takes in the view of all the towering buildings, and hopes that he’s right. 

They get a new home. A little apartment, with three bedrooms, a tiny kitchen, and a living room with a creaky old balcony. The streets are loud with the abundance of people and all the cars driving around. Everything smells a little bit like smoke. 

It’s not like the place Wilbur grew up in, but he thinks he kinda likes it anyway. The change feels refreshing. Feels like a distraction from his brother’s missing presence. 

Phil gets a new job to support them. He leaves early in the day and returns late into the night. Then, when he thinks Wilbur and Tommy are sleeping, he writes letters and makes calls. 

Wilbur sees his eyes grow more tired. The dark circles on his face have become such a familiar sight now, and Wil doesn’t know how to feel about it. 

He throws himself into the wonders of the city. He travels around with Tommy, explores the roads and meets new people. He makes a few friends, but never mentions Technoblade. He tells Tommy to do the same. 

“Why not?” Tommy asks him, looking upset. “He’s our brother!” 

“He’s the avatar.” Wilbur corrects, and his heart hurts with saying that. He wishes it was a lie. “If people know we’re his family, they’re going to ask us a bunch of questions and then bother us lots.” 

Tommy frowns with the explanation, but he takes it anyway. He listens. 

Wilbur feels like he’s betrayed someone. 

Wilbur turns sixteen. Tommy turns nine. 

Phil finally gets somewhere with all his efforts. He’s rallied up people and gained some traction, and Wil notices when he finds Phil’s name in the newspapers, giving stories about how he is not being allowed to see his son. About how he is being kept away in the name of world peace. 

What good is world peace if an innocent child is being forced to suffer for it? The newspaper asks. Wilbur reads it over and over again until the paper is crumpled, until Tommy demands to have it so he can read it too. 

Phil comes home early with a smile. He looks more lively than he has in years. 

The newspapers get louder. Phil brings them to an interview, and Wilbur stumbles through speaking into a microphone, talking about his twin that he hardly even knows. 

“Do you miss him?” They ask, pens at the ready, their attention caught. 

“More than anything.” Wilbur responds, and it’s the truth. It is. 

But it also feels like a strange lie. 

He feels bitter when he says how all he wants Technoblade to come home. 

Protests run through the streets. They’re not particularly large, but it’s enough to make an impact. It’s enough to make the people in charge listen, since they know it will only grow. 

Wilbur is seventeen years old when he meets Techno again. They’re granted permission to come to the temple he’s training at, and when he first sees him, he realizes- 

He still looks just like Wil. 

They are still twins, but Techno now wears his hair in a pulled back bun, looking older, more mature. 

They are still twins, but Techno doesn’t smile like Wilbur does, he stands stiffly, with his lips pressed into a thin line. He talks to them like they are strangers from another country, his words slow and careful, polite and distant. 

Phil hugs him tightly and cries into his shoulder. Tommy rambles on and on about wanting to know about his avatar training, his new hobbies, his firebending and airbending and waterbending and-- Techno, tell me how, I can’t do it!

Wilbur…stands to the side. Eyes wide. His heartbeat echoing in his ears. 

They are still twins. 

But Technoblade is not crying with them, and he looks at his teachers with a questioning look every few minutes, as if asking when he will leave. 

They are still twins. 

But when Wilbur tries to talk to him, their conversation falls flat, and Technoblade stares at him with a carefully blank face, too still, too quiet. 

They are still twins. 

But it doesn’t feel like it at all. They share a face and nothing more.

(What Wilbur doesn’t see is the fear. The ever so slight shaking in Techno’s hands. The horrible crushing anxiety of not knowing how to greet a lost long family, and the burst of tears when the doors are closed. His teachers tell him to calm himself, to breathe, and Technoblade breaks a vase as a response, the pieces shattering across the floor.) 

The temple agrees to let them see Techno regularly. They will have visits every month, and once a year, they’ll even let Techno come to the city to visit them. It will be like that until he turns twenty-five, and he begins his journey as the avatar of the current world. 

Phil accepts it with a smile. It’s more than he’s gotten in the past several years, so he’s okay with it. This is the only way he will get his son back, especially since the world still needs an avatar. 

Wilbur thinks it’s all bullshit. 

The next time they visit, Phil brings a home cooked meal. 

Technoblade stares at it like it’s a funny looking animal, and he blinks slowly up at Phil with an aloof sort of expression. Wilbur eats his portion silently, and Technoblade thanks his father for the meal. 

Tommy still has not stopped asking questions about learning how to bend water. He says that since Techno is the avatar, he must know how, and so he can teach him. He still hasn’t had his bending come in, and so he’s getting rather persistent with his efforts. 

“What if you don’t have any bending at all?” Technoblade asks him, and Tommy’s face drops. He looks nearly devastated, and Techno takes on a panicked expression. “It’s- That’s- That’s not a bad thing.” He tries to say after, looking to Phil for guidance. 

“It’s alright if you’re not a waterbender, Tommy.” Phil tells Tommy. It doesn’t get rid of the upset look now on his face. 

“Yeah. I mean, you’ve still got your brother as the avatar? Surely that’s something.” Technoblade tries, and despite the unsteady delivery, it seems to work. Tommy looks considerate, then he changes the subject, and they talk about something other than waterbending. 

Wilbur repeats his twin’s words inside his head. 

Technoblade is the avatar. 

It’s a fact that Wilbur doesn’t escape at all these days. He searches for a job out in the city, and each interviewer he comes across, they tell him- “Hey, you’re the avatar’s brother, aren’t you? His twin.”

“Yes, I am.” Wilbur says, at first. Of course they’re curious. This was to be expected. His face was put in the newspapers when their interview first came out, some people will remember him, since his face is the avatar’s face as well. 

“What of it?” Wilbur begins to ask, wanting to be done with the questions, just wanting to get over it. People’s naive curiosity gets annoying when you’re asked the same thing fifty times in the row. 

“You have the wrong person.” Wilbur wants to say. He wants to scream it. “I’m not the avatar’s brother. He’s not my twin. We just have a similar face.” 

He ends up getting a job like how he wanted. It’s not that satisfying. 

With Phil’s past efforts, and the radio’s constant questions to their family, the word avatar keeps being thrown around too often. 

People with cameras and microphones sometimes annoy Wilbur after work, and they try to go after Tommy when he comes out of school as well. 

Tommy gets by fine with it. He’s apparently made a earthbender friend who takes no shit, and that kid scared the interviewers off with a rock to the face, claiming self-defense against harassment. 

Wilbur doesn’t have anyone to do that for him. He ignores the constant questions for weeks, until they get the message that he’s not talking. Eventually, they leave him alone. But the word avatar still reaches his ears. 

It plays on the radio, most often. On the news. Updates about Avatar Technoblade, his training, his visits with his family. The temple is a very secure place, so very little comes out of it, but someone must be giving them info, because they keep mentioning it. 

It’s probably Phil. He was always one for the newspapers. Wilbur doesn’t blame him, since the publicity helps them out with the bills, but part of him wishes everyone would shut up about the avatar entirely. It would let him breathe.

They get a new place. Somewhere much cleaner, bigger. Wilbur’s bedroom has a nice view out the window. 

For a second, he wishes there was a second bed to sit across from him. 

Tommy doesn’t ever get his waterbending. He does, however, sign up for self-defense classes. Phil supports it whole-heartedly, and Wilbur does as well. Half because he’s glad his brother doesn’t let the lack of waterbending bring him down, and half because it’s hilarious to watch his little Tommy kick the shit out of other teenagers. 

They keep visiting Techno every month. Techno’s first visit to the city is a lackluster thing. 

“-and then I said to Tubbo, no, that’s not what I meant, but then he already kicked the wall in and there was this big ass crater, just- in the wall-!” Tommy rambles on, his hands waving through the air as Technoblade sits awkwardly on their couch, looking as if he’s not sure how to even sit correctly. 

Wilbur hides in the hallway. He feels like a child all over again, listening in on conversations from the shadows. 

“Wouldn’t you two be charged with property damage?” Technoblade asks, and his voice sounds low, calm. Wilbur doesn't ever know how to feel about it. He doesn’t sound familiar. He sounds like a stranger more often than not, and Wil wonders-- if he made Techno laugh, just once, would that change it? Would that bring his brother back?

“Well, that’s only if we get caught.” Tommy shrugs. Technoblade raises his eyebrows in a slight smile, and Wilbur sees a hint of his twin behind those eyes. 

He can’t find the courage to step out of the hall. Only when Phil calls them all into the kitchen does he go, and even then, he is quiet at the dinner table. 

Techno’s favorite food is still the same, after all these years. 

It is still Wilbur’s favorite too. 

Maybe that’s all he needs. Maybe this will be enough. 

(It’s not.)

Tommy makes strides in his lessons. He’s quick with a staff, and he’s just quick in general, honestly. He signs up for fighting matches, no bending permitted, and he knocks it out of the park on the first night, fists flying, well-placed kicks bringing his opponents down. 

Him and Phil are there in the crowd, cheering loudly with Tommy’s friends. 

Wilbur can’t help but feel bitter that Technoblade is not there with them. The radio tells him the next morning that he is training in connecting with his past lives. 

It’s…something. 

Wilbur has a dream that night. His own face stares back at him with tears falling down his cheeks. When he wakes up, he can’t catch his breath.

He opens a window. The city is a loud distraction. 

Phil suggests for Wilbur to train with his waterbending. 

Since Tommy is out with his fighting matches and his friends, and Phil is off now chasing his dreams of architecture in the city, Wilbur should be finding something too. They have enough money to not worry about getting a job. Having the avatar in their family does wonders for sponsors.

Wil listens, if only so Phil won’t worry. He finds a small community of waterbenders within the city, and gets permission to use their training grounds. They’re kind with him, and they’re helpful when they see how rusty he’s gotten. 

He makes friends with a woman named Niki. She’s an instructor for their training area, and she often helps out with any younger waterbenders that want to seek guidance in the city for their abilities. She’s skilled, and it shows. She offers to teach Wilbur what she knows free of charge, but Wil pays her anyway. 

Or, he at least tries to. They end up playing a game with trying to get money into each other’s pockets for weeks on end, and no matter how he tries, Niki always wins. He reckons it’s because she has so many other people on her side. Her students are always helping out, and Wilbur always begins little mock duels with them, sending a rush of water in their direction and quietly hoping they know how to redirect it. 

They continue life like that. 

They visit Techno every month, but the visits are never all that long. Technoblade always says that he has training to get back to. Phil never protests. Tommy does, but he’s just a naturally whiny child, so it's brushed off. 

Wilbur doesn’t say anything, at first. Until-

“Can’t you put it off for one day?” He asks, a silent request. He is begging for something in his heart, but he doesn’t really know what it is. 

“Wil.” Phil says, smiling sadly. His eyes are no longer tired, he’s been getting rest as he should, and it makes it look like everything is fine. 

Wilbur doesn’t feel fine. 

“He’s got avatar shit.” Tommy answers for Techno, and Technoblade looks at Wilbur with a blank expression, a very near frown pulling at his lips. “He’s got to go study about saving the world, and all that.” 

“It’s not about saving the world, it’s about-” Technoblade waves a hand. “-upholding the peace and balance.” He sounds so poetic in the way he says it. Wilbur kinda hates it. 

“I mean, I’m sure it could wait, though.” Wilbur persists. 

“I-” Techno opens his mouth, then closes it. He glances away. “It can’t.” He offers a smile. It doesn’t feel real. “Honestly, I’m in the middle of an important time. Or at least, that’s what my teachers are saying…” 

Wilbur smiles back. It’s fake. “Right.” He grits his teeth. “Well, then go ahead. Can’t dare disappoint your teachers, now can you, avatar?”

“Wilbur.” Phil says, surprised at the sharpness of his tone, and Wilbur turns his back on Techno. He doesn’t acknowledge the eyes staring at him as he leaves. 

“What the hell was that?” 

“What was what?” 

“With- With Technoblade, Wil.” Phil sighs, crossing his arms. “Is something wrong?” 

Wilbur scoffs, holding a hand to his face. “Is something wrong.” He repeats, like Phil is an idiot. Phil cringes, clear regret. “No! Nothing is wrong. He’s the avatar. Why would that be wrong?” 

Phil looks at him with a sad look. He holds an arm out, like asking for a hug. “Wilbur.” 

“I’m just-” angry, he wants to yell. Angry that he was left behind, angry that he cannot get his brother back, because of his stupid little lessons in learning to be the damn avatar. “-annoyed.” 

“With?” Phil asks, always endlessly patient. 

“I wish he could just visit a little more often.” Wilbur shrugs. “That’s all.” It’s not, but it’s enough to get Phil off his back. "He's always busy."

Phil sighs again, and he pulls Wilbur into a hug, resting his hands at the back of his curls. Wilbur leans his forehead into his shoulder. “He’s just got a lot on his shoulders, Wil. It’s hard to pull him away.” 

And I don’t? Wilbur wants to ask. I’m his twin, I have his face, his blood, I was his brother, didn’t that mean something? Or is he nothing at all now? Is Wilbur not enough, in comparison to what Techno will be?

The avatar. The world’s peacekeeper. How can Wilbur ever compare? How can he ever get past that hurdle?

“I know.” Phil whispers. “That it’s not fair. It isn’t. But if you want, we could try swinging by more often. I’m sure Techno wouldn’t mind. His teachers can deal with it.”

Wilbur keeps his lips from twisting into a scowl. “No.” He shakes his head. “He’s in an important time, anyway. Maybe once he’s done with his current lessons.” But then there will always be something more. There will always be more for Techno to learn, more for him to practice. Then it will be problems he has to solve, people he has to save. Technoblade will not come home. 

His brother is not coming home. 

“You sure?” Phil asks. “I can try.”

“I’m sure.” Wilbur nods. “It’s alright.”

He feels like he’s saying goodbye to someone. 

Wil gets another dream that night. He dreams of hands holding onto his, a familiar sounding laugh echoing through his ears. He’s looking up at the sky, and it’s home. He can feel the frigid air touching up against his skin. 

“Wilbur!” Someone calls. Wil turns, and sees his own face, young and happy with a missing tooth in his smile. 

He wakes up. The night is late, but he stays awake until sunrise, wanting to feel the warmth on his skin. 

Wil focuses on his waterbending. He quits his old job, and finds a spot as an instructor beside Niki. She’s happy to have him on the team. 

New waterbenders aren’t all too common, but in a city as big as this one, there’s always at least a few. Wilbur goes through the motions in teaching new lessons, in improving his own skills, and it doesn’t feel like enough. 

He hears about his brother trying to access the avatar state. It’s all over the radio, people are excited that the avatar is gaining such power. 

He stays late nights at the training grounds. There’s no one to teach at that time, but Wilbur doesn’t mind. He practices and practices and sends ice shards into the walls until he's shaking from the cold, and it’s not enough. 

He hears about Technoblade accidentally destroying part of the temple during his lessons. People chalk it up to the power of the avatar state, and they swap rumors about how strong it must be, when in action. 

He goes to Tommy’s fighting matches and cheers until his throat goes sore. He visits Phil at work, where he’s building up beautiful looking buildings that reach up towards the sky. Phil visits him at the training grounds. They sometimes practice their waterbending together. It’s never enough. 

He hears about the avatar, hears about the rumors of his strong connection with the avatar state, with his past lives, with the elements, and he freezes the radio solid in the morning. Tommy complains about it loudly over his breakfast, claiming he was listening to that. 

Wilbur doesn’t care. 

Nothing is enough. 

Nothing is working. 

He is at a standstill, he cannot move on, he feels shackled in place and he doesn’t know why.  

It feels like something is missing from his life, and whenever he thinks about what it might be, he turns his head away. Even if he knows what it is, he can’t get it. He can’t go after him. 

The avatar is not coming home. 

Wilbur continues dreaming. They’re something to look forward to, these days. Before, he found it bitter, but now there’s comfort to be found in what little he’s got. 

He dreams of happier times, of rolling down snowy hills with Phil calling out two names. But when he wakes up, his room is quiet and warm. Lonely.

It always makes him sick.

Wilbur doesn’t go to the next visit to the temple. Phil insists and Tommy pushes, but Wilbur says again and again that he has something important to do with his students, and he can always see Techno next month. 

They eventually let him go. 

Wilbur doesn’t even have any students that day. He practices alone, thinking of the avatar. Thinking of his impact upon the radio and his name in the newspapers. 

His reflection staring back in the puddles of water will always look like him. Wilbur has a passing thought of doing something to change that, but he decides against it. He cannot have Technoblade as his brother again, but he can have this, his face, their connection, no matter how severed. 

It is never going to be enough. All that they are now is broken dreams and matching stares. 

But it is all Wilbur can have. 

So he deals with it. 

But he begins having nightmares. 

The dreams from before, with sweet memories and images of his own face, it turns sour.

They become vivid, with booming, echoing voices asking him things that he doesn’t understand. There are demands being shouted, then disappointments being whispered, and he feels like he’s being crushed whole. He can’t breathe. Can’t move. 

Then Wilbur is home. 

Not at the city. Not in the apartment. 

He’s in their little house in the village. It is half rubble, just like that day. Phil is screaming, and Wilbur swears it’s so similar to how Tommy had cried in his arms when they hid away in the closet. 

He sees himself, standing in the destruction, staring down at the debris. It is like a strange reflection in the mirror, but then that reflection looks up, and there are glowing white eyes staring back. 

Only when Wil wakes up does he realize that the reflection was not a reflection at all. It was wrong. Different, just barely. 

It was Technoblade.

But that’s strange, though. Techno’s hair is longer than that, isn’t it? 

One day, Wilbur gets a visitor. 

The training grounds are empty at this time. Wilbur gets specific permission to practice privately during these hours. The sun is warm through the open windows and doors, and when he hears footsteps behind him, he assumes it’s a student who’s wandered in. 

“You know that training doesn’t start for another hour.” Wilbur scolds lightly, stretching water through the air. 

“...I don’t really think I’d need the training.” 

The water hits the floor, splashing at his feet. Wilbur spins around with wide eyes, and he finds the avatar at the doorway, a hood over his head and a hesitant smile on his face. 

His hair is short. 

It looks like Wil’s.

He looks like Wil. 

Wilbur bites back a feeling of relief. Why should he be relieved? He turns back to the water on the ground. He neatly directs it back into a basin. 

“Hello.” He greets with a short bow, not sure what else to say. If he tries anything else, he’s going to spill it all out. 

“Hi.” Techno responds, and he walks in further. Wilbur is very tempted to send him flying out the door with a burst of water. Although, he supposes Techno would just redirect that. Hm. “What’re you doing?” 

“Well, I was practicing my waterbending.” Wilbur keeps his eyes away as Technoblade walks up to his side. “But now I’m devoting my time to the presence of the avatar.” He tries to not make that sound bitter. It does not work. 

“I’m not the avatar right now.” Technoblade says quietly, like it’s a secret. “I’m just your brother.” 

Wilbur freezes. 

He turns his head to Techno, and Technoblade blinks back with an unsure face, almost like he’s scared that he said the wrong thing. Maybe Wilbur’s wearing a cruel face. It’d be fitting, considering how much he hurts at hearing such a sentence like that. 

“I thought that your visit into the city wasn’t for another two months.” Wilbur says slowly, tilting his head to the side. It’s an unspoken question. 

“It’s…” Technoblade nods. “You’re right.” His eyes drift towards the floor. 

He looks- a little guilty. 

Wilbur pauses, then straightens up with a sudden realization. A cold feeling runs down his back. “You’re not supposed to be here.” He says. 

Techno-- that goddamned idiot, he smiles. Grins, with the same toothy grin that Wilbur knows from childhood. “Uh, no.” 

“Technoblade.” Wilbur whispers, like anyone is going to listen in. They’re alone in here. He steps away, holding his hands to his head. He begins pacing. “Oh my gods, Techno-” 

The avatar left the temple. Technoblade left his temple, the place where he’s supposed to be, and who knows what the consequences of that are. 

Technoblade has never just left, he’s not allowed to, it’s detrimental to his safety, to the avatar’s safety, that he stays with his teachers until he’s deemed strong enough to be on his own. 

So why would he ever leave? 

No, Wilbur doesn’t want to know why. 

“Hey, it’s not that bad.” Technoblade holds his palms up, taking a step forward. 

“They’re going to think you were fucking kidnapped!” Wilbur yells. The place could be put on lockdown right now, or anything drastic along those lines. Wilbur knows how important the avatar is. He’s so very important. So very needed. The world will fall into chaos if they find out he’s snuck off to go see Wil.

“I left a note.” Technoblade tells. 

“Oh, that’s reassuring.” Wilbur responds sarcastically, and Technoblade snorts. “No, no, I don’t want to be caught up in this, I don’t want to deal with this-” He can’t stand that face. He can’t have this stupid little moment, because he can’t keep this, he can’t-

Wilbur walks away towards the other side of the room, quickly taking a small amount of water and maneuvering it through the air, freezing it into simple little shapes. Techno follows at his heels, because he’s an idiot and Wilbur can’t get rid of him despite his best efforts. (But honestly, are these efforts even his best?)

“Do you practice your waterbending here?” Technoblade asks, sounding so much more real than he ever did in that damned temple. He sounds honestly curious. 

Wilbur freezes the water into a spiky little ball. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” He reminds. “Get out.”

“It’s a nice place.” 

“You can’t be here.” Wilbur insists, and he melts the ice back into water. “Don’t you have lessons? Things to practice?” 

“I always do.” Techno mutters, and he sounds tired by it. Wilbur feels a hint of pity. He shoves it down as soon as it comes. “But I wanted to…talk…with you.” 

“You couldn’t wait till next month?” 

“I wanted to talk somewhere where we weren’t being watched.” Techno rephrases, and that makes Wilbur pause. “My teachers are always listening in on our conversations. They say I shouldn’t be making too much of an attachment with you guys, so I usually have to watch what I say.” 

He-

He sounds so bitter. Like he wanted to say more, all that time. Like, maybe, just maybe- Wilbur could’ve had a chance. 

Wil closes his eyes, sending the water back to where it belongs. He takes a deep breath in. 

“Well, I don’t want to hear it. Go.”

Techno narrows his eyes with a slight frown.

“Wilbur.” He tries.

“I don't know what you’re trying, but I told you I don’t want a part of it. Go.”

“I just want to know-” 

“Go back to your temple.” Wilbur says slowly, turning his head over his shoulder. “Go back to your lessons. Go back to being the avatar, you are not supposed to be here!” Wilbur screams, turning to Techno and taking steps towards him with each sentence. He sounds shrill. He sounds desperate. “Get out!” 

Technoblade stumbles backwards and stares at him with wide eyes, but then he stops. The surprise melts away into a stony expression, perfectly controlled. 

It’s not blank. That look is anything but blank, it’s teeming with a carefully held back emotion. 

Wilbur wonders how long it’s been building up. His twin almost looks vicious, with that gleam in his eyes. It’s nearly unsettling. 

“Okay.” Technoblade nods. He’s frustratingly calm. “Okay, Wil. Thank you for your time.” 

Wilbur nods back. He blinks quickly and sucks in a deep breath, and watches his brother bow respectfully, then walk away, out the doors. 

A minute later, it is as if he was never there, and it was all in Wil’s head. 

Except all the water laying around nearby has now been frozen solid. He works on melting it down, and doesn’t look towards the door. He pretends like there is no regret sinking into his skin. He hopes things will go back to the way it was. 

But it does not. 

The radio, the newspapers, the people, they all burst with a newfound panic. New stories come out by the minute, gossip tears through the street at an alarming pace, and crime jumps up to the point that Wilbur avoids the roads at night. 

The avatar is missing from the temple. He did not return after he went to visit Wil. 

A day passes after Wilbur first saw him. The radio goes on and on about the effects of a lost avatar, this being a sign, a bad omen for the world, and the interviewers come rushing in, trying to see what the avatar’s family have to say about it all.

Phil won’t let them in. He lets Tommy skip school, and tells Wilbur to stay home. He cooks dinner with a humming song in his voice, and waltzes around the house with a little smile on his face. One of his sons is apparently missing, but he doesn’t look too concerned. 

He looks happier than usual. He’s more affectionate than usual. He hugs Tommy close and kisses Wilbur upon the forehead, and Wil stares at him with a suspicious squint, knowing that his father is up to something. He can't get himself to ask, though. 

Wil doesn’t go to sleep that night. He stays up in his room, watching the minutes tick by. Eventually, he hears the quiet creak of someone heading down the hall. A low murmuring of voices. Phil’s gentle wheeze. 

He moves out of bed, and leaves his room. The hallway is dark, and he could hide by the corner and listen in, but he refuses to. Instead, he just walks right towards the light, into the living room. 

Technoblade is sitting on their couch.

There’s a bowl of dinner in his hands, steaming hot. When he looks up, his face falls away from a smile, and he looks like a deer in headlights. Phil turns at seeing the sudden shift. 

“Wil.” Phil says softly. He’s surprised, but not guilty. He holds a hand out, his smile slowly coming back. “You’re up late.” 

“What is he doing here?” Wilbur asks. He doesn’t take a single step towards Phil’s outstretched hand. 

“Can’t a guy eat dinner in his own living room?” Technoblade asks back, and Wilbur scoffs. 

“This isn’t your living room.” Wilbur mutters. “This isn’t even your home.” He adds, a touch more quietly, and Techno’s face goes strained, his lip curling into a frown. 

“Wil.” Phil says, a near scolding, but Wilbur doesn’t lower his look. Techno puts his bowl to the side, and stands to his feet, never even breaking eye contact. They stand there with a locked gaze, the tension rocketing up into something thick. 

“Techno. Boys.” Phil tries to break it. He grabs onto Techno’s sleeve. “Don’t you dare wake up Tommy.” 

“Get out.” Wilbur hisses, keeping his voice low. 

“Why?” Technoblade drawls. He makes his way around the couch, easily pulling away from Phil. Phil clicks his tongue, shaking his head in a warning. “You’re not exactly busy with anything.”

“But you’re not supposed to be here.” Wil lifts a hand to gesture towards his home. “Have you not heard the fucking news? The radio, the current newspapers-?” 

“I’ve heard it.” Techno shrugs. “I just don’t really care.” 

Wilbur bites down on the inside of his cheek, frustrated with how smoothly those words are said. How could he not care? How could he act as if this avatar business is not his whole life? Is that not the reason he was gone for all this time? Didn’t he choose that over-

Wil bites his tongue. He knows at the back of his head that he’s being too bitter. His stomach twists with nerves as Technoblade steps towards him and he steps back, a ripple of guilt running down his spine. 

“Dad.” Wilbur calls, looking away. His heart grows heavy. He can’t look at that face. “He’s not supposed to be here.” 

“He’s not going to kick me out.” Techno huffs, crossing his arms. 

“I don’t know, I might think about it.” Phil jokes. Technoblade gives him a betrayed look. 

“Dad.” Wilbur insists. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Phil grins, and he doesn’t look sorry at all. He stands up from the couch. “I’m just kidding. I know you might be worried.” 

“I’m not worried. I just want him out.” Wilbur points to Technoblade, like he’s some sort of disease. “He’s supposed to be at the temple. Do you know how much shit we’ll get into if they find out you’re hiding him here?” 

“No one’s going to find out.” Phil reassures, holding his hands out. He pats Techno on the shoulder. “Technoblade, sit down. Finish your dinner.” 

Techno turns to Phil with a frown. “But-”

“He’s not going to talk with you, mate. Don’t push it. Go eat.” 

Technoblade stares at him, then gives an exaggerated sigh and moves back to the couch, sitting down and picking up his bowl again. It steams as he holds it within his palms, and only now does Wilbur realize he must be using his firebending to keep it hot. 

“Wil, come talk with me?” Phil asks, holding a hand out and nodding down the hall. “Just for a second.” 

Wilbur goes with, but he doesn’t take the hand. Phil doesn’t mind. They move towards his bedroom, and as soon as the door clicks shut, Wilbur turns to his dad and lets his words flow freely. 

“This is bad fucking idea.” Wilbur swears. “You should not be hiding him here. He’s not even supposed to be here.” 

Phil crosses his arms across his chest and leans back against the door. “And where is he supposed to be?” He raises his eyebrows.

“The temple. With his teachers? Training? Learning?”

Phil shakes his head. “That’s not his place.” 

“Yes it is! He’s the avatar, for god’s sake!” Wilbur throws his hands up. “Literally every radio station has been reporting him missing and calling a state of emergency over the future state of the world, and you’re saying he’s meant to be on our couch eating leftovers?!”

“He is the avatar. But he’s your brother too, Wilbur.” Phil reminds, and Wil freezes still. “You talk like you’ve forgotten. That’s not a stranger in our living room. He’s my son.” 

“I’m your son.” 

“You are. Nothing is going to change that.”

“No, listen, I’m your son. Tommy’s your son. But he- he doesn’t count. He’s the avatar.” 

Phil blinks. He drops his arms, tilting his head to the side in thought. “He’s still family.” He says slowly. When Wilbur’s frown doesn’t budge, he takes a step closer and talks a bit more sternly. “Wilbur. He is family. He may be the avatar, but he is still family. Those are not two exclusive things.”

“They might as well be.” Wilbur whispers. “He can’t be my brother and the avatar at the same time.”

Phil’s look goes soft. “He can.” His voice takes on something unrelenting. “He’s going to. He’s not going back to that temple.” He holds a hand out, grabbing on lightly to Wilbur’s arm. “I know you might be worried about the consequences of that, but I can assure you, I’ve planned this for a while. He’s not going to stay here, he’s actually just visiting for the night. I have people around the city who’s going to hide him until things calm down enough so we can do something.” 

Wilbur falters with the certainty in Phil’s voice. “Do something?” He repeats. 

“Against the temple. And all the people responsible for this.” Phil promises, a trace of anger running through his words, and Wilbur feels his heart squeeze. He looks away. “I’m trying to keep him home, Wil.” 

Keep him home. 

So his brother visiting him before- the avatar having walked into his training grounds- that was him coming home? Was that was him returning?

That’s not what’s meant to happen. The avatar is not coming home. Technoblade is not coming back. 

Wilbur can’t have him back, he’s come to terms with that already. 

“You’re lying.” He whispers, and when his voice cracks from emotion, Phil moves forward to hold him close. “You’re lying to me-” 

“Oh, Wilbur.” Phil shushes him, hugging him tight. “I’m sorry it took so long. I should’ve told you about it all, but everything was so fragile, and I couldn’t risk it. Those people listen in a lot more often than you think.” Wilbur blinks, his hands hovering over the back of Phil’s shirt. “I wanted you to stay safe. I couldn’t have them possibly going after you or Tommy.”  Phil pulls back, holding Wilbur’s face in his palms. “But now I’ve got it all in place. I've got him. Technoblade is staying home. He’s going to stay near, and I won’t let them take him again.” 

“No.” Wilbur says. “He can’t- He can’t stay. What about- everything? Everyone? The avatar-”

Phil laughs. It’s so bitter, and Wil is reminded of that quiet anger from when he was young, his father burning with it for weeks after Techno was taken. “I don’t care about that. I’ve never cared about that. All I want is for you three to be safe and happy. The world can go on, hasn’t it been fine for the entire time Techno’s been cooped up in that temple?” 

“It- It has.” Wilbur swallows. “But-” He can’t get the words out. His hands are shaking. Phil’s wiping at his eyes for him. 

“It’ll be taken care of. We’re going to be just fine.” He breathes in deep, letting out a sigh that’s only fond. Wilbur blinks tears out from his vision. “Techno’s going to visit every night at midnight, sharp. He’ll leave before the sun comes up. You don’t have to talk to him, but we’re going to tell Tommy tomorrow night. You can join if you want. You can eat a late night dinner with us.” Phil cracks a grin.

Like a family, Wilbur wants to joke to him. Like a big happy family that was never torn apart by the stupid thing called fate. 

(It was really never fate, though, now was it? It wasn’t destiny or a set path that tore Techno away from him that day so many years ago. It was men thinking they knew better. People who thought the avatar needed to be molded. Used.)

“I can’t.” Wilbur confesses. “I can’t- I don’t know how to talk to him.”

Phil hugs him again. “That’s alright.” He reassures. “It’s alright. He’ll be there either way. He’s going to be here.”

Wilbur hides his face away into his father’s shoulder. He wonders if his brother is truly home, or if he's just dreaming. 

Wilbur can hear Tommy through the walls in the night after that. 

He hears the way he screams with surprise, and the way Phil and Techno then frantically try to shush him so he won’t make too much noise. They chat away in the living room, and Wilbur hears his brothers’ voices echo away in his ears. 

He falls asleep to the sound of their laughter, and wakes up to his blanket being shifted over his chest. Phil’s snuck into his room, and he hovers over Wil with a careful hand.

“Mhm?” Wil blinks his eyes open. 

“Just checking in.” Phil smiles, and it’s softer than what Wil’s ever seen. He looks- content. “Techno’s about to leave, if you want to say bye.” 

Wilbur listens out for Technoblade’s voice. He can hear it just barely, a murmur against Tommy’s harsh whispers. His heart aches more than anything. But he can’t bring himself to leave the bed.

“Say bye for me.” Wilbur offers instead, and he turns on his side, drifting back to sleep. There’s a gaping hole in his chest, and it screams for comfort.

“Will do.” Phil promises, and he presses a goodnight kiss to Wil’s head, then leaves. 

Technoblade’s voice reaches Wilbur through the door. Wilbur closes his eyes and despite everything, feels at peace.

Wilbur dreams of Techno that night. He dreams of glowing eyes and his name being called, over and over and over again. There’s wind whipping around his head, pushing his hair every which way. Everything is so very bright, and yet so dark. He's being torn apart, and put back together. 

He wakes up to the smell of breakfast, and the sound of Tommy happily rambling away to Phil in the kitchen. The place is livelier. Brighter, somehow. Techno is not even here, but just with the promise of him returning, it seems to fill in that gap for him. 

Wilbur hovers in the living room with a tired yawn, and hears the radio in the kitchen make a strange, staticky noise. It beeps, three little notes with a background of silence, then it bleeds back into it's usual noise.

Phil’s hand immediately goes to shut it off, letting the kitchen go quiet. 

“What's with the radio?” Tommy asks, seeming worried that it's become broken. Phil’s expression looks unusually solemn. 

“Both of you go into your rooms.” He says, lifting his gaze to look up at Wil. Wilbur blinks slowly with confusion, and feels it melt into concern. 

“What?”

“Tommy.” Phil calls. “Mate, pick up your food. Go into your room for a bit, yeah? We’re about to get visitors.” 

Wilbur doesn't listen right away, and instead moves to the window with an ignited curiosity. He looks out into the street, and finds an unfamiliar car parked before their building. There’s a strange symbol painted on the side of it. Wilbur remembers it from the same temple that Techno trained at.  

“Wait.” Wilbur’s heart fills with dread, and he steps back, still having one unanswered question. “Why did the radio-?"

“A friend. Let’s take their warning and use it, come on.” Phil answers, and he pushes Wilbur along into the hall, Tommy scurrying away past him with a plate of breakfast. “Wil, you want to grab something to eat real quick?”

“Uh.” Wilbur looks to the door. Looks at Phil’s carefully calm face. “I can wait.” 

“Okay. It’ll be quick, just stay in your room. Both of you.” Phil points a finger down the hall as Wilbur returns to his bedroom. Tommy’s sitting in his bed as he walks in. 

Wilbur huffs. “Aren’t you supposed to be in your own room?”

Tommy makes a vague unconcerned noise, shrugging his shoulders. His food sits in his lap as he fiddles around with his fork. 

A loud knock sounds out through their home. Both Wil and Tommy tense up. 

“Oh shit.” Tommy drops his fork. “Close the door, close it-” 

Wilbur shuts his door, feeling his heartbeat pace into something panicked. He strains his ears and hears Phil’s voice murmur through the walls, clearly talking to someone at the doorway.

Wil knows who it is. 

It didn’t all take long for the temple to search them for Techno, did it? No wonder Phil made sure Technoblade wasn’t staying with them. They’d be the first suspects, family and all. 

Wilbur remembers how Technoblade visited him only two days ago. He worries if someone saw him then. Saw both of them. 

“What are they saying?” Tommy whispers, his food put to the side as he leans forward with interest. Wilbur glances back at him, then tries to listen again. 

He flinches back. Phil is screaming. They both can hear it clearly through this door. 

“-what you’re telling me is you’ve truly lost my son with no idea of where he’s gone! You said he was protected, you said he would be safe there under your watch- DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!”

Tommy smothers a snort behind his palm, amused at having the strangers get lectured to hell and back. Wilbur steps away from the door, turning his back to the raised voices on the other side. 

“GET OUT OF MY HOME! GET OUT!” 

Phil sounds furious. Devastated. If Wil did not know any better, he’d think that his father has truly lost something precious. 

The front door slams shut not a minute later. Tommy jumps off Wil’s bed and goes to meet Phil in the hallway. Phil smiles at them both with relief, and Wilbur isn’t sure how to feel about it. 

“That’ll keep them off for a while.” Phil tells them, before hugging them close. “I don’t think I need to tell you both to keep quiet about who comes here at night, do I?” 

Wilbur nods. Tommy nods with him. 

The world feels softer than it did a week beforehand. 

The night visits go on. Wilbur keeps falling asleep to Techno’s voice. To his family talking during the night. 

Tommy is always a little too loud, a little too excited. Phil and Techno shush him often, but they eventually give up and let him talk away. Technoblade speaks gently, but his words carry through either way, and while Wilbur can’t make them out, he knows that they’re there. That Techno is there. Phil speaks in whispers, more often than not. He is a hushed noise that Wilbur barely ever catches, but Wilbur always knows where he is regardless. 

Phil checks in on Wilbur every night. He tells him goodnight and offers him a chance to say goodbye to Techno, and Wil declines each and every time. He sleeps away the night, and tries to pretend that the avatar is not regularly eating meals in their living room. He sleeps away the night, and tries to act like his family is not hiding a runaway avatar. 

The news slowly dies down. Not enough for it to be safe, but enough for Wilbur to realize that eventually, this could settle. This could be permanent. 

One day, Technoblade might spend his night here and wake up in the morning to join them for breakfast. That thought is bittersweet. Wilbur can’t help but think about it. 

Wilbur wakes up to a knock on his door one night. He assumes it's Phil, and waits for his dad to come in, but instead, there’s a different face poking their head in. 

“Uh.” Technoblade looks sheepish as he peeks inside, and Wilbur stares at him from his bed, feeling a burst of anger, despair and frustration rise up, before having it all fall and be replaced with exhaustion. He blinks blearily at his brother and sits up with a yawn. 

“Hi.” Techno greets, voice quiet. He looks nervous, hovering by the doorway. 

“...Hi.” Wilbur greets back. He’s not sure what he’s meant to say. Something in him wants to reach a hand out. 

“Techno!” Phil calls out, and he appears right beside Technoblade, looking stern. “Let him sleep, mate.” 

“I was just trying to-” Technoblade tries to defend, but Phil narrows his eyes, and he closes his mouth. “I wanted to talk to him.” 

“He’ll talk when he wants to talk.” Phil says, giving Wilbur a meaningful glance. 

“I can talk.” Wilbur says, his traitorous mouth moving before he thinks. He’s still half-asleep. He did not think that decision through. “For a minute.” 

“I kinda wanted more than a minute…” Technoblade mutters, and Phil sighs. 

“Well, just say goodnight to him, why don’t you? Then let him get back to sleep. I’ll finish up dinner.” He pats Techno on the shoulder, and then leaves him there, letting Wilbur fend for himself in his bad life choices. 

Technoblade watches his dad walk away, and then turns to Wilbur. He glances around the room, and leans forward, not quite taking a step, but acting as if he means to. 

“Can I…come in?” He asks. Wilbur wants to throw a pillow at him. Wants to scream and cry and ask why he didn’t come back sooner. He gives a vague hand gesture instead, flopping back onto his bed. 

“Sure.” 

Technoblade hesitates before taking the answer, but he takes it regardless. He comes in and leaves the door ajar, walking through the room like there might be traps underneath his feet. Wilbur squints at him with a slight annoyance, already feeling drowsy again. 

“What did you want to say?” Wilbur asks, staring up at the ceiling when the sight of Techno in his room becomes too much. 

“I wanted to ask something, actually.” Techno answers. “But now I’m thinking this... might not be the best time.” 

“Hmm.” Wilbur turns his head. “Probably not.” 

Technoblade gives a slight smile. “Mind if I talk anyway?” 

“Be my guest.” Give your voice, he wants to say. It’s been letting me sleep easier than I ever could’ve imagined. 

“Okay.” Techno goes to sit on the ground beside Wilbur’s bed, and Wil stares at him with an air of confusion, before just accepting that as is. “I guess I could explain some stuff, while I’m here. How much did dad tell you about what’s been going on?”

Wilbur blinks. It’s so strange hearing the word dad from Techno’s mouth. It makes it feel as if they are brothers at this moment, his twin keeping him awake at the dead of night. 

He shrugs. Techno hums. 

“Alright. I’ll start from where I can, then.” He taps at his chin, thinking for a second. “It started with the letters, I’m pretty sure. It wasn’t long after you guys were first allowed to visit. Dad slipped a paper into my shirt during one of his hugs, and I found it later that night.” 

"What?" A hint of surprise flows through Wil. “What did it say?” 

“Uh.” Technoblade tilts his head. “Lots of things. Mostly apologies, I think. He mentioned that he knew that my teachers were probably listening in, so he wanted to try communicating like that. So I wrote a letter in return, and gave it to him during the next visit.” 

Wilbur blinks slowly with a realization settling into his head. Phil’s been trying to get him back for all that time? He’s been working with Techno, he hadn’t just been sitting to the side, content with what little he got. He was being careful, wary around the men who tore his son away. 

“We talked like that for a while. He said he wanted me to leave the temple, but I got it into my head that I needed to complete my lessons first before ever trying anything. I wanted to master being the avatar.” 

“And did you?” Wilbur asks, sounding almost bored. “Did you master being the avatar?”

Techno smiles. “No. I didn’t. I guess that’s why I left. It wasn’t for me, you know?”

Wilbur scoffs lightly, closing his eyes. Idiot. 

“I can’t access the avatar state, so…” 

He opens his eyes at that. The world tries to drift away, but he holds out, now caught in intrigue. “What?” He murmurs. 

“I couldn’t do it. I can’t do it. My teachers have tried everything, but I never quite got it. I have a theory as to why-” 

Wilbur closes his eyes again, not through choice. His eyelids are too heavy, and he pulls them open again. 

“But I don’t think now’s the best time, huh?” 

“...I want to know.” Wilbur insists. 

“You’re going to fall asleep on me.” 

“I’m not. I’m listening.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm.” 

Techno huffs. Wilbur’s eyes slip shut again. 

“Okay. Here’s my theory. I can’t access the avatar state because I’m missing something. My bending is fairly impressive on its own, but there’s something lacking. I know it. I can’t get farther, no matter how much I try. I thought at first that maybe…” 

Techno’s voice fades out. Wilbur falls to sleep, and his heart feels full. It’s a strange feeling.   

He leaves his room the night after that. 

Techno’s sitting on the couch, splayed out like he belongs there, and Tommy’s sitting on the floor beside him, chattering away about his friends. Phil’s in the kitchen, tending to dinner, and Wilbur stands by the hallway, listening to them talk. 

“-but Ranboo doesn’t know how to drive, right? So Tubbo took the keys instead and was like move over, bitch, and he sat in the driver's seat instead. Except, the seat was all funny, because Ranboo is tall as fuck, and he had to adjust the thing all the way up to even reach the pedals-” 

“Are you seriously telling him about the stolen car story?” Wilbur interrupts, and Tommy and Techno snap their heads over, Techno’s eyes going wide. Tommy gasps with offense. 

“It wasn’t stolen, Wil! It was borrowed, borrowed, we gave it back.” 

“Sure, with two of the doors missing.” 

Technoblade hides a snort behind his hand, and Wilbur smiles, leaning onto the back of the couch as Tommy sputters at him. 

“Oy, fuck you. It’s not my fault Tubbo has no concept of road safety.” Tommy huffs. “Why are you awake, anyway? You’re usually sleeping.” 

“I wanted to eat.” Wil answers breezily, trying to not make it sound important. “What’s Dad making?” He asks Techno, and Technoblade shrugs.

“Chicken?” He guesses. 

“Duck.” Tommy corrects. “He wanted to try making duck again.” 

“Didn’t he burn it last time?” Wilbur asks. 

“Did he?” Techno questions, looking slightly concerned. 

“Are you slandering my cooking skills?” Phil asks, and they all look towards the kitchen, seeing Phil poking his head out from the doorway. “I swear last time was a one time thing.” 

“That duck deserved so much better.” Tommy mutters, holding a hand above his eyebrow in mock salute. “May it live in peace, burnt to ash.” 

“If I remember right, you ate it happily anyway.” 

“I was hungry!” 

Technoblade laughs. Tommy laughs with him, and Wilbur feels light. Dazed. He blinks quickly to try and ground himself, and can’t stop the way a smile settles onto his face. 

“Alright, come on.” Phil calls, heading back into the kitchen. “I’m pretty much done, come sit!” 

They move from the living room to the kitchen table, taking their spots on their chairs. Phil sets out plate after plate, the food still steaming hot, and Techno sends a small gust of wind across his own meal to help cool it down. 

“Do mine, do mine.” Tommy insists, pushing his plate over. Techno does so without complaint, and then sends a burst of air into Tommy’s face. The teen shrieks. 

“Technoblade.” Phil scolds lightly, sitting in his seat as Wilbur chuckles at Tommy trying to fix his hair. He feels so fond. He feels as if he’s going to break apart into a thousand pieces. He feels-

He slides his plate closer to him and sneaks a glance towards his twin. Techno is looking back, and for a second, they meet eyes. Wilbur firmly then keeps his attention onto his meal from then on, wanting to shrink and turn into a pebble. 

“Here's hoping everything tastes good.” Phil says, passing a napkin over to Tommy. “I tried my best.” 

“It’s always good, Dad.” Techno reassures, and Wilbur shoves a piece of food into his mouth, not wanting to have any sort of response slip out. He presses one hand against the wood of the table and curls the other tightly around his fork. 

Phil gives a warm smile. Wilbur’s heart twists into an uncomfortable knot. “I’m glad.” He says, and Tommy makes a little laugh. “I’m so glad.” He repeats, much softer. 

“Getting a bit sentimental there.” Technoblade warns, and Phil scoffs, looking away while quickly patting a napkin to his eyes. 

“Sue me.” He says. Wilbur chews slowly, taking another large mouthful before putting his fork down. “I’m allowed a bit of sentimentality. It’s a family dinner.” 

“The gang’s all here.” Tommy says lightheartedly, and Phil grins. “Wilbur’s not snoring away for once.”

“In his defense, this dinner is hardly at a reasonable time.” Techno points out. He gives a fond look towards Wilbur, and Wil feels stuck in place at the sight of it. He watches his twin’s face slowly shift into a quiet concern. 

“It’s perfect either way.” Phil says, not yet noticing the way Wilbur’s sitting too stiffly in his chair. “Wilbur-” He looks up, then pauses. “Wil?” 

Wil flicks his eyes over to his father. He swallows again despite now having nothing in his mouth. He tastes bitterness. His stomach is unsteady with the food. 

“I-I-” He opens his mouth, and then closes it upon stammering. His heart aches, like a stabbing pain, and he’s reminded again and again what sort of picture he is sitting in right now. Here they are, being a complete happy family for once. Wilbur wants to keep it. Wants to enjoy it so bad that it hurts. 

But there is something else wanting to lash out from underneath his chest. It wants to scream, to cry, to burn the place to the ground, until it is nothing but ashes.  

It wants to demand why they all get to act like everything is okay when he hasn’t been okay in years. It wants to wail out in despair, asking for a reason as to why this was ever taken from him. It wants to tear the world apart with anger and frustration, and it wants a promise for his twin to never leave him ever again. 

“Wilbur.” Technoblade says, and there’s something in his tone that makes Wilbur come back to himself. It’s tense, hesitant, and Wil turns his eyes back over to his brother, scared of what that means. 

“Sorry. Sorry, I-” He goes to speak, to compose himself, but then he stops. 

The room has gone still. 

Both Tommy and Phil are now staring at him as well, and Wil’s stomach twists. He sits up straight in his chair, throat tight. The feeling in his chest burns more than it ever has before.

“Wil.” Techno repeats, and it sounds choked out. 

Wilbur finally notices that they are not staring directly at him, but rather, at his hand. 

He looks down. Doesn’t find anything out of place, at first. But then he notices something underneath his palm, the wooden color of the table having turned black. He lifts his hand up, a sliver of confusion upon his mind. 

There, where his palm was just a second prior, there’s a rough burn mark in the shape of his hand. As if he made it. As if he made fire and held it to the wood. 

Wilbur stares at it with dread sinking straight through his ribs. It slips down into his heart, and shifts into outright fear. He jerks his arm away, but that won’t undo it. 

He burnt the table.

He’s burnt the goddamn table. 

He looks up with a soft gasp, and he notices the way Phil glances at Techno, sharing a meaningful look with him. Tommy makes a strangled noise. 

“You’re a waterbender.” Tommy says, eyes wide with his fork falling out from his grip, right onto his food. “Wilbur, you’re a fucking waterbender-” He repeats, like the very universe needs to be reminded. 

“I didn’t-” Wil goes to deny, but how does one deny such obvious evidence? He tries to rub at the mark. All it does is smear the soot left behind. "No, no, I didn't-"

“-you just burnt the table with your hand -” Tommy continues, his tone growing more shrill by the word. 

“Tommy.” Phil says, and Wilbur gets up from his seat, his chair screeching back. Technoblade gets up with him, his chair nearly falling back.  

“Wil, hold on-” Phil tries to speak. 

“I’m going to bed!” Wilbur announces, and he runs out from the kitchen, crossing the living room and making a beeline straight to his room. Technoblade follows right at his heels. 

“Wilbur!” He calls. Wil ignores him. He ignores Phil calling right after Techno. He even ignores Tommy’s panicked yelling from the kitchen, the start of a sudden impossible realization. 

Wilbur escapes into his room and slams the door behind him, sucking in a desperate gasp. He hears a frantic knocking just as he turns the lock shut, and he presses his back against the wood in an effort to make sure it’ll stay closed. 

“Wil!” Technoblade yells. “Wilbur!” 

"Go away!" Wil screams, trembling in every limb, and slowly, with his back kept to the door, he slides down onto the ground, sinking into the floor and wishing that the carpet would just swallow him up. He takes in short, quick breathes, and stares up at the ceiling, eyes wide. This isn't real. 

“Listen, it’s okay, we can just-” Technoblade knocks again, loud and insistent. Phil is whispering beside him, and Wil can’t make out what he’s saying. The world feels fuzzy within his gaze. This can't be possible. “No, Dad, I’m not- Wilbur, open this door!”

“Shit, shit, shit.” Wilbur murmurs, closing his eyes and trying to calm his racing heart. He can’t breathe. He tries to breath deeply, but he’s going too fast. His head feels light. This can't be real, it can't be. “Fuck.” He's dreaming!

“Wilbur!” Techno's voice calls, too vivid to be a dream. 

Wil holds his hands up to his face, staring at his trembling palms, trying to find a reason or some sort of evidence that he's a firebender. He curls them into fists, trying to find a hint of sparks. They’re warm, unusually so, and the mere sensation of it scares him. He puts his hands back down, and hits the back of his head against the door. His chest heaves with the need for air. 

“No, no-” Wilbur mutters. He is dreaming. This is yet another dream, one that doesn’t make sense, one that always has his brother. That’s the only explanation that will make sense. 

Because Wilbur is a waterbender. He does not make fire in moments of fury, he does not burn the things around him when his heart grows too strong. He is not like all those stories he's heard in the city, the occasional young firebender nearly burning down a building because they couldn't control their mood. 

He is a waterbender. Nothing more. Nothing at all. 

“This isn’t happening. This can't be happening.” Wilbur says, and Techno can hear it from the other side. Wil thinks he might be on the ground as well. 

“Wil, I need to ask you something. Wilbur.” Technoblade knocks again. Phil speaks sternly, words muffled. “No, I’m not moving, I’m not- Go help Tommy or something!” A frustrated huff. “Wil? I swear it’s okay, I just need you to tell me something. Just one thing. Please talk to me.” 

Wilbur squeezes his eyes shut. He makes a pitiful noise, fear carving him from the inside out. He doesn’t want fire to be born from his skin. He doesn’t want fire to dance between his fingers, he doesn’t want the earth to listen to his every order, he doesn’t even want the song of the wind to dance freely across his ears. He doesn't want this. It's a repetition of all those years before, his twin smiling at him, telling him he's finally got his bending, only to bring light to life in his hands. 

He wants to be a child again. An unimportant, nonbending child who still had his brother, and didn’t have the worry of the world looking down upon them both, asking responsibility from their existence. 

“Are you there?” Technoblade asks, and Wil digs his fingernails into the ground. 

“What.” Wilbur croaks out, lifting his chin up to the ceiling and feeling his skin crawl with a sudden chill. “What do you want?” He whines, his voice unsteady. 

“Have you been having dreams, Wilbur?” 

Wil pauses in place. 

The air in his lungs freeze still, and he stares up with wide eyes, shock tearing through him like the edge of a jagged knife. The hallway outside has gone quiet. Phil isn’t even saying anything anymore. Techno isn’t knocking. The sudden quiet is too much to bear. 

“I-I mean-” Techno stammers through his words. “Visions, more like. Of me, or of yourself? Have you-”

“Technoblade.” Phil says. He sounds like he’s giving a warning. Wilbur gasps in. 

“No, I have to know.”

“Techno.” Phil repeats. There is no negotiating in that voice. “Come on.” 

“No.” A shuffle. Wilbur’s face feels wet, and he touches his fingers to his face, his hand trembling against his cheek. Techno sounds near tears. “No, I need to- Please. Please, dad-” 

“This isn’t the time.” Wil pushes his hair out from his face. “You’re shaking. You’re both overwhelmed.” 

“Wilbur.” Technoblade pleads, sounding scared. Wilbur hasn’t heard him scared since they were young. “I need to know. You’ve been in my dreams, I have to know, have I been in yours?”

Wilbur chokes on a sob and yanks his hands into the air when he smells smoke. He looks down, and finds burn marks on the carpet. 

“Let’s go.” Phil says, voice soft. “Techno, come on, let’s go. You need to calm down.”

“I need Wilbur!” 

“Hey. Give him a minute.” A pause. “Tommy, can you come help him up? Wilbur, I’ll be back right now. I want to try talking with you, if you’re willing. If not, that’s alright.” 

“Dad.” Techno begs again. 

“Get up, mate, go on.” There’s the sound of someone moving off the ground, and Wilbur’s chest jolts with a sudden fear. 

His mind tells him he’s going to lose his twin all over again, that he’ll never get him back, and the terror is so gripping that he’s on his feet and yanking the door open before he even has time to think. 

Technoblade is leaning against Phil, his back to Wilbur. Tommy is in front of him with his hands held out, as if to steady him, and when he sees Wilbur open the door, he straightens up with a shocked face. Phil gives something similar, and Techno turns with eyes that look so damn hopeful. Alive. 

“Yes.” Wilbur grits out, furious, devastated and scared. Phil’s expression is filled with the look of realization, then disbelief. Technoblade stumbles, a look of near hysteria crossing his face-

“Yes.” Wilbur repeats, eyes closing shut as tears fall down his face. “I’ve had them for months, I don’t know why, but-” 

“Technoblade!” Phil yells, and Wilbur snaps his eyes open as he’s tackled backwards, his twin’s arms wrapping around him and not letting go. They hit the floor with Tommy yelling over their heads, worried if they're both alright. 

Wilbur has a split second of shock at the close contact of it before then hugging his brother back too, a proper reunion that he’s wanted for years. He squeezes Techno tight, as tight as he can, crying into his hair. Technoblade shakes in a way that tells he might be crying too. 

The feeling from underneath Wilbur’s chest fizzles out with its anger, and it’s soothed with the satisfaction of having everything be right once more. 

Finally, it says, with the whisper of a thousand grieving souls. 

Finally.  

They break apart what feels like an eternity later. Phil wrangles them into the kitchen, back to the table so that they may have some semblance of control. He clears the food and makes a pot of tea. The smell of it is nice. Familiar. 

The presence beside him is somehow just as familiar as well. Wilbur wonders how he could’ve ever thought his twin could not be his brother. 

“Okay.” Phil sets down a cup of steaming hot tea in front of Wil. “We’ve got a couple hours until daybreak. We need to lay out what facts we know, so we're all on the same page. No screaming.” 

Technoblade curls his fingers around his own cup of tea. Tommy slurps loudly with his, a slight guilt on his shoulders. He was the one who was freaking out with the most noise. 

“First off.” Phil sits down, his chair creaking underneath him. “Technoblade is the avatar. We’ve all known that since he was young.” 

Technoblade narrows his eyes. His tea bubbles and boils in his grip. 

“And Wilbur was a waterbender.” Tommy adds on, putting his cup down carefully. 

“I still am.” Wilbur mutters. “That hasn’t changed.” 

Tommy makes an unsure noise. He eyes the handprint on the table. 

“Facts. Let’s stick on facts.” Phil insists. Wilbur slips his eyes shut, taking a deep breath of his tea. “As far as it’s known, there’s only ever one person who’s the avatar during each cycle. They’re reborn through every life, and kept together through the avatar state. For this cycle, they were reborn into the element of water, hence, Techno.” The way Phil says the words-- Wil wonders if he's researched about this with his brother. If he ever considered that Wilbur might be...

Technoblade hums in agreement in him. “And the avatar is assumed to be one soul. One life born right after the last one dies.” 

“If it’s one soul, then how the hell am I-” Wilbur cuts himself off, squeezing his cup tightly. “I’m not the avatar. But I keep- burning things.” 

“Have you ever firebended before?” Phil asks, looking surprised. 

“No!” Wil puts his cup down. “I mean- tonight. I’ve burnt the table. I burnt my floor. I keep boiling my fucking tea.” He looks down at his cup, noting the way the liquid keeps steaming away. 

“That’s going to be a fire hazard.” Tommy notes. “I guess it’s a good thing Dad’s a waterbender, then. He could put out the fires.”

“That’s not the point! I’m not meant to make any fire!” Wilbur snaps. His hands feel hot, emotions bubbling under his skin as wildly as the cup of tea in front of him. 

“Wil.” Phil reprimands. Tommy sips his drink, not at all bothered by the outburst. Techno decides to speak up then, picking up the subject again. 

“My teachers thought that I was born as the avatar alone. That I was all that got passed on. It would make sense, since that’s how all my- our past lives worked.” Wilbur’s heart drops. Tommy raises his eyebrows. Are they really going with this? “Although, for this life, we weren’t born alone.” 

“I don’t like this conversation.” Wilbur states outright. Tommy snorts into his tea. Phil smiles a little. “I hate it.” 

“But he’s right.” Phil agrees. “You are twins. It’s not out of the question that maybe that would affect something between you two.” 

Wilbur frowns, glancing up and making eye contact with Tommy. Tommy gives a giddy little grin, excited by the concept being placed down before them, and for a second, being the avatar too doesn’t sound so bad. 

“I told you once that I had a theory as to why I can’t access the avatar state. Do you remember that?” Techno asks, breaking Wilbur’s moment of fondness. He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat. 

Wilbur pauses. Blinks, turning his head to the side. “Vaguely?” 

“Well, you were falling asleep while I was saying it.”

“I was tired.” Wilbur huffs. 

Technoblade snorts. “Anyhow. I had a theory.” 

“You were lacking something, right? You were missing something, so you couldn’t progress without it.” Wilbur says, and as soon as he says those words aloud, it clicks. Tommy lights up like a student who’s eager to raise their hand, and Phil waves him down. 

Wilbur pushes his tea away. 

“Or, someone.” Techno says hesitantly. Wilbur winces. “If we’re twins, and we’re both the avatar, who’s to say we’re not just one soul split apart?”

“Don’t you think we would’ve noticed if that was the case?” Wilbur asks. 

“Didn’t you notice?” Technoblade gives as an answer. 

Wilbur presses his lips into a fine line. He remembers the years growing up, of nothing being enough. He assumes that could be explained as the loss of losing a sibling. Grief can be persevering like that. Digging in with everything it has, screaming for something to be returned to him. 

But maybe it was not just grief. 

“I might’ve.” Wilbur admits, speaking softly. “Once or twice. I felt like…” He trails off, and doesn’t finish. He stares at the handprint burnt into their table. 

Phil breathes in deep, before letting it out as a slow sigh. “You both should’ve never been separated. Techno shouldn’t have ever been taken for training. I doubt it really did him much good.” 

“I think…” Technoblade starts. “I think all they ever wanted from me was a weapon. The strength of the avatar behind them. They always said that what I did was going to be for the greater good, but that sentence really has lost its meaning after a few years. It never felt like I was doing good, I was just listening to what they told me to do. Until, well.”

“They’re all bullshit.” Tommy mutters, and Techno laughs softly, seeming tired. 

“Yeah. They really are.” He frowns, looking worried. “They’re...they're going to take Wilbur too, if they find this out.” 

“They’re not taking either of you.” Phil says, his words sharp. 

“They’re going to try.” Technoblade rephrases. 

“And they won’t succeed. You’ll be safe around the city, and Wilbur will be safe here. When things slow down-” 

“I don’t want to go back to hiding in the safehouses.” Techno protests, and Wilbur turns his head with a jolt. “I want to stay here.” 

Phil blinks in surprise, then his voice goes stern. “Techno-”

“I’m staying here.” He repeats, and Phil gives a hard look. “Wilbur needs training, anyway. He’s burning the table again.” 

“Shit!” Wil swears, and Tommy cackles, watching as Wil tries to wave the smoke off from the wood. 

“It’s not safe.” Phil tries to insist. “The temple will come back around here again to try asking us questions. Even with my people keeping an eye out, it could be too sudden.” 

“We’ll figure it out.” Technoblade says, like that is final. “I’m not leaving Wilbur.” 

Not again, he doesn't say. But Wil hears it anyway.