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“I need to get my alien balls back from the human child,” said Harry.
Asta didn’t really know how to deal with any of this. That had been her emotional state since she had first discovered Harry, however, and she had long since determined the only way forward was simply to go along with it. This was how she found herself standing in a dark, crowded hall, illuminated only by the blue glow of the glass sections on either side.
So while on the inside she was caught between the urge to weep and the urge to laugh hysterically, on the outside, she only said: “Okay, and you think they’re in the aquarium?”
“The children have them. My cousins will be able to help us find them.”
“Your cousins—wait, you followed them here? ”
“Yes. I determined their parents were planning a day trip to the aquarium.”
Asta took a moment to center herself.
“Harry, you can’t just follow random people around. That’s called stalking—oh, never mind. How do you even know they brought the…balls here?”
“Because I didn’t find them in their houses,” Harry answered.
Asta groaned.
She thought about mentioning that was also very creepy and not to mention very, very illegal, but eventually decided against it. Harry was already moving along the rows of tanks. There was nothing to do besides follow him and try to get those stupid ball-things back before he did something even more drastic. Or before Max and Sahar accidentally found some way to activate them and locked themselves in a creepy alien survival bunker. Ugh.
Keeping up with Harry proved to be difficult in the crowded aquarium, however. He moved disturbingly fast and blended in well with the groups of fish-observers. After losing him for the third time, Asta decided she needed to try a different tactic. She tried to follow the signs, hoping that one might lead her to something with tentacles. Wherever there were tentacles, there would probably also be Harry. Even before she had learned the truth about him, she’d always suspected he was part squid. It was the only explanation for literally everything about him. The aquarium directions seemed to have been designed by a squid as well, since Asta couldn’t make heads or tails of them; she had now somehow ended up in a lush rainforest exhibit that she was certain was far more humid than it needed to be. Sweaty and exhausted, Asta paused to stare briefly at a colourful parrot preening itself on a branch above. It was then that she felt someone bump into her.
“I’m so sorry—oh, hey, Asta. You’re here too?”
Asta blinked in confusion—and at her own good luck—upon seeing the face of Patience’s mayor.
“Uh, yeah,” said Asta quickly. Ben looked about as frazzled and sweaty as she did. Actually, he looked worse. “Everything alright?”
“Ha, uh, yeah. Uh. Have you seen Max, by any chance?”
On the inside, Asta felt some part of herself shrivel up and die from sudden, icy horror. Outwardly, she only frowned at Ben.
“No, where did you see him last?”
“Well, he was hanging out with Sahar by the shark tank, and I looked away for a second—oh, God, Kate’s going to kill me—“
“We’ll find them,” Asta said as decisively as she could manage. Or else, she added.
At a cafeteria table, Harry glared at the two human children seated across from him. They stared back at him with expressions that were as unreadable as a fish. They’d been learning, Harry thought irritably.
“Where are they?” he growled. “I know you have them.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Max said. Unruly offspring! If he’d been paying attention, he would’ve also noticed the side eye Sahar gave him.
“If you were born on my planet, you would’ve been swallowed up by the icy waste,” Harry said as he pointed a finger in what he thought was a very threatening way at the child. “And your siblings would find your frozen corpse and eat it for nourishment.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be born on your planet, because your planet is boring.”
“What—it is not!” Harry retorted. “The city of Ooglabokep is known all over the galaxy for its fine tradition of ice-sculpting— I know what you’re doing!”
Max blinked innocently. Sahar, apparently sensing trouble, stood up and started to tug him along with her.
“Where are my balls? Spit it out!” Harry ignored the glance a passing server gave them.
“Even if I did have them, you’d never guess where they were—“
“Alright, Max, let’s go. We can deal with him later.”
“Wha--Get back here!”
Harry didn’t manage to pursue them very far, however. Their small, annoying silhouettes disappeared easily in the mass of bodies, and he wouldn’t be able to track them easily in his current form. There were too many humans around to risk revealing himself. He’d just have to try and find their hiding place, which he was now convinced had to be somewhere in the aquarium. Somewhere he’d never guess…
A sudden, evil smile broke out on Harry’s face. He knew exactly where his balls would be. Take that, human offspring!
Asta wasn’t sure how she and Ben managed to escape from the sweltering Amazon exhibit, but it was not a moment too soon: she would’ve probably had to carry him out if they’d been trapped in there any longer.
“Max? Max?” Ben shouted over the crowd’s heads. He looked delirious. Honestly, she had to wonder how he’d survived this long in the world. Meanwhile, she tried to figure out if any of the numerous children milling about were familiar at all. As it turned out, children all tended to wear very similar clothes. Kids under the age of twelve should be required to wear jackets with their names on the back, she started to consider before realizing that was a very Harry-like thought. The heat had affected her head as well, evidently.
There was some sort of commotion near the huge glass panels that made up the shark tank, but Asta didn’t pay attention until she heard a little girl gasp—
“Daddy, there’s a man with the fish!”
Asta whipped around.
In full view of everyone, Harry was wrestling with a squirming shark that was almost as long as he was. She could only stare, frozen in shock, as he tried to pry its mouth open.
A part of her had considered just leaving there and then. This was just too much for one woman to deal with. On the other hand, this was one story she’d be telling at parties for decades to come.
“It bit me,” Harry said miserably. Asta had made no effort to be particularly gentle as she stitched up his wound, but she did feel a bit sorry for him. The poor man—er, alien—looked very pathetic as he sat on one of the clinic’s examination tables, wrapped in a fluffy white towel.
“What did you think would happen by shoving a hand down a shark’s throat?” Asta said dryly.
“I thought it had eaten my alien ball,” said Harry.
“If it had, it probably would’ve started sprouting hairs or something. Do you really need all of them?”
“Yes.”
Asta sighed. Just as she turned away, Harry surprised her again.
“Also, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For helping me. I have not thanked you enough, so I am doing so now.”
Asta stared at him for a moment, slightly bewildered, and then just smiled.
“Don’t mention it.”