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You eat the whole thing, candles and all.
> Nepeta: wear ALL of the clothes, they're yours now.
Start Over | Go BackNepeta: Eat the Cake.

You dip your DIGITS in the cake and give the creamy goodness a couple testing laps. The flavor is very foreign, slightly minty, with a piney nuance. Occasionally your teeth gnash against particularly chewy bits.

Pistachio. It is a pistachio cake.
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Start Over | Go BackNepeta: Read note on dresser.

You've had it up to your SQUAWK PIPE with all this fecal funny nonsense you're so mad you think you're going to oh hey what's that over here.



Heehee, pardon?
> Nepeta: Eat the Cake.
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Who the fuck puts a FAKE TURD in their drawers? What the fuck just appeared at the bottom of your HUD?!?!?

WHAT KIND OF HORRIBLE PLACE IS THIS?!??!?!
> Nepeta: Read note on dresser.
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You fall victim to one of the oldest practical japes ever conceived; The ol' FAKE TURD.

You feel the final vestiges of your SANITY slipping beyond the EVENT HORIZON as a prankster somewhere else in PARADOX SPACE laughs at your expense.

You have no doubt that if you were that prankster yourself, you would go to great lengths to never reveal the contents of your drawers in case somebody one day falls for your SHITTY CREAM SURPRISE.
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Is... Is that a fucking
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But wait, the heck is that??? Somewhere in the deepest reaches of the drawer, you feel something! Something... Moist, and unpleasantly squishy. Oh boy!
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All mediocre things must come to a pathetic, spluttering demise. Your quest for arms to retrieve is over.

This is just your average CLOTHING DRAWER. Whoever lives in this hive must be very high up on the HEMOSPECTRUM to be wearing ostentatious clothes like these, not to mention, extremely fashionable. You'd KILL to be allowed to wear a snazzy spade on your chest instead of your silly old sign.

You don't know what the deal with the TINY MOTOR CARRIAGE is. You guess it's kinda neat.
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What have we here?
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Start Over | Go BackNepeta: Retrieve arms from drawer.

It's probably very impolite to snoop in somebody's DRAWERS, but you want to see if there are ARMS for you to retrieve in there. Also, trolls don't really care about things like not rummaging around people's belongings.
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YEOWCH! Way to go, dumbdumb! You think you're going to keep the messing with the fabric of reality to a minimum from now on.
> Nepeta: Retrieve arms from drawer.
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YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
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Start Over | Go BackNepeta: Stop being Homestuck.

You attempt escaping the screaming nightmare that has swallowed your life whole by foregoing dealing with the format entirely.
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Now, you're no authority on hive decor, but even you can tell that something about the place you've mysteriously turned up at is fundamentally wrong. The lack of SHIELDING DRAPERY, for starters, has forced you to improvise - not to mention, the absurd amount of PASTRIES scattered around you is giving you the HEEBIE JEEBIES.

There is no sight of your beloved LUSUS anywhere, and in your sheer distress, you can't even bring yourself to speak about your VARIOUS INTERESTS.

You have no desire to stick around 'til the HIVE OWNER returns, but the RAGING SUNLIGHT outside makes escape implausible.

You've got a bad case of THE MONDAYS.

What will you do?
> Nepeta: Stop being Homestuck.
Start Over | Go BackNEPETAQUEST 2022

God goes by one name, and so do you. You are NEPETA LEIJON.
> :33