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Noel flapped his wings to keep himself momentarily steady enough to open his bedroom window, much like he had every other night he was on patrol- which seemed to be more often than not as of late- but that was something he'd never complain about. After all, it was his duty to protect the souls in limbo, no matter how challenging it got.
Their strength was his, and he was reminded of that with each new soul that arrived.
Especially, with the arrival of two idiots that were currently living in his house. A sigh escaped his lips as he fought against his worn window, hearing the wood creak at the strain of opening. He'd told himself he needed to fix that soon, but he never seemed to have the time.
His thoughts weren't on his nearly useless window for long though, as the sounds of frenzied pants echoed within his room, the source coming from the human laying in his bed. His brows furrowed as he looked on in concern.
They were having a nightmare, he knew this, expected this even. He'd been in limbo long enough to have seen his fair share of tainted souls, and it was rare for newly tainted souls to have a peaceful nights rest. Despite that, he still felt an overwhelming amount of empathy for the human shivering in his bed.
Noel dropped the supply bag he carried with him on patrols and slowly closed his window, attempting to avoid another screech from his window, not wanting to provide the human's asleep mind more outside influence to terrorize them with. He quickly realized his kindness was in vain though as soon as he latched his window shut and heard the human whimpering.
Looking over his shoulder, the human began to twist and turn, their face scrunched up in fear and agony. Noel himself almost reached out to rearrange them from laying on their injured shoulder, but he managed to refrain. Everyone was different, and he didn't know whether or not his touch would help or hurt this situation further. So with a deep inhale and shaky exhale, he marched over to a- less than comfy- chair in his room, turning it to face his bed and seating himself.
He hunched forward, elbows on his knees as he crossed his hands together, burying half of his face against them, wings tensed against his back and his sharp, emerald colored eyes never leaving the human. This wasn't the first time he'd seen someone being tormented by the infection that comes from a geist bite but seraphs above did he hope it would be the last.
Wishful thinking.
His mind began to wander, a betrayal and regret infused rage fueling his thoughts as they brought up multiple memories about the now exorcised geist, and his once trusted friend, Casey. Betrayal of someone he trusted, someone he thought wanted to help their community just as he did, and regrets of being so easily fooled, allowing someone to pull the veil over his eyes with their candied words and false promises.
This communities strength was his own but he could only see how weak he truly was if he couldn't even protect a single soul from the mistakes he caused.
Noel flinched violently, being flung from his thoughts as a piercing scream stole his attention. His eyes never left the human, but he had been off in his head and missed how their behaviour had worsened. He saw them now, sat up in bed, hands tugging harshly at their clothes, grasping desperately at their infected arm, and eyes squeezed shut as their body threatened to shake apart on them.
He couldn't even prevent this. Another regret to be added to the ever growing pile he supposed, but one he silently promised to fix by curing them of their tainted status and bringing them safely to Utopia's trials.
He sits quietly, watching in concern as the human pants harshly for several minutes, their breathing very slowly beginning to even out with each exhale. Eventually, their eyes open and they turn to look at him. He can see the fear and exhaustion swirling within them, but all he can find himself able to do is stare back silently, waiting for them to act first.
"Sorry," The human's voice is weak, their voice not reaching above a whisper. Noel quickly decides he hates the way the apology sounds on their lips.
"What are you apologizing for?"
It comes out a little harsher than he'd like, but he's sure he got his point across when the human silently looks away from his eyes, staring down at their own blanketed lap instead. Still, he feels the need to comfort them,
"Listen. I know this whole ordeal is stressful and hard on you, you don't need to apologize for going through hardship. And when I came back from my patrol and saw you were having a nightmare? There wasn't much I could do to help so I at least wanted to make sure you'd be alright."
He sits up straighter, folding his arms over his chest,
"And you at least seem to have calmed down now."
Noel also quickly decides that he likes the tender smile on their lips much better than their apology from a minute ago. They do seem much more at ease, but their body still shakes and their hand still has their shirt sleeve death gripped, pulling it away from their injured arm.
He perked up slightly at the memory of his supply bag between him and his window. He bent down, unzipping his bag and searching around inside, pulling out an icepack out of the medical part of the bag once he felt its frigid cold against his hands. Noel crossed the room, half kneeling on the bed as he pressed the pack against their shoulder, holding it until their hand reached to replace his own,
"Here, this should help a little."
He watched them cringe, but they held it in place without complaint. Noel felt a little off balance as the human looked up from the icepack and stared at him instead. With the shorter distance between them, he could see the fear and exhaustion much clearer in their eyes, but he could also see the unwavering bravery and kindness as well, and it nearly threatened to steal his breath away. Thankfully, the human spoke before it could,
"Thanks, Noel...for everything."
Never mind, he takes it back. He could feel his body fighting between the urge to soften and tense at the human's heartfelt gratitude.
He didn't deserve their gratitude.
"As long as you're in Limbo it's my duty to look after you. Even if I can't solve it right away, I do what I can. None of you deserve to be here and it's my job to see that you get your chance to reincarnate one day."
His own voice came out soft and quiet, whispering to them. It was a strange feeling but something told him that anything louder than a whisper would shatter...whatever this situation was.
"Well...thank you. I guess you were part of the reason I wanted to even stay here in the first place, but seeing how hard you work for everyone's sake...it makes me want to help you just as much."
Noel sighed heavily, a mumbling bordering between frustrated and flustered escaping him. There was that kindness swirling within their eyes again. He didn't want to see it, their kindness would be better kept for themselves, or their rabbit friend downstairs, or literally anyone else but him.
So he closed his eyes,
"Appreciated, but I don't need any help. It just makes it more difficult to accomplish my goal of getting you all to your respective afterlives if you just stay here helping me."
The human shot back without hesitation, "There's no one out there that doesn't need some kind of help, you know. It never hurts to rely on others from time to time."
And that shot hit its mark. He suppressed the sharp inhale, tightly closing his eyes against the emotions that threatened to take him.
He didn't need their help.
"You should get some more rest," He stands from the bed, not meeting the human's eyes as he turns his back to them, ready to leave them to themselves.
Before he can get too far, he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. He freezes, his first instinct to yank out of their grasp, but he stops himself from doing so and instead hesitantly turns to them, confused.
They stare up at him, a look of panic and desperation on their face,
"I...I don't want you to leave."
Fuck.
"I can stay if that'll help you rest?" He can hear how unsure of himself he sounds.
They're silent for a few moments, words seemingly stuck, "I..." words fail them once more, "Would you..." Noel almost takes pity on them and answers before they can ask.
"Do you mind just...staying here a little longer?" The human's voice gets quiet at the end of their sentence, nervousness creeping in, "I'd...I'd feel safer if you were around."
He debates his options. He could leave and sort the nearly nonexistent supplies he got on his patrol and then try to find a decent spot in his house to rest with his bed and couch being taken, or, he could stay and rest in his own room while also comforting the scared human occupying it.
Noel sighs, "You're kind of needy, you know that?"
The human chuckles softly, closing their eyes and releasing his wrist in favour of snuggling under his blankets, "Sorry."
He watches as they restlessly turn in his bed, "If you need an extra pillow I can steal the one from your rabbit friend."
"No, no it's not that. It's just," they pause, hiding their face against the blanket but speaking loud enough to be heard, "I'm scared to fall back asleep. That nightmare just now was so terrifying. It was unlike anything I ever had in my life."
He's not surprised, he knew that was most likely the case, but that didn't stop that feeling of empathy from returning, "That's the infection trying to spread itself further. The further your despair the less effort it will need to take over your body. You can't ever let that happen, no matter how heavy it weighs on your soul you always have to fight back."
Noel gently moved the blanket away from their face, staring into their eyes, "Even in the darkest of hours you have something to live for. Whether it's someone, something, an idea or concept. But, most importantly? For yourself."
The human sighs, shrugging sadly, "It's just hard, you know? I was already feeling depressed when I got here but now there's an entity inside me telling me it would just be better to give up, and, for a moment? I almost believed it. That's what terrifies me the most."
"I believed it."
The words that leave him shake him to his core. The thought of opening up to the human in his bed scares him, but the words leave him before he can shut himself up, "I may not be able to get infected by geist like yourself, but I've experienced that feeling of helplessness myself," they're not alone, "and the day that I gave up it only made my life all the worse," he knows how hard it is, "I stopped taking care of myself, was quick to violence, and neglected my responsibilities as a Powers angel," he wants to give them strength, "Utopia saw this and I was silently stripped away of status to what I am today," even if the things he has to share to give them strength, "a disgrace," is scaring the fuck out of him, "but The Choir was so merciful enough to allow me to redeem myself by playing the role of Limbo's guardian. And come the day the streets of Limbo are barren and my Dominion smiles upon my work is for how long I must stay," he'd do it a thousand times over, "your rabbit friend might find this cruel on their behalf, and even I thought like that for a while...but I've come to accept this penance," because it's his duty, "I've had to witness myself in others in the years I've spent here and I've had to pick them off the ground so they can fight another day," because their strength is his strength, "the geist inside the tainted ones never truly goes away. In a sense, everyone in Limbo arrives infected," and he knows they can be strong, "but being able to rise up every morning despite it all shows true strength. And that, as a former Powers, it's what I've come to admire the most."
He takes a calming breath, "The strength of the humans under my watch is my own. Yours included."
The human is silent, and he can feel his cheeks start to warm with slight embarrassment from spilling his heart like that, "Ugh, all this talking has worn me out."
If the human notices his way of avoiding that emotional talk, they don't mention it, and instead, comment on Noel taking place next to them in his bed.
"Wh-What? You-??"
Noel chooses to shut them up by gently laying his wings over them, "If I must be here then I might as well make myself comfortable, it's my room after all."
He feels them start to relax slowly, and can feel his own body begin to do the same, "And, there is nowhere safer than beneath a Power's wings, even someone fallen like me."
Noel is unsure how to feel about the human's continued silence on anything that could be considered vulnerability from him, but he decides to take silence as a mercy over being teased or pitied.
"Don't make this weird. Now get some sleep, will you? You won't get better if you don't rest."
"Y-yeah...Thanks, Noel."
He rolled his eyes affectionately as he felt the human shuffle further into his wings, a soft smile upturning their lips.
He didn't deserve the human's gratitude, after all, this was just his duty as the guardian of Limbo.