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TK Strand doesn’t like the world he lives in. The best part of his day is at night when he closes his eyes so he can’t see anything, and the worst part is in the morning when he has to open them again - open them back up to a world that lacks in beauty.
He wakes up and everything is just gray. All there is are shades that make him numb every day that passes without meeting the one person who will bring color into his world.
He needs this vicious and heartbreaking cycle to end. Not only will his soulmate be the one to bring love and joy of seeing color into TK’s life, his soulmate will also be the first thing he’ll see when he wakes up. He will look to his soulmate and always remember what it had felt like the first time he learned the color of their hair or the color of their eyes.
Not knowing when and where he’s going to meet his soulmate is also driving him crazy. Whenever he’s outside of his dad’s place and his inner circle, he always hopes that he’ll run into the person who will make his entire life whole. At grocery stores and markets, he wonders if they’ll be in an aisle and reach for the same box of sugary cereal, if they’ll accidentally crash carts into each other, or if the checkout line is long and one of them doesn’t have much so they let the other go in front of them. On the rare occasion that TK goes out to enjoy the Austin nightlife, he’s looking around to see if someone will ask him to dance or offer to buy him a drink. He spends so much time searching that he never really thinks if his soulmate is looking for him with the same determination.
TK knows he’s not the only one in the world who hasn’t met his soulmate yet. His parents aren’t even soulmates, which had been a shock to him when he was told this. How could they have been married and start a family without being with the person created by the universe for each other to do those things with? Why wouldn’t they want to discover all the wonders of the world through colors? But while observing them, he could never tell that they weren’t supposed to be together. They would hold hands when they went out for walks, kiss in the kitchen before TK left for school and they both went for work, they always told each other “I love you” with a glimmer of fondness in their eyes. Everything between them was perfect, until they weren’t. The divorce surprised him and his mother explained to him that they still had love for each other but they both felt that it was time for them to stop thinking they knew better than the universe did and to find their one they’re truly meant to be with.
Now, his mom is with her soulmate but his dad still hasn’t found his. His dad is a believer in “beating the odds” and his mom is more of a realistic type of thinker. TK wonders if his dad still believes him and his mom could have worked things out. But, he wouldn’t want his parents to try if they weren’t going to experience life in all the ways they deserved to.
For a couple of years, TK thought that maybe his soulmate situation was the same as his parents’. Maybe he should’ve stop thinking he had to be with his soulmate and start believing he would beat the odds with the partner he found on his own. It happened when he wasn’t actively looking. TK was stuck in traffic and running late to work. When he was running from the parking garage to his office he ran into someone who was just walking in to interview in the same building. The breeze from the door caught papers he was holding and they blew into the busy street. TK apologized profusely and the man just laughed it off and joked that he’s never lucky on interview days but felt lucky to literally run into someone as attractive as TK was. He introduced himself as Alex and asked TK for his number so he could reach him when he owed him for the lost papers.
It was the first time something unexpectedly good happened for TK.
After that moment and a disastrous first date, TK had a boyfriend. He was in love with Alex, even though every time they kissed the world didn’t burst into colors. When it was time for their first kiss, TK felt in his heart that their lips would touch and the all of the colors of the city would suddenly appear. His eyes would open and be entranced by whatever colored eyes were staring back at his. That never happened. He stopped letting it hurt him each time they shared a kiss that it wouldn’t ignite his soul, or have the universe show him all the harmonious hues that make up the planet.
Then, when he decided he wanted to ask his boyfriend to marry him, the universe finally intervened. The night TK was going to propose was the same night his boyfriend found his soulmate. TK was crushed, but not because this relationship was over. He was happy that someone he really cared about found their soulmate. He was crushed because he was back to being alone in this colorless world and his soulmate was still out there somewhere where TK couldn’t find them.
All of that happened when he was living in New York. He moved to Austin after his mom married her soulmate, Enzo, and became pregnant with his future half-brother, and when Alex left to start his vibrant life with his soulmate.
He’s been staying with his dad, who moved to Austin to help rebuild the community’s fire station. TK concluded that since they both haven’t met their soulmates yet, that they’d at least be each other’s company until then, and maybe he needed to be looking for his in an entirely different state.
It’s been a little over two years since TK made that decision. It’s been over two years of meeting new people that aren’t his soulmate, two years of waking up to a boring lightly shaded ceiling - his dad says it’s an off-white eggshell color, which doesn’t mean much to TK - and over two years of telling himself he may just be someone who’s not supposed to find his soulmate until he’s in his 50s.
This morning is the last one that he’ll have to see the boring not-quite-white ceiling. It’s the last time he’ll be in Austin, Texas for a while.
“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to keep starting entirely over, TK.” His dad, Owen Strand, says to him, as he removes TK’s bags from the trunk of his black car.
TK’s staring up at the gray sky that’s blanketed with white clouds, watching as airplanes seem to touch them. He wonders what color it truly is.
“Son, are you okay?” Owen asks him again, rolling his suitcase onto the sidewalk.
TK glances over to him when he hears the clicking sound of the suitcase’s handle snap into place.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lets out a breath, hoping that his next destination will be where he’s supposed to be.
His dad hums a response, indicating that he doesn’t quite believe him. Owen’s been skeptical of TK’s decisions about finding his soulmate elsewhere ever since he told him he wants to leave Texas and try out a different city. TK’s not sure if his dad’s change in attitude is because TK’s no longer settling for what the universe has already given him, or if his dad doesn’t want to be feel abandoned again by someone he loves.
TK has already reassured him numerous times that this move is something he’s doing for himself.
This time he’s going to try out Los Angeles, California. There’s plenty of people there so his chances at finding his soulmate are probably going to be much higher there. Plus, a lot of people go to Los Angeles to find themselves so perhaps finding someone else is just a bonus.
“Well, I guess this is it then. I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he pauses and moves his head in a slight contemplating motion, “who you’re looking for.”
“Thanks, dad. For everything.” TK says to him before being pulled in for a hug. He doesn’t have time to tell his dad he hopes he finds who he’s looking for too, but he’s sure his dad is still hung up on his mom and Owen is pretty much crushing his lungs with how tight he’s squeezing him.
“My door is always open for you, kid.” Owen gives TK a few strong pats on his back before pulling away, leaving a hand grasping on TK’s shoulder.
“I know.” TK replies with a nod and a smile. “I appreciate it.”
“Travel safe and call me as soon as you can. And call your mom too.” Owen tells him, his hand finally dropping from TK’s shoulder.
Every time Owen mentions his mom, TK feels the gloomy shift in his demeanor. He doesn’t quite understand why his dad isn’t more optimistic because his one true love is out there someone and he knows for certain that it’s not his former wife, who has found her one and isn’t going to be running back to him. His dad has “beat the odds” in many aspects of his life and career but there is absolutely no chance that he’ll beat the odds of a soulmate.
Part of him hopes that him leaving is also a sign from the universe that his dad will be connected with his soulmate too.
With one final look back at his mixed shades of black, white, and gray dad, standing in front of his black car, outside where the sky shares the same gray as the pavement and the surrounding buildings, TK steps into the Austin Airport to begin his journey to his soulmate all over again.
Waiting in line is already an awkward and boring task. Add in having to try and find something else to focus on to distract from the waiting, isn’t something that changes how TK feels. He can’t chose a wall to stare at or poster to read because there’s nothing to excite his sensory process.
His eyes carefully glance over the people in front of him. Whenever he’s out in public he can’t help but watch the strangers around him to see if he’s able to figure out who’s able to see colors and who is still stuck in the same vintage nightmare that he’s in. His usual signs for people who have found their soulmates, other than the physical signs of a romantic relationship, are: happy facial expressions - because people who can’t see color yet are usually as blank as the slate they’re stuck looking at everyday -, people complimenting others on their appearance, or simply someone just pointing out something and then saying what color it is in the most excited way.
Just hearing the word for a color alerts him because he can’t wait to discover them. He can’t wait to be fascinated by the fact there’s an entire new way to see the world he lives in with his soulmate. As a child, he couldn’t learn what the words were for colors because his parents couldn’t see colors. Most children at least have the knowledge of what the words are before they even have the interest in what a soulmate is. It wasn’t until his mom’s soulmate, Enzo, came into his life, when he was in his early 20s, that TK knew what the words for colors and correlations of things that are that color even were. He’s had a book of colors and their names ever since he was 16 but it didn’t really mean anything to him because the names changed but the three shades of black, gray, and white stayed the same.
His mom and Enzo are still amazed by the beauty of colors and TK only only hopes it’ll never become boring - that it will never become as mind numbing as a world of black and white.
As he makes his way to one of the open check-in counters, checks in, and then goes through a similar waiting period with the security process, TK can feel a weight lift off of his chest. He had this same feeling when he made it through the airport in New York. He‘a leaving a place that his soulmate isn’t in and he is onto a new one where his soulmate just may be.
On his way to his gate, something causes him to turn his head to the left towards the crowd of people looking at the digital information board that displays the statuses for all of the flights. He almost trips over his own two feet when he suddenly stops - not even thinking about if there are people close enough behind him that he may cause a pile-up. It would be far more embarrassing if people see that in the middle of the airport.
The reason he comes to a halt has to do with one person in particular. He’s never seen this person before. Actually, he’s really only seen the back of his head and his side profile. His hair is curly and a dark shade and his skin is grayer than his own. His jacket is a shade between them, but closer to the one his hair resembles. He doesn’t know why his feet planted him in this spot, where people are rudely bumping into him and telling him to move, but nothing else really seems to matter right now.
Eventually, all the other voices are drowned out by a ringing in TK’s ears. The rise and fall of his chest is more visible to him as he deeply breaths. His eyes are still transfixed on the man. TK’s tongue swipes once over his dry lips as the man lifts his arm and puts his phone to his ear, a watch appearing on his wrist as the sleeve of his jacket is pulled back from the movement.
As the man starts to turn his head, TK quickly ducks his head and continues walking towards his gate so he can wait to board. He’ll get on the plane and fly off to where the man will never have to see him gawking at him ever again.
He finds a seat where his gate is located and ditches his carry-on backpack in one of the empty chairs next to him. Then he takes his phone and AirPods out from the pockets of his jacket, ready to put them in and close his eyes so he can escape from his reality for a little while longer.
“Is this seat taken?” A kind sultry voice asks him.
When TK hears the question, he’s startled and clenches the case for his AirPods in his hand while his phone slips off his thigh and lands on the ground in front of his feet. It’s not the silky voice that makes him jump. It’s that the most beautiful person he’s ever seen is now right in front of him, talking to him, and wanting to be near him.
His throat feels tight and he struggles a swallow. What is it about this man that’s making TK’s brain forget how to make his body function normally?
Instead of answering, his eyes look down to where his phone is.
They both reach for TK’s phone at the same time, TK pulling his hand back once he sees the gray hand and watch enter into his view. He isn’t sure if their fingers brushed when he does this or not. His entire body feels foreign at this point.
“I didn’t mean to startle you.” He says with a soft smile as he hands TK his phone back.
“Thanks,” TK says, the sound of own words giving him relief because he’s able to speak coherently. He reaches forward and takes his phone, placing it back on his leg before reaching over and clearing the open spot for the man to sit down in.
“You can sit here if you want. I’m not saving it for anybody.” TK says. He doesn’t know why he thinks it matters to this stranger to know that he’s alone, but when he says it he hears a faint hum that causes heat to wash over his ears.
The man nods in gratitude. “I’m sorry if I’m intruding. My flight just got delayed and if I’m standing in one spot for too long, then I won’t be able to stay still.” The man explains to him as he takes the seat that’s been offered to him. He slips his arms out from the jacket he’s wearing and then folds it neatly onto his lap.
TK’s eyes follow an unmapped trail from the man’s jaw, to his neck and collared black shirt, curving around his broad shoulder, down from a chiseled bicep, completing his journey to his watch.
“I’m Carlos, by the way.” He twists to face TK and extends his hand as he introduces himself.
He reaches out his own hand, but then pulls back at the last second. He feels like he should be the one apologizing to him.
“I’m sorry for staring at you back there.” His apology is awkward as he points back in the direction where the flight information is.
Carlos’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, and it’s both the most adorable and undeniably attractive thing he’s ever seen. “You were staring at me?”
“Uh,” TK embarrassingly groans and rubs the bottom of his palm against his eyes, “sort of.”
Does he explain that he just couldn’t help it, or will that just make the situation even more embarrassing? It’s the truth. For whatever reason his legs had become weighted and anchored him into place.
A lighthearted smile graces over Carlos’s gray lips. “I wish I had caught you.” His tone is full of amusement. His hand is still out and waiting for TK to introduce himself.
The comment makes TK want to break out into a flirtatious grin, but he’s not sure if this handsome and charming man already has his soulmate. Sure, it would be easy to just slip in a question about it but TK doesn’t want to because then it might cause whatever is happening between them to end - even though it’s inevitable because they’ll both be getting on their respected flights and this moment will be just that.
“TK,” he answers as he brings his hand forward and shakes Carlos’s.
At the initial warmth from their touch, TK feels the sensation from when he first saw Carlos come back to him. It doesn’t fill him slowly. It hits him and spreads like wildfire, causing that stillness in his body to also return. He goes blank and lets it take over him until he’s able to break through. He glances down at their joined hands because he can’t help but want to know what their white and gray hands look like together. TK pulls it back when he feels like he maybe held on longer than he should’ve.
He wonders just how long he had been holding Carlos’s hand, and if Carlos thinks he’s being even stranger. But wouldn’t have Carlos pulled away if he was uncomfortable with TK?
TK looks up into Carlos’s dark eyes and is relieved when he doesn’t see fear or upset on his face. Carlos keeps his gaze, his eyes scanning back and forth as he’s trying to read TK’s own expression.
Carlos’s tongue swipes over his lips as he’s about to speak but TK speaks first.
“Where are you off to?” TK finds himself asking Carlos to break the tension he feels he’s causing; also curious to learn if he lives in Texas or somewhere else. He can’t help but secretly hope that it might be New York.
Carlos answers him with ease. “Arizona. One of my sister’s just had a baby. All of my sisters have multiple children, who are all very much loved, but this one’s the first boy. I finally have a nephew.” He lets out an elated sigh.
He guesses that Carlos is the happiest when it comes to talking about and being with his family. It also sounds like he has a pretty large family, which is something else he’s finding so adoring about him because his own family is smaller and a bit broken.
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” He interlocks his fingers and rests his hands into his lap. It doesn’t take long for his fingers to slip apart and start playing with his jacket. “What about you?”
There are two ways TK can answer this. He can be overly honest and say that he’s escaping another place that he’s failed at finding his soulmate in, or he can be simple and not bombard Carlos with his life story. Carlos didn’t ask about that anyway.
TK chooses to answer vaguely. “I’m going to Los Angeles. Austin just isn’t the place for me anymore.”
“Oh,” Carlos mumbles before looking down and his fumbling fingers and clearing his throat, “um, that’s cool. One of my other sisters lives in California. She likes it. I’m sure you will too.”
“Yeah,” TK comments while also focusing on Carlos’s change in his behavior. The once confident man now seems to be nervous about something as he picks at a thread on the shoulder of his jacket.
But instead of asking Carlos if he’s okay he asks, “how many sisters do you have?”
At that, Carlos appears to relax. He drops his shoulders and is able to look over at TK again.
“I have three.” He counts them on his fingers. “The sister I’m visiting, Ysabel. Arely is the one who’s in California. And then there’s Iliana. She still lives here in Austin with my parents.”
TK nods along as Carlos lists his sisters. He can’t help but wonder if Carlos having sisters shaped him into the man that he is now. That has to have some sort of impact on his life. He can’t imagine growing up with three sisters. He can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up with any siblings at all.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Carlos asks.
“Well, I have a half-brother. His name is Jonah. He’s barely two and we’re not close. He lives with my mom and her husband in New York.”
“Her husband isn’t your dad?”
TK shakes his head. “My parents aren’t soulmates. They still fell in love, got married, and had me, but they’re not supposed to be together. I always thought you could only have those kinds of feelings and do those big life events with a soulmate. So, when they got divorced and found out they weren’t soulmates, I was really surprised.”
He doesn’t expect to open up to him about the situation with his parents. He actually didn’t really think about what he had said because there’s just something comforting about Carlos.
At least TK leaves out the part about his past boyfriend, who he chose to have that same kind of life with, one that would never actually be or ever feel complete.
“I’ve never told anyone that before.”
Carlos understandingly nods. “I’ve never heard of that before. My parents are definitely soulmates.” He says fondly. “Everyone who’s ever met them says that to them all of the time.”
“I’m sure you could’ve said that about my parents if you met them when they were still together. But what do I know? I was blind to it almost my entire life.” TK shakes his head, feeling frustrated with himself for always believing his parents’ love story was the real thing.
“That’s not something anyone has control over. I mean, not to speak down about your parents’ love or anything. I’m sure it was real.” Carlos says.
“My dad wanted to stick it to the universe.” TK lets out a bitter laugh. “He believed their love was stronger than anything in this world. He still believes it but he needs to let it go, you know? My mom’s with her soulmate now and she’s not going to leave him to come back to my dad.”
He stops talking when he realizes he’s probably saying too much now. He’s pretty sure his dad wouldn’t want him telling people that he’s holding onto something he knows he’ll never truly be able to have forever. As much as TK knows how much his dad loves his mom, he also knows how much it’s destroying his dad that his mom is with her soulmate.
“I don’t mean to vent to you like this. All you wanted was a place to sit down and here I am spilling about my parents.”
Carlos shakes his head. “I don’t mind it. I quite enjoy talking with you. I’d actually like to hear more about you rather than your parents. That is, if we have time. When are you supposed to board?”
TK picks up his phone, which he planned on being on until he would be called to board, to check the time.
“According to the time, in about seven minutes,“ his voice trails off. Then he lifts his head and quickly looks around the terminal and notices that nobody else is getting up from their seats, not even to ask the attendant at the desk. He finds this a little bit strange.
“I’ll be right back.” TK says to him as he stands up. He takes another look to Carlos, hoping that he doesn’t vanish when he turns back around.
Then he walks over to where the attendant is standing behind her small podium-style desk. Her hair is a lighter shade that almost matches her skin’s. “Excuse me, Miss?”
Her eyes slowly peer up to meet his. She plasters on a greeting smile. “May I help you?”
“Yeah, are there any changes to the flight? I haven’t heard any announcements and nobody else seems to be getting ready to board.” He points over his shoulder with his thumb.
“Hold on and let me see.” She starts typing on her computer, the clicking sound from her nails rattling off of the keys.
“By the way,” she says as her eyes scroll down the screen, “can I just say that you have such gorgeous green eyes? I mean, no color with ever beat my fiancé’s eyes but yours are definitely something. I’m sure you hear that all the time from your partner.” She grins and her eyes pan over in Carlos’s direction.
When he turns his head, he notices Carlos looking at him. Instead of looking away, like he would have done, Carlos keeps his eyes locked onto him. He even gives him a bashful little wave.
If only, is all TK thinks as he sends Carlos a small smile back.
His mom had been the first person to tell him the color of his eyes. It happened soon after she met Enzo and she had teared up about it because she’s always wanted to know the color of her sweet boy’s eyes.
“Here we are.” She says, pointing at her screen before telling him, “we we’re just about to announce the delay, sir. It looks like it’ll be about three more hours. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
“Thank you.” He tells her.
He’s not even disappointed or annoyed that he’s going to be stuck in the airport for a few more hours. This minor delay just awarded him three more hours with Carlos, unless his delayed flight is coming up soon. That’s the thought that disappoints him and sends a rapid searing pain in his chest.
He walks back over to Carlos and shrugs his shoulders when the click of a microphone cuts over their heads.
“Looks like we have plenty of time now.” TK tells Carlos as the attendant makes the announce over the terminal’s intercom.
Carlos smiles at that and then licks his lips again. “Do you maybe want to grab some food? I know airport food isn’t the greatest but it’s all we’ve got.”
“I could go for a bite. Plus, I don’t think I can sit in these uncomfortable seats for three more straight hours. What’s the status on your flight?“ Tk asks him.
“No changes.” Carlos says as he stands up and puts his jacket back on. His hands feel at his pockets before he straightens out his posture. The chair must have made him uncomfortable too.
“Let’s go.” Carlos says, letting TK take the first steps.
“Yeah,” TK manages out as he walks and soon Carlos meets his every stride. He looks over to him and can’t help but smile at the way Carlos looks so determined. Any nervous habits he had before seem to have been left behind.
“Tell me something about you. Like what do you do when you’re not sitting around at airports?” Carlos asks him with a soft chuckle.
The silence between them grows as TK tries to think of something worthy of Carlos’s approval. He finds himself wanting to sound impressive because the reality is that his life lacks more than just the vibrancy of colors.
“I sit around an office all day.” TK can’t help but chuckle too. “I work for a marketing agency. I handle a lot of the communications between our office and clients.”
“That’s interesting.” Carlos comments and TK’s not sure if he’s being sincere or just doesn’t want to tell TK his life is just as bland as his world looks. “Does your office know that you’re leaving?”
TK nods. “Yeah, I kind of gave my two weeks notice without even having a plan to fall back on. I’m literally moving to another state with one bag of luggage and no job. I don’t even have an address.”
“How adventurous.” Carlos says as his hands slip into his jacket pockets.
He likes that Carlos thinks he’s being adventurous. It’s only because Carlos doesn’t know the real reasons why he’s throwing away his life in Austin. But maybe it will be a new adventure because, after all, he is leaving in search of something.
They stop walking when they reach a line at a small McDonald’s, deciding on it because it’ll probably be the quickest even though it’s the longest line. When they order, a hamburger and fries for Carlos and a ten piece chicken nugget and fries for TK, Carlos pays for their food. He doesn’t do it rudely but does it as a kind and joking gesture since TK probably won’t have much money because he’s now unemployed.
“My dad says it’s asinine. What I’m doing.” TK admits as they walk over to a couple of empty tables. “I thought it’s because he doesn’t want me abandoning him either but maybe he actually believes this is a terrible idea.”
“A lot of parents would probably say that about their child packing one bag and then taking off without any thought out plan.” Carlos says once they’ve sat down at a small round table. He takes his food out and also serves TK his before he unwraps his hamburger.
TK starts picking out the fries from the bottom of the bag, eating a couple of them while Carlos seems to be taking his dad’s side now. “You just said it was adventurous.” The next fry that he picks up is tossed at Carlos. “Do you think I’m being crazy too?”
“I’m sorry. I’m a control freak.” Carlos begins as he picks the fry up from his nearly laid out wrapper and then eats it. “I like to have a plan with all the little details. I could never do what you’re doing and I’m not taking back what I said. I think it’s brave that you’re moving even though you have no place to actually live.” The last part sounds Carlos is messing with him again.
TK rolls his eyes as he opens up his food box and pops a hot chicken nugget into his mouth.
Carlos just looks at him with pure amusement as he continues eating.
“No food will ever win over the Reyes women’s.” He says as he leans back in his chair to stretch. “My mom would hit me if she knew I was eating this.”
“I don’t think she’ll ever find out about this.” TK tells him while he picks up more fries to eat.
“Oh, she will. She has a sixth sense when it comes to her children. I won’t even get to hug her before she goes, ‘did you eat at that excuse for a burger place, Carlitos?’“ Carlos changes the pitch of his voice to sound more like his mom.
TK can’t help but laugh at the impression. “Carlitos?”
“Yeah, she’s called me that ever since I was a kid.” He smiles at that. “And there’s so much love and care behind it that I never want her to stop. If I ever start to sound like a mama’s boy, it’s because I totally am.”
“I would have never have guessed that.” TK quips.
Carlos smiles again but this time it’s different. His eyes slightly squint and the line of his smile looks like it could reach his ears. Even though all TK can see is a gray face, he thinks Carlos is remarkably beautiful.
TK listens as Carlos talks more about his life growing up and living on a ranch. He shares stories about how when he was six his sisters would trick him into feeding the chickens because they didn’t want to be chased, and the time Iliana begged to have her prom picture taken with her pink cowboy boots on and she got stuck in the mud, which their father knew would happen. Carlos, who was only 15 at the time came to her rescue and pulled her out of it.
TK can picture it all because Carlos speaks in enough detail, even with the lack of describing the shade or color of things. He can see a young boy with a bag of chicken feed going into the pen. He can see a teenage boy helping his sister out of the mud in her beautiful dress. He’s so intrigued by everything Carlos says.
He wishes he had the chance to grow up like Carlos did with his siblings. He could have used someone close in his age to spend his days with. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt so lonely while his parents were going through their divorce. Sure, he has Jonah now, but he feels like it’s a little too late to have that kind of bond with him; him being 20 plus years older and living in a different state than him doesn’t give him the greatest chances of that lifelong connection.
It’s not until Carlos asks him what’s wrong that TK realizes he must have put a disappointing sound to his thoughts.
“My life’s not as,” he pauses because almost wants to say Carlos’s life is colorful. It really sounds like it is from the way he talks. It’s always so profound and lively.
That’s why TK concludes that there’s no way Carlos hasn’t found his soulmate already.
“As what?” Carlos asks after taking a bite from his hamburger. The hamburger is so small and thin that he’ll be able to finish it before TK can come up with a better way to describe his life that won’t break his heart.
“As put together as yours. From what you’ve told me, you have this amazing family that’s so connected with each other and you probably have so many stories about them that’ll make envy you even more. I don’t have that and I want what you have but I can’t seem to get it. Hell, the reason I’m going is because who I want to give me all of those things in my life isn’t here.” TK says.
“Don’t go,” is all Carlos replies with. His voice is serious and his eyes glaze over, pleading with him.
“What?”
“Don’t go to Los Angeles.” Carlos lets deeply exhales. “This is going to sound more crazy than what you’re doing, and you already know that I don’t do crazy things and I follow plans.” He starts to ramble and rushing his words out to the point where TK doesn’t know which ones to focus on. “Don’t leave, but also will you leave with me? Right now?”
Carlos is right. He does sound crazy.
“Leave with you to where exactly?” TK asks him cautiously.
His fingers start to fold the bottom edge of his paper wrapper. “My place. An airport McDonald’s isn’t exactly where I imagined having this conversation. I’d rather it be more private.”
What conversation could he be imagining? They’re two strangers at an airport and soon they’ll be going back to being just two strangers.
“What about your sister and your first nephew? Aren’t they expecting you? Carlos, your family is important to you and choosing some random stranger at the airport over them isn’t you.” TK explains to him.
Carlos lets out a sigh and his leg starts bouncing underneath the table. “I know it’s not but my family will understand once I tell them. And if you come with me, then you’ll know why right now is more important to me too. Please, TK.”
TK looks around the airport to see if anyone’s paying attention to them. He runs his hand down his face and lets out a frustrated sigh. Does he tell Carlos he’s being ridiculous in thinking he’d leave with him and miss his flight?
But at the same time, he’s actually considering going with Carlos even though they barely know each other. Being around Carlos has been amazing and he doesn’t want to be apart from him for whatever reason. He wants to keep the conversation going. He wants to hear all of the stories about the kind of family he longed for growing up.
What is so important to Carlos that he wants to leave so suddenly? And why does TK have to go with him?
Wait. TK slides the paper bag over to one side of the table. He scoots his chair in as close as he can, propping his elbows onto the table and leaning forward towards Carlos.
Carlos gives him an odd look but leans his own body forward to meet TK.
He’s going to just go for it. He’s not going to hold back because of the gut-wrenching fear that asking Carlos this is going to ruin him.
“Carlos, what color are my eyes?”
“I don’t know.” He bows his head to look away from him, his voice breaking.
With his answer, TK pushes his chair away from the table and stands up. He puts his hands on his hips and starts pacing. Carlos hasn’t met his soulmate yet.
“Fuck,” he blurts out and then lets out a long exhale of breath. His hand goes to his mouth and his fingers lightly pull at his bottom lip as he tries to gather his thoughts.
This could be it. This could be his moment. This could be their moment.
TK has to go with him. He needs to forget about Los Angeles and take this chance with Carlos. If Carlos is his person, then he won’t have to go anywhere else. In a couple of hours his entire world could change right before his eyes.
He doesn’t care if he’s now losing a few hundreds of dollars he’s already spent on his flight. He doesn’t care if he ever gets his suitcase stuffed with random clothes back.
Everything else can wait.
Carlos is watching him with worried eyes, following TK’s back and forth path until he stops. When TK finally looks at him he hears Carlos’s breath hitch.
“Your place, right?“ He laughs through his grin when Carlos’s face lights up and he quickly stands up.
Carlos starts packing away the food, leaving the table neat for whoever sits at it next. He’s definitely a little too organized for TK but he can’t help but to be attracted to all of the things he sees and learns about Carlos - and there are still so many other things to learn about him.
Carlos sets up their ride while TK messages his dad that his flight has been delayed and that he’s actually not going to be traveling to Los Angeles anymore. Of course, his dad offers to drive back to the airport and pick him up. TK tells him that he doesn’t need to and he already has arrangements. He’ll talk to him later
On the way to his place, Carlos calls his sister to let her know about his flight and that he’ll go to Arizona with his parents when they decide to see their first grandson. When she starts going on about how she’s been looking forward to this and she had all these ideas of things to do, he calmly asks her to listen to him. He tells her, “alma gemela,” and her annoyed voice suddenly turns overly excited. Carlos laughs and tells her he will talk to her soon.
He doesn’t know what it means but it clearly means something if it made Carlos’s sister’s mood to immediately switch.
Carlos continues to be a gentleman once they arrive, opening TK’s door for him and then going to the trunk of the car to get their carry-ons. He carries them to the door, setting them down to unlock the front door and let TK inside, telling him to make himself at home while he checks on his plants.
TK’s fingers drum against the outer sides of his legs while he tries to calm himself down. He doesn’t know how this is going to play out and he really wants it to only go one way.
While he waits for Carlos to come back inside, he starts looking around at his new surroundings. The walls of Carlos’s townhouse are dark and covered in art and other wall hangings that don’t give any complimentary contrast. All of it makes the space seem like it could close in on him. He wonders why Carlos would chose such a dark shade when he’s everything but.
“So, there’s something else I have to tell you.” Carlos blurts out as he drops their bags by the door and closes it
TK lets out a sigh, ready to hear Carlos tell him that he lied to him and he actually already has a soulmate, or that he just puts on this kindness act and uses the whole soulmates thing to hook up with desperate hopefuls. He’s ready to hear that every instinct that’s telling him that this is finally happening for him is completely wrong.
He turns around and leans against the wall across from the door to face Carlos, who’s approaching him with such speed as if his each step holds a purpose.
Carlos stops right in front of TK, his eyes wide with apprehension and desire. “I stayed because of you, TK. There weren’t delays for my flight. My flight actually got canceled this morning.” He starts to explain. “Look, I felt something, like some sort of shift below the ground.” He stops again while his fingers run down TK’s arms, causing the other man to shiver, until they meet his fingertips. “I felt like I couldn’t move. When I finally could I saw you and I just started walking over to you, like I was being carried to you. I’ve never felt this way before and I didn’t know what it was then, but now I think it must have been at the same moment you first saw me.”
The frozen feeling in TK’s body returns again, this time it’s all from Carlos’s words. He’s trying his best to process them before saying a word. The fact that Carlos was never going to even try to book another flight because he wanted to stay with TK puts him in a tailspin. Carlos feeling the same way he does and that they were somehow just drawn towards each other fills him with so much more hope that this is going to be it.
“I know it’s a lot but could you maybe say something? Even just to tell me I’m completely freaking you out. I -“ Carlos starts his nervous rambling again but TK stops him from continuing any further.
“I - I felt it too. When I saw you I couldn’t move either. I don’t know why I even looked at you in the first place but I did. Then it happened again when I took your hand.” TK hooks his fingers with Carlos’s before lacing their fingers together perfectly. “I was going to leave Austin because I didn’t think my soulmate was here.”
Carlos smiles. “This is fate, the universe’s plan all along. The day you were going to leave because you haven’t met your soulmate yet is the same day I’m also leaving to see my sister. Then both of our flights got messed up. We’re right where we’re supposed to be, TK. We’re soulmates.”
Can this be real? Has everything in the universe aligned to finally bring TK and his soulmate together? It had to take TK leaving to let him have his once in a lifetime meeting? All the pieces Carlos put together make sense but he’s thought this before when he met Alex.
The only way to find out if this is the real deal is to kiss. One kiss can completely change his world and bring love and color into his life for good.
“May I?” Carlos asks him in a hushed tone, stepping closer to TK. The tip of his nose barely brushes his. Carlos takes both sides of TK’s face between his hands.
TK slowly nods his head, not only because he really wants Carlos to kiss him, but to also nuzzle his nose against Carlos’s, whispering a breathless, “please do.”
With a exhale of shaky breath, Carlos brings one hand up to rest in the nape of TK’s neck before he leans forward, giving his head a slight tilt and slowly bringing TK’s lips to meet his in a simple brush that immediately livens TK up.
His eyes slowly close shut just before Carlos’s lips touch his own, blanketing him in darkness. He lets out a euphoric gasp at the feels of his lips. Carlos doesn’t pull away from him and TK parts his lips more openly this time so he can feel the way Carlos’s fit around his. The kiss sends a sensation through TK’s body that he’s never felt before, feeling like this time he could melt to the floor if there wasn’t a wall behind him or if Carlos wasn’t holding him.
It’s Carlos who pulls away from him. TK hears an surprised breath come from Carlos, followed by his touch, tracing along the bridge of his nose and then down to his lips.
His tongue swipes over his lips, savoring another taste of Carlos before he loses him for good. TK doesn’t open his eyes. He actually shuts them tighter if it’s possible. He’s enjoying this too much and it would kill him if he opens them and sees the combinations of shades that make up Carlos are just the same plain ones he sees everyday.
“Open your eyes, TK.” Carlos tells him, keeping his voice soft but there’s a little demand there. He places another kiss by the corner of his mouth and then on his cheek as his thumbs brush underneath his eyes.
“I can’t, Carlos.” TK tells him.
“Hey, you can. You can just for me.” Carlos rests his forehead against TK’s and he can feel his warm breath against his lips.
He shakes his head vigorously, denying both him and Carlos the satisfaction. “I can’t get my hopes up again that I finally found my soulmate. I can’t open my eyes and see you as another colorless thing in my life when I want you to be the most vivid.” Tears manage to spill from his tightly closed eyes and Carlos’s fingers are quick to catch each one and wipe them away.
“TK, I know you’re scared. I was too, but I promise you there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.”
TK can feel the fullness of Carlos’s bottom lip as he pouts over his mouth in an irresistible way. “Plus, you can’t keep them closed forever because I’d really like to see the color of my soulmates eyes to know if they’re as gorgeous as the rest of him is.”
“Gorgeous, huh?” He lets out a breathy chuckle. “You know that flight attendant told me the same thing today.”
“Did she?” He muses. “I find it so unfair that some random woman at the airport got to see the color of my soulmates eyes before me.”
That’s when it hits him that Carlos sees him as he truly is, in every color that makes him up. Carlos is his soulmate.
This is it, he decides. His heart isn’t going to shatter because it’ll be the furthest from broken. He’s going to let himself free from his forced darkness and let the world show him that he’s no longer searching and instead discovering.
As soon as his eyes open he can’t help the gasp that escapes him. It’s a lot to take in all at once. He doesn’t know where to look first but he does know he doesn’t want to look at the background. He doesn’t want to see any other colors that aren’t attached to Carlos.
Everything is no longer just black, white, and gray - gray being the worst shade to TK because of all the variations. Carlos’s face and clothes are now different colors of light and dark that bring out his hair and eyes.
He doesn’t know what any of the colors are, which he hates because he can’t really give himself the full description of Carlos. When he does learn what each of them are he can’t wait to recite them all to him, and vice versa. He wants stay up late to touch every part of Carlos and put a color to their name. He wants to see Carlos come apart the first time they have sex so he can catch his eyes go through every desirable emotion.
“It’s you.” He says, awestruck at the man standing before him in the way he’s always intended to be.
“It’s me.” Carlos confirms. He lets out a lighthearted laugh before he studies TK’s eyes, his nose lightly scrunching up as he tries to figure it out in his own.
“Green,” he says, helping Carlos find the correct color to coordinate with his eyes.
“Green,” Carlos repeats. “I don’t know any colors but I think green’s going to be my favorite.“
TK feels like he’s about to cry as emotions come at him all at once. He’s been wanting to have this moment for so long and now he’ll never have to spend another minute wondering when he’ll learn the color of the eyes he gets to see everyday.
“What color are yours?”
“My parents say they’re brown. Pretty boring in comparison, right?”
TK shakes his head. “No, definitely not boring. You have beautiful, big brown soulful eyes.”
“You think they’re soulful?”
“Mm,” TK hums his response. Then reaches forward with a trembling hand and guides his fingers through Carlos’s curls. His hand slowly goes down his neck, then along the side of his face. As he traces his skin, Carlos leans into his touch. TK’s thumb stops at Carlos’s lips, softly brushing over them.
He can’t believe what he’s seeing or how he’s even feeling. As elated as he is that Carlos is his soulmate, he’s also overwhelmed with tears because this is much more than he thought it would be, trying to take in all these colors at once and finally finding a love that he will never have to be afraid of losing is making him dizzy
“Carlos?” His thumb moves over Carlos’s lips again.
“What did you say to your sister? That alma something part?” He lets out a small groan because he feels like not being able to remember the word is breaking the mood.
“Alma gemela.” Carlos corrects him. “Soulmate.”
“Alma gemela,” TK repeats, licking his lips as he after he speaks. “I think that sounds way sexier.”
Carlos turns his face into TK’s palm and presses a light kiss there, letting out a content sigh. He reaches out with his own hand and brushes TK’s soft hair back. Then he lets it curve to fit around the back of his neck, his fingers playing with the short hair at the bottom. “What else are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking I still hate the universe for not giving me you sooner.” TK says, his thumb stroking over Carlos’s cheek bone.
“All in due time, baby.” Carlos says before pulling TK back to meet his lips again.
It’s TK who suggests that they go upstairs, not that he remembers actually hearing his own words because Carlos’s tongue is licking into his mouth as he says it, pressing his hard body up against TK’s as he kisses him eagerly.
Carlos kicks the door closed behind him, shutting out everything but the two of them. He pulls his shirt off from over his head and tosses it aside, then his hands go to TK’s belt, his mouth latching onto his neck.
TK lets out a hiss as he walks backwards, his hands rest on Carlos’s chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly.
Carlos’s strong arm wraps around him as he brings TK down onto his bed. Carlos is now looking down at him, his chest rising and falling, his breathing coming out in pants as his eyes roam over his body. A satisfied grin briefly catches his lips before he goes back in for another kiss.
In the mix of limbs TK’s hand is able to find Carlos’s, squeezing it tightly as his back arches forward when Carlos sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. He rests their joined hands just above his head, his eyes only able to catch sight of how their skin looks together when they touch.
In this moment, the rest of the world can remain ugly and colorless because all that matters to him is pressing right against him, making him feel more alive than he’s ever felt before, holding him close as he continues breaking down the barriers that TK could never get over without him, until him.