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"Hey Jay? Are you sure everythings alright? Just.. checking in before bed and everything." Gil seemed anxious, rubbing his arms, almost jittery with his presence.
Jay considered lying for a second. Brushing him off, to take a moment of solitude, before stopping herself. She sighed, leaning her head into her hands resting on the ship's railing.
"Just.. confused Gil. Just confused about stuff." She mumbled out, the sound partially muffled by her hands.
He cocked his head to the side, his anxious energy rising as she got more upset. He walked over and sat himself next to her at the railing.
He pressed closer to her, struggling to find something to say, letting her continue the conversation at her own pace. She rubbed her face before continuing to stare out at the sunset before them. The sea seemed to have caught her in a trance, not one she seemed enticed to break.
She hummed, a small quiet sound, unlike Jay normally. She turned and looked at him, as if searching his face for the answer of what to say, before turning back to the lull of the waves. It seems she didn’t find the answer yet.
They stayed like that for a while, pressed together, sharing company in silence. He was sure she wouldn’t say anything else to him so he did what he could. He knocked their shoulders together lovingly, similar to a cat headbutting its owner, and stared at the ocean with her.
“Well.. What is bothering you Jay? What are you finding confusing?” He ached a bone deep ache to know what was hurting her. Stunning her to silence and if he had not pushed it, solitude. He didn’t like it when Jay got like this. It worried him, the fact that he didn’t know how to help his co captain, when she was so obviously doing badly.
She leaned onto her elbows, resting her body on the railing, before looking over to face him again.
“What does it mean to be a pirate to you Gil?”
His eyes widened. Ah! So straight to the serious point. Got it.
He only had to think for a moment about how to respond.
“Well, to me, Jay, being a pirate is about being myself! I get to be Gillion Tidestrider, the co captain of the Albatross, to you two. No Elders to decide what I do here, it is my destiny and it is with you two.” He grins back at her.
She smiles back a small tired smile. “Yeah.. That's a good answer, Gillion. Good answer. I uh… I know why I chose to be a pirate but I just.. What's it all for Gil-?” She cut herself off starting to get a bit choked up. Gillion made a sympathetic sound from the back of his throat as she got herself more worked up.
“My sisters gone Gil.” She said it so matter factly but as she stated it as a fact her voice wavered. It wavered her very being to state it as a fact. To voice the horror of it out loud. “My sister died in the Navy and I just… Gillion when we kill people like what we did today. What if I’m doing to them what the person who took my sister did to me?” As she reached the end of the sentence the tears were overflowing down her face, her voice growing angrier and more upset as she went along.
She laughed a bitter angry laugh, as she tried to no avail to rub the tears away. “I can’t even talk about it, and I could be doing this to someone else out there. I could ruin someone, Gillion.”
His eyes as she looked back at him, were wide and full of sympathy. The dark part of her mind said it was pity. He sighs and puts a hand gently onto her shoulder.
“It is easy to be frightened when faced by loss. And you of all people should be allowed to grieve. It is not shameful to do so.”
He puts both hands onto her shoulders now, really trying to hammer the idea in, to show her that it really was alright.
“I… I miss my sister as well, Jay. I miss her everyday and that itself is hard for me to admit. So I cannot imagine how difficult your grief is. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I get it. Not exactly. Or fully, in the same way you do. I cannot know your pain for you. But I can help you hold it. I uhm. I can relate to missing your sister.”
He looks into her eyes and he smiles. And gods is it bright. He himself being close to tears as he holds her gently at arms reach. He can’t remember the last time he's cried. But tonight maybe he’d be okay with it. To be strong for her. Gillion Tidestrider, Co Captain of the Albatross is allowed this once to show his real depth of pain, to share his with another.
Jay rubs her face, scrubbing away the tears and looks at Gillion with pure adoration. "Thank you, Gil. Really."
"No need for thanks, Jay I am always going to be here for you."
She flings herself onto him, wrapping herself around him.
They fold around each other as if they were made as a pair. Made by destiny or gods or whatever force pushed them together to fit. There is a moment of silence in the world, where there's nothing but the two of them holding on for dear life even though nothing has happened. Holding each other as if it's the end of the world, just feeling each other's body heat, before slowly the sound creeps back in. A wave crashes against the side of the Albatross, Jay sniffles wiping her nose, a bird caws in the distance.
She holds him as close to her heart as physically possible. Holding him as if she could intertwine him with herself if she just held on tight enough. Tight enough to protect and tight enough to share how grateful she really is. He holds back just as tightly, as if sending up a prayer to anyone listening to keep her safe. To keep them together for as long as possible. A prayer but also a thanks. A thanks for not only his family such as Edyn, but for his co captains.
He holds her in his arms and they know eventually everything will be alright. The navy girl and the champion of the undersea, created to hate yet so full of love. Love for one another. They had a destiny and they changed it to see fit with the love inside them instead. They rewrote destiny with each other's hands. And their destiny together is so bright.