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“Wha the hell did ya just sssssay ‘bout my husband!?” Kaoru slides his way towards the other side of the room, drink spilling from his swinging arm.
“Kaoru! No!” Kojiro starts after Kaoru but only succeeds in falling right out of his seat and onto the floor.
Kaoru reaches his destination, drops his drink, and jabs with his finger. “Think ya can just… sweep right in and insult ‘im like that!?”
“Kaoru! ‘S fine!” Kojiro calls out as he pounds on the floor, crawling. *Ya don’t-”
“Punk like you needs a head butt!” Kaoru thrusts his head back and-
“STOP!” Kojiro yanks Kaoru’s ankle, swooping him off the ground and landing him atop his muscular chest.
Kaoru puffs his reddened cheeks. “Stupid gorilla! Why you do that!?”
Kojiro cups Kaoru’s face, tears welling in his eyes. “Ya don’t hafta defend my honor!”
Kaoru’s lip trembles. “But… they insulted you.”
Kojiro presses their foreheads together. “I don’t want chu to get into a fight and get hurt because of me. Not anymoooooooore!”
Kaoru bursts into tears. “YOU STUPID SAPPY GORILLA!”
Kojiro bursts into tears as well, screaming, “YOU RECKLESS FOUR EYES!” before bringing Kaoru in for kissing.
Meanwhile, Tadashi returns from the restroom, taking his seat next to Ainosuke and glancing at the pink-and-green duo. “Should I ask?*
“Dear Kaoru apparently thought that mop had insulted Kojiro, Kojiro tried to stop him, and now they’re on the floor crying while making out.”
“Oh. Fun.”
“Indeed.”
A phone camera clicks.