Chapter Text
The nightmares were normal. Usually they were an out of body collection of false memories. Images of the asteroid hitting the planet and screams of Shlorpians filling space. Sometimes in these dreams, Korvo was still on the planet witnessing first hand the absolute fire and destruction. He was used to reliving the trauma.
But this dream was different.
It didn’t start off like the nightmares did and lacked a lot of the theatrics he could normally expect. Instead, it was an average day on Shlorp, one that felt vaguely familiar. Korvo was aware he had an appointment to meet up with the Pupa Specialist who would be his evacuation partner. He was on his way to meet Terry. That’s how this memory played out. Then why when he arrived at the designated meeting spot was the green alien nowhere to be seen. Only some faceless Shlorpian claiming to be his evacuation partner.
“No.” Korvo backed away. “I’m supposed to meet Terry.”
Things began to get warped, as dreams often do. Korvo was running through the streets, screaming Terry’s name. The asteroid was about to hit. Everyone was running around and panicking. Desperately pushing through the chaos, Korvo was determined to find Terry. He spotted him boarding one of the ships. Thank god. They could escape. They could outrun this nightmare together.
“Terry!” Korvo was forcing his way into the ship.
“Do I know you?” Terry responded. He gazed at Korvo in confusion, not a hint of recognition on his face.
That expression terrified Korvo. “Terry, stop fucking around. It’s me, Korvo. Your team leader?”
“I don’t know what you're talking about. I already have a team.” The unfamiliar Terry gestured to the Shlorpians in the ship. “You need to leave.”
The planet was burning. There wasn’t any more time and Terry was pushing Korvo into the flames. “We have to go.”
Korvo jolted awake just as he felt the flames envelope him. He sat up and touched his face. There were tears. Chancing a glance to the spot in bed next to him, he could still see the gentle rise and fall of Terry’s chest and hear the wispy snores which indicated the Pupa Specialist was still fast asleep.
What the fuck was that dream? Korvo got out of bed and started changing into his robes. It was still dark outside but there was no way he would be able to go back to sleep. In the bathroom, he washed his face and stared at his reflection. His eyes were puffy. He looked horrible.
This feeling was unfamiliar. Never in his life had Korvo been afraid of losing someone. He had never been emotionally reliant on someone. There was no one who made him feel the way Terry did. The annoying crush he had been developing was bothersome. But now he was dreaming about some stupid hypothetical situation. It wasn’t real. Terry was here, right now. He was his evacuation partner. They were teammates.
But what if we hadn’t been? What if Terry had flown off into space with someone else?
The thought made him sick. And once that forbidden line of thinking was allowed in there was no stopping it. Sliding to the bathroom floor, Korvo felt hot tears pricking his eyes. This was ridiculous.
“I will not cry about this.” He stood up with determination and pointed accusatively at the mirror. The tremble in his lip almost gave him away. “And I will sci fi away these irrational feelings.” Yes, that was it. He nodded, wheels turning in his head. There was a way to get rid of these uncertainties. Before he could second guess himself, he rushed out of the bathroom and towards the ship.
“Hey Korvotron, me and Pupes are gonna go pick up some snacks.” Terry’s loud voice broke the serene silence of the ship and pulled Korvo out from his trance.
It was already late morning. Korvo looked around, giving a few long blinks. It always felt extremely disorienting to suddenly be aware of his surroundings after hours of being absorbed in his work. He would need a few moments to reground himself.
Terry didn’t seem to notice or care. The green alien came waltzing into the ship, invading Korvo’s space and reminding him of feelings he’d rather forget. Korvo tried to not look up from his computer screen, especially embarrassed after the dream he had last night. Luckily, Terry’s ridiculous “World’s Best Ex Girlfriend” shirt was repulsive enough to make it pretty easy to avoid eye contact.
Oblivious to Korvo’s emotional turmoil and scrolling through his phone, Terry was rambling on. “Costco just got exclusive grape flavored Oreos and you know I can’t resist medicine flavored cream filling.”
Normally, Korvo would be annoyed at Terry prioritzing dumb Earth snacks over helping him with ship repair. But today, he was happy for Terry to be out of the house. Playing it cool, Korvo resumed typing a series of ones and zeros which would mean nothing to anyone but himself. “Just don’t let the Pupa eat too many free samples.”
“Yeah, right. What do you think I am, the Pupa’s babysitter? He does what he wants.” Leaning against the wall, Terry looked down at Korvo in a way that was unintentionally attractive. This short circuited Korvo’s brain, making him unable to give a proper argumentative response. Instead, he averted his gaze and prayed Terry would leave.
In an unfortunate turn of events for Korvo, Terry was for once interested in what he was up to. “Soooooo… Whatcha you doing to the Pretend-O-Deck?”
The blue alien was obviously doing something to it so there was no way to deny it. Half of the paneling outside of the door was removed. The wires had been gutted and were now attached to Korvo’s computer.
“If you must know, Terry, I’m making it more useful.” The code was almost done. The typing of Korvo’s fingers intensified as his patience for Terry’s presence wore thin.
“For sex stuff?” Terry’s eyes went wide with excitement.
“No!” Korvo barked back, a deep blush blush painting his face as he imagined his partner doing sex stuff in the Pretend-O-Deck. “God, Terry. Not all of us are out of control horn dogs.”
Waving his hand dismissively, Terry rolled his eyes. “Oh, c’mon we all use it for that. Besides, like what else is a Pretend-O-Deck for?”
“Exactly,” Korvo said. “As long as it’s running fake and unrealistic scenarios, it’s little more than a device to live out our dumbest fantasies. So I’ve created a reality based algorithm to make the simulations as accurate to life as possible.”
Terry groaned. “Ugh, lame.”
“No, Terry. ‘Cool!’” Jumping up, Korvo spread his arms, trying to paint the picture for his partner. “These simulations will be so realistic, they might as well be a glimpse into a parallel dimension. We will be able to input any slight variable and see how that scenario would or will play out. Parallel dimensions, Terry! That’s rad as hell.”
The sarcasm was dripping in Terry’s voice. “Yeah, rad. You convinced me. Why would I want to live out my most outlandish sex fantasies when I can see live out a realistic sex fantasy.”
“Precisely.” Korvo went back to focusing on the last of his data inputs. He hoped that his explanation and Terry’s disinterest would be enough to keep the green alien away for the rest of the day.
“And why are you doing this again?”
Because of you.
The blue alien had to tread carefully. He didn’t want Terry to know the real reason. “I-it’s for ship repair, obviously. If I can see certain outcomes of repair methods, I can save a lot of time and effort.”
“Blegh. Only you can manage to make the Pretend-O-Deck boring.” Once again, Terry was on his phone, scrolling as he headed out the door,
When he was sure Terry was gone, Korvo breathed a sigh of relief. Boring or not, Terry had bought the excuse. He stared down at his hands, suddenly losing the urgency to finish as soon as possible. He needed to know. Needed to see it for himself what things would have been like if he hadn’t been partnered with Terry.
As the last of his edits to the Pretend-O-Deck were made, Korvo decided he didn’t want to live the simulation, merely observe. It would impede on the accuracy for current day Korvo to try to live out the scenario. And it would hurt way too much if Terry treated him the way he had in the dream. It was better to be an outside spectator. He climbed through the door and closed it behind him. Sitting crossed legged on the ground, Korvo took a deep breath.
“Aisha, run simulation. The day I met Terry. Change the variable to us being assigned different evacuation partners.”
The air was pure on Shlorp. The buildings were overgrown with plants and the early spring sun warmed the gentle breeze. Korvo breathed it in, acutely aware it may be one of the last days he would get to cherish this beautiful atmosphere. Despite the impending doom his planet was facing, there was no excuse to despair. He still had a meeting to get to and work to get done. There was no time to panic.
Weaving his way through the intricate and wonderfully walkable streets of the city, Korvo slowed his pace slightly. He didn’t want to seem too eager or it might cause suspicion. Showing any sort of emotion would be a fatal mistake. He was almost there, already chosen to be on one of the evacuation crews. The last thing he needed to do was blow it by making the Leaders doubt his temperament. They needed to see Korvo was level headed, calm, and going to be a great team leader.
Speaking of teams, his Pupa Specialist was supposed to be meeting him here. Korvo checked the street signs, making sure he had the correct location and scanned the crowd for someone who might be a Pupa Specialist.
“Hello.” A voice came from behind Korvo. He turned to be greeted by a purple Shlorpian. She extended her hand rigidly. “Evi.”
Korvo smiled politely as he shook her hand, expecting her to mirror the expression. She remained stoic, merely looking him up and down. This was going to be his partner for the next few years. No big deal, but these first impressions were crucial for a good working relationship. “Korvo. The Ship Engineer and team captain.”
“Pupa Specialist. Pleasure to meet you,” she responded in a tone that portrayed anything but. “It is a great honor to serve the home planet with you on this mission.”
“The feeling is mutual.” It wasn’t a lie, but the words were hollow. Korvo couldn’t get a read on her. The interaction felt formal and stuffy. It wasn’t a good foot to get off to. This might be the only adult Shlorpian he would have as a companion for the next few years while they waited for the Pupa to terraform a rogue moon. Despite the tightness in his lungs, Korvo smiled cooly. “I look forward to seeing you and the replicants tomorrow.”
“See you then.” She waved and started walking away, not even a backward glance as if she couldn’t wait to get out of the situation.
Korvo waved back even though she didn’t see. His hand lingered in the air as he allowed the expression on his face to sour. She was definitely disappointed. It might just be his self doubt, but he imagined that she was disgusted to be stuck with someone like him. This was his evacuation partner. Dread creeped in along with another feeling.
Loneliness.
The first mistake he had made was having any sort of expectations for his evacuation partner. Korvo knew this. All that mattered was the mission and Evi seemed capable enough. The way he was feeling was borderlining thought crime territory. But even acknowledging this didn’t help. Somewhere deep in Korvo’s hearts, he had secretly hoped for a partner who he would immediately click with. Someone who would not just be his teammate, but his friend.
He didn’t have friends on Shlorp. At least not any that cared about him particularly. Going through life alone was great for his career. But sometimes, when he saw happy lifemates together or a group of friends going out for dinner after a workday, he longed for some sort of meaningful connection.
That was a big expectation to put on an evacuation partner. He knew that. It wasn’t Evi’s responsibility to be his friend.
The work day couldn’t be over fast enough. It felt meaningless.He was leaving in two days and the planet was about to be destroyed. Soil samples suddenly seemed uninteresting.
As he left work, his feet didn’t take him home. Instead he found himself walking toward the Recreation District. Restaurants, bars, and clubs lined either side of the street. The sun setting created an enchanting glow which intermingled with the fluorescent plants coming to life and the neon signs in every window. Dusk was normally a quiet time of day, but here in the Recreation District, it was bustling.
Of course, there was a strict curfew enforced but Korvo still had a few hours. He deserved a drink or two. Nothing like hanging out at a bar alone to make you feel less lonely.
Downing his third drink, he sighed into the glass. This wasn’t him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gone out like this. But he couldn’t stand to go back home to that cold and empty apartment. This dark corner in the back of the bar was a much better spot.
“Not to be dramatic but that’s kind of my spot.” Korvo looked up at the green Shlorpian who was talking to him. The alien took the seat next to him, not seeming to really care about his “spot”. He was disheveled in an attractive way, the top buttons of his robe undone. Even in the dim light of the bar, Korvo could see his eyes were bloodshot, as if he had been crying.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know the spot was reserved.” Korvo moved as if to get up. The green Shlorpian stopped him, placing a way too familiar hand on Korvo’s arm.
“It’s cool, really.” The stranger waved to the bartender who nodded. Apparently he was a regular because without speaking a word, there was a drink in his hand.
Korvo felt self conscious as he ordered another drink himself. They sat in silence, sipping on their respective beverages as the bar bustled with more patrons seeping in. Korvo wasn’t sure if they were supposed to talk or not. He couldn’t help but wish he could find the right words. Instead, he stole glances.
Finally the green stranger broke the silence. “I was joking, by the way. I normally sit on the other end of the bar.”
Unsure of how to respond to that, Korvo opted for an awkward retort which he immediately regretted. “Then why are you over here?”
“That’s the spot I usually sit at with my ex.” He admitted easily, tears welling in his large eyes. “W-we kinda just broke up.”
Before Korvo could really register what that meant, the green alien was crying and shamefully hiding his face into the bar. After a moment of hesitation, Korvo patted his shoulder apprehensively. This was extremely inappropriate behavior for two strangers and Korvo glanced around the room. He desperately hoped no one else was witnessing this. Luckily the music was getting louder.
“You need to stop crying, you’ll get in trouble.” Korvo leaned in to whisper.
Instantly the waterworks were off. “I know. Sorry.” He forced a sheepish grin up at Korvo.
This guy was a total mess. Korvo knew that. He should get up and leave before things began to get out of hand. The last thing he needed was to be caught in the crossfire of some emotional Shlorpian who didn’t know how to control himself. The authorities would be called if this nonsense continued.
Yet, the way the green alien’s eyes lowered was intriguing. Seductive even. Korvo couldn’t even tell he had just been crying. “What’s your name?”
“K-korvo. Yours?”
“Terry.” He laughed a little. “Ugh, sorry that was kind of embarrassing. You're way too cute, don’t want you to think I’m like a trainwreck or something.”
The word cute echoed through Korvo’s head. He was cute to this guy. Terry thought he was cute. Well, now he definitely couldn’t abandon him. “No, it’s okay. A break up is rough.” Korvo was just guessing. He had never been through a break up.
“Eh, I mean we’re both about to evacuate with separate partners so it’s not like it matters. I’ll probably never see her again anyways.” Terry waved to the bartender to get another drink.
“You’re evacuating?”
“Yeah, as a Pupa Specialist or something.” As he stuck his straw into his freshly poured drink, he gave a half chuckle, half groan. “So, you normally drink alone at the bar?”
Korvo returned the smile against his will. This total idiot was a Pupa Specialist. A weird part of him wished he had been stuck with someone like this. The conversation flowed easily and openly. It felt nice. “No, I just…” He wasn’t sure how much he wanted to share. But Terry seemed harmless and stupid enough to not judge him. “I’m an evacuation team leader and just met my partner. And I think she kind of hates me.”
“Yikes. That’s rough. My evacuation partner is a total loser. Wanna see if we can swap?”
The stare Korvo gave him was unamused. That was not an option and they both knew that.
“I’m kidding.” Terry shoved his shoulder playfully. “It’s obvious you’re a total loser too.”
That hurt for some reason. Korvo felt his face turn blue and the drinks in his system gave him courage he didn’t know he had. “You said I was cute.”
“You can be both,” teased Terry. He placed his fingers on Korvo’s lap, a gesture which would normally cause Korvo to flinch and swipe the hand away. But when Terry did it, it was okay. He melted into the gentle touch. After the contact lasted a moment too long, Terry continued talking. “But I’m sure things will get better. I mean, there’s a lot of pressure and tension right now. Once you get to know her, I’m sure your partner will be great.”
The naive and earnest expression Terry gave made Korvo’s breath get caught in his chest. “I hope you're right.”
The conversation continued on, the two Shlorpians sharing their thoughts and concerns about the upcoming mission. Everytime Korvo thought Terry might be flirting with him, he reminded himself that Terry was extremely vulnerable right now. Going through a break up and probably still in love with his ex, Terry was definitely just using him as a distraction. Korvo didn’t mind. He needed this too. It was harmless.
Then suddenly Terry was laughing and the world was falling away. Korvo realized he didn’t care if anyone saw them or if this was temporary. He leaned in, staring at Terry’s lips. Terry mirrored him, the distance between them getting closer. But instead of slamming their mouths together, Terry whispered. “I should go.”
He was being the responsible one, surprisingly. Korvo woke from his trance and shook his head. “But I don’t want to be alone.”
Korvo’s normally chilly apartment felt a bit warmer with Terry in it. The green alien made himself at home, staring at the board of math equations on the wall and sipping the glass of water Korvo had given him. “Oh, so you’re like a total dweeb?”
The blush on Korvo’s face deepened. He was unable to calm himself down. This super hot stranger he met at a bar was in his apartment, touching his stuff and invading his private space. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching him like a hawk but not even considering asking him to leave. In fact, he wanted him to invade his personal space even more.
“I-I’m really passionate about math.”
The smile that played on Terry’s face was soft. “It’s kind of cute.” He sat down his drink and made his way across the room, sitting next to Korvo on the bed. The way he lounged made him seem a little too comfortable. “You’re really interesting.”
Korvo felt his stomach rolling. Who was this guy? Who told him to say exactly what Korvo wanted to hear? This coy act was getting to be too much for Korvo.
Luckily, Terry wasn’t going to keep egging him on. He reached out a hand, pulling Korvo’s face down to his. Their lips met in a heated kiss, which deepened as they opened their mouths. Terry explored the kiss with his tongue. Korvo gave in, letting his fingers drift into Terry’s open neckline. The small moan Terry gave as Korvo nipped his neck was intoxicating.
“STOP!” Korvo shouted. “Stop simulation!” He couldn’t take anymore of this. There were tears streaming down his face. Even if it was fake, even if that was him, it felt like an invasion of privacy. Something too intimate with someone he didn’t even dare dream about being with.
His eyes burned as the simulation faded. He watched the scene fade, his hearts pounding. He wasn’t sure if that hurt more than the nightmare. Seeing himself with Terry in a way yearned for. It was unfair.
He rolled to his back, staring up at the metal ceiling. Part of him wanted to doubt the modifications he had made. This was obviously still part fantasy. But in his mind, he knew he didn’t make mistakes like that. His algorithm should have been flawless.
“Aisha, are you telling me Terry would have one-night standed me if we hadn’t been partners?” He was speaking more so to the void than to the AI.
“No.” The female AI voice responded annoyedly. “He would have two-night standed you. You guys still had two days until departure for the mission.”
Why is that worse? Korvo felt sick and anxious all over again. A two day romantic randevu and then they would never have seen each other again. How could hypothetical Terry be so cruel? That was way worse than dream Terry pushing him into a burning planet.