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It had been a nice dream, Alois mused to himself as he stared at the puffy-eyed, runny nosed toddler that was currently clutching onto his bed sheets. He ran a hand through his hair as his wife slept soundly beside him, unaware of their son's distress.
"What's the problem, Elijah?" The toddler sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Alois cringed, but held back from saying anything about the disgusting display. He didn't feel like being blamed for making the toddler cry, again.
"I tink someone tryin' ta kill Awi." Seeing as Elijah hadn't completely mastered speaking, he still had trouble pronouncing his sister, Alice's, name. Alois quietly sighed before grabbing Elijah under the arms and hauling him up onto his lap.
"Why would someone want to kill Alice?" Elijah crinkled his brow, not understanding how his father didn't know this.
"Awi is reawwy mean! An' she rich, so they wants her money. Pwus," Elijah grabbed Alois' shirt, to make sure he was listening. "I heard scweams an' Awi was waughin'! An', an' Awi is a big weirdo, so if someone was tryin' ta kill her, she'd laugh!"
Alois barked out a short laugh. "Listen, Alice is watching a horror movie or something. I don't know why, it's like," He looked at the clock on the dresser. "3 in the morning. No one's killing Ali. Not yet anyway. So go away." Eli pouted and crossed his arms.
"They is so! And then gonna come and gets me and Mommy's gonna get you for wettin' me gets hurt! So ha!" Elijah stuck out his tongue and Alois scowled.
"Listen, you can sleep here so your big bad 'Mommy' can protect you." Elijah clapped his pudgy hands together before climbing off Alois' lap to snuggle in between Alois and Lola. Alois rolled his eyes before turning his back to Elijah and going back to sleep.
The next morning, Lola slowly opened her eyes before sitting up tiredly and looking around the room. Alois was already up, judging by emptiness next to her. All that was beside her was a small head of hair- wait. Lola slowly began to pull the blankets down before screaming at the tiny toddler in her bed.
"ALOIS, YOU DRANK THE PINK STUFF IN THE BATHROOM AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU!" The kid next to her squinted his eyes in confusion.
"What's you talkin' 'bout, Mommy?"
Lola began to pull at her hair in frustration. "I told you to stop calling me that, you creep! It's weird enough my DAD did it, I don't need you doing it, too!" The toddler's eyes began to water as he started to sniffle.
"Stop yelling at me..." He said as he began to cry. Lola's eyes widened, confused as to why 'Alois' was crying.
"Oh, but if I make the kid cry, it's a national problem." Alois said from his place in the doorway. Lola's eyes widened as she realized that she had been yelling at her son, and not her idiotic husband. She hurriedly grabbed Eli and brought him to her lap, in an attempt to comfort him.
"Shhhhhh, shhhhhh. It's okay. I'm not mad at you. I thought I was talking to your Dad. Shhhhhhhh, you aren't in trouble, angel." She stroked his hair before turning to Alois. "Why didn't you tell me he was in here?" She asked sharply.
Alois scowled. "How was I supposed to know my wife was gonna go on a rampage because she thought I drank the Pepto Bismol!" Lola would have thrown her hands up in the air in exasperation if she wasn't holding her son.
"Not Pepto Bismol, for the last time!" Elijah leaned away from his Mom's shoulder, still sniffling quietly.
"Mommy," He tugged on the sleeve of her nightgown. "Daddy tried to feed me to's da killers."
"HE DID WHAT!"
"I DID NO SUCH THING!"