Chapter Text
It was quiet.
Raph wasn’t used to this kind of silence.
There was always some kind of noise around him, whether it was the sound of his brothers lightly bickering, the exciting clashes of being in battle, or even if it was just the faint murmur of sewage water flowing through pipes as he lay in bed in the middle of the night. There was never a moment in his life he could remember that was completely silent. But not this time. The quiet all around him was so unusual that it almost made him feel suffocated. He felt his body twitch, absently noting how the strange goop around him absorbed the movement. He winced involuntarily as the small movement worsened his pounding headache and the ache in his wounded shoulder.
His lungs burned as he had no choice but to inhale the thick liquid he was surrounded in, but he couldn’t seem to open his eyes no matter how hard he tried. It was as if he was wide awake, but he couldn’t force his body to listen or move at all - his mind and body were separated, lost in two completely different locations, barely held together. A second uncontrollable shudder swept through his body as he began to remember the slimy, pulsing tentacles used to hold him in place while being interrogated, before finally losing consciousness.
“You’re more powerful than the people of this planet, yet you defend them… Why?”
“It’s my DUTY.” Raph growled.
The chuckling response from the Kraang in charge infuriated him.
“A word used by the weak.”
No. Raph wasn’t weak. He couldn’t be. He was the big brother, the protector, the defender. Raph could never be weak. Raph is strong. Even if the Kraang had captured him, he had saved his family and that’s all that mattered.
Raph is strong.
Raph had to be strong.
Raph had to be strong or else… Or else…
In the darkness, he remembered Leo’s horrified face staring back up at him as he shielded him from getting impaled. His throat felt tight with emotion thinking of the way his little brother’s lip quivered, as blood and chunks of his own shell splattered around them. His heart ached as he remembered how Leo slowly came out of his stupor and began to desperately plead as the escape pod began to close around him, before finally closing shut and sending him to safety along with the rest of his family. Sending him home.
Another twitch. Raphael could feel everything, right down to the slow and monotone beat of his own heart. But he had no sense of control, no way to compel his body to listen to his own commands. It felt like he was watching himself drown from far, far away. Maybe he was already dead, he thought for a split moment. But this couldn’t be death… why would he still feel? Why could he still think? He finally recalled the tentacles shoving themselves into his head, encircling his eyes and brain, painfully leeching onto his memories.
“You don’t have to tell me,” the voice of that… monster still rang clear through his head.
“I’ll look myself.”
Wait. No. No… he had failed. He hadn’t saved his siblings. Those monsters knew where they were now, all because of him. It was his fault. Maybe this was some kind of hell, made just for him. Some minor part of him felt oddly relieved at the thought of being given the punishment he deserved, before the sudden rush of pure fear surrounded him. He felt his throat begin to burn with a choking sob that his body was completely unable to cry out. His family was in trouble, and he couldn’t do anything about it anymore.
He was stuck, he was helpless, and he had just unwillingly given the Krang the location of his family’s hideout. He had put them in danger, and he was absolutely terrified.
As the horror set in, another indescribable emotion came with it. A feeling from deep within his mind, as if it had escaped his body and gotten lost along with his sense of self. It felt like it was wrapping around him, telling him that he was alone. All alone.
And it was absolutely his fault.
All of a sudden, there was a harsh shift in gravity. He was… falling?
It was still so quiet- and so, unquestionably dark. His sense of time had become so skewed that he couldn't tell how long he had even been falling for. Raphael finally felt his body lurch to a halt, and he could just barely make out some kind of vague chattering going on around him. Something sliced through the ooze and fresh air assaulted his lungs. His ears rang as he struggled to comprehend the sudden clear and loud noises going on around him. He could barely make sense of the present and past anymore. It hurt. Everything hurts. His mind still felt so far away and the darkness that had once surrounded him, engulfed him, was now blindingly bright.
Almost immediately, something vicious started to whisper to him from deep inside, getting louder and louder with each passing second. It was getting so loud, he could barely comprehend what the voice outside of his body was trying to say. It was overwhelming him, and he felt himself stray even further from reality.
It… They wanted out. They needed out. And they were going to carve away at the last tether his mind had over his body to get their wish, whether he liked it or not.
“Hang on big brother, we’ve got you.”
What? A big brother? Where is he?
“Almost there.”
Who were they talking to?
“...Raph?”
Something inside him finally snapped at the mention of the name, and the last thread of sanity that was holding him together unraveled at a frightening speed. His name? No… that wasn't his name, something internally hissed at him. He didn’t have a name. He… he wasn’t Raph. He wasn’t anything. He was nothing but a vessel.
His eye was suddenly screaming in pain, but he couldn’t really comprehend the feeling at the same time. With the last of his strength, he threw off whatever tried to touch him, desperate to prevent the invading tentacles from grabbing hold of anyone or anything else. They dug through his body, latching onto flesh and shell and bone in victory. He screamed in agony as they finally took over him, digging through his nerves and arteries.
As he faded off into nothing and let the screeching whims of the Kraang take over, he found himself wondering if the oddly comforting voice he had heard earlier was safe, and if they’d ever find the one they called Raph.
What a nice last thought to have.
Donatello hit the ground with a harsh thud, narrowly avoiding the sudden heavy blow of the tentacle that had been sneaking up on him and his younger brother. They had been trying to figure out the best way to get that little square Kraang creature out of the center console and take over the ship, before being ambushed and plummeting down a significant height.
“Uh, new plan…” Mikey muttered, still recovering from his own rough landing.
“Run!”
The console room quickly became a disorientating mess of spikes and tentacles as they both began to dodge, weave, flip and scramble to avoid being slammed into and thrown back into walls. Every time one of them managed to avoid being hit, another attack was halfway across their field of vision. As much as he hated to admit it, Donatello was starting to panic. There was just too much happening and he couldn’t manage to get a good grasp of his surroundings before he found himself ducking under yet another tentacle. Ugh. Slimy. Everything was slimy and wet and nauseating and- maybe he really should have tried to stay with April’s team?
No, no. If anyone was going to figure out how to operate this dumb squid ship, it was going to be him. Just as he steeled himself to retaliate against an upcoming wall of wriggling nightmares, he heard a loud bang towards the command console and turned to see Mikey popping out of his shell and a detached Krang being thrown at the wall.
“Bravo, Mikey!” Donnie exclaimed happily, rushing up to the console quickly.
Huh, that was strange. There weren’t any buttons or levers or even a screen to figure out how to operate the ship. In fact, it was just a large rectangle filled to the brim with a disgusting oozy mess of flesh. It was wriggling and pulsing softly, almost as if it were alive. He heard the box turtle slowly walk up beside him, cringing at the sight before them. They both seemed to realize the only way to try and command the ship at the same time, rather, Donny figured that Mikey knew but was keeping silent until he volunteered the information out loud on his own. Regardless, he mustered up all his strength and voiced it for both of them.
“Oh god… I know what I have to do.” He whispered.
“W-what?” Mikey replied, eyebrows furrowing.
Donatello wasn’t sure he could really do this. The mass of quivering flesh was just so slimy and grotesque that it was affecting his entire body. He felt himself begin to dry-heave at the very idea of touching the damn thing, let alone shoving his arms into it.
“No, I don’t think I can do this.” Donnie said, refusing to elaborate any more than he had to.
“What are you talking about?”
He couldn’t bring himself to reply further, using all of his willpower to avoid becoming sick right then and there. He had to stay strong here, he was the only one who could do it. Mikey was counting on him, Leon was counting on him, Raph… He needed to do this to save his older brother. To save his father, and April, and even Casey Junior, who traveled across the entire space-time continuum for this. Hell, the whole world was going to end if he couldn’t do this. He vaguely recognized the sound of his sibling also beginning to gag in the background as he connected the dots.
What should he do? What should he do? He can’t do this. He can’t do this at all. Maybe there was some other way to access the controls, maybe they could search the separate sections of the machine and find some kind of USB input or something, anything at all to avoid-
“I believe in you!” Mikey cried desperately, interrupting his train of thought.
“No, this is my worst nightmare!” He snapped back in fear.
“I know.”
Something in Mikey’s voice hit a chord deep within Donatello, giving him a surge of courage. He could do this. He could do this, as long as it meant that his family would be okay. And the world too, he supposed, but his priority at that exact moment was anywhere but on the grand scale of things. Little Angelo was right next to him, genuinely and desperately counting on him to do this. That was all the motivation he needed.
Donatello slammed his two fists into the console, the mass giving way beneath the pressure before small tendrils began to climb their way up his forearms. They tingled as they continued farther and farther up his arms, suctioning tight to his skin and pulling at his scales as they surpassed his elbows before finally stopping just below his shoulders. He winced, slightly pulling his arms away again in defeat.
“It’s not working...” he groaned. “I need more of a connection.”
He had to get closer. Donnie was preparing himself for the verbal fight of a lifetime to convince Mikey that taking off his battle shell was the only way they were going to be able to do this, when they heard a clattering of metal from across the room. They were running out of time. That little Krang was already starting to wake up from his knockout.
“There’s no time, hurry!” Donatello reassured his sibling.
He breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the weight of his protective battle shell lifted off his shoulders without further argument. The tendrils had unlatched themselves from his arms excitedly, as if they were waiting for him to give more of himself over to their grasp. Without a second thought, he closed his eyes and turned his back to the console. He could do this. He had to do this.
Donatello held back a yelp as the tendrils grasped onto him, drilling into his back with extreme precision. It felt like hundreds of tiny live worms were crawling around inside him, biting into his very being. And just like that, he was finally in. He could barely believe it. It was like he had just been given a glimpse of the universe itself, like everything he had ever dreamed about, was dangling just out of his grasp. This was true knowledge, true power. He considered himself an incredibly intelligent man, but this was… beyond his wildest dreams.
If only he had the time to digest all the information that had just invaded his mind, but with no time to spare, he focused himself on setting the huge ship in reverse, back through the prison dimension it was trying to escape. He may not be able to comprehend exactly how he was managing this, but he’d keep all his mental notes for when they all got back home and he was safe in his lab once more.
“ Finally, man and machine entwined in perfect bionic synergy!”
It’s almost over, he thought happily. Almost, almost, almost… Come on, Von Ryan, you’ve got this.
And truly, he almost did. In an instant, it was ripped away from him. In the most literal sense. He screamed he was unceremoniously dragged out of the console, the tentacles that had carefully dug through his shell and wrapped around his nervous system tearing through his flesh. The pain was instant, and yet, he could barely do anything to soothe himself as his arms and legs fell limply about him. His mind went into hyperdrive as his body failed him. Paralysis? No, he couldn’t be. He couldn’t be paralyzed, he still needed to move, he still needed to help! Maybe he just needed time to recover before being able to move his body again. That must be it.
As he began to spiral into an informative internal mess of the symptoms and prognosis of all the possible forms of paralysis he could be permanently stuck with, he heard a familiar voice amongst the harsh sounds of violence occurring around him.
Leonardo.
With a grunt, Donatello finally managed to open his eyes once more, taking a glance down at himself enclosed in tentacles. He was completely trapped. No wonder he couldn’t budge his arms or legs at all, this was honestly a little more relieving than the concept of being incapacitated for the rest of his life. Ignoring the static feeling radiating from his legs, his eyes continued to search frantically for the voice he had heard earlier. He almost wished he had left them closed once he found his dear brother. Donnie felt his heart pound tightly in his chest. Leo was… Leonardo was defenseless, strangled, his legs dangling a foot above the ground, saying something to his captor- No. No, it can’t be. I’d recognize that massive spiked shell anywhere. No… please, no.
“I always figured you were mad because you didn’t like the way I did things.”
Leo winced, tripping over his feet as he dodged yet another sharpened blow from the mutilated body of his Kraang-possessed older brother. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. Fighting a powerhouse like his older brother during training had always been tough, even when Raph was holding back. Fighting Raph while he was completely Kraangified and genuinely trying to murder him, after he had sacrificed himself to get Leo and that stupid key to safety? Way more difficult than Leo wanted to admit, in more ways than one. The thick tentacle wrapped around his neck and tightened, pulling him up into a chokehold before he could move out of the way.
“But when I see what’s happening to you… and what’s happening to them?”
Leo grunted out, looking helplessly at Raph's malformed face before sparing a glance at his captured siblings. God, this was all his fault. He did this. He caused this. If he had taken his role as leader even a little more seriously in the two years since their father threw it onto him, they could have all been safe and sound at home. If only he didn’t argue with Raph every step of the way. They could have…
“I realized it wasn’t about me.” he admitted, desperately clutching at what used to be his older brother’s arm as it tightened further around him.
“You didn’t yell because you were mad.” Leo continued.
“You yelled because you were scared.”
His grip on the tentacle absorbing his brother’s arm tightened as he felt the grip squeeze tighter and tighter around his throat, Raph’s other clawed arm pulling back to aim at him. Leo deserved this, he thought to himself. He deserved to sacrifice the way his older brother had. And if he had to go, he thought for a second that maybe being taken out by his own brother was a blessing in a way. A form of repentance. At least, until he glanced at Donnie and Mikey once more.
What was I thinking?
Leo felt himself beginning to choke up in horror and frustration. His brothers weren’t safe yet. He couldn’t repent yet. Not like this. This wasn’t enough. He had to make sure they were going to be okay. All three of them. Even if…
Oh.
Even if he had to sacrifice, it would be worth it as long as his brothers were okay.
Oh.
He struggled to take a breath, looking back into Raph’s eyes with a newfound understanding.
“It’s scary to be responsible for the lives you protect… Your team. Your family. But…”
He heard his youngest sibling’s recognizable sobs as he continued. Leo finally understood why Raph had shielded him without any hesitation, why he had given him the last escape pod, why he was standing there in front of him now, bloodied, broken, and infected with a gaping hole in his carapace.
Everything would be worth it as long as his brothers would be okay.
Everything.
Raphael never cared about being a hero for the sake of being a hero. He cared about being a hero because it kept his family safe and sound. That was the only thing that mattered. That’s what should have mattered. But Leonardo hadn’t been ready. He didn’t want to be ready. In the back of his mind, he didn’t want to accept the responsibility that came with being called a leader. It was too much for him.
So he rejected it, fighting Raph and ignoring his advice at every single turn. A part of him hoped his brother would just convince their father to let him take back the leadership role, but no matter how angry he had gotten Raph, it never worked. The snapper would just keep hounding him over and over about being a “hero”.
But now?
Now he understood what Raph had been trying to tell him all along.
It wasn’t about being a hero for the sake of being a hero. It was about keeping his family safe and sound, no matter what. And while Leo might have failed before, he wasn’t going to fail now.
He couldn’t afford to.
“We do it anyway, because that’s what it means to be a hero. If this is it, I want you to know that I finally understand.” he choked out, letting go of the tentacle and lowering his arms in submission.
“And I’m sorry.”
.
.
.
A blinding flash of scarlet energy burst through the room. Leo could feel it resound through every cell in his body, warm and comforting. Safe. Strong. Secure. It felt like everything his older brother was, he realized, as the vice grip around his neck suddenly let loose and dropped him to the floor. Leo inhaled sharply at the impact, before looking up at his brother to see him clutching and pulling and tearing at the right side of his face. He was fighting it! He was trying to come back!
“Raph! Raph, there you are! Come back, your family needs you!”
Raph finally looked at him, truly looked at him, before saying his name softly. In an instant, Leon was running towards him desperately, ignoring all the aches and pains his body felt in response. He hadn’t fully realized just how much he had missed his eldest brother’s reassuring voice until he thought he wouldn’t ever hear it again. His excitement was dashed when a loud screech from the Kraang commanded tendrils to seize him, dragging him farther away from Raph and digging through his flesh painfully.
He shouted out at his siblings in determination. They could do this. They could fight against this.
They could win.
He felt his own mystic energy return to him, filling him with determination and endurance. Leonardo finally felt confident again, and feeling the familiar burst of both Michelangelo and Donatello’s energy finally unleash one after another after him, he knew they were all going to be safe soon.
But lord, at what cost?
He couldn’t do anything as he watched Raph cry out in pain once more, gripping the right side of his face and- Oh fuck. He silently thanked every higher power he could think of that Raph was still facing him and not Donnie or little Mikey.
Leo watched in horror as his older brother let out one final cry before ripping out his infected eye clean out of his skull, bloody chunks of flesh and viscera coming off with it. His brother’s arms seemed to nearly fold in on themselves as the remaining infection screeched and cried before tearing off of him and shriveling up onto the floor, pulling rough skin and scales off muscle as its screeching finally died out. Raph was bleeding profusely, to the point that Leo wasn’t really sure how his brother was still even conscious. And yet, even through all the agony he must have been in, Raph was there, looking at Leo with nothing but reassurance and strength reflecting off his remaining eye.
The same selfless look that had irritated and slightly terrified Leo so many times in their past. The look that Leo never really understood the meaning behind until it had nearly cost him everything.
And he finally, finally understood.
And he’d be damned if he didn’t put his newfound knowledge to keep his family safe.
Even if he had to sacrifice his life in return.
In Michelangelo's entire lifetime, he had never felt the way he did at this exact moment. Sure, he hadn’t been alive all that long but… He knew nothing could have ever really prepared him for this kind of situation.
He stared up at the sky in shock, his entire chest burning with emotion and pain and this horrifyingly indescribable feeling of loss. This just couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real.
Leo was just there with them! He had been right there, fighting right alongside them against that monster. They were all fighting in sync, feeding off each other’s movements and, and… and Mikey had even managed to throw an entire building at that damn square alien and it didn’t even matter. In an instant, he and Donnie were plummeting back down to earth like they were nothing but pebbles.
He vaguely remembered being covered by Raphael’s mystic energy as they fell faster and faster back down to earth, protecting them from harm. Raph was finally back where he belonged, right beside him and Donnie. But Leo wasn’t there. He wasn’t there, and Michael could feel his heart pounding in his chest faster and faster as he continued staring up at the fizzling explosion that took his brother away.
He felt his cheeks burn with fresh tears as he realized he wasn’t going to wake up from this nightmare. No one was going to shake him awake and reassure him that everything was going to be okay. He was already awake.
This was real.
Leo was gone.
“Leo, please don’t do this! Leo!” Raph had cried into his receiver, his deep voice cracking in desperation.
“You’re one to talk, big bro. Hero moves are totally your style.”
Mikey wanted to scream, but he couldn’t manage to get his throat to work properly. He felt like his entire body was burning up in frustration and agony. His fists clenched hard, nails digging into his palms. Hero moves? Hero moves shouldn’t include sacrificing yourself to a cursed prison dimension all alone, while your brothers sat helpless thousands and thousands of miles away.
Mikey didn’t want Leo to be a hero.
He just wanted his brother back home.
Back where he belonged.
He felt his energy burn stronger and stronger deep within him. He wanted his brother back, and he was going to do whatever it took in order to make that happen.
“You’re the most powerful mystic warrior the world has ever known. With those two hands, you sent me back in time.”
Michael held his hands up, one last time. It felt different than the other times he had tried earlier. This time, he felt a sense of determination that just wasn’t there before. He was absolutely sick and tired of watching his siblings all sacrifice their health and safety to protect everything but themselves. Over and over and over again, he had watched each of them put themselves in harm's way. Not anymore. He watched his hands start to shake as energy began to spark between them. His tears, once burning his cheeks, now felt freezing cold as they continued pouring down his face.
“Mikey, it’s over…” Raph whispered.
“Leo never gave up on us. I’m not giving up on him.” He replied, hating how absolutely broken his eldest brother’s voice sounded.
With one final burst of energy, he watched in awe as a portal began to open in front of him. It reminded him a tad bit of Leo’s portals, but felt completely different. While Leo’s portals had grown to give off an aura of confidence and pride, this portal seemed weak and unsure but determined to stay open regardless. Golden sparks flew through the air, and Mikey would have probably been mesmerized by the sheer beauty of it all if he wasn’t sure his arms were about to rip straight off of his body.
The pain was intense, creeping up his upper limbs with growing intensity, but he refused to stop. He couldn’t. Not after everything they’ve been through these past few days. The portal grew wider and wider, and the more determined Mikey became to power through the pain, the stronger the portal seemed to stand. He instinctively knew that this was too much, looking away from the portal for a brief second to glance at his hands. They looked almost as though they were flaking away, cracking and screaming and melting from within.
He closed his eyes, resigned to make a “hero move” of his own, before feeling two steady weights fall onto his shoulders.
“We’re here, Mikey. Together.”
That’s right. He wasn’t alone. He could do this. They could do this. They were going to get Leo back home, right where he belonged.
“Took you guys long enough.”
Mikey’s eyes widened, looking through the portal to finally see his missing brother on the other side. Leo looked back at them weakly, bruised and bloodied in the darkness, but he was alive. A burst of red energy flew past Mikey’s side as Raph pushed his other arm through the portal to grab Leo’s hand securely.
But he wasn’t fast enough.
Leo let out an anguished cry as the Kraang latched onto his right leg and broke through the skin and scales, clawing through the muscle with ease. His screams only grew louder as the monster pulled his leg back, trying to drag him back toward the darkness.
“Leo!” Raph screamed helplessly, voice raw and hands preoccupied.
A second flash of purple flew past them both, slamming into the monster’s face with such ferocity that it finally let go of Leo’s mangled leg and flew back into the depths of the vast prison dimension it belonged in. Michelangelo glanced over his shoulder at Donnie and held in a shiver. His face looked near-emotionless, save for his eyes. His eyes were seething with rage and pure murderous intent. He was breathing heavily, and despite his full attention being on getting the creature off of their sibling, Mikey couldn’t help but notice Donnie was leaning his entire body weight onto him rather than standing on his own.
Raph pulled hard, and with one final tug Leonardo was dragged through back to earth. As soon as Mikey saw Leo collapse into Raph’s plastron, he quickly released his energy and closed the portal. His arms felt charred and molten as if he had dipped them in lava, but it was worth it just to see all of his siblings back in one place.
He fell to his knees next to Raphael, who was cradling Leo carefully in his arms on the ground. Donnie grunted as he fell with him, still gripping the box turtle’s shoulder tightly as a crutch.
“Leo?” Raph asked softly.
Michelangelo watched his older brother’s striped face intently, breath hitching as Leo cracked open his eyes just enough to glance around at the three of them.
“Ew… are we in Staten Island?”
A small sob racked through Mikey’s body as he slowly leaned in to rest his forehead softly on Leo’s plastron. He was really back. They did it. His brothers were all back home. He felt a hand rest gently over his shell as Donnie let out a deep, exhausted sigh.
Both of Michelangelo’s arms were useless at his sides, blackened and cracked up to his shoulders. He was a little grateful that he couldn’t feel any pain, though he wasn’t sure if it was just due to shock or if he had somehow burned through all the pain receptors in his upper limbs. He raised his head and spared a final glance at Donnie, noting the blood dripping down the crack between his protective shell and his carapace, before looking back down at Leo.
The slider had passed out again almost immediately after his joking quip and was looking paler by the second. His right leg was bleeding profusely and looking a little like someone had thrown it into a paper shredder. Mikey was sure there was more internal damage than they couldn’t see until they got him back to the lair and into the med bay. He couldn’t do anything but watch nauseously as Donnie untied his purple bandana from his face and used it to tourniquet Leo’s upper leg tightly to slow the bleeding as best as he could. Donnie was yelling something through the transmitter to the rest of the group, but Mikey couldn’t really focus all that well to keep track of the conversation.
He was too preoccupied with staring at Raphael’s arms, still holding their unconscious brother carefully against his chest. He hadn’t had a chance to really look at his eldest brother the entire time since he had managed to free himself from the infection. The strong green arms that Mikey always associated with their eldest brother were completely red and covered in drying blood. Chunks of skin and scales were missing, and as Mikey slowly raised his gaze up towards Raph’s face, passing a gaping wound in his shoulder, he felt the reality of everything quickly sink in.
Raph’s worried expression in his remaining eye was the last thing Mikey remembered before his vision rapidly blurred and he blacked out, his head smacking forward into his eldest brother’s shoulder.