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Looking at his reflection in the large windows of Lucius’s building, Quill tugged nervously on his t-shirt to straighten it, then rang the doorbell. It was the day of their first proper date at last, and Quill was feeling more than a little anxious about it. Paralysed with indecision about where to take Lucius, once they got back from their Highland holiday, he’d sent Sentry so many panicked texts as he tried to make his mind up that she’d finally just called him in the middle of the night, gently pointing out that neither of them was getting any sleep anyway. At last, though, he’d settled on the local art museum, which happened to have a special exhibit on. Now he was doing his best not to second-guess that decision - it was too late to change plans, he told himself firmly as he walked in.
“Hullo, Mr Quill!” the doorman, Howard, greeted him cheerily. “I’ll let Mr Lucius know you’re here. Will the lasses be along too?”
“N-no, it’s just - just me today,” Quill replied, stumbling over his words as a new worry struck him with that question. Howard was much the friendliest of the doormen, knowing them all by name and taking an interest in their comings and goings; he played in the same local folk group as Sentry did, too, and they’d become good friends. What should Quill say, if Howard asked why she wasn’t here?
Howard nodded and picked up the intercom phone, calling Lucius, then turned back to Quill. “He’ll be right down, he says. Are you off somewhere, then?”
“Yes, we’re going to - to the museum,” Quill said.
Providentially, the phone rang at that moment, and Howard had to answer it. Quill seized his chance at once to step away from the desk and any more questions, taking a seat on one of the sofas in the lobby. Immediately, he regretted sitting down; it would have been much more soothing to his nerves to be able to pace around. He nearly got to his feet again, but then realised Howard might notice he was nervous, and ask him about it, and then what would he do?
Quill gave himself a mental shake, realising how fast his breathing had become. He was not going to start their first date with a panic attack! Fortunately, before he could work himself up any further, the lift arrived at the lobby and Lucius stepped out. His face lit up as he saw Quill waiting for him, and he hurried over. For his part, Quill sprang to his feet, smiling just as hard as Lucius was.
“Hey,” he said, half-rising on tiptoes to kiss him, then dropping back down, unsure if Lucius would think it too forward.
The next second showed him that Lucius clearly didn’t, as he bent down to press a quick peck to Quill’s lips - interrupted by what Quill could only describe as a squeak from the direction of Howard’s desk. They both looked over at once, to see the small man diving behind his computer screen and tapping furiously (much too fast for it to be actual typing) at his keyboard.
“I forgot he’d see!” Lucius whispered to Quill, blushing bright red. “I’m sorry!”
“It’s fine,” Quill reassured him, blushing a little too, but also laughing. “Shall we go?”
Lucius nodded fervently and rushed Quill through the lobby. “Have a nice day, Howard,” he called back as he opened the door, his good manners winning out over his embarrassment.
Howard’s face appeared again from behind his computer, positively beaming at them. “You too, Mr Lucius! You lads have a wonderful day now.”
Giggling, the pair hurried out and set on their way.
“I’m so sorry, Quill,” Lucius repeated as they walked, face still red. “I was just so pleased to see you, I forgot Howard was there! I didn’t mean to embarrass you… I don’t know which was worse, this or the first time the girls caught us kissing.”
“It - it’s fine, I don’t mind.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Quill said, nerving himself to loop his hand through Lucius’s arm and squeeze it. “If we’re going to - to do this, people are going to see us kiss sometimes, we need - need to get used to it. And look how happy he was for us!”
Lucius nodded. “You’re right, of course,” he said, and pointedly kissed Quill’s cheek, making them both blush again. “Now, tell me more about this special exhibit thingie?”
The art museum was only a short walk from Lucius’s place, so it didn’t take them long to reach it. Quill grabbed a floor plan at the entrance out of habit, but didn’t have much chance to use it as an excited Lucius pulled him along. To Quill’s relief, it was clear at once that this had been a good idea; Lucius was obviously delighted, exclaiming over one new favourite after another. As for Quill himself, he usually preferred science museums, but he found a new appreciation for the paintings they saw as Lucius pointed things out to him - a clever use of colour here, an impressive perspective there. And with the art to discuss, there was no risk of the awkward silences Quill had feared - for all the time they’d spent together since they’d met, it had been rare for them to be alone together; usually, Sentry, Nova, and Aila were there too.
“Look at the detail here on this sleeve, Quillie! Isn’t it amazing?” Lucius was saying now, with an enthusiastic wave of one hand as he held Quill’s in the other.
“It really is,” Quill agreed, impressed, as he examined the intricate lace it depicted.
As Lucius continued to enthuse, though, Quill found himself watching the other man as much as he looked at the paintings in front of them. ‘I love you’, the thought drifted through his head, and he froze for a moment at the realisation.
“... and the highlights here - Quill? Are you all right?” Lucius broke off in mid-sentence, looking at him worriedly.
“Oh! Yes - yes, sorry, just - just zoned out for a moment,” Quill said quickly.
“I’m sorry, am I going on too much?” Lucius asked, looking embarrassed. “Just tell me! I don’t mean to bore you.”
Quill shook his head emphatically. “No! You could never bore me, I lo-like listening to you. And this is great! I don’t know much about art really, but I’m learning… What were you saying about the highlights?”
As Quill had hoped, that was enough to prompt Lucius back into talking about the painting. Quill nodded along, scolding himself mentally. How stupid he’d been to freeze like that! So he loved Lucius - well, of course he did, how could he not, when Lucius was so amazing? He wouldn’t say anything, not yet… It was too soon, and he wanted Lucius to enjoy this first date, to just have fun, without feeling pressured in any way to say it back, or uncomfortable because he couldn’t. He’d tell him when it felt right. For now, he should focus on enjoying this too.
The walk back to Lucius’s after the museum felt much too short to Quill. Despite his best efforts at lengthening it, turning down side streets and dawdling as much as he could (efforts, he was relieved to see, that Lucius either didn’t notice or was happy to go along with), all too soon they were outside the building.
“Well, this is me,” Lucius said, coming to a halt and smiling at him. “I’d ask you in, but I think Howard’s still on duty…”
Quill laughed. “He is! I can see him from here, trying to hide behind his computer again,” he said, nodding to the windows. “Are - are you going to tell him we’re dating?”
“I think he noticed!”
“Well, yes, but you - you know what I mean, he might die of curiosity if you don’t actually confirm it.”
Lucius laughed. “I know, I’ll tell him. And speaking of dying of curiosity, I’m surprised Nova isn’t phoning me already!”
“I promised Sentry I’d tell her how it went…” Quill trailed off, not quite daring to ask if Lucius had had a good time.
“It went wonderfully, Birdie,” Lucius said softly, the look in his eyes showing he knew Quill had been afraid to ask. “It was the most perfect first date ever, thank you so much! Did you enjoy it?”
“I did, I had a wonderful time,” Quill replied, smiling at him.
Quill hesitated a moment, then tugged Lucius back a couple of steps, out of sight of the front desk. It was one thing for Howard to have seen them greet each other with a kiss earlier, but he wanted a bit of privacy now. Reaching up, he cupped the side of Lucius’s face, threading his fingers through his long blond hair, then pulled him close and kissed him deeply.
“Oh, good,” Lucius said, sounding rather dazed, as they pulled apart. Then he added quickly, “Can I take you on a second datie, then?”
Quill laughed, remembering Lucius pouting, back in the Highlands, at Quill having asked him out before he could ask Quill. “You were waiting to ask that, weren’t you? Yes, I - I’d love that. I’d really love that.”
Quill glanced quickly around the restaurant as Lucius ushered him in, trying to take it all in without looking like he was gawking. To his relief, while it was clearly much fancier than any restaurant he would normally go to, it was with a quiet elegance, rather than any obvious ostentation. Still, he couldn’t help feeling a little anxious as a waiter led them to a table set with a gleamingly white tablecloth and rather more cutlery than Quill could imagine ever needing, and handed them their menus with a bow. He hoped he wouldn’t do anything to embarrass Lucius… The tables were well-spaced, he was glad to see, so even if he did need to ask Lucius what some fork was for or something, no-one would overhear.
At least he didn’t feel underdressed - which was thanks to Lucius, ironically enough. Earlier in the year, when their university had hosted a formal dance, Lucius had fretted about what to wear so much that he’d managed to transmit his worries to all his friends (even Aila, Quill suspected, though she'd claimed to just be going along with it for fun), and they had asked him for fashion advice. After going through their wardrobes like a whirlwind - grudgingly approving a couple of Nova’s dresses as back-ups if nothing better could be found, gazing in horrified astonishment at Sentry’s admittedly tiny wardrobe, struggling to say something nice about any of Aila’s clothes as she grinned evilly at him, throwing his hands up in despair at the oversized suit Quill had inherited from an older cousin - he’d dragged them all shopping. Quill had drawn the line at going to an actual tailor, but Lucius had managed to find him a suit he could afford that actually fitted him properly, and he was wearing it tonight, much to Lucius’s delight. Lucius’s effusive compliments notwithstanding, Quill was sure he didn’t look as good as Lucius did in his dark purple suit and colourful cravat, but he thought he at least fitted in well enough.
“This is lovely, Lucius,” he said, smiling at him across the table as he opened his menu.
“Oh, good! I’m so happy you like it. Now, I checked the menu before I made the reservation, they have lots of vegetarian dishes and I think there’s plenty of things you’ll like, but if there isn’t anything do say, we’ll figure something out,” Lucius rambled in a way that betrayed his nervousness to Quill all too well.
“I’m sure there’ll be something,” Quill started to say, as he scanned the first page, then looked up in astonishment. “Lucius, I - I’ve barely glanced at this and I can already see about five different things that look amazing! The only problem I’m going to have is choosing.”
“Don’t worry about that! Get everything you like,” Lucius replied.
“Lucius…”
“Yes, yes, I know it’s extravagant! But it’s a date, I’m allowed to be extravagant on a date,” Lucius said, laughing rather guiltily - his friends had been trying to get him to be more careful with money, with mixed success. “Let me treat you, please.”
Quill couldn’t help melting at his pleading eyes. “All right, I won’t say anything. But I’m not ordering everything, I couldn’t possibly eat it all!”
Still, he let Lucius talk him into several courses, each more delicious than the last, resolutely refusing to do the mental arithmetic on how much this would be costing. Quill knew how much Lucius loved treating his friends, and he loved seeing his satisfied smile each time Quill caved and let him order something that he insisted they absolutely had to try.
There were a couple of awkward moments at the start of the dinner; Quill was still a little nervous about the magnificence of the place, and Lucius - after a couple of questions that thoroughly puzzled Quill - admitted that Nova had sent him an article of tips for conversation starters that were proving less than helpful when his date was his best friend! But once they’d laughed over that, the conversation began to flow more naturally, and they both relaxed. As they shared what Quill was sure was the best walnut cake he’d ever tasted, though, he noticed that Lucius seemed a bit preoccupied.
“Lucius, is - is everything ok?” he asked, after Lucius made a nonsensical reply to the amusing (at least in Quill’s opinion) anecdote Quill had just told, apparently distracted by watching the bubbles of the champagne he’d insisted on getting with dessert.
Lucius jumped, then blurted out, “Willyoubemyboyfriend?” all in one breath.
“I - ” Quill began, startled.
“No, wait!” Lucius cut across him, screwing up his face in a mixture of shame and annoyance. “I was going to do it properly, I had it all worked out! Let me ask you properly, please.” At Quill’s still-stunned nod, he went on, “Quill, would you do me the honour of being my boyfriend? I know this is just our second date, but we’re best friends, we know each other, and I really, really like you. I'd be so happy and so proud to be your boyfriend, so… Will you?” Before Quill could get a word in, he added rapidly, as if afraid Quill would say no, “Or will you think about it, at least? Please?”
“Lucius! Yes!” Quill managed to interject, before Lucius could send himself further into a panic. “Yes, of - of course I’ll be your boyfriend. I’m so - so happy you asked.”
“Oh, Quill,” was all Lucius said, but his trembling smile and shining eyes spoke volumes.
Quill beamed back at him, eyes also damp. For a second, he thought of telling Lucius that he loved him right then; but Lucius had obviously planned for this moment, had had to work up the courage to ask that question, and Quill didn’t want to overshadow it. He wanted so badly to hug Lucius at once, to launch himself across the table and kiss him again and again… But he knew his best friend - his boyfriend! Lucius was his boyfriend now! - better than that, knew Lucius’s sense of propriety would be outraged at such a public display. So he held back, only allowing himself to reach out to take Lucius’s hand, squeezing it with a tightness he hoped would convey at least a little of everything he was feeling.
Lucius squeezed back just as tightly, then lifted Quill’s hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it delicately. Which was, a wide-eyed Quill decided, the most romantic thing that had ever happened… Suddenly, he was grateful he’d restrained himself, so he got the chance to experience this.
(He did kiss his boyfriend - his boyfriend! - silly outside the restaurant later, though, while they waited for the cab Lucius had insisted on so they could both drink. There was such a thing as too much restraint!)
“Stop, stop,” Quill gasped between bursts of laughter. “I can’t breathe!”
Lucius nodded, laughing too hard himself to be able to reply in words. The film they’d decided to see for their third date had turned out to be so utterly terrible it looped back round to being unintentionally hilarious, and they’d been making fun of it all the walk back. Now, they tried to calm down a bit - not too successfully, as just glancing at each other kept making them giggle again.
“Here… here we are,” Quill said, still trying to hold back laughter, as they reached the door of Lucius’s building.
“Oh!” Abruptly, Lucius stopped laughing. “I hadn’t realised we were here already. Would you… would you like to come in? For… for coffee?”
“I’d love to!” Quill jumped at the offer, delighted at the chance to spend more time with Lucius, and keep mocking the travesty of a film they'd just seen.
“Uh, great! Come in then!”
Hand in hand, they crossed the lobby, nodding to the night doorman, and took the lift. Quill looked curiously at Lucius as they went up, realising his earlier amusement had completely vanished. If anything, he seemed nervous now, but Quill couldn’t think why. It wasn't as if this was the first time Quill was seeing his flat or anything, he and their friends spent half their time here! Before he could make up his mind to ask, though, they’d reached Lucius’s door.
“Well, here we are,” Lucius said unnecessarily as he unlocked it and ushered Quill in.
“I know, I’ve been here before,” Quill laughed. “I can't remember, though, where do you keep your coffee?”
“Uh, what?”
Quill stopped on his way towards the kitchen to look back, puzzled, at Lucius, who was still standing beside the front door.
“Where’s the coffee?” he repeated. “Sorry, I - I know you’re the host, I just wanted to give you a hand…”
“Oh! No, no, please, I’m happy to have your help. I just - never mind! Coffee!” Lucius rapidly replied, hurrying past Quill into the kitchen. “Actual coffee,” he added in an undertone - to himself, Quill thought, but he’d heard it.
Actual coffee? What on earth was Lucius talking about? Had he just realised he only had instant, or something? Surely he knew Quill wouldn’t mind either way?
“Instant’s fine, or tea, or - or anything you like,” Quill said, poking his head tentatively through the kitchen door to find Lucius rummaging through his cupboards.
“It’s fine, I have proper coffee! But of course you can have something else if you’d prefer,” Lucius replied, standing up with a coffee pot in one hand and a distinctly nervous look on his face.
“Coffee’s good, whatever you want… What - what’s going on?” Quill asked.
“Nothing!” Lucius said, much too brightly. “Coffee coming right up!”
With that, he swung around and busied himself with the coffee pot, precluding further conversation. Quill stared at his back, baffled. Actual coffee… if he wasn’t worrying about only having instant, then what… And why was he so nervous… Oh! No. No, surely not… And yet what else could it be…
“Lucius? Can… can you leave that a moment?” he asked slowly. “I - I want to - to talk to you.”
“Of course,” Lucius replied, setting everything down and turning back to him, still with that nervous expression. “What is it?”
“What did you mean by ‘actual coffee’?” Quill asked tentatively. He was afraid of being more direct, if he was wrong this would be so awkward…
“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” Lucius answered quickly - but Quill could see the blush beginning to rise along those lovely cheekbones.
He had to ask. “When - when you asked me up for - for coffee, did you - did you mean - ” losing his nerve, Quill rephrased to, “did you not mean… well… coffee?”
Lucius blushed even more, and Quill knew he’d guessed right. “I… well, I just thought - it’s our third date, and… aren’t there, you know, rules?”
Quill blinked, trying to work that one out. “I… the only ‘rule’ about the third date I’ve ever heard of is that - that, um…” He could feel himself going just as red as Lucius was, but one of them had to say it. “You shouldn’t, um, sleep - sleep together before then? I've never heard that you have to do it then, if that’s what you mean.”
“Oh no.” Lucius buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot!”
“No, you’re not!” Quill reached out and gently pulled his hands away, so he could look into Lucius’s eyes. “It - it’s the ‘rules’ that are silly, not you.” Fleetingly, he wondered how the same man who’d been so nervous about asking him to be his boyfriend on their second date had seemingly accepted a rule that they had to sleep together on the third without question, but he didn’t voice the thought. Lucius was feeling silly enough already! “None of those ‘rules’ matter, they’re all stupid. What matters is - is what we want. What you want… What do you want? Did… do you… want to… well…”
“I…” Lucius hesitated. “I thought you might be expecting… I don’t want you to be disappointed…”
“Oh, no. No no no,” Quill said, shaking his head firmly. “You need to want it!” In the back of his head, horrifyingly, memories of his mother giving him a similar lecture rose up, which was the last thing Quill wanted to be thinking of right now… But Mireeka had had a point in the things she'd told him even if it had been the most embarrassing conversation they'd ever had, he realised, and it sounded like Lucius needed to hear them. “Ok, here’s an actually good rule. You shouldn’t ever, ever do something like that just because someone else expects it, or you think they expect it… You shouldn’t ever do these things unless you want to do them.”
“But I want to make you happy,” Lucius argued.
“I am happy! I’m so, so happy with you. But I won’t - won't be happy if I'm worried you’re doing things you don't want to do, just because you think I want them. What do you want, Lucius?”
Lucius bit his lip, looking torn. “I… I’m nervous, but I’ve never - I’m always going to be nervous, and I trust you…”
Quill sighed, feeling almost certain that Lucius was still putting what he thought Quill would want ahead of what he actually wanted himself. “Does it… does it help if I say that I - I don’t think I’m ready?”
“Oh!” Lucius was clearly surprised, but the relief in his face was also unmistakable to Quill. Then he frowned. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you? I know you’ve dated other people, you’ve got more experience - hard to have less, of course,” he added self-deprecatingly.
“Not that much!” Quill retorted. “And it was quite - quite a while ago…” Before he lost his arm and so much of his self-confidence, Quill thought, but he wasn’t going to bring that in. “I mean it, really. Please, Lucius, be honest with me. What do you want?”
“I’d never lie to you, Quill.” Lucius looked hurt.
“You just asked me if I was saying things to make you feel better,” Quill pointed out gently, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen into Lucius’s face. “I wouldn't lie to you either, but I can’t - can’t help worrying that you’re still trying - still telling me what you think I want to hear, still trying not to - to disappoint me.”
“Oh!” Lucius’s hurt expression turned to one of shame-faced realisation. “I’m sorry, Quill, you’re right. I didn’t mean to imply you were lying. It’s just, it's not that I don't want to - to - ” he came to a stammering halt, blushing again.
“We should probably be able to at least say it before we do it,” Quill teased him fondly.
As he'd hoped, that got a laugh, and Lucius relaxed a bit. “You're probably right! I do want to - ” he took a deep breath, then continued “ - to sleep with you, one day. But… it's too soon. I'm sorry…”
“Don't be sorry! I feel the same way. I don’t - don’t want to rush anything, and tonight would - would feel like rushing. I want us both to be sure, to want it… I don’t know if it’ll be in another three dates, or thirty, or, or three hundred, but… I want us both to be ready.”
“That sounds good,” Lucius said, nodding slowly, then added in a small voice, “I don't know if it’ll be three… but is it okay if I hope it's less than three hundred?”
“Of course it is. There's no specific number, it'll just be when it feels right for both of us,” Quill said, smiling up at him, and pulled him into a soft hug. “When we're both sure, love.”
“Love?” Lucius’s voice went suddenly high-pitched.
Quill winced and pulled back. “I - I didn’t - I wasn’t sure when - when to say it,” he admitted. “I love you, Lucius. I didn’t mean to - to spring it on you like that, and you don’t have to - ”
“I love you, Quill,” Lucius interrupted, his heart in his eyes.
“Really? You're not - not just saying it because - because you think I want - ”
“Of course not! Not after everything we've just said. I mean it, Quill, I love you. I love you so much,” Lucius said, pulling him back into his arms and kissing him with an enthusiasm that wiped away the last of Quill’s doubts.
“What should we - what do you want to do now?” Quill asked at last, head nestled against Lucius’s chest.
“We could… have some actual coffee? And just… talk?” Lucius suggested tentatively.
Quill smiled up at him. “That sounds perfect, love.”