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“You have no idea what I’m feeling now.”
Jacks’s gaze never strayed from her lips except for one excruciating second when he looked into her eyes. She’d hurt him, his face said it all, and yet his eyes told her the truth.
“Then why don’t you tell me,” she said, stepping away from the clock that housed the mirth stone. Perhaps this was what they both needed. Something to numb the pain of getting swept away by things that were out of their control. She was tired of being a pawn for everyone to use. Tired of being hunted, alone, and unloved. She suspected Jacks was tired too. He didn’t even seem to be fighting the mirth stone at all.
“You say that like it's a simple thing,” he said softly. Jacks took a tentative step toward her, positioning his mouth next to the shell of her ear. “Do you really want to know what I think, Evangeline?”
“Yes, I do,” she said, trying to ignore her quickening pulse.
Jacks suddenly shifted, hooking an arm around her waist so they were flush against each other. Evangeline pressed her hands against his chest to create some space but Jacks’s grip only tightened.
“One: I don’t think you or anyone can ever understand me. Two: The moment you walked into my life you’ve done me more harm than good,” he said.
Evangeline felt her chest tighten at his words. She’d asked to know his mind and shouldn’t have been disappointed at the truth. Even in his arms, the sting of rejection was expected. She should’ve been relieved; if Jacks didn’t actually reciprocate her feelings it would be all the much easier to walk away unscathed. She’d intended to shield her heart from him at first. She really did. A futile attempt. He was the Prince of Hearts, after all, and her heart was nothing if not his.
Jacks pulled his head back from the side of her face to meet her eyes. She reminded herself that at the end of the day he was cruel. He didn’t love her. He was a villain. Last night was a fluke.
A cold hand underneath her chin pulled Evangeline from her thoughts. “And three: There is nothing I want more than to stay here with you.”
Evangeline’s eyes widened at his admission, heart fluttering in her chest. She wondered absently if he could feel it.
“Why are you surprised?” Jacks said. “I can’t stay away from you,” he said gesturing to their entwined limbs. His head quickly found its way to her neck and Evangeline felt heat flood her face. “Time spent with you is not enough. It’s never enough.” His nose grazed the skin of her neck and Evangeline stifled a gasp as she felt him exhale.
“Sometimes I think you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
The words hung in perfect silence between them. It was everything she wanted to hear. Who would have ever thought that the loneliness she nursed inside her heart would have been indulged by someone like him? Someone that had fallen from a fairy tale and straight into her arms.
But his eyes looked tortured as if he was fighting with himself.
“You strike me as someone who always gets what they want,” she said.
Suddenly, he stepped away from her. Evangeline barely had time to register the movement before he was across the room, leaning against the open window. The thin curtains waved slightly in the night breeze.
“Not this time. Not you,” he said, shaking his head.
Evangeline didn’t have a death wish, especially after being relentlessly hunted by her husband. Being a statue was almost like being dead. She couldn’t move or breathe. What was it all for anyway?
Love only brought pain. With Luc. With Apollo. And now with Jacks.
She was sick of it.
Marching up to Jacks, she splayed a hand against his waist, thumbing the material under her fingertips. Soft and thin. And covering his skin.
“Close your eyes,” she said.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The edge in his voice told her to walk away. She ignored it.
“Just do it,” she said. “Please?”
Slowly, Jacks’s eyes fluttered shut. He looked like the prince he was instead of the bleeding villain. His golden hair fell neatly atop his head as if inviting her to run a hand through his curls. His pale cheeks were stained with a rare blush that deepened as she drew him closer. But his mouth, usually frozen into a cruel sneer, was parted in anticipation, though she had the feeling he was unaware he was doing it.
“Well,” he said, impatiently. “Say what you’re going to say.”
Evangeline certainly did not have a death wish but she was going to kiss him. Before he could notice, she grabbed the curtains pressed the fabric to his lips, and covered the spot with her mouth. The thin material was uncomfortable and rough on her skin, but that didn’t matter. She could feel his lips under the fabric. And she was alive. A surge of hope coursed through her. She even felt Jack’s mouth start to move, almost an attempt to kiss her back, before she felt him push her away. Jacks gaped at her now that she was more than an arm's length away.
“Are you insane?” Jacks scolded. “You could have died!” He touched his mouth with his fingers like he could shield her from anything that could happen next.
Evangeline smiled.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Jacks,” she said, lifting the curtain. “I wanted to see if it was safe through cloth.”
“That wasn’t a kiss,” he said. “That was reckless and irresponsible.”
“But doesn’t it make you wish it was?” she said, exasperated.
“No because you’d still be alive,” he said without hesitation. “You have no- You don’t understand what you do to me. I can’t-” Jacks sighed deeply. She could tell he was contemplating whether to admit more or not. “I can’t lose you. Cannot.”
“You seem so sure I would die,” she said.
“If it’s any consolation, I’m glad it’s safe through cloth.” he said before leaving Evangeline alone with her thoughts and exiting the room. It was probably for the best.
She sank down to the floor, clutching the curtain in her hand. She pressed the cloth to her lips once more, trying to capture the feeling of her mouth against his.
Somehow, now it was worse knowing he wanted her as much as she wanted him and there was nothing either of them could do about it.