Chapter Text
Tay is drunk. Maybe he's really drunk, because the fight he had with Time is already feeling hazy. All he has now is the hurt and anger.
One of Kinn’s bodyguards slides into the back seat next to Tay. The cute one with glasses. Tay can’t remember his name right now, but he has a distinct memory of him pouring beer over his bare chest and doing drunken body rolls one night at Yok’s.
The bodyguard leans close to pull the seatbelt around Tay and click it into place. Tay squints at him, trying to bring him into focus. He smells good, like soap and cigarettes and human. Not the overpowering cologne Time prefers. Tay thinks he probably smells like booze and his own cologne and feels disgusted with all of it. His makeup feels heavy on his face.
The bodyguard leans back and secures himself on the other side of the car. Tay immediately misses the warmth of proximity.
“Thank you… Glasses,” he says. He tries not to slur the words, his tongue feeling clumsy in his mouth.
“It’s Arm, Khun Tay,” he says. He doesn’t quite meet Tay’s eyes. He looks embarrassed to make the correction.
Tay leans his head on the seat behind him, looking at Arm. He raises his arm to touch his glasses, but it’s heavy and his fingers graze his cheek instead. “I like Glasses.”
Arm’s grasp around Tay’s wrist is gentle as he guides his hand back down.
“Where should we take you, Khun Tay?”
Tay doesn’t want to go home. Time will show up later, whenever he decides to leave the celebration. Or Time will go elsewhere. Tay doesn’t know which would be harder to bear. He gives his driver the name of his preferred hotel and leans back in his seat, closing his eyes against a wave of dizziness as the car pulls out into the street.
“Khun Tay? Are you okay?”
Tay looks at Arm again. The pretty one, with a sweet little voice and an expression of earnest concern only Theerapanyakul money could buy.
“You’re Khun’s, aren’t you? Why are you here?”
“Khun Kinn asked me to see you home. He said you left unexpectedly.”
“Mmm.” Tay assumes his own driver is in the driver’s seat. It feels like his car. Smells like his car, with traces of Time’s cologne still lingering. Or is it on him? He wants a shower.
It becomes too quiet. Arm is too polite to make small talk, Tay thinks. And Tay has nothing to say. All he can think about are the texts on Time’s phone. His latest boy gushing about the hookup they’d had that same fucking day. Some little idiot declaring his love and begging Time to see him again. Time’s excuses were all recycled. They’re stuck in a loop, and Tay is tired. He doesn’t know how to get out of it.
He reaches for anything else to talk about. Didn’t Khun’s bodyguards disappoint him? There was supposed to be a surprise. “What were you supposed to do for Khun?” Tay asks.
Arm takes his glasses off and fishes a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe the lenses. “What do you mean?”
“You ruined his surprise. Something about carp.”
“It was nothing. Just a silly joke.”
It’s too dark to see if Arm is blushing. It sounds like he’s blushing. He seems so bashful. Tay wonders if it always takes alcohol to bring out the side of him that opens his shirt and dances like a stripper in public. Tay closes his eyes. He hasn’t thought of anyone but Time in so many years. Time owns his heart. There isn’t any room for anyone else. No matter how hard it was, he always wanted to believe in this love.
Time had tested Tay’s love often enough. So what if he tested it himself? Could he enjoy someone else? Maybe he would finally know….
“uhmmm… Glasses… would you get my phone?” He asks without opening his eyes.
“Khun Tay?”
“It’s in my back pocket.”
Even without looking, Tay senses Arm’s hesitation. A few moments pass before Arm gently nudges Tay to lean forward, his hand warm on Tay’s back through his shirt. There’s less awkward fumbling than Tay had hoped for. Of course. Arm is a professional. He slides Tay’s phone from his pocket without so much as an inappropriate brush of his fingers.
Tay laughs as he sits back and takes the phone from Arm. “You probably knew exactly where it was, didn’t you?” Tay prods Arm’s arm with the phone a few times. “So observant, Glasses.”
Arm clears his throat. “Just doing my job.”
Tay squints at the screen, trying to hold it still. Nothing from Time yet. He wonders if Kinn took his phone.
“I ruined his night,” Tay says.
“Whose night?”
“Kinn’s. He was so happy. He deserves to be happy. He and Porsche. They love each other so much. They’re in so much love.” He looks over at Arm. “Aren’t they just in the most romantic kind of love?”
“They looked very happy tonight,” Arm says.
“Lots and lots and lots of love. They should be happy while they can…. Kinn shouldn’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t mind, Khun Tay. I’ll get you to your hotel and let him know you’re okay.”
“Send a text to Time for me. It’s so blurry.” Tay hands Arm his phone. “Tell him… ‘I’m done. Don’t call me.’”
Arm hesitates before he sends it. “Are… are you sure you want me to send this?”
“Yes. And tell him I’m blocking his number.” Tay leans over to watch Arm type the message. He leans his head on Arm’s shoulder, since it’s right there and so comfortable.
Arm glances at him and quickly looks away, takes a long breath. He fumbles a few of the words before he gets it right.
“Now block his number.” He watches Arm navigate through the options to block Time’s number. It feels terrible. It feels wonderful. He hopes that later, when he’s sober, he won’t give in to his doubts and change his mind.
He reaches for his phone and instead holds the phone and Arm’s hand in his own as his eyes drift shut.
“Khun Tay, we’re here.”
Tay tries to remember where “here” is. He opens his eyes and concentrates very hard on making large shapes come into focus. The car. Arm leaning over him to unfasten the seatbelt, holding him securely as he helps him out. It feels so safe to lean against him for support. Arm isn’t tall like Time, but he’s stronger, steadier.
“Your driver reserved a room for you. I’ll help you up.”
“There’s an overnight bag in the trunk….”
“Already in the room. Come on, then you can sleep.”
Tay hates relying on his own bodyguards to help him like this. It’s embarrassing. But it’s easy to let Arm help him into the hotel and up to a large luxury suite. Maybe it’s because Arm doesn’t work for him. Maybe it’s the way Arm’s hair brushes against Tay’s cheek. Maybe it’s the way Arm says “I’ve got you” when Tay stumbles over the curb.
Tay is guided into the bedroom of the suite and sat on the bed. He goes wherever Arm directs, content for the moment to be looked after.
“I’ll make you some coffee, Khun Tay.”
Tay nods and tells Arm to make some for himself, too. Coffee is a good idea. He’s in no condition to seduce a bodyguard. He doesn’t approve of seducing on-duty bodyguards, in general. But Arm’s not his bodyguard. It’s probably fine.
“It’s fine,” he mumbles to himself as he struggles to tug off his boots without falling over. He mostly succeeds with some effort and a few breaks to sit still until he can tell up from down.
Arm returns while Tay sits there, one boot across the room and the other still stuck on his foot. Tay laughs. What a pathetic sight he must be.
“Khun Tay?”
“Help me change my clothes, Glasses. Then we’ll have the coffee in the other room.”
Arm stammers. “I… if… of course.”
“There are some pyjamas in the bag.”
Arm pushes his glasses up more securely on his nose and turns to the bag that sits, as promised, on the end of the bed. He digs through the contents until he finds a long nightshirt and matching shorts.
“Is this what you wanted?”
Tay nods. He starts to unbutton his shirt, fingers slipping over the smooth plastic. They were tricky even when he’d been sober earlier that afternoon, the unstretched buttonholes of the new shirt almost too small for the buttons. “Will you help me with these?”
Arm helps, easily pushing the buttons through one at a time. He’s efficient. Precise. Professional. Tay giggles a little over tight buttonholes.
Arm stops what he’s doing and looks at Tay. “What?”
Tay waves his hand and rests it on Arm’s hip. Why is his hip there, so convenient and inviting, if not for Tay to hold on to? “Nothing. I’m just a little bit tipsy.”
“Mmm. A little.”
Tay tries to pull his shirt off, forgetting about the buttoned cuffs. Arm patiently helps push the shirt back out of the way and unbuttons each cuff. At last, there’s a little slip of Arm’s perfect professionalism and his fingers brush against Tay’s wrist. When Tay looks up at Arm he thinks he catches him looking at his nipple rings. It’s ridiculous, to look for the barest hint of interest. Being so affected by the smallest, most chaste of touches. Tay giggles again.
“…Did I do something wrong?” Arm asks.
“No, it’s nothing. Nothing.”
“Should I hang this up?”
“Probably. Please.” Tay doesn’t care about the shirt. Arm could cram it into the overnight bag as far as he’s concerned, but he’d probably regret it later when he’s sober. He’s at least able to toe off his boot while Arm takes care of his shirt.
“Arms up,” Arm says when he returns.
Tay looks at him for a second before he realizes Arm means to help Tay into his nightshirt. “Yes sir,” he says, fighting the urge to keep giggling like a maniac. He raises his arms up enough for Arm to get the shirt on over his head and tug it down over his chest.
It’s strangely comforting, being taken care of this way, as Arm helps him stand and supports him while he unfastens his trousers and lets them fall to his feet. Arm holds Tay firmly around the waist as he steps out of them.
There’s an awkward moment with the shorts when they both consider just how much help Arm is going to provide. In the end, Tay decides it’s a little too tacky to make Arm bend over or—fuck—get down on his knees to help. Still, he enjoys Arm’s hands on him, holding him upright so he can put one foot then the other into the shorts and pull them up under his nightshirt.
“Okay?”
"Yeah, okay. Thank you.”
Arm lingers, one hand on Tay’s waist and the other under his elbow. He’s not holding Tay up anymore. He’s just… holding him. He’s so close, Tay could kiss him. He’s surprised at how much he wants to.
Arm clears his throat. “The coffee should be ready.”
“Right. The living room.”
Arm shifts his hold on Tay a little so he can guide him into the other room. Tay settles on the couch while Arm takes care of the coffee in the kitchenette. He thinks the suite is nice enough. The view over the city is almost as nice as the penthouse, but of course everything is a little smaller, a little more generic. It will do for a few nights until he decides what to do.
Arm returns with two mugs of coffee neatly presented on a tray along with milk and sugar on the side. He sets the tray on the coffee table and joins Tay on the couch at a disappointingly professional distance. Tay’s diet doesn’t permit milk or sugar in his coffee. It doesn’t permit the amount of alcohol he drank tonight, either, but he doesn’t want to think about that now.
Tay takes his mug of coffee and sits back on the couch, tucking his legs up under him and holding the drink close, feeling the steam on his face. Arm sits primly beside him, sipping his coffee – with a little sugar and a lot of milk, Tay notes. He’s so composed and calm, Tay loves it as much as he wants to see him crack.
“Thank you,” Tay says.
“Of course, Khun Tay.”
“Please, just Tay tonight. I’m too tired for formalities.”
“I—okay.”
Tay sips his coffee slowly, the caffeine and the heat starting to clear his head of the fuzziness. He makes some small talk about the weather. At least, that’s how he starts. At some point he realizes he’s rambling on about Kinn and Porsche and Time and their argument, the caffeine making him chatty. When he sets the empty mug back onto the tray he’s not exactly sober, but the room has stopped spinning around him.
Arm is practically perched on the edge of the couch. He looks ready to find the right moment to make his excuses and leave. All other motives aside, Tay’s just not ready to be alone.
“Do you think people can change?” He asks.
Arm puts his mug down and gives Tay a considering look before he answers. “I think the world changes people. I think it’s very hard for people to change on their own.”
Tay nods. He’s always been an optimist, but as the years have passed it’s become harder to believe that Time will change. Tay doesn’t know if Time even wants to change, or if he’s been hoping that Tay will grow comfortable with the way things are.
“Sometimes,” Arm continued, “people can change each other.”
“Mmm. Sometimes. Sometimes it even works out,” Tay says, thinking of Kinn and Porsche. Kinn seemed so happy tonight. And Tay is happy to see him willing to trust someone again. It just makes Time’s lies, tonight of all nights, hit harder than usual.
“…is there someone I should call for you? One of your bodyguards? Family? Someone who can take care of you?”
Tay can’t think of a single person he wants to see. His bodyguards, hand-picked by his mother, are decidedly less personable than the type the Theerapanyakuls prefer. Family is absolutely out of the question. He’d usually call Kinn. The truth is, no one has made him feel as safe and calm as Arm has in just an hour with him.
Tay looks at Arm. “Won’t you take care of me tonight?”
There, finally, a flicker of something in Arm’s expression. He blushes and looks away, removing his glasses to clean the immaculate lenses with a handkerchief. “If that’s what you want,” he says.
“You’re good at taking care of people. You must be, to take care of Khun.”
“He’s easy to take care of,” Arm says, placing his glasses carefully back on his face.
“Is he?”
“He’s very direct about what he wants. That makes it easy.”
“Do you want me to be direct about what I want, Glasses?”
Arm hesitates, looking anywhere but directly at Tay. “…I think that would be a good idea.”
“I want you to fuck me.”
Arm coughs, chokes a little. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. It’s adorable.
“Khun Tay, I’m not sure… you’ve had a lot to drink….”
Tay slides closer to Arm. “I’m not too drunk to know what I want. I want to be fucked.” Tay rests his hand on Arm’s thigh. “I want to remember what it’s like to be fucked by someone who hasn’t hurt me.”
Arm’s whole demeanor shifts. He stops flailing to really look at Tay. Tay doesn’t waver. He’s made up his mind. He needs this. He has settled for so long, allowed Time to play with his emotions and lower his expectations. He wants to know if it can be different, if he can ever feel cared for again. And he wants Arm, who is so unexpectedly beautiful up close.
Arm reaches up to touch Tay’s cheek softly, with such tenderness, Tay thinks he might break and start crying. He closes his eyes and tries to lean into the touch, holding back the unwelcome emotions.
The leather of the couch creaks as Arm moves. Tay feels Arm’s breath on his face a moment before their lips touch with the gentlest of kisses. It’s tentative at first, closed-mothed and careful.
“Arm…”
They look at each other, Arm cupping Tay’s cheek, their lips almost touching.
“Do you want to fuck me?” Tay whispers.
Arm licks his lips. Swallows hard. “Yes,” he says, his voice cracking.
It’s all the encouragement Tay needs. He swings around to straddle Arm’s lap, his hands Arm’s shoulders. “Then what are you waiting for?”
Arm arches up and pulls Tay closer, his hands grasping at Tay’s back, his tongue in Tay’s mouth, his warm, strong body straining to get closer. Tay moans. He hasn’t felt this kind of anticipation in years. Was this what Time liked so much? The thrill that came with the unknown?
He doesn’t want to think about Time now. He needs more, needs a distraction, needs Arm to help him lose himself.
“Take me to bed,” Tay says.
“Yes, sir,” Arm murmurs against his lips.
Arm holds Tay securely and stands up with him from the couch, carrying him into the bedroom. It’s hot as hell. Tay laughs, delighted, and nibbles on Arm’s ear while he fumbles with the light switches. Arm laughs softly, a little huff against Tay’s neck.
Arm sits with him on the side of the bed and Tay thinks he’d like to ride Arm like this if he was less tipsy. Maybe he’ll get another chance later. For now, he just wants Arm out of his suit. He tugs the jacket over Arm’s shoulders and fumbles with the buttons of his shirt. Arm’s hands cover Tay’s to help him. They kiss awkwardly, needily, and Tay feels giddy, lighter than he has in ages.
Tay helps Arm with the buttons on the cuffs of his shirt. “Your turn,” he says.
Arm is smiling. He’s smiling. And laughing his soft, almost bashful laugh. Tay’s chest feels tight with an emotion he knows he shouldn’t be feeling. It’s dangerous, this flutter of longing for something decidedly more compromising than sex.
Tay distracts himself with the sight of Arm’s bare chest and arms. He slides his hands over him, feeling the well-defined muscles of his abs.
“You’re so sexy, Glasses. I noticed that night at the bar. I never thought I’d have a chance to get a better look.”
“I… Yes. This is… unexpected.”
Tay enjoys seeing Arm so flustered. The blush that rises to his cheeks, the little glances away from Tay. Tay cups his face and kisses him softly, lingering over every feeling, letting the heat build between them as he licks into his mouth. Arm’s hands slide up under Tay’s nightshirt, grasping at his back. Tay forces Arm’s head to tip back as he fills his mouth with his tongue and the sound Arm makes goes straight to Tay’s cock, his arousal starting to ache with a need for more.
The energy shifts. They can’t get out of their clothes fast enough, first Tay’s nightshirt, then hasty efforts to get out of each other’s way for the rest. Tay tosses everything onto the floor.
“There are condoms and lube in—”
Arm is already reaching for the overnight bag. “In the bag. I saw.”
Tay lays back against the pillows, his knees bent, slightly parted as if he’s not desperate to have Arm’s cock inside him.
Arm lifts one of Tay’s legs, kisses his ankle, drags his lips up the inside of Tay’s leg to his thigh so slowly it leaves Tay breathless, trying not to squirm.
“I think,” Arm says, kneeling between Tay’s legs and leaning over to continue placing soft kisses on his belly, up to his sternum. “You should continue to be direct about what you want.”
“More direct than asking you to fuck me?”
“Mmm,” Arm responds before lapping at Tay’s nipple, tugging lightly at the small hoop pierced through it.
Tay groans and buries his fingers in Arm’s hair. “Fuck... you can start by doing more of that.…”
Arm obeys, and he’s thorough. Tay realizes he had no idea what he was asking for as Arm licks, kisses, and nibbles at his sensitive skin, the light tugging at the nipple ring sending shocks of pleasure over Tay’s chest.
Tay drops his head back and closes his eyes, luxuriating in the sheer pleasure of Arm’s mouth on him, pressing up against his body to feel the warmth of his skin. “The… the other…”
Arm doesn’t even hesitate to move at Tay’s request, treating his other nipple to the same slow, excruciatingly pleasurable treatment. He shifts closer, presses down against Tay, rocks their hips together, and Tay moans. He didn’t know he could feel so good and still want more. It’s so unlike… well, he isn’t going to let his thoughts go there. Not now.
Tay reaches blindly for the bottle of lube and presses it into Arm’s hand. “I want your fingers in me.”
“Fuck…”Arm breathes, barely audible. He cups the back of Tay’s head and kisses him so fiercely Tay’s head spins with the feeling of being wanted so badly.
It doesn’t last long before Arm is moving so he can uncap the bottle and squeeze a little lube onto his palm, his hands trembling. His face is flushed, hair thoroughly mussed now. Tay wants him so much he feels empty with something only Arm can fill. He thinks he’s been empty for a long time and hasn’t even known it.
Tay lets Arm arrange him how he likes, fascinated by how considered it seems to be as Arm lifts one of Tay’s legs up over his shoulder and nudges the other to spread open a little wider. Tay takes the bottle from Arm and he thinks he gets it closed before Arm’s slick fingers are suddenly between his legs, sliding over his balls and back further to find his hole.
Arm kisses the inside of Tay’s knee. “Tell me how you want it.”
Tay, right now, wants it however he can get it. He’s not used to being asked, not used to articulating what it is he wants. “Go slow,” he finds himself saying. “Even if I beg.”
Arm smiles like it’s exactly what he was hoping for. His slick finger eases into Tay gently. Tay closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the pillow as Arm works him open. He takes his time, just as Tay asked, drawing out as much pleasure as he can from the slightest movement. When he finally rubs against Tay’s prostate, Tay bites his lip and whimpers.
“More, please…”
“You told me to go slow.”
“I said slow, not… what’s slower than slow?”
Arm chuckles and kisses Tay’s thigh, still rocking a single finger in and out of him at a maddening pace. “You said even if you beg.”
“I’m not begging. I’m demanding.”
“Well, that’s different.”
“It is—” Tay is cut short when Arm pushes a second finger into him and rocks them as deep as he can, twisting them slowly. “Fuck! Fuck….”
“Is that better?” Arm asks as he coaxes Tay back into a state of floating bliss.
Tay rolls his hips with the movement of Arm’s fingers and he grips the sheets under him. He doesn’t want it to ever end, even if his cock is aching and leaking onto his stomach. But he looks up at Arm and it’s too much. Arm is watching him with an expression Tay hasn’t seen on Time’s face since the early days. Maybe not ever. Tears prick at his eyes.
“It’s so good… Glasses, please… it’s so good… I just… I can’t…”
Arm strokes Tay’s leg. Maybe he senses something in the wavering of Tay’s voice. He slides his fingers from Tay without any more teasing and grabs the condom.
“I didn’t want to wait any longer, either,” he says as he tears the package open and rolls the condom onto himself.
Tay leans up to help with the lube, drizzling some into his palm and spreading it over Arm’s cock, stroking him slowly. He watches Arm close his eyes, bite his lip.
“Fuck, Tay…”
“Your turn, Glasses. Tell me what you want. I want to hear it.”
“I want you….”
They kiss hungrily as Arm pushes Tay back down onto the bed and moves over him, positions himself between Tay’s legs.
“I want to fuck you until you forget him.”
Tay closes his eyes and holds on to Arm like he’s the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Maybe he is.
“Forget who? You’re the only one here.”
And then Arm’s cock is pushing into him, stretching and filling him like they he was made to fit. Tay rolls his body up against Arm’s and slides his hands over his ass, holding him where he wants him.
“You’re so good. So perfect,” Tay moans while Arm kisses his neck and they roll their hips together.
Tay wonders how long he could hold out like this, just feeling Arm deep inside him. But Arm cracks first, trembling and moaning Tay’s name with a little whine. Tay would love to test him. But not now. Tay bucks his hips up and squeezes around him deliberately.
And then Arm is thrusting into him over and over, their bodies rubbing together, their moans muffled by desperate kisses. Arm lifts Tay’s legs higher, shifts the angle of his hips until he’s rubbing against Tay’s prostate. Tay holds on so tight his nails dig into Arm’s back. Arm gives and gives until Tay thinks he could come just like this. But he doesn’t want to. He wants more. He remembers dimly that Arm wants to be told….
“Touch me. Glasses… Arm, I need….”
Arm reaches between them to stroke his cock roughly in time with steady, hard thrusts. Sooner than he’d like, Tay arches up off the bed with his orgasm. Arm is kissing him again, his tongue filling Tay’s mouth and Tay feels so good, pleasure easing all the tension from his body, so he can only take what Arm is giving him. And finally, he feels Arm’s body shudder in his arms, feels the grinding of their hips, hears Arm’s soft grunts as he comes.
***
Tay struggles to stay awake as Arm takes care of cleaning up. The night is catching up to him and it would be so easy to close his eyes and sleep. But he waits until Arm returns and settles into bed beside him.
“Don’t go anywhere, alright?” he says sleepily.
Arm wraps his arms around Tay and kisses the back of his head. “Why would I go?”
“I don’t know. Just don’t.”
“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Tay relaxes back against Arm’s body, feeling more secure and relaxed than he has in years. “Good night,” he says before drifting off to sleep.