Chapter Text
Knock! Knock! knock!
“Fucking finally!” Anthony muttered to himself as he hauled himself off the sofa tucking, Templeton, under his arm as he went. The black and white kitten purred happily against his chest sending something happy and proud flickering in him for just a moment.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“Jesus Christ, I’ve waited ninety minutes you’d think they could wait 45 bloody seconds!”
He snatched up his wallet, juggling it along with theta and through the door open.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m coming! I just-Oh my god!”
Anthony felt his stomach drop in surprise at the sight that greeted him. A woman was on the other side of the door, not so very unusual he supposed, except her knuckles were white as she gripped the edges of a trench coat. The coat itself was pulled wide so he couldn’t help but avoid the sight of what was underneath which in this case was the tiniest set of black lace underwear Anthony had ever seen
“You aren’t my Chinese food, are you?”
And the woman’s mouth dropped open in horror.
Two hours earlier
Frigid Bitch.
Kate couldn’t stop thinking about it. Hadn’t stopped thinking about it since she’d stood in Baz’s flat with her fingernails biting into the palm of her hands while she’d stared back at the man who’d spat the words at her.
She’d let out a hollow laugh, one that she’d tried to push out, and used it to cover the hurt when she’d rolled her eyes. “Right well, I’m going to get the fuck out of here.”
“Yeah, this is fucking done.” He’d scoffed, barely looking at her. And somehow that had made her angrier than anything else that had been thrown at her in the last half an hour.
“You’re fucking right it’s done!” She’d marched towards the door, thrown it open, and called back before she slammed the door. “Arsehole!”
She’d still been thinking about it on the tube on the way home while she’d refused to let the tears stinging her eyes fall down her cheeks.
“I thought you were at his house tonight.” Edwina had sighed when she’d burst through the door of their flat.
“Oh yeah.” Kate’s voice had sounded hollow even to her own ears and it had caught Edwina’s attention straight away, sending her brow furrowing. “After he called me a frigid bitch we decided to break up instead.”
“He called you a what?!” Edwina had practically spat the words back at her, anger already flickering over her face. “I’m going over there, and I’m going to show that Twat a-”
“Leave it, Eddie.” Kate had flopped onto the sofa, sighing tiredly. “Honestly, I don’t think I fucking care. What an arsehole.”
Edwina had stared back at her for a long moment, gauging whether what she’d said was true or not, whether she really was upset and refusing to show it. And maybe she had been, maybe only a touch more than she’d let on, but mostly she’d just been hurt by the fact that she’d wasted her time. She’d been the one who’d wanted to split up two months ago and decided not to. And now he’d won.
“I think… this probably calls for alcohol.” Edwina had mused, already waiting for her phone to connect to whomever she’d called. “Soph, yeah. It’s happened.” A pause. “Yeah, I’d bring two bottles.”
Kate had groaned as Newton had leapt up onto the sofa beside her, laying his head on her lap with a huff. “We’re not going to get wasted.”
“We absolutely are going to get wasted.” Edwina had said dismissively, clearing her throat before she’d called out. “Matt?”
“Yeah Babe?” Matthew Bagwell had appeared as if she’d summoned him, startling Kate more than a little.”
“Jesus how long has he been here?!”
“A while,” Edwina said distractedly. “Can you go over to Baz’s flat and punch him for us?”
“Honestly, no.” Matthew had said a little sheepishly. “But I’d be very happy to talk to him about the feminist agenda and treating women with respect.”
It had brought a small smile to Kate’s face, at her sister’s boyfriend. Always so gentle. “Thanks, Matty, but I think you’d be wasting your time there.”
“I think I would be as well, honestly. Sorry, Kate. He’s a dick, not even I can fix that.”
“You’re going to need to go then, honey.” Edwina had sighed, kissing his forehead as he leant down. “We’re getting hammered.”
“Have fun then, I’ll order food for the morning.” He’d practically bounded from the flat, tossing out one last, Love You! Before he went.
“Love you too!” Edwina had said a soft smile on her face as the door closed. “He’s sweet.”
“He’s very sweet.”
They’d let the silence engulf them for a long moment, sat with Edwina’s chin on Kate’s shoulder, and their arms wrapped around one another gently before Edwina spoke again. “I’m sorry, Katie.”
The tears choked the back of her throat again and more for the sadness in her sister’s voice than herself. “Don’t be. I knew he was a dick when we started dating.”
“That doesn’t mean you deserve this.”
Kate had forced herself to shrug, sighing sadly. “Probably not.”
“Definitely not.”
Sophie had burst through the door half an hour later and found them just the same way, tucked up together with the tiny puppy across their laps and a scoff in her voice. “No, No. We are not mourning that fucking arsehole. Unless you killed him?”
“I refrained,” Kate said dryly, biting back the laugh it had brought to her lips.
“I haven’t ruled it out yet,” Edwina said primly, holding her hand out for the alcohol Sophie had brought with her. “Foul words were spoken.”
“What the fuck did he say?”
“Pour me a drink and I’ll tell you all about it.” Kate had dragged herself off the sofa, finally shucking off her coat, despite everything, feeling lighter than she had in months.
The room was spinning. Kate was sure it was. Or maybe she was spinning, she wasn’t entirely sure, couldn’t be really, because nothing would stop moving long enough for her to figure it out.
She’d lost count of how many drinks she’d had and how much vodka she’d been putting in them truly as she lay on the floor, her glass seeming to refill itself again and again without any of them making any move to do so. The light was filling the whole room, floating in the air, dust particles hanging just above it like snowflakes slowly floating to the earth and still, his snide voice filled the room.
Frigid Bitch
Frigid Bitch
Frigid Bitch
I just don’t find you attractive anymore. I don’t actually know if I ever did.
“Do you know what that fucking arsehole said to me?” Her voice sounded shaky, thick and wrong on her tongue as she swatted wildly at Edwina beside her on the living room floor.
“I’m an inconsiderate fucking twat hopefully.” Edwina slurred, her eyes closed again the swaying of the room.
“I pretend I’m only wearing moisturiser but it’s definitely foundation.” Sophie snipped. “If you wanna wear foundation just fucking wear foundation! You look like more of an arsehole saying you aren’t wearing foundation! It’s the lie that’s the problem! Not the foundation!”
“Wow, Soph, tell us how you really feel.” Kate couldn’t stop the ridiculous giggle that rose in her throat, stupid and happy, bursting free of her chest.
“I didn’t realise you had strong thoughts on this.”
“Apparently that was a trigger for me.” Sophie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And we can agree, he wears too much product in his hair and it looks stupid.”
“We are agreed on that.” Kate shrugged. “He thinks it makes him look distinguished.”
“It absolutely doesn’t.”
“What did he say?” Edwina nudged her, her eyes slightly glazed as Kate was sure her own was.
“He said I just don’t find you attractive anymore. I don’t actually know if I ever did.”
“Oh, fucking Boo!” Sophie practically hissed.
“Oh Fuck that guy!”
“Right?!” Kate sat up, making her head spin a little and her stomach lurch. “I’m hot as fuck right?!”
The false confidence had settled in her chest, overtaking whatever else she’d felt since she’d left his house, and the lurch in her stomach and the haze that had settled over her couldn’t bring it down.
“He is a fucking dickhead, Kate!” Edwina slurred, vodka rolling down her hand, onto the carpet.
“And his name’s fucking Basil!” Sophie agreed
“I can’t believe I wasted all this fucking time on that absolute twat!” Kate groaned, the room spinning again. “He actually fucking said the words, I don’t think I even find you attractive anymore. Who the fuck says that?! I’m hot as fuck! And my tits are amazing! He should be so lucky!”
“Fucking wankers!” Edwina called
“Pure twattery, honestly.”
“You know what you should do?” Edwina slapped Kate on the back of the head. “You need to show him exactly how fucking hot you are!”
“Yes!” Sophie agreed! “Take your tits for a night out, break up with him, and kick him in the balls!”
“Take my tits for a night out?” She couldn’t stop the giddy laughter that rolled off her chest as she flopped back against the floor. “What the hell does that mean?”
Edwina sat bolt upright, something clumsy and wordless passing between her and Sophie, something wicked in her smile. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“I think I am.” Sophie shot up as well. “I already have the coat.”
“Does anyone want to tell me what’s going on?” Kate sighed, closing her eyes against the haze of the room.
Edwina’s hands closed firmly around her wrists, dragging her to her feet clumsily so they fell against one another, clinging tightly for balance as they swayed together. “You need to go and put on your sexiest lingerie.”
“Baz never even got to see that. Why would I want to -?”
“Because we’re going to show him exactly what he’s missing!” Sophie crowed, pushing her towards the bedroom, and in all the haze, it truly had seemed like a good idea.
She’d be able to see the smile slide straight off his smug face, one last victory.
“You’re sure this is a good idea right?” Kate could see the slurring in her own words as they stood on the curb, Sophie’s trench coat tied so tightly around her she could hardly breathe, the lace of her lingerie scratching against her chest a little.
“This is an incredible idea!” Edwina was clutching the lamppost a few steps away for support, staring up at the sky. “The stars are pretty!”
“Those are just lights, Eddie.” Sophie sighed, though she wasn’t faring much better, leaning against the taxi that had just appeared, “But she’s right, this is our best idea ever.” Her hands gripped Kate’s arms, shoving her inside, “What’s the worst that can happen? Take a picture if you get a chance!”
Kate was much drunker than she had realised. She realised that the second the car started moving, crawling through the Friday night traffic, light rain pattering against the roof of the car.
“You aren’t gonna vom are you?” The Taxi driver said gruffly as they slowed to the curb.
“I dunno.” Kate slurred, clawing at the door of the taxi until it opened. “When I see my ex I might.”
The man chuckled as she swayed on the seat. “Break-up booty call. No judgement.”
“None needed!” She called back her legs threatening to give out entirely as she stumbled towards the door of the building. “We definitely won’t be having sex!”
The entire world tilted on its access as the lift made its way up, Kate’s mind wandering.
Tomorrow I’m gonna treat myself to a fancy coffee. That’ll be nice I’ll like - No, No, focus on Baz. Focus on how dumb his face is going to look when he sees what an absolute fucking smoke show you - Oh! The door’s open!
She stumbled forward, past all the identical doors on and on and - Kate’s stomach lurched as she looked at Baz’s front door her head spinning but she forced herself to stand straight, squat her shoulders.
Kate. Listen to me, fucking listen to me. You are going to stand here, show him your tits and how amazing they are, during which you will not vomit on his shoes. And then you can get a McFlurry on the way home. Okay.
She reached her hand out, knocking heavily on the door, waiting impatiently as the seconds ticked by, tugging the tie of Sophie’s coat free before she knocked again, muttering under her breath. “Fucking hurry up you stupid -”
The door swung open and Kate wobbled on her stilettos as she pulled the coat open, a thrill of something victorious shooting through her as she flashed her lingerie in Baz’s smug-
“You aren’t my Chinese food, are you?”
It wasn’t Baz.
The man standing in front of her wasn’t Baz. He had dark hair like Baz did to be fair, and his eyes were dark but he was taller by several inches, his mouth opened in surprise as he stared down at her breasts for several awkward moments.
“Fuck, no, I’m not.”
The man swallowed convulsively, clearly forcing his eyes to his face as he ruffled his hair uncomfortably, clutching a tiny kitten closer to his chest, covering its eyes while his cheeks flushed. “Um - look - I’m not really sure what this is but -”
“Kate?! What the fuck are you doing?!”
She spun around at the sound of Baz’s irate voice across the corridor. He was standing there with his shirt open, a half-naked woman peeking out behind him and suddenly all Kate felt was anger.
“What am I doing?! What the fuck are you doing?!”
“We broke up!” He spat back angrily, his arms crossed over his chest
The woman behind Baz darted around them, “Look, I’m gonna go.”
“And I’ll just -“ The man she’d accidentally flashed practically squeaked, gesturing back into the apartment she’d mistaken for Baz’s.
Kate could feel all of the frustration she’d felt for the last four months and bitten her tongue again and again rising up in her chest as she turned back towards him. “I know we broke up! I was coming here to remind you!”
And she barely registered the close of the door behind her.
______________________________
“Hey Ben, no big deal, Balthazar’s fine though he’s clearly plotting Templeton’s death. Just wanted to check in with you and gauge…” Anthony trailed off trying to phrase it correctly. “Well, I guess how much of an arsehole I am if I’m listening to the neighbours argue? Mostly because I think one of them is the love of my life and it seems like they just broke up.” He paused again. “Yeah, don’t call me back for this. I already know what the answer will be: A huge arsehole.”
Anthony dropped his phone into his lap, sighing as he dropped his head back against the back of the sofa. Templeton mewed quietly in his lap, pawing at his hand.
“Don’t judge me, buddy, I know this is a low point.”
“Oh, how fucking dare you?!” The woman’s voice echoed outside again followed by the man across the hall.
“Jesus Kate! I am not going over this again! It’s not cheating to text other girls!”
“It is if it’s pictures of your dick, Basil!”
Something a little indignant flared in Anthony’s chest on her behalf as he scoffed at the arsehole who lived across the hall.
Something had sparked in Anthony’s chest as he’d stared at the woman and no, it hadn’t been the fact that her breasts had looked absolutely incredible with the black lace pressed tightly against him and the stocking against her legs had made him want to drop to his knees in front of her at that very moment.
He’d forced his eyes to hers with his cheeks burning, his hand darting up to cover Templeton’s eyes and his heart had hammered in his chest as their eyes had met. Her eyes were dark, even if they were a little glazed, and something about them had made him feel like he was disappearing into them even as he stood in the hall. She had dark hair as well that fell in wild curls over her shoulder and collarbone her smooth skin disappearing on and on forever and he’d felt a tiny tug in his chest.
She was drunk, he realised as she swayed dangerously at the sound of her boyfriend’s voice. Correction: Ex-boyfriend he'd learned with a little thrill in his chest and yes. He’d disappeared as quickly as possible and yes he was now listening with a mixture of horror and morbid interest to the autopsy of what sounded like a four-month-long relationship.
“God, Boys, I really am at rock fucking -“
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“Oh god, please not now.”
Anthony made his way towards the door, clutching the kitten tighter against his chest as he peered through the view hole. The delivery driver was standing in front of the door looking a little alarmed as the woman, Kate the man had called her, and her ex continued their argument.
“Can you come out please?!” The delivery driver said awkwardly. “I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.”
Anthony sighed slipping his glasses higher up his nose. “Templeton, we are in a pickle.”
He took a deep breath, and swung the door open, smiling uncomfortably at the delivery driver. “Hey mate.”
The delivery driver shoved the Chinese takeaway in his hand unceremoniously. “It should all be there. You paid on the app right?!”
“Yeah, I-”
“Kate, you wouldn’t even send me nudes, what was I supposed to do?!”
Anthony didn’t even bother to fight the look of disgust that he tossed in Basil’s direction. You fucking twat.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kate spat back. “And that just gives you the right to say whatever the fuck you want about me?!”
Tell him, He’s a fucking dick.
Kate tossed her hair dramatically and Anthony barely noticed the delivery driver disappear. “And fuck you for saying I’m not hot! Who are you to make that judgement?! Fuck you Baz! Fuck! you!”
“Well, Kate, it’s not like you have a lot of options!”
Anthony felt his jaw clench angrily, his fist tightening around the brown paper bag in his hand and he had to fight the urge to leap across the hallway and punch the man square in the stomach.
“You’d fuck me, right?!”
Anthony started when he realised she’d been addressing him. They were both staring at him, both angry, their irritated stares burning into him, but for some reason, he couldn’t look anywhere but Kate’s eyes.
“Um - I’m not… Yes, look, I have to say I would.”
“Aha!” She let out a triumphant yell, something victorious flashing in her eyes that made a little smirk slip onto Anthony’s lips.
“Oh, okay, well, you’re standing here in your fucking underwear.” Basil scoffed dismissively. “Of course, he’d want to - Look, it doesn’t even matter, are we fucking tonight or what?”
Anthony felt his own mouth fall open in time with Kate’s shock colouring both their faces as they stared back at the man who was apparently so unaware he couldn’t even see what an absolute prick he was.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me!”
“Slut shaming isn’t cool actually, mate.” Anthony hadn’t even realised he was going to say it, standing there awkwardly clutching his cat and his dinner to his chest in his sweatpants like a complete idiot.
“Oh, why don’t you fuck off?”
“Why don’t you?!” Anthony bit out more sharply than he’d intended. “You’re an absolute fucking prick, and she can do so much better than you! Fucking anyone could!”
Basil stared back at him for several long seconds, adrenaline coursing through Anthony’s body for what he couldn’t tell. But all Basil did was scoff, rolling his eyes. “You know what, I don’t have time for this. Have a nice life, Kate.”
The door slammed shut seconds later, leaving both him and Kate staring at it, the sound echoing through the hallway long after it had closed.
Anthony wasn’t quite sure what to do, shifting uncomfortably as she stared at the woman. “Are you okay?”
The woman shook her head, tugging the coat tighter around her, her lower lip blanching as her teeth bit into it, tears visible in her eyes “No.”
Anthony nodded awkwardly as he watched her crumple on the floor, leaning against the wall as tears streamed down her face, her breath coming in desperate heaving gasps and Anthony couldn’t stand the sight of it.
He couldn’t stand the sight of this woman, who’d seemed so strong and confident seconds before, crying in the hallway because of a man who didn’t even respect her enough to end their relationship gently. Didn’t even respect her enough not to yell at her in front of a perfect stranger and shame her.
Anthony could feel the anger burning in his chest still at the indignity of it, at the way that men treated women as though they were disposable. And it wasn’t even that he’d never taken a woman home for a night or not called someone back, but he’d never spoken to anyone the way that arsehole had just spoken to her. Demeaning and berating her, watching her curl in on herself as though it made him bigger.
“Would it make it better if you could hold a kitten?”
Oh Anthony, Anthony, Anthony. Way to sound like an absolute fucking pervert.’
“What?!” Kate looked up at him, her makeup running a little down her face as she sniffled, her brow furrowed in alarm. “You get that I’m not a sex worker right? Like no judgement, or anything but-”
Anthony blanched, “No, god no, I - That wasn’t a weird come on! I’d have to be an absolute twat to hit on you now.”
“Yeah, you probably would be.” She let out a watery chuckle, swiping at her eyes.
“I have an actual kitten.” Anthony crouched in front of her, kissing Templeton quickly on the head before he held him out to her. “And I’m very biased, as his Papa but I think he’s the most adorable kitten on the planet and he gives very good snuggles.”
Templeton chose that moment to let out a tiny Meow, staring up at Kate with his eyes wide. The very ones that had made Anthony choose him, when he’d gone into the pet store to get food for Gregory’s tortoise and groaned when he’d realised they were running an adoption drive.
Kate stared back at him for a long moment, clearly trying to gauge whether or not he was serious before she sighed. “Can I?”
He nodded gently, placing Templeton gently in her hands, his heart hammering in his chest when she let out a little gasp at the loud purring filling the hallway.
“Oh, hello little sir.” Her voice was so gentle as she took his paw, his little toes tipped with white, shaking it gently. “I’m usually more of a dog person but you’re very cute.”
Well, she couldn’t be too perfect I suppose.
“His name’s Templeton,” Anthony said awkwardly, trying not to pay attention to the kitten, nestling itself against the black lace on her chest, forcing his eyes to her face again. “Like the -”
“Rat in Charlotte’s Webb. I know.” Her smile was beautiful. Even in this dimly lit hallway, even as her words slurred a little and she sniffled lightly and tears were still rolling down her cheeks.
Anthony nodded, caring his throat awkwardly. “Look, that guy is an absolute arsehole and you deserve better.”
“You don’t even know me.”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t let a fucking mushroom date that guy.”
“You know I don’t think mushrooms have genders.”
He couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his chest, something catching between them for just a moment. “No, I guess not.”
Silence fell between them, echoing through the space only broken by Templeton purring loudly in her arms.
“Can I call someone for you?”
She shook her head slowly, sighing, “Nope. I’ll call a cab, and get some food, and sober the fuck up enough to be embarrassed that you saw my tits.”
He flushed, and the words had left him before he could stop himself. “Well, I have a little too much Chinese food, and I could… give you some pyjamas to wear and I can drive you home.”
Her brow furrowed, lips parting. “That depends, are you going to murder me?”
“I am not going to murder you,” Anthony said quickly. “I can call my Mum to confirm that if you like.”
She shook her head gently, “Do you have spring rolls in there?”
He nodded, “And lemon chicken and DimSums.”
She clicked her tongue, holding out her hand to him. “Okay, I’m in, random stranger.”
And when he took her hand, he could barely breathe. “Anthony. I’m Anthony.”
She was standing just centimetres from him as he pulled her to her feet, her floral perfume hanging in the air around them. “I’m Kate. And I promise I’m not a complete disaster. I’m a functional adult, I’m an accountant.”
“And who says accountants are boring?”
“Exactly!” She crowed, tugging him into his flat, wobbling a little on her tall stilettos. “Would a boring person flash their tits to a stranger?”
“I have to say they probably wouldn’t.”
And when she smiled at him again, something cracked inside him.