Chapter Text
It had been a little over a year since Sakusa Kiyoomi joined the MSBY Jackals. At first, he had struggled to connect to his new teammates and adjust to all the new dynamics, but after a while he became comfortable in this environment. Sure, the routines were stricter and the training became harder, but he was a professional now after all. At least the hygiene in the locker rooms and the gym was better than the one on his old High Schooland College team.
Three people that - unexpectedly - helped a lot during his adjustment period, were Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shoyou and Bokuto Kotarou. Maybe it was because he knew them before coming here or because they were already familiar with his habits, but he definitely grew closer to them. Especially Miya and him had connected.
Although the blond had been a pain in his ass during High School and still sometimes annoyed the shit out of him, Kiyoomi found that Miya had grown up quite a lot. Of course, his humour was still as inappropriate as before and the blond never quite knew when to shut up, but he also became more relaxed over the years, more understanding. Where he once teased Kiyoomi relentlessly for his ‘weird habits’ and tried everything to make the other uncomfortable, he now carried extra disinfectant wipes and surgery masks around and made sure that everyone respected Kiyoomi’s boundaries.
His cousin, Motoya Komori, had been elated when he first learned of these new developments. He had been so proud that Kiyoomi was finally making friends and opening up to people, that the outside hitter hadn’t dared to tell his cousin how he wasn’t sure he and Miya were even more than teammates.
But Kiyoomi shouldn’t have worried, because Miya had made it quite clear that he saw Kiyoomi as a friend - a good friend at that. The blond talked to him, asked about his hobbies, his college time, his childhood and his likes and dislikes. He invited him to joint training sessions, shared lunch with him and even insisted on Kiyoomi joining him for movie nights. And after a year of being on the same team, Kiyoomi could say with confidence that he was one of the people who knew Miya Atsumu the best.
So, it really came as a surprise when one morning before training, Miya entered the locker rooms with freshly cut hair. Not that Miya never went to the hairdresser, his time of badly self-bleached hair had long since come to an end, but Kiyoomi knew - could recall the exact conversation - that Miya had told him about wanting to grow out his hair. So why did he cut it short again? Only a few weeks before he had sounded so excited about the prospect of being able to tie his hair up, to make stupid little buns and to finally match with Kiyoomi.
Had he changed his mind? Did he not want to try new things or did he not like the idea of looking even more visibly different to Osamu - his twin? Kiyoomi wasn’t really sure if he should ask the setter about it. Was that something people did? Should he compliment the new hairstyle and start a conversation over it? Or should he ignore it and go on with the rest of his day like normal?
The outside hitter wasn’t really keen on admitting it, but he was terrible with and completely lost when it came to social interactions. Since he never had many friends and even kept a careful distance from his own relatives, Kiyoomi had never learned how to manage these situations. Most of the time, he either came off as too standoffish or too blunt and on bad days almost apathetic. So, instead of saying something himself, Kiyoomi observed the reactions from his other teammates.
Meian and most of the others only gave a few, short words along the lines of ‘Did you cut your hair?” to ‘Nice hair cut’. Miya answered them with the appropriate respect and gratefulness, which resulted in ‘I did, I’m glad you noticed.’ and ‘Thank you!’, but Kiyoomi noticed, that Miya himself didn’t seem so happy. Did he not change his mind? But then why did he still cut his hair?
These questions plaqued the outside hitter during his whole training and although it must have sounded stupid to others to worry about such a small thing, Kiyoomi had always paid attention to the smallest of details. And maybe because of that, he actually asked Miya about it after training.
“Hey, Miya, do you have a minute?”
“Huh? Yeah, sure, Omi-Omi. What’s up?”
“Ah, I’ve just been wondering why you decided to cut your hair? It looks good, don’t worry. I’m just surprised since you told me you wanted to grow it out.”, explained Kiyoomi and was careful to keep his tone kind, not wanting Miya to get the wrong impression.
“Oh, well, I wanted to, yeah. But my boyfriend Ryota - you still remember him right? - wanted me to cut it. He said I would look like a girl with long hair and well, it’s not like I’m really attached to my hair, so I thought if he likes it short better, I can keep it short.”
Of course Kiyoomi remembered Miya’s boyfriend. The two had been together for a little under a year and when they first started dating, they had been over the moon for each other. With time, this feeling seemed to have calmed down, but the blond still talked frequently about him. Kiyoomi had never really liked Miya’s boyfriend if he was honest, something about him had just always seemed off, but for Miya’s sake he had stayed polite in all their short interactions with another.
Hearing now that he was dictating how Miya should look gave the outside hitter a queasy feeling that he didn’t quite know where to place. Kiyoomi had never really been in a long-term relationship. Sure, there were a few flings back during his college time, but none of them had lasted really long, so he didn’t really know if it was normal for a partner to determine things like this. The weird feeling in his stomach told him that it wasn’t, though.
But before Kiyoomi could have said anything more or even really replied, Miya had already packed all his stuff together and was saying ‘goodbye’ to the team.
“Bye, Omi-Omi! See you tomorrow!”
“Goodbye, Miya.”, was all the hitter could reply, before ther blond practically flew out the door of the locker rooms.
“Miya was in a bit of a hurry today, huh?”, asked Hinata beside him, slightly startling Kiyoomi.
“Hm.”
“I see, you also don’t know anything about it. Oh well, I bet he’s just got a date and doesn’t want to be late.”
“Well, then we’ll hear all about it tomorrow!”, remarked Bokuto and ended their short conversation with that.
—
It was a few weeks until Kiyoomi even remembered the conversation with Miya again. It was also the second time the outside hitter noticed something off in the relationship between the blond and his boyfriend.
The MSBY Jackals were on a team outing in a local bar together. It was a lazy Friday evening and most of the team members were already half wasted. Kiyoomi himself wasn’t one for excessive drinking, so he was one of the few who was still relatively sober. Surprisingly, Miya was also one of them.
The blond had been unusually quiet during the evening. Normally, Hinata, Bokuto and him were the loudest of the team, being occasionally joined by Inunaki and a few others. They were always chatting about one thing or another, making stupid jokes and laughing way too loudly. But today Miya hadn’t joined in on their lively conversations, instead he chose to remain a silent constant on Kiyoomi’s side.
Kiyoomi, being easily disturbed by changes in his routines, was getting irritated. Of course he enjoyed some peace and quiet, but there was a point where it got too much, even for him. So, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone, when he finally snapped.
“What’s wrong, Miya? Finally lost your voice from all that incessant chatter of yours?”
“Huh?”, the blond looked like he needed a moment to process that someone was talking to him, “Why, Omi-Omi? Miss my beautiful voice so much?”
The outside hitter took Miya’s playfully flirty grin in and distantly registered a small flutter in his stomach. It wasn’t the same feeling as last time. This time it came with the feeling of warmth and comfortability, where last time it had been uncomfortable, almost sickenly.
“No, I’m just surprised there was anything that could make the great Miya Atsumu shut up.”, snarled Kiyoomi sarcastically.
“Har Har-”, replied the blond and rolled his eyes. These teasing conversations between them were normal and even though it always took people some time to register that they were actually friends despite or rather because of these conversations, the two didn’t want to stop.
“And if you’re so interested, it was actually Ryota who remarked how much I talk. He said it was getting annoying, because he also wanted to talk about his day and how he didn’t need to know every little detail about my friends and day and I noticed he was right. I really talk too much. And even though we both know I like to pretend I’m this big asshole, I don’t really want to hinder the people important to me from expressing themselves. So, yeah, less talking it is.”
“That’s bullshit.”, said Kiyoomi without thinking about it.
“Why? Do you actually want me to be an asshole?”
“No! Of course not, damn it, Miya. You know what I mean. You don’t talk too much.”
The blond snorted.
“You only say that, because you yourself am not much of a talker and would rather listen to anyone else.”
Kiyoomi wanted to protest, but Miya wasn’t exactly wrong. Still, he also wasn’t right. The setter had the right to talk as much as he wanted. Nobody should dictate that. But looking around the table, even the ones who might have listened in on their conversation weren’t saying anything. Maybe it - again - was just something that Kiyoomi with his little experience couldn’t understand? That would be absurd though, wouldn’t it? He couldn’t possibly be this fucked up. Or could he?
The outside hitter let out a long, deep sigh and instead chose to take another big sip of his lukewarm beer.
—
In the following weeks, Kiyoomi watched Miya closely. After their last team outing that one Friday evening, he had thought about the blond’s new habits a bit more and decided it really couldn’t just be him. So, just to be one hundred percent sure, he had called his cousin.
Of course, having to admit to Motoya that he had so little experience that he couldn’t even be sure what were toxic behaviours in a relationship and what not was - degrading to say the least. But the hitter powered through it, reminding himself he was doing this for Miya’s sake. Their friendship was too precious for Kiyoomi to see it being destroyed, because he was ignorant to blaring red flags.
In the end, he was glad he had called Motoya. His cousin had definitely more experience when it came to long-term relationships and was always way more out-going, which ultimately resulted in him having more knowledge in terms of recognizing red flags in human behaviours. And what Motoya had told him, had actually scared Kiyoomi.
Not only were Ryota’s comments wrong, Miya’s reaction to them was dangerous. Romantic partners shouldn't dictate how the other one should behave or how they should look. People on and in itself shouldn’t change themselves just to appease another human being. And - here Kiyoomi should remark that he hadn’t told Motoya the name of the friend he was worried about - his cousin had recommended him that this friend shouldn’t let it get further than this, because if this boyfriend of his noticed the new power he was holding or if that was his goal, then the relationship not only could become toxic really quickly, but also abusive. And that, that was what scared Kiyoomi.
So, obviously concerned about one of his best friends, Kiyoomi observed. He took notice of every change in Miya’s routine and behaviour, cataloged every single remark the blond made about his boyfriend or the new plans in his life and for a while, Kiyoomi couldn’t find anything strange, anything that seemed out of place from the version of Miya he normally knew. But then, the outside hitter finally noticed something and immediately wished he didn’t.
He didn’t want Miya to be unhappy, to get trapped in a bad situation. If Kiyoomi was truthful with himself, he would probably do anything so that Miya could be happy and without any worries. If he’d thought about that a bit harder, he would realize that that wasn’t exactly a normal feeling to have for a good friend, but Kiyoomi didn’t. Instead, he focused on the fact that he didn’t know how to help the setter and had to watch how his friend continuously lost even more of his character.
The thing that Kiyoomi noticed was that the blond started wearing more modest clothing. It began with him not wearing his crop-tops anymore, then he stopped wearing his favourite training shorts and instead started wearing new, longer ones. From there it evolved ‘till eventually Miya even rejected a sponsorship offer, because it involved a fotoshooting in underwear.
Kiyoomi knew only a few months ago he would have been thrilled at the offer. Which made these new changes even more prominent, more worrying to the outside hitter.
The problem was that every website he visited about domestic violence and abuse said not to obviously stress the one in danger. And if there should be a confrontation, to keep it as light and as gentle as one could manage. Otherwise they may get spooked or react violently. Needless to say that he definitely didn’t know how to do that and it became glaringly obvious one day during training.
The setter had - again - missed the ball over a few millimeters and for everyone else that wouldn’t have been a problem, but they were professionals and Kiyoomi needed his sets to be perfect to fully function on court. Therefore, he was understandably irritated and the hot, all-consuming feeling of anger began to simmer in his stomach.
“Concentrate, Miya. This set was absolute shit, I can’t work like this!”, grumbled the outside hitter and glared at the blond.
“I’m trying all right? It’s not like you could fucking do better.”
“No, but that isn’t my job! So, I ultimately have to rely on you, but today I’m getting the feeling that you really want to test my fucking patience.”
“I’m not trying to test anything! I’m playing just fine, so leave it alone.”
Annoyed, Kiyoomi noticed how their teammates had started watching their little hissing fit with varying reactions. Inunaki looked like he was glad to get a distraction from training, a few others were just as annoyed as he himself was feeling and Meian seemed a little concerned, probably still deciding whether he should say something or not.
And looking back, maybe he should have done that, because only ten minutes later Kiyoomi finally snapped. It wasn’t how he wanted to react, Miya was still his friend. But the outside hitter also wasn’t some type of angel and his patience had been wearing thin. Not to mention how the blond had just always known how to really press his buttons.
“Enough! This is shit, Miya. You’re shit. I can see that your fucking pants are limiting your mobility so just change or I swear I will lose my mind.”
“I can’t! Also, you’re not some fragile princess, you can work for your sets.”
“I am working for them, but your passes are so bad that it doesn’t help. I can’t work for something when it doesn’t even exist!”, growled Kiyoomi and referred to Miya’s last set that had been so off that it didn’t even land near Kiyoomi, “Also what do you mean you can’t? Oh no, let me guess, it’s your stupid fucking boyfriend again, isn’t it?!”
He knew he stepped over that invisible line, broke that unspoken rule the moment these words left his mouth. But Kiyoomi had always been collected, up to that one moment, where someone pressed one of his buttons a little too hard and he forgot all about his patience and good upbringing.
“You know what? Fuck you, Sakusa! Even if it was because of Ryota, because he gets jealous and possessive easily, you’re just too pathetic to keep to yourself, huh? Has nobody ever loved you, you germ obsessed freak?!”
With that, Miya stormed out of their gym, leaving Kiyoomi and the rest of their team in shocked silence.
It took a few minutes for Kiyoomi to get all his senses back together. This wasn’t how he had wanted it to go, how he wanted to confront Miya. But he should have known, shouldn’t he? They were both hotheads in their own way and even though their friendship had grown over the last year, they didn’t just change their personalities. The only thing that had been different was that they hadn’t given each other a reason to lash out. But now it had happened.
The outside hitter was angry. Angry at Miya, for compromising their careers because of a stupid relationship, for attacking one of his insecurities and for being so blind when it came to his boyfriends antics. On the other hand, Kiyoomi was angry at himself. He had known it was a bad idea to confront Miya directly, especially in front of their teammates. He had also known that the blond would feel cornered, backed against an edge and would use everything to defend himself.
He wouldn’t get anywhere like this, if he didn’t ruin it already. But fuck, if he didn’t want to murder this stupid Ryota. In the past weeks, he had only pitied himself, but after today, after hearing Miya unofficially confirm what his boyfriend was doing, he felt blinding rage, felt the anger rushing through his veins, making him clench his fists. He would get that bastard. He would show Atsumu that he deserved so much better.
Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t know how he would do it, but he knew with every fiber of his being that he would protect Miya Atsumu.