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hugs were nice. they were awkward, too, but first of all they felt... good. they made sunny feel warm and fuzzy and all touchy-feely inside like his entrails melted in a goop. it felt weird.
despite the fact that physical contact with another human made him uncomfortable and it felt like his skin was crawling, sunny was enjoying the hug. he buried his face deeper in kel's shoulder and tightened his grip on the other boy's shirt.
he felt like crying. it felt so nice it was almost overwhelming.
kel's hands on his back, all places where his body touched sunny's - they all burned like hot sunrays. they were warm. sunny felt feverish.
for a brief moment he thought that if kel lets go, his touches will still leave marks on sunny's body, like it was sunburnt. red and and hot, aching and sensetive - he was hyperaware of every inch of skin pressed against him.
kel hummed something and started swaying left and right like in a slow dance. sunny played along because he didnt want to move his head and say "stop". it was easier just to rock on his tiptoes while kel's hands prevented him from falling.
and it made kel happy. there was no reason for sunny to erase the smile he could hear in kel's voice.
burning from the touched places has spread further on his body, making him warm and unable to think, completely relaxed. yet the tenseness of such long physical contact made him more nervous. no one has hugged him since he killled- since mari died.
his father left, correctly guessing it was his son's fault, and his mother was too busy with work, grief and divorce papers, she couldn't possibly have time for him. she barely got breakfast for herself before she left the house. and mewo...
mari's cat ran away some years ago and no matter how much his mother said "we will find her, don't worry! she will return", there were no traces of a black cat with smart yellow eyes.
although sunny didn't think that hugging a cat would have the same effect as hugging someone. a person. a living breathing person that was warm, and moving, and apparently got well built during sunny's four years of self-isolation.
kel's arms felt so strong.
suddenly, the swaying stopped.
no, that wasn't correct. sunny got so lost in his thoughts and senses, that he didn't notice the swaying getting slower and slower until dissapearing at all.
kel exhaled sharply, and the warm air of his breath touched top of sunny's head. it sounded like he was trying to prepare himself for something. sunny wondered what could it be and how important it should've been if kel was so nervous.
slowly, carefully kel's hands found their way on sunny's hips. sunny could feel his face burning, but it was okay. it was even better than okay. it was amazing.
presumably, nothing extraordinary happened, but sunny felt like someone just went to the moon, took a piece of it and presented it to him upon returning home. it was just a touch, but sunny already felt like he could randomly combust into flames, judging by how hot his face felt.
kel's breath got shaky.
"is t-that... okay?" sunny didn't want to nod, because it would've made him take his head from the very comfortable place he found on kel's broad shoulders, so he mumbled something affirmative in response, not sure if kel was able to understand what he was saying.
as an experiment to try his courage, sunny also moved his hands from the tight grip on the back of kel's shirt to his waist, wondering how was it even possible for kel's iliac bones to make such good hand stands. like they were made specifically for sunny and his hands.
"'s better than okay" he whispered barely noticeable, knowing that kel will hear him. after his words he felt a shiver down kel's spine like the idea of sunny enjoying hugs with him turned his world upside down.
to be fair, sunny's own world turned into a rollecoaster as soon as kel and he hugged. up and down, left and right, swing and turn upside down. it was a bit overwhelming, honestly, but sunny didn't want the hug to end. it felt too nice.
the silence was both awkward and comforting. sunny didn't know it could be that way. warmth inside of his chest only grew stronger with passing time, making him blush and shake.
there were butterflies in his stomach.
kel was hugging him. kel had his hands on sunny's hips and sunny had his hands on kel's waist like they were slow dancing. they were so close.
sunny could hear his heartbeat. he wondered if kel could hear it too.
butterflies waved their little wings inside of his stomach and sunny felt like it was too much.
he loved kel.
he loved how gently kel was, he loved that kel didn't leave him, he loved that kel found courage to forgive sunny, he loved everything about kel. god, he loved kel so much.
sunny's eyes watered, but he tried to blink away the tears. it didn't help. sunny felt them roll down his cheek and wet kel's shirt. great.
as soon as kel felt a wet spot on his shoulder, he backed away, panicked. his eyes were filled with concern and guilt and his face was contorted with worry.
"i'm- i'm sorry! was it something i did? you didn't like the hug? did i overstep the-"
sunny cut kel off by grabbing the other boy's shirt and pressing his face against kel's chest. sure, he was going to give kel another wet spot on his clothes, but the warmth of kel's touch was so much more important.
"these are happy tears, you dummy," mumbled sunny into his friend's shirt, feeling burn on his cheeks and ears. he knew he was red as tomato and he was glad he hid his face before kel saw it. "i'm just..." sunny stopped, not sure what to say. was it really the moment to confess? it didn't felt right. maybe he was just overthinking. but he still wanted to tell kel he loved him in a more romantic way, than just crying into kel's shirt. alothough... before sunny got completely lost in his thoughts, he finished: "i'm just so happy it's you"
that little phrase held a lot of important meanings: "i'm so glad you're my friend", "i'm happy i'm hugging you", "i love loving you" and so many other things, somehow even more cheesy.
after a second or two sunny felt kel's body relax against his and start leaning on him more. kel's hands found their way on sunny's waist, sort of reversing the pose he and kel had earlier.
it felt so good.
sunny sobbed and let out a little giggle.
he was so in love it made him dizzy.
"can we stay like this for a little longer?" he whispered barely audible, feeling his blush grow stronger.
kel chuckled and pulled him closer than sunny though was possible.
weird feeling of touching another human never went away, but sunny got so good at ignoring it he didn't even notice it when he put his hands on kel's back.
"i'd love that" answered kel with a grin.
sunny couldn't see it, but he knew it was there: a wide asymmetrical grin that made his knees weak.
i love you, thought sunny and smiled.