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It’s a slow, peaceful night. The stars and shattering moon give life to the blue sky. Snowflakes are gently falling on the prestigious school known as Beacon Academy. Guests are all gathered in an amphitheater, waiting for the start of a special occasion. Once the darkness and commotion settle, a green-garbed man steps to the front of a stage. A spotlight shines on him, bright and warm like the smile on his face.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he says. “On behalf of our participants, I would like to thank you for coming out to celebrate a very special holiday, full of laughter, love, and family. It is one where we are able to set aside our differences as humans, Faunus, or any other type of creature on this planet. And to show our appreciation, four lovely ladies have decided to create a project that I’m sure will be worth your while. So without further ado, the friends, staff, and students of Beacon present to you: The Twelve Days of Nondescript Winter Holiday!” And with that, the man waves his arm toward the opening curtains behind him and exits.
The audience gives a thunderous round of applause, gazing upon a group of familiar faces and a wide assortment of props before them. At the side of the stage is the old shopkeep sitting at a piano. After stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles, he lowers his fingers onto the keys. They dance, creating a soft, melodious intro that rings throughout the room. Perfectly on cue, students possessing certain multi-purpose weapons step forward as everyone else sings,
“On the first day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…”
The students in front draw their weapons and point them at each other, belting, “A weapon that’s also a gun!” Then, they all back away, except a girl wearing dark and red highlights.
Bouncing a little further, Ruby sheathes her weapon and sings in a bubbly voice to match her personality, “On the second day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” She points at her wide, gleaming eyes and belts out, “Two silver eyes…”
“And a weapon that’s also a gun!” she finishes with the gang. Once she steps aside, another girl with white hair and an ice-cold persona steps beside her.
Ruby’s partner Weiss clears her throat and lets out the most beautiful voice. “On the third day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” Before she finishes her line, the rest of the girls’ team rushes to their side, and they all pose. “Three teammates…”
“Two silver eyes,” Ruby sings.
“And a weapon that’s also a gun!” everyone chimes in. All but one member return to their original spots.
Lazily marching forward is a black-haired girl donning cat ears. Blake’s face droops as if she would rather be in her dorm reading, instead of being dragged into this play. She groans, “On the fourth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” An exhale passes her lips, and her ears fold. “Four potential lovers.”
Suddenly, voices from every direction call out her name. Four people dash to her side, crowing around her: a masked man, a tall blonde, a guy with a monkey tail, and a girl who can change colors. One by one, they push and shove each other to try and sweep her off her feet. All she can do is stand there and endure this train wreck of a serenade.
“Please, come back, my love!” the masked man begs.
“I’ll be your hero if you pick me!” says Sun, the monkey-tailed boy.
The afore-mentioned potential lover shoves him. “Think of how we can change the world.”
“C’mon, Blake! I thought we were partners!” chimes the blonde.
“Look at me the way you used to look at Adam!” Ilia, the color-changer, yells, her freckles turning pink as she and the blonde block the guys.
But the persistent masked man pops up in front of them. “We can start the fires of revolution like old ti —” A tail wraps around his waist and yanks him away.
“Over here, Blake!” Sun calls.
Ilia inches closer to the cat-eared girl with a clenched fist. “You want me to break their teeth for you?
“Let me be your bumblebee!” the blonde yells while pushing Ilia.
They get so caught up in their fiasco that they don’t notice something strange about their love interest, not until one of them asks who she would choose. They wait for a response, but she just stands, as if frozen.
“Blake?” one of them calls and reaches out to touch her. Suddenly, she vanishes into thin, black air, making them all finch.
“Where’d she go?’ another from the group asks.
Looking around for her teammate, Weiss sings her line. Ruby points at her eyes without a care in the world and sings her part while everyone else joins in at the end.
On the next part of the performance, a spotlight beams in the middle of the stage. The tall blonde from before enters underneath it by sliding on her knees. Ruby’s older sister Yang recites her part in a cheery voice,
“On the fifth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” She reaches behind her and pulls out a small microphone, shouting, “Five punny jokes!”
Color drains from everyone’s faces as the small voice of Ruby is heard from the side replying, “Say what, now?”
“That’s right! Five jokes to spruce up the holiday spirit! I guarantee, Yule die laughing at these!” Yang snickers. However, the performers behind her are left to groan. “But, before I start, I’d like to say a big Happy Howl-idays to all the Grimm out there for making it to this play! Get it? Howl-idays?” And on that note, she doubles over. “Ha—ha—ha! I sleigh myself!” This prompts a whole chorus of groaning and booing from the audience. The jokes are enough to make even the shopkeep hit a sour note on the piano.
Off to the side of the stage, Ruby facepalms. Right by her side, Weiss skims through some pages in a small booklet and whispers,
“Whose idea was it to tell jokes? It’s not even in the script!”
Ruby shrugs. “I don’t know.” Then, she urges the shopkeep to play along and move the performance forward. “Let’s hope the next performer can pick things up.”
Weiss freezes. “I don’t think that’ll happen anytime soon.”
“Why not?” Silver eyes fall on a particular spot that her partner points to. “Oh, boy…”
Meanwhile, Yang staggers to her feet, nearly out of breath. She wipes a tear while being completely unaware of a glimpse of red lurking in the shadows.
Creeping behind her, the masked man from earlier speaks in a low, rough voice. “On the sixth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” Unsheathing his weapon, Adam shouts, “Six arms a-flailing!” He raises his sword.
But, before he can swing, Yang faces him. “Whoa there! Be careful with that! You’ll have people on edge swinging that around!”
“What?”
“Yang!” shouts Ruby. “Get away from him!”
The older sister turns to the crowd, letting the Faunus get closer. “I’ll be back folks! There’s plenty more where that came from! My jokes are always a cut above the rest!” One small chuckle, and she blasts away from the spotlight using her gauntlets. All Adam can do is huff, facepalm, and exit.
The shopkeep cues the next performers. Three figures stand in the dark as the spotlight flies around before landing on the one in the middle. Catching the audience’s eyes is a young, blue-haired man. A friend of team RWBY, Neptune sings his part.
“On the seventh day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” Just then, he poses. Beside him, more spotlights flash on the other two performers posing with him. One is a black-haired boy, and the other is a red-haired girl. Neptune’s lips curl into a smile as he exclaims, “Seven dancing lessons!”
The boy, Ren, counts while snapping his fingers, “And five, six, seven, eight!”
The shopkeep change tunes. An upbeat song rises from the depths of the piano, prompting the three to dance exceptionally well. Their graceful, striking moves keep the crowd cheering and clapping along. Everything goes well until…
BAM!
Neptune flies through the air, shrieking from an arm whacking him in the face. The other two dancers wince the moment he lands. Clutching her chest in shock, the red-haired girl Pyrrha yells,
“I’m sorry!”
Stars dance around Neptune’s head. A shake is all it takes for him to snap out of it and notice he has landed on someone. Underneath him, to everyone’s surprise, is… “Blake?” He extends an arm to help her up, and she dusts herself. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in the play?”
“Well…” she begins.
“There she is!” Blake’s ears twitch at the sound of shouting, and she runs off once again, her “potential lovers” chasing after. Neptune shrugs as he makes his way back.
Meanwhile, many tables have been lined alongside each other on the stage. Plates full of sweet, sugary delights stack upon each other as a teammate of Pyrrha and Ren’s pops out of nowhere. Nora, with her valley girl voice, sings at the top of her lungs,
“On the eighth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” She pulls out a hammer and a bottle of syrup. “Eight stacks of pancakes!”
Winding her arms back, Nora whacks one of the tables, and the stacks soar through the air. Her mouth opens wide, and a trail of saliva runs down her chin.
Her friends and teammates gather around, chanting her name.
No more than three stacks land right in her mouth, and she suddenly grows as big as half of the stage. A large belch causes her to drop her hammer, and she covers her mouth. “Whoops! Lemme get that!” Nora stretches her arm, only to fail miserably by rolling away. The shopkeep leaps onto his piano before she passes by and crashes through a wall. Everyone gives a wide-eyed stare as she keeps going. Silence ensues for seconds until…
“I guess you could say she was on a…roll,” Yang blurts out.
Like before, groans and complaints fill the whole room.
This is when the green-suited man enters. “Right. Well…I do suppose I’ll take it from here.” The music resumes, cueing Ozpin, Beacon’s headmaster, to sing in a calm, soothing voice, “On the ninth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” He walks to a table behind him where nine white mugs sit, steam rising from all of them. “Nine cups of coffee.”
When he takes a sip from one of the cups, Ruby, Weiss, Yang, Pyrrha, Ren, and Neptune each take one for themselves.
Ozpin looks at the audience. “What? You thought I was going to drink them all?” He laughs. “Don’t be silly! That would be…” Out of nowhere, a strange, green form zips by, swiping one of the two remaining mugs. “His job,” Ozpin finishes.
Zooming to yet another table, one filled with a large number of adorable dogs, is Dr. Oobleck. His fast-speaking nearly confuses everyone in the room. “On the tenth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” He pulls out a thermos. “Ten corgis flying.” Triggering some kind of mechanism, he transforms it into a flame thrower. One swing for each of them sends them ricocheting everywhere. Exact replicas of Ruby and Yang’s dog bark within the harmless flames.
Like the audience, Yang watches in amazement while being totally unaware of Adam creeping up again. On the bright side, the blonde is saved by one of the flaming corgis tackling him. Every now and then, people have to duck until the dogs escape through the hole Nora left.
With the doctor’s part finished, a red-dressed woman storms to the front of the stage. With deep hatred and annoyance settling on her face, Cinder slouches, grumbling her line. “On the eleventh day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…”
BOOM!
An explosion and a high-pitched scream come from her right. A young man hurries back and forth; his spiky, gray hair is caught on fire. Right behind him is a short girl trying to put out the flames using a pink, white, and brown umbrella.
The young man, Mercury, shouts to the woman, “Cinder! Help!”
Chasing after him is Neo holding a sign that says, “Hold still, dum-dum!”
While all of this is happening, a suave-looking man approaches his boss. “Cinder, have you seen my hat?” He gives some sort of smooth pose. “I can’t look as criminally-handsome without it!”
When criminal mastermind Roman Torchwick looks down from the stage for his favorite accessory, a fourth henchman, or rather henchwoman, is seen with two monstrous creatures in the background. Emerald tosses what turns out to be a black bowler hat over a Geist Grimm toward a Beowolf.
“What’s wrong, Floyd? Can’t catch?” yells the Beowolf.
“I told you before, Marty! My hands are flimsy!” the Geist Grimm retorts.
Upon realization, Roman and Cinder turn around.
The former rushes to them, his face scrunching. “Hey! Get your paws off of that!” But just before he can reach them, an Ursa tackles him to the ground. Three more pile on him.
From the corner of his eye, Marty spots another Beowolf at a nearby goal. Sporting a large grin, he calls, “Mike! Go long!” He throws the hat as hard as he can. Every single person watches it fly through the air.
Running on all fours, Mike leaps right in front of the goal. Roman’s favorite accessory comes hurling his way. All eyes are on him, wandering and waiting to see if he catches it or not. It’s as if time slowed down. The Beowolf opens his mouth wider than ever before, saliva flinging everywhere. And, as expected, the hat gets caught in his teeth, and he lands perfectly. The whole amphitheater lets out a roar of praise while he raises his arms in the air.
“Touchdown!” he yells. Then, he chucks the hat downward and breaks into dance. “Go, Mikey! Go, Mikey!”
“That’s how it’s done!” Emerald gives a thumbs up.
“Yeah!” Marty chimes, and they bump chests.
Right when the hype dies down, Cinder faces her audience once more, the scowl still on her face. She finally finishes her sentence. “Eleven worthless henchmen.” Mercury nearly knocks her down while passing, his hair almost extinguished. Her head whips in his direction. “Hey! Watch where you’re —”
BAM!
A sign bops her on the head. Neo, realizing what just happened, stares in fear and shock at the yellow eyes shooting darts at her. Immediately, she goes back the way she came.
Fortunately, all of this commotion doesn’t disrupt the final part of the whole performance—at least, not yet. On one more table is a set of flasks. A black bird enters. In a puff of smoke, a man with black hair and red eyes appears before everyone. Ruby and Yang’s uncle Qrow sings in a gruff voice,
“On the twelfth day of Nondescript, dear Monty gave to me…” He flips behind the table and grabs one of the containers. “Twelve flasks of whiskey.” Then, he gulps down the whole thing and swipes another.
Cinder trudges to his side and takes the third. “You mind if I drink one?”
Qrow shrugs, to which she obliges. The moment the few sips of alcohol hit her throat, she blanks, feeling some strange sensation. She blanks and, then, sputters. “What’s with this stuff?” she demands. “It’s stronger than before! What else is in here?”
“Oh, just some of that energy drink from earlier,” the drunkard replies.
Cinder takes one look at her flask. Like the rest, in big, bold letters is a label saying,
“Whiskey: Now with Torch-Quick Energy Drink!”
Golden-yellow eyes pop. Cinder drops the flask and drops to her knees. Her hands clutch her neck as she continues coughing. “Oh, dear gods, no!” The fierce sting in her throat causes her to writhe on the floor.
Qrow is left to stare for a moment, but he merely gives another shrug and keeps drinking.
At the same time, Yang pops up and jabs, “Ooh, that’s too bad. Looks like that drink was a little too whiskey for her.” Unfortunately, for Ruby, this turns out to be one joke too many, seeing how everyone boos louder than the past few times.
Ruby’s partner groans to her. “This girl is really ruining our vision.”
Ruby nods. “On the bright side, things can’t get any worse, right?”
Wrong. Things do get worse, because Nora returns by crashing through the other side of the building and onstage. To add to this, the many flaming corgis fly in afterward.
Nora stops abruptly and drops the pancake hanging out of her mouth. The delicacy nearly hits a passing Blake in the face as her “lovers” follow. Nora’s sight falls on a lone mug sitting on a table near her hand. She gasps. “Is that coffee?”
Ren and Pyrrha take notice, shouting along with the audience, “Nora! No!”
Their cries come too late when, using as much strength as she can, she whacks the table. The mug catapults through the air and into her wide-open mouth. What comes next makes Ren yell, “Everyone! Take cover!”
The audience follows, screams filling the place the moment the girl starts twitching. This grows more and more intense until…
WHOOSH!
Exactly like the dogs, Nora zips around, crashing into the walls. Some debris from the impact begins to fall. They barely miss the moving crowd.
The double doors swing open. A swarm of humans, Faunus, and Grimm empty the room. Among them are Emerald, Mercury with his hair still on fire, and Neo trying to put it out. Leading them out is Pyrrha, repeating,
“Sorry! Sorry! I’m so sorry!”
On the other hand, Yang rushes onstage clutching her mic. She tries to bring them all back. “H-hey! Don’t leave yet! I’ve still got some more jokes that’ll bring the house down! Yeah! They’ll give some of these other comedians a run for their money! Get it? Run? ‘Cause you’re all…” Sadly, her words fall on deaf ears, but they do catch the attention of one bull Faunus.
Much like when Yang first came up, Adam sneaks behind her, hand on the hilt of his sword. Sadly for him he doesn’t notice the leftover pancake Nora dropped. Right when the blonde blasts away, he trips and thuds hard on his back and the pancake on his face. The searing pain makes it hard for him to get up. “Can…can someone give me a hand?” he asks everyone still around. Good news: He gets a hand. Bad news…
BLAM!
He’s knocked out by a gold robotic arm.
“Whoops!” Yang calls out from the side.
To make matters worse, the Ursa that piled on Roman now pile on him.
And to make it even worse than that, the impact from their piling causes all of Beacon to shake. The shock from how bad everything’s going causes Ruby, Weiss, and everyone else still inside to slouch.
“Not again,” Ruby grumbles as everything caves in.
All of the strange, yet crazy, negativity is enough to bring a large, flying Grimm over and hang onto a broken Beacon tower. Claiming its position, it lets out a huge roar.
While the whole fiasco is going on, somewhere, on another continent, a ghost-white lady enjoys the show from the eyes of a Seer Grimm.
“I don’t believe it…” At first, she stares in complete astonishment. But she, immediately, curls her lips into a simple smile, a light bulb going off in her head. A hand rests under her chin as she channels another location. “Watts,” she calls.
A deep, formal voice answers her. “Yes, ma’am?”
“I would like you to do something for me. Go to Atlas Academy and make a negotiation with the general by any means necessary. It may get heated, so take Tyrian with you to be safe.”
“A negotiation? Of what sort, if I may ask?”
Just then, the woman leans forward, her red eyes glowing as she states in a serious tone,
“See if he’s a fan of…stage plays.”