Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The Shatterdome is buzzing with new recruits for the season, all bright-eyed and naive in a way only cadets can be.

They've only seen battles on television or from a distance. They know of the glory that comes with defeating kaiju. The accolades, the fame. They've been reeled in by the nationalist propaganda and recruitment campaigns and decided to blindly throw themselves into war without understanding what comes with it.

Ritsu wonders how many of their friends will die before they finally see reality.

"Ooh, look! Look!" Leo leans so far over the railing that Izumi snatches the back of his shirt to make sure he doesn't fall over. His voice carries, making a bunch of the newbies glance up, startled, as they pass underneath, but as always, Leo pays no mind to the fact that they intended to observe the candidates inconspicuously. He's never been the type to blend in. "I think that one's mine!"

The recruit he's pointing at—one of the only few with a blue band on his arm, indicating he's a potential engineer instead of pilot—looks wide-eyed and stunned at the idea of being singled out by the Tsukinaga Leo.

Ritsu can practically feel the hero worship in his gaze, even from this distance, and it almost makes him have to bite back a grin. It'll be endlessly amusing to witness the inevitable disappointment the kid is gonna face once he finds out that Leo, despite being an undeniable genius, is far from the picture perfect role model like the tabloids make him seem.

"Leoooo-kuuun, stop making a fuss," Izumi groans. "We're not even supposed to be here right now. See, Hasumi just gave us a dirty look! Ugh, he's totally gonna ream us out when he's finished with the tour."

"Yeah, but aren't you curious?" Leo exclaims, eyes sparkling in a way that makes him seem like a giggly teenager instead of a highly accomplished engineer. "Aren't you, aren't you? At least one of those little ants is probably gonna end up piloting my new baby! Isn't it exciting?! The first Mark Six, out in the wild!"

"Sure, in the hands of a freaking newbie," Izumi scoffs.

"Aw, don't be bitter, Sena! I can't give you allllll the good toys!"

"Stupid Leo-kun, that's not what I meant!" Izumi releases the collar of Leo's shirt and eases back, probably thinking that if Leo falls it's his own problem or deciding Leo's no longer a risk to himself. "Aren't you worried about some untried, overconfident nobody getting to run around in the most expensive jaeger you've designed to date? All it takes is one slip up and that's it. Millions of dollars, down the literal ocean drain."

Predictably, Leo only grins, not bothered at all. "What does it matter how experienced someone is as long as they're compatible? We all have to start somewhere! If we didn't let the cute little newbies have a turn, we'd never make any more rangers and then my babies would all be sittin' around collecting dust instead of gobbling up kaiju! What's the point?!"

Izumi sighs loudly. "You really don't have an ounce of common sense up in that head of yours, do you?"

"Eh, was that an insult? That's my Sena—always thinking for me when I don't! Wahahaha!"

"No, please think for yourself every once in a while, I'm begging you."

"If my babies save even one person, then it's worth it to me! Even if they have to go through a hundred jaegers!"

"I'm sure the governments funding the program don't agree with that sentiment, but sure. Very profitable mentality you got there." Izumi slides a look to Ritsu that says something along the lines of "please stab me in the gut right now, I don't know how much more of this I can take," but even after all the time they've known each other, Izumi still underestimates Ritsu's dedication to get involved with their arguments as little as possible.

"Ehhhhh, don't look at me," Ritsu hums. "You know what they say: you can't teach a dumb dog new tricks."

"Hey!" Leo gasps. "It's old! 'You can't teach an old dog new tricks!' I'm not dumb!"

"Life would surely be a lot quieter if you were," Ritsu agrees with a yawn.

Thankfully, Arashi appears before anything can escalate, her eyes filled with stars and excitement as she peers over the railing, just as Leo had. No one feels the need to grab her shirt so she doesn't fall. "Ooh, ooh, did I miss them? Did they leave yet?"

"Nope." Ritsu rests his weight even more heavily against the banister. It's surprisingly comfortable, for reinforced steel. Maybe he can nap here. "Still passing through. Mom and Dad are just fighting again."

Arashi laughs. "So another Monday, huh?" She opens her arms and Leo immediately throws himself into them, curling close as she strokes the top of his head. "There, there. Izumi-chan can be sooo mean, can't he? I understand. Aranee is here to protect you now. There's nothing to fear."

"Hey, why am I getting blamed for everything?! It's all Leo-kun's fault!"

"Do any of the ducklings stand out so far?" Arashi asks, ignoring Izumi completely as Leo snuggles deeper into her arms. "Oh my, they're so tiny! Were we ever that small? That seems impossible. They're babies!"

"Most of them are barely younger than you are, Naru-kun."

"They're trainees," Ritsu yawns, as if that explains everything. And really, it should. None of them will have an interesting bone in their body until Keito gets them in the simulator, and even then, it'll be a one in a million chance that two of them will end up compatible enough to pilot a Mark Six. Most won't even be cleared enough to see the inside of a jaeger, let alone actually fight in one. Instead, they'll be delegated to border defense duty like the rest of the horde, discarded and disappointed. "Ecchan's wasting his time."

"Actually, I heard Tenshouin specifically scouted a pair he thinks will work," Izumi supplies. "Something about a prodigy or whatever."

Arashi perks up, and even Ritsu straightens up a little. "Really?" Arashi asks.

Ritsu doesn't blame her for being intrigued. Candidates are almost never enlisted as pairs. Pre-existing friendships are far from an indication of potential drift compatibility, no matter how close they are.

In fact, more often than not, two people who started off as friends are more likely to end up estranged after even attempting to drift together. It's a grueling, invasive process, and it's not as forgiving as people seem to think it is.

Not everyone is built to withstand that kind of mental violation. Not many can handle juggling such a complicated neural link with someone else.

Izumi shoots Arashi an exasperated look. "Why are you surprised? I literally told you about this last month!"

"Eh? You did?"

Ritsu and Leo share a grin as Izumi groans. "Remember when I was gone for a few days because we found out a couple of college kids put together a simulator from some old vet's basement? Tenshouin brought me along to ream them out for it, but he ended up getting all starry-eyed over this one boy when he found out he and his friend had like, a near-perfect compatibility rate and a flawless simulation record. Apparently his dad's some famous old ranger, too—from way early in the war. Piloted one of the first Mark Zeroes and everything. Wicked stuff."

"No way!"

"That'll teach you to listen to me every once in a while," Izumi grumbles. Then his eyes catch on something moving below, and he says, "Ah, speak of the devil. There he is now—the one who looks like a fruit."

The thing is, Ritsu was dragged up here against his will. He's never had an interest in any of the new recruits Eichi has paraded through the Shatterdome before—what's the point, when he knows none of them will ever be compatible with him?—but resisting Leo's whims has always been more trouble than it's worth, so most of the time he just lets himself be pulled along like a toy pet on a string, so long as it doesn't interfere too much with his sleep schedule.

He had zero expectations for this batch of cadets. He was prepared to hang around for a few minutes, poke fun at Izumi's failed attempts to rein Leo in, and then sneak away to nap in one of the back rooms, the way he always does.

The last person he expects to see being led through the military base of impending death is Isara Mao.

God—it's been years. Years and still just the sight of him makes Ritsu feel like he's been submerged underwater, shackled and bound and unable to breathe.

Mao looks even smaller than he remembers—he's always been the shortest boy in his year, something that feels exaggerated here, seeing him again at this distance—but he's always shone the brightest, even in a crowded setting like this. All the other candidates simply pale in comparison to him and his pretty pink hair—"It's red, Ricchan! Red!"—bangs brushed back even without a clip, bright eyes scanning his surroundings with something like determination and awe.

Ritsu misses him so much it hurts.

In the background, he feels the others talking. He hears Arashi say, "Ooh, is it the cute little redhead? My, my, his eyes are so green I can see them from up here!"

Izumi snorts. "No, you horndog, not that one. The orange one."

And then, because clearly the world hasn't shit on Ritsu enough, he watches as Akehoshi fucking Subaru throws his arms around Mao from behind, clingy as ever, saying something excitable that makes Mao's face light up as he laughs.

"Aw, the raspberry's taken," Arashi sighs, oblivious to the painful ringing in Ritsu's ears, deep, all-encompassing, threatening to overwhelm him. "How sad. Who'd you say they were again?"

"That's my Maa-kun," Ritsu answers before Izumi can. "And I'm going to kill his boyfriend."

Ritsu doesn't realize he's moving until he hears several startled calls of his name from behind him, but he doesn't stop, his long legs carrying him surprisingly fast considering he's never moved this briskly in his life.

He manages to get the elevator door closed before the others can reach him, but the brief, stalled moment it takes to be lowered to the main floor only makes his chest feel even more tightened, more volatile, his emotions bubbling up so quickly he doesn't have time to contain them. He feels like he's about to burst.

What is Subaru doing? What is he doing? Of all people, why the hell would he drag Mao here?

Mao is a bleeding heart. An angel with broken wings. He always tears off pieces of himself to give to others, without caring of how it'll affect him, without thinking of how little he'll have left.

He doesn't know how to say no to people. Doesn't know how to pace himself or abide his limitations. All Mao cares about is helping, no matter how much it costs him to do it.

People like him have no business enlisting in the jaeger program. He's gonna get himself killed.

There's a small ding of the elevator arriving, and then Ritsu is moving the instant the doors part, headed straight to the left corridor where he knows Keito's tour is slated for. He can hear the quiet, hushed whispers of murmured excitement before he rounds the corner from the two-bit newbies who haven't been here long enough to be afraid of Keito yet, and he definitely feels the way they straighten up when they see him, eyes wide with recognition and surprise.

For better or worse, Ritsu is someone the tabloids love to talk about. It must be a shock to see him here when everyone knows the reason he's no longer an active ranger.

"Sakuma," Keito greets shortly, unfailingly formal, no matter how many times Ritsu tells him not to use his family name. "I'll get around to reprimanding you and the rest of the Knights when I'm finished here, but—"

"I need to speak with one of your recruits," Ritsu interrupts, not even bothering with his typical lazy drawl. This is bigger than maintaining his apathetic reputation. Bigger than anything.

Keito's eyes widen slightly then narrow behind his frames. "Did something happen? If there's an issue important enough that you'd speak out of turn, you should've brought it to me privately first and—"

When Ritsu sees Mao and Subaru come around the corner, near the back of the group, he ignores Keito and heads straight towards them, more focused than he's been in months. Mao and Subaru are talking quietly among themselves as Subaru hangs off of him, quiet and hushed, but Subaru notices him approaching first, making him straighten in recognition, and Mao follows soon after.

Later, Ritsu will think about the look on Mao's face when their gazes meet again for the first time. He'll think about the way Mao's eyes widen so sweetly, the stunned surprise that softens his features so he looks just like the lovely boy Ritsu left behind when he was just seventeen and so in love he couldn't take it, before a big, relieved smile spreads across Mao's face, just as beautiful as he remembers, and he takes a step forward, away from Subaru, away from the pack, away from everything but him.

"Ritsu—"

"You need to leave," Ritsu interrupts, voice cutting and sharp. Distantly, he realizes that everyone else has frozen to watch them, but he doesn't care, cannot make himself care, not when Mao is finally in front of him again, ready to sign his life away so selfishly. "Now."

Mao jerks back as if he were slapped, his small, scarred hand halting midair from where he'd been reaching out to him. A look of stunned hurt crosses his face, but Ritsu refuses to let it sway him, no matter how heavily it settles in his gut, thick and suffocating. "R-Ritsu? I—"

"What were you thinking?" he hisses. "You can't be here. You don't belong here. You need to go."

Ritsu grabs Mao's arm, ready to haul him out of here on his own if he has to, but another hand grabs his wrist, stopping him, and Ritsu looks up to meet Subaru's gaze with a sneer, wanting nothing more than to break it.

"Hey, hey," Subaru says in that cheerful voice that doesn't match his eyes, always so bright even when he's clearly angry. "It doesn't matter how much Sally missed you. If you talk to him like that, I'm gonna get mad, y'know?"

"Let. Go of me. Before I—"

"H-hey now," Mao says quickly, panicked. He's never liked it when people got upset around him. He's far too soft for this blatant display of aggression. "S-Subaru, it's fine, Ritsu's probably just surprised, don't pick a fight, okay? W-we'll talk this out, and—"

"Sakuma, what is the meaning of this?" Keito booms. "Interrupting the tour is one thing, but trying to manhandle a recruit—"

"Kuma-kun, are you insane?" Izumi bursts, finally arriving at the scene with Leo and Arashi in tow, all of them looking at Ritsu like they've never seen him before. "Let go of him! What are you doing?!"

The corridor bursts into a flurry of voices at once, with Subaru refusing to let go of Ritsu's arm, and Ritsu refusing to loosen his grip on Mao, and everyone else yelling questions at each other as if that has ever solved anything, and it only makes the tension build further and further in Ritsu's chest, intensifying the flame that cries not him, it can't be him, I won't let them take him like they took Anija, and Ritsu is ready to burst, to straight up whisk Mao away into his arms and hide him in a place no one else could ever find him—when there's a familiar, chilling laugh from behind, one that makes everyone freeze, even the cadets who have yet to understand just who they're dealing with.

"Well, well," Eichi says pleasantly, smiling like he's just walked in on a tea party instead of a wild argument in the middle of one of the main halls. "Isn't this fun? Looks like I'll have an interesting morning after all."

*

"What the hell was that?" Izumi hisses later, when they're finally away from the crowd.

Eichi and Keito led the recruits into one of the main simulation bays, Keito with a blatant look of disapproval and Eichi with a smile so serene it kind of made Ritsu want to sock him in the gut. With that same amused expression, like a cat discovering a new favorite toy, Eichi invited the rest of the Knights to sit in on orientation like they're honored guests instead of washed-up veterans who kicked up a fuss for seemingly no reason.

Ritsu almost wanted to say no just to spite him, but he's not ready to let Mao out of sight yet. Not until he can speak to him alone and get him to turn tail and leave.

"Ritsu-chan, I've never seen you like that before," Arashi says, sounding worried. The four of them are at the back of the room as Keito lectures the recruits, so it's not like they're being disruptive, but she still keeps her voice low with concern. "Do you know that boy? Is he a bad person? Is that why you're so upset he's here?"

Ritsu almost laughs at the absurdity of that statement. Mao, bad? He doesn't have a selfish bone in his body. That's the point.

"Oi, don't ignore us, you brat," Izumi snaps when Ritsu keeps his gaze forward, refusing to answer. "We're all gonna get in trouble because of what you did, you know? At least tell us why you reacted like that so we know what we're getting into."

"Ehhhh, I'm the same age as you," is all Ritsu says, the same way he always does whenever Izumi calls him a brat. Just because he knows it'll annoy him.

And it does. "Why, you little—"

"Sena, don't make me kick you out of here like an unruly schoolchild," Keito reprimands sharply, clearly having no patience left for their antics. "Either be quiet or get out."

Izumi gapes so wide Ritsu almost has to hold back a snicker. "I didn't—! Why am I always the one getting blamed for everything?!"

"Like I was saying," Keito continues to the group, ignoring him, "I'm sure you all know how this works from your entrance exams, but this simulation model is not a toy. It's a very real facsimile of the drifting technology that rangers use to pilot actual jaegers. Over the years since the kaiju first attacked our world, engineers have tried several methods to allow humans to command the manmade war machines that front our defenses, but only through establishing a psychic connection between two pilots—allowing them to share the severe mental burden required to control a jaeger, therefore limiting the strain—can jaegers be utilized effectively."

One of the recruits raises their hand, looking a little shaky, and Keito nods to allow them to speak. "What if we test with all the other cadets and find out we're not drift compatible with anyone? Can we try piloting on our own?"

"Absolutely not," replies Keito. "No one can pilot a jaeger on their own without suffering severe brain damage, or at least collapsing from the strain before they can take more than two steps. This is of the utmost importance. We have plenty of safeguards in place to ensure that copilots can operate without being a risk to each other or themselves, all before they even enter the cockpit, but this doesn't erase the fact that they must be considered drift compatible before they can be trained together. Which, yes, to answer your unasked question, does mean that anyone who fails to find a compatible copilot will be removed from the program."

"Now, now," Eichi laughs as the mood drops in the room and several of the cadets seem to tense at the reality of their situation. "No need to scare them, Keito. While drift compatibility is one of the rarest and most important aspects of our rangers, it is not the only condition of your enlistment, and it is definitely not something we determine heavily from the start. We are constantly getting new batches of potential pilots, and you all train extensively for months before possibly being selected to pilot an actual jaeger.

"If you don't find a compatible partner within the first few weeks, there's no need for unnecessary concern. It's pretty natural for it to take some trial and error. In the meantime, you'll train with simulators and practice brains to get a handle on what's expected of you, to build your fighting prowess, and to prepare yourself for exactly what kinds of situations you'll face in actual fights against the kaiju. It's a marathon, not a sprint. We take your training very seriously, and you wouldn't have been selected to be here today, from the thousands of applicants we get on a regular basis, if you didn't have potential."

At that, the room seems to let out a collective sigh of relief, and Ritsu would almost be impressed at how easily Eichi handles them if he hasn't seen it happen time and time again.

There's a reason Eichi is the commanding Marshal of the Tokyo Shatterdome. He knows exactly what to say to make people feel indebted to him.

The look on Keito's face makes it clear he doesn't approve of Eichi's lighthearted take on the matter, but he knows better than to try and undercut Eichi in front of a crowd, so he swallows his arguments and presses forward.

"Normally, we have a couple active rangers perform a demonstration, but Eichi specially chose two recruits today who have experience running an official simulator, so he wants them to lead the pack instead. Akehoshi and Isara?" The entire room straightens up at the two names as everyone's eyes snap to Mao, who flushes under the attention. "Are you two done causing trouble for the day or can you keep it together long enough to show your fellow recruits how this is done?"

Oh, Kei-chan, how mean.

Mao flinches at the reprimand, but strengthens his spine with a quick nod, possessing all the bravado of a cute little butterfly. "Y-yes, sir! We won't let you down!"

By contrast, Subaru seems completely relaxed, laughing like he doesn't have a care in the world, even though his tense hand hasn't left Mao's side since Ritsu was forced to release him. "So cool! It's been a while since we've run a sim together! Let's show off a little, yeah, Sally?"

Mao slides him an exasperated look. "Subaru, this isn't a game. We can't—"

"Our compatibility is perfect. We have nothing to worry about! That's why we were chosen, right?" Subaru directs this question to Eichi in a way that makes Ritsu frown, wondering what he's getting at.

The returning smile Eichi gives him, befit of an angel, only makes Ritsu even more uneasy. "Among other things, Subaru-kun. Among other things."

Given name. Eichi's already using his given name. Even Izumi and Arashi seem to tense at that, though of course Leo is paying little attention, scribbling away in his notebook the way he has been since they sat down, locked away in his own world.

What is Eichi doing? What is he planning? Normally, Ritsu can understand Eichi's motivations pretty easily, and even when he can't, he doesn't really care to interfere because the Shatterdome is Eichi's playground and it's honestly less of a hassle to let him do as he pleases, no matter who ends up hurt in the process.

But when it concerns Mao? When there's a possibility of Mao being affected by whatever secretive plan Eichi is exploiting?

"Wait," Ritsu says, standing before he can stop himself. "I'll do the demonstration. Let me drift with Maa-kun instead."

To his left, he can feel Izumi yanking on his arm, hissing at him to sit down, what are you doing, are you trying to get yourself dismissed?

But Ritsu doesn't take his eyes off Eichi from across the room. Eichi, who, instead of being surprised by Ritsu's outburst, looks almost gleeful, like this is the greatest gift he's gotten all year.

"Oh?" Eichi says, eyes sparkling. "And why would I let you do that?"

To match his energy, Ritsu keeps his demeanor lazy and nonchalant, though he knows he's not fooling anyone. Not after his forceful display earlier. "Ehhh, wouldn't it be more fun to watch at least one veteran instead of two newbies? They might have practice from an ancient training sim, but this is a totally different ball game. It'll be embarrassing if they mess up so spectacularly, y'know?"

"Perhaps," Eichi allows. "But as it stands, Ritsu-kun, these two likely have far more experience in a simulator these past few months than you do, don't you think?"

Ouch. He really went there. Ritsu's expression sharpens, but he's not one to back down. Not even when it comes to Eichi, who, in any other circumstance, he might consider a friend. "I'm not worried. Sim training is like riding a bike. Easy peasy—so long as your body can handle it, of course."

Eichi actually laughs at Ritsu's returning jab, not the least bit offended, even if Keito's expression definitely is. "How fun! Well, as much as I was hoping to watch Subaru-kun's attempt in an actual upgraded simulator, I can't say I'm not equally intrigued by the chance to see you try to drift with someone again. As long as Isara-kun doesn't mind?"

Mao startles at being addressed directly by Eichi, his attention snapping back to the front after gaping at Ritsu during his interjection. "U-um, yes! I m-mean, no! I don't mind at all, if that's what you're requesting!"

"What a cooperative boy you are," Eichi nearly croons, making Mao flush even more, patented praise kink in full effect. "Well then, Ritsu-kun, don't keep us waiting. Get up here and set up to show us how it's done, yes?"

Mao is stiff as a board as they hook him up to the simulator, expression pinched and hands visibly trembling as he fastens his pilot suit in place. Ritsu won't admit it, but he can't help but stare openly, eyes dipping lower than a potential partner's should.

It's not his fault. Even when they were younger, Mao has always preferred to wear baggier clothing, donning loose t-shirts that hung off his frame and big hoodies that dwarfed his palms so much he had to push up the sleeves whenever Ritsu whined for his hand.

Seeing the way the training suit clings to Mao's body now, after years apart, showing off his slim, toned thighs and tiny, tiny waist…

Ritsu's own hands twitch, and he has to flex them within his gloves to keep from reaching out to touch.

"Maa-kun, you ready?"

Mao's head whips over to him in an instant, despite the fact that he's been so clearly trying not to stare since Ritsu stepped in to volunteer. Ritsu can see each emotion flash across his face like a movie, adorably transparent: the longing of being able to reunite with his childhood friend after all these years; the hesitation of how to interact with each other when they still haven't had a chance to talk properly; the confusion as to why Ritsu would do this in the first place…

The uncertainty of drifting with someone that he believes hates him for something he doesn't know he's done.

There's too much baggage between them to clear up here, in this moment, getting ready to fight a training battle together for the first time in front of all their peers, but Ritsu is a soldier for a reason, and if there's one thing he can do, it's make sure his dismal drift compatibility will never affect Mao, no matter what.

Lifting a hand towards Eichi to signal that he needs a minute, Ritsu steps close to Mao, watching his eyes widen significantly at their newfound proximity, and pitches his voice low and teasing.

"Hey, Maa-kun, if you keep looking so scared, it's gonna make me sad, y'know? I may be mean, but I'd neeever hurt you…"

A faint blush crawls over Mao's cheekbones, and he quickly averts his eyes, clearly nervous at having Ritsu so close. "That's not—" His voice cracks, and he clears his throat, embarrassed, working the next few words around before he actually speaks them. "I just… I've never tried drifting with anyone but Subaru before," he admits finally. "I don't know if I can."

It's obviously not what Mao actually wants to say, but Ritsu's glad they're at least on the same page of not wanting to attempt to resolve their issues in public any more than they already have.

Still. They can't go into the drift with Mao being this terrified of him. Despite Ritsu's hasty interjection, he's never been able to drift with anyone but his brother before either, so it's probably already gonna be a battle and a half just to get them to sync up properly, even without all the history between them.

"Do you want me to switch back with Garfield?" It's like pulling teeth for Ritsu to offer, his spine tensing at the mere thought of having to watch Mao and Subaru drift together.

While Ritsu mainly stepped in because Eichi's blatant fixation on Subaru already raises some red flags and putting distance between them and Mao is of his utmost priority to keep Mao safe, Ritsu can't deny that jealousy plays just as big a part.

Knowing they're together is one thing. But seeing it, the physical manifestation of their bond, the way their minds meld so perfectly in the drift?

Ritsu would rather eat dirt.

Thankfully, Mao quickly shakes his head, eyes wide and trusting. "I've never had a problem with the idea of drifting with you. I mean, obviously it'd be easier with Subaru since we've had so much practice, but I just…"

"Just what?"

"I… don't want to let you down."

Ritsu almost smiles. "You're the one getting evaluated and you're worried about me?"

"D-don't say it like that's some weird thing! I'm being serious here!"

Oh, Ritsu knows. "You have nothing to be concerned about," he promises. It's not exactly true, but Ritsu will make it true. For Mao. "I know it's been a long time—" And I have no right to ask this of you after what I've done. "—but I need you to trust me for this to work. Can you do that, Maa-kun?"

Ritsu expects to be rejected. He expects to be scorned. He expects Mao to look with him with nothing but incredulity for demanding something this big from him, after years of pain and radio silence and hurting the boy he loves so much for reasons he has no excuse for.

He does not expect Mao to grab his hand with the sweetest, most earnest expression known to man, as he says, "Of course I trust you, Ricchan. Always."

Ah. His Maa-kun really is too dangerous for his own good. The way Ritsu's heart clenches at his words can't possibly be fine for his health.

"What about you?" Mao asks quietly, eyes soft and searching. "Are you okay? I know you probably haven't drifted with anyone since…" Since Rei.

It's no surprise Mao knows what happened. That battle made global headlines—the first Category Five kaiju attack in history. The destruction, the chaos, the casualties… He'd be more shocked if Mao hadn't heard of it.

And of course, since it's Mao, he was able to put together the pieces that the media wasn't privy to.

"Ah, Maa-kun is still too cute," Ritsu sighs, making sure to keep his smile lazy and light, as best as he can fake it. "Always so worried about silly old me. But aren't you forgetting that I'm the more experienced one here? You should let your precious senpai take care of you for once, you knooow?" He adds a teasing lilt to the end of his words, almost like a song, and he's rewarded with Mao's sweet laughter, ever indulgent.

"You're barely a year older than me, come on!"

"One year older and wiser and cooler and taller," Ritsu sings.

"Okay, now you're not even making sense," Mao complains. "I'm not even that short!"

"Cute as a button and yummy as a muffin—"

"Ritsu!"

"Pretty little Maa-kun, sitting in a tree—"

"Oh my god, shut up!" Mao shoves at Ritsu's shoulder with a laugh, and Ritsu surprises himself by laughing, too, an unfamiliar sound, one he hasn't made in a really long time. Mao's face seems to light up when he hears it, like a puppy with the word treat, and it makes Ritsu want to bite his cheek or kiss it. Maybe both. He honestly can't tell.

Ritsu averts his gaze to Mao's hands to distract himself so he doesn't. "Look, you're not shaking anymore. Maa-kun really likes to be teased, huh?"

Mao looks surprised at that, but then he smiles, a little shyly, cheeks so pink and perfect and sweet. "Nah, I think… I think I just really love your laugh." Ritsu's breath catches, and Mao lets out a small, embarrassed laugh, his hand going to the back of his neck, almost trembling again. "Ah, sorry, I just… I missed you, you know? I know you're not happy to see me again like I am with you, but I really did miss you, Ritsu."

Though Ritsu knows he didn't mean it like that, Mao's words feel like a spear through the chest.

Over six years apart and somehow hurting Mao still makes him feel like he's going to hell.

"As adorable as this display is," Eichi says, startling Mao enough that he actually jumps, "we do have a schedule to keep, so it'd be appreciated if we could start the demonstration soon."

Ritsu glares at Eichi for interrupting his cute Mao time, but grudgingly steps back to get hooked in. As much as he hates that Mao is here trying to die like the rest of them, at least they'll have time to talk afterwards.

Then, no matter how their sim goes, Ritsu can finally convince Mao to leave.

"Helmets on," Keito says from behind the control center.

Ritsu and Mao slide their headgear on in unison, facing forward. The harness feels sturdy at their backs, the pre-drift calm settling over their minds. Neither of them is new to the process.

"Scenario is Madrid, two years ago. Category Three kaiju attack. One kaiju—codename Medusa—is targeting the western seafront, and you're the only jaeger dispatched to take care of it. You will have no backup. Civilian casualties must be kept to a minimum to be considered a passing grade. Understand?"

"Got it," they both say at once.

Something like interest perks up behind Keito's eyes, and he twists a nob located near the top of the control board before adjusting the stage. "The simulator is now commencing. We'll pull you out if your connection gets too unstable, but otherwise you're on your own. Ready?"

"Set."

"Initiating neural handshake. In three… two—"

*

Eichi whisks Mao away the instant the simulator is done, a new light in his eyes that would normally make Ritsu wary, wondering what horrifically conniving thing Eichi must be planning if he's showing his excitement this clearly on his face.

Except Ritsu is just as stunned by what happened. He can only meet Mao's helpless, startled look across the room as Mao's dragged away, feet stuck to the ground as if nailed there, barely able to move, let alone think.

"Join me in my office later, Ritsu-kun," Eichi had told him before he left. "We have a lot to talk about, yes?"

Understatement of the century. Staring after where Mao has disappeared, Ritsu briefly, childishly considers pinching himself to make sure he's not dreaming—but of course, the rest of the Knights don't leave him alone for long. For a bunch of misfits who only banded together because of self-serving interests, they've really developed a habit of not being able to mind their own business.

"Rittsuuu, that was so cool!" Leo throws himself into Ritsu's side, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I had no idea you could do something like that! Where have you been hiding? Where's our Rittsu?!"

"Leo-kun, let him breathe," Izumi scolds, but his expression is just as stunned, hovering between blatant disbelief and jaw-dropping incredulity. "Seriously though, Kuma-kun, what the heck. How did you even know you could do that?"

That breaks Ritsu out of his shock enough that he can snort. "Do I look like someone who knew I could do that?"

"Either way, that was amazing!" Arashi gushes, clinging to her tablet. "I was following along during your sim, but even then, I could hardly believe it! You had a perfect score, the very first time you drifted together. Do you know how impossible that is? And your compatibility numbers…"

She angles her screen so he can take a look, but Ritsu doesn't need to see the diagnostics to know they're off the charts. Not when he was there.

"I've never seen anything like it," Arashi breathes. "How…?"

"I don't know." Ritsu swallows thickly, staring at his hand. It's not shaking, not like Mao's had been, before the drift, and yet…

It's been months since he felt like this. Since his mind has known the warmth of another person.

Connecting with Mao was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. It was like stepping onto a beach on the most perfect summer day, warm sand between his toes, a gentle breeze flowing through the air, not a single cloud in sight.

He didn't even know the drift could feel like that. That the neural link formed to pilot a jaeger could be anything but a means to an end. An important tool required to win an interdimensional war.

Drifting with Rei had been uniquely effective. Both Ritsu and Rei's minds were blanketed in secrets and darkness, but they were similar enough in composition that they were able to meld into something strong and powerful, despite the way they'd devour anyone else who tried.

Mao was the opposite. By nature of the drift, Ritsu should've eaten him alive. On paper, they're as incompatible as they come. Ritsu's mind is hungry and selfish, always greedy for more than people can give, shrewd, calculating, filled with shadows and resentment so thick he can barely stand to be in it himself. And Mao… Mao is light. Warm, gentle, kind. Like the sun, illuminating the way. Understanding and unrestrictive.

If it were anyone else, it would've felt like too much. Too bright. But with Mao…

It felt like home.

And the craziest part is that Ritsu didn't even realize he missed piloting until he'd been in there with Mao. Unlike the others, Ritsu hasn't come to the Shatterdome because he was running to something. He was running away from something. Enlisting had been an escape, not a destination, and the fact that he managed to make it as far as he did was only because of his bond with his brother, despite Ritsu's lack of drive in everything else.

These past few months, there's been this gaping hole in Ritsu's chest, and he always thought it had to do entirely with Rei. But maybe… Maybe his pull to the drift is stronger than he thought.

And now that he's recognized the symptoms as withdrawal, he knows it'll be infinitely harder to go cold turkey again.

"Okay, I can't be the only one wondering about your mysterious connection to the baby-faced recruit," Izumi blurts. "So what? You went to school together and now he's here? Or was it something else?"

Something more is implied, even if Izumi is too nice to outwardly say it. He may be tactless ninety-eight percent of the time, but even he seems to realize how delicate Ritsu's relationship with Mao is.

"You don't have to tell us if you're not ready," Arashi adds when Ritsu doesn't answer immediately, ignoring Izumi's protests.

"No, it's… It's fine." If the situation were reversed, he'd be curious, too. "Maa-kun and I… We were childhood friends. Best friends." Ritsu curls his fingers into his palm, not missing the look the others exchange at his words. "But as you can probably tell, that was a long time ago. We haven't spoken in years."

"What happened?" Arashi asks softly. "It's obvious you two missed each other; he made that clear before the drift. If you care about him that much, then why…?"

Ritsu grimaces, unable to meet any of their eyes. "When we got to high school, things were different. Anija enlisted in the program, our district was constantly under revision, and Maa-kun… Maa-kun got a boyfriend."

In his peripheral vision, he can see Izumi's head whip to the side, where he's sure Subaru must be, and Arashi lets out a loud gasp. "He cast you aside as soon as he started dating someone? Oh my—that wasn't cute of him at all!"

"No," Ritsu says, throat tightening. "No. Maa-kun didn't abandon me when he got a boyfriend. I abandoned him."

*

Ritsu finds them in the main atrium.

After dodging the rest of his friends' questions, he initially meant to head to Eichi's office to interrupt whatever barely concealed propaganda Eichi was likely filling Mao's head with before it was too late—but instead, something drew him towards the bustling, hectic area of the Shatterdome where the jaegers are constantly being fussed over by engineers, operators, and pilots alike.

The stares he gets along the way make him want to roll his eyes. You'd think people would be used to seeing him around by now—though of course, there is a chance they've already heard what happened with the simulator and are gaping with renewed interest.

Ugh. That would be even more annoying.

"This is it," he hears Eichi say ahead, making him freeze. "Polaris. It's going to be your jaeger."

Eichi and Mao are standing on one of the secondary platforms in front of the newest jaeger, an enormous, sleek monster of a machine, created to be the perfect balance between brawn and speed.

Considering it's brand new and hasn't been deployed against the kaiju yet, it makes sense that Mao is speechless. Everyone gets starstruck when they see jaegers up close for the first time, and this one is unlike anything they've ever built, with an exterior still untouched and unmarred by battle. It's like a shiny collectible in a glass cage, primed and perfect on display.

Ritsu doesn't know why, but instead of stepping forward, he shifts to hide behind one of the regulators, out of the way enough that they won't notice him, yet still close enough that he can have an unobstructed view in listening distance to their conversation.

He knows he should interrupt. Grab Mao and run before Eichi can have a chance to corrupt him. He knows that.

Instead, he hovers behind the wall and listens.

"Polaris," Mao echoes, sounding awed. "That's…"

"The brightest star, yes. An accurate namesake, I'd say, considering that, as a Mark Six, it's by far the most advanced jaeger to date."

Ritsu can feel Mao's confusion, even from this distance. "Wait, a Mark Six? I thought—"

"It's the first of its kind," Eichi confirms.

"I—I'm sorry, I don't understand. If this jaeger is such a big deal, why aren't one of the veteran teams piloting it? Why waste it on a newbie like me?"

"Because of its high functionality, rangers need at least a consistent ninety-eight percent drift compatibility to wield it effectively. We may have a few pairs that come close, but thanks to the wide range of personalities at this base, they're considered too volatile to risk it." Eichi sighs. "Ironically, Tsukinaga-kun designed it that way thinking it wouldn't be a problem, but he's the only ranger here who could flourish with that kind of restriction rather than be confined by it."

Mao seems to light up at the name. "Are you talking about Tsukinaga Leo? Oh, wow, he's a legend! It's still crazy to think of celebrities like him in the same place as I am." He exhales an awed little laugh before something seems to dawn on him, shoulders going tight. He glances up at the jaeger then turns back to Eichi, perturbed. "Wait, if Tsukinaga-senpai's a perfect match for Polaris, why isn't he the one piloting it? He's known for being able to drift with almost anyone, right? Wouldn't that be ideal?"

At that, Eichi's face pinches, smile becoming strained, and Ritsu is honestly impressed he doesn't drop it completely. He must be trying really hard to stay in sales mode. "Tsukinaga-kun has… other obligations at the moment. But that's not the point. The point is that you, Isara-kun, were always scouted to be one of Polaris's copilots. The only surprise is that you'll be partnered with Ritsu-kun instead."

"M-me?" Mao stammers dumbly. "But… aren't I only here for Subaru? I'm completely average, you know? There's nothing special about me at all. I'm far from an ideal candidate to pilot a brand new type of jaeger."

"It's true that you were initially meant to pilot it with Subaru-kun," Eichi allows. "But since you were able to sync so well with Ritsu-kun, his status as a decorated ranger takes precedence over your admittedly strong connection to a legacy like Subaru-kun. This way, we end up with one trainee and one veteran running Polaris rather than two trainees, and Ritsu-kun can finally be recommissioned to active duty. It's the best of all worlds."

"Subaru—"

"Subaru-kun will still be streamlined to ranger," Eichi promises, "just with another partner, using a different jaeger. He's incredibly gifted, and I have no doubt he'll find someone compatible, even if their numbers aren't as high as yours."

That makes Mao soften, and Ritsu can feel his stomach coil at how tender Mao looks whenever he thinks of his boyfriend. It's like Ritsu's abdomen has been filled with nails. "That's Subaru for you," Mao murmurs fondly. "He's like a puppy, can cozy up to anyone, so it definitely won't be an issue for him."

Eichi smiles. "He's really something, isn't he?"

"He is. But that's why I still think you're making a mistake. If we have to split up, shouldn't Subaru and his partner be the ones to pilot Polaris, not me? Individually, his skills are miles above mine. It's not even a competition."

"Perhaps," Eichi hums. "But jaegers aren't carried by one person. It takes at least two to make a team. Are you saying you don't think Ritsu-kun is as capable?"

"Wh—o-of course not, that's not what I'm saying at all!" Mao sounds stressed by the mere implication, like he can't even fathom what Eichi is trying to teasingly imply.

"Then why do you seem more okay with the idea of piloting Polaris with Subaru-kun over Ritsu-kun if the lackluster common denominator you talk about is you?"

"Th-that's—!" Mao trips over his own words, shoulders trembling from the sheer shock of Eichi's point-blank words. "You don't… I've been following Ritsu's progress for years. He—he's amazing. You know he is. What he's accomplished, the kaiju he's defeated, the lives he's saved… He's—" Mao breaks off with a shaky breath, and Ritsu swears his lungs may be missing for how hard it is to breathe himself. "He's perfect. And—I get it, why you'd want him back on the field. I get how, even if he has to partner with a subpar nobody like me, it's better than having him wasting his talent on the sidelines without a compatible copilot. But…"

"But what?"

Mao returns his gaze to Polaris, shoulders tightening. His scarred fingers have curled over the railing in a vice grip, like that anchor is the only thing keeping him steady, keeping him whole, and Ritsu can't… "You—provoked him earlier. Into drifting with me. Right? You realized that we knew each other, and you wanted him to step in and volunteer to enter the drift again of his own free will."

Eichi studies him carefully, his opinion of Mao openly shifting now that he realizes Mao isn't as blind a puppet as he seems. "Does it matter if I did?"

Mao exhales a small, almost broken laugh. "It does because he hates me. Ritsu might've been fine that one time, in the heat of the moment, in an effort to get back at you for putting him on the spot—but to actually agree to be my permanent copilot when he has more than three seconds to think about it? You'd have better luck throwing me to the remaining cadets and letting each of them take a bite."

"You seem awfully sure of how he feels about you."

"I'm never sure when it comes to Ritsu," admits Mao. "Except when it comes to this."

Ritsu doesn't realize how long he's been holding his breath until Eichi's eyes shift over Mao's shoulder to meet his, unfaltering and unsurprised. Ritsu inhales sharply and jerks back as if to hide, but it's too late. Eichi has already seen him.

And judging from the expression on his face, he's known Ritsu was there all along.

"What if you're wrong?" Eichi asks, still looking at Ritsu. "If Ritsu-kun agrees to be your partner, are you going to refuse by using the same excuse? Or will you go along with it just so you won't cause trouble?"

"I know what I came here for," Mao replies quietly. "If Ritsu's okay with me, then I'm his. I'm happy to be. But I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"You sound like you're talking from experience."

Even with Mao's back turned, Ritsu can feel his sad smile, heartbreaking as ever. "I'm fine with being Ritsu's last choice. I just don't want to hurt him even more."

*

The alarms go off at around four in the morning, blaring loudly through the base in a way that has the walls rattling.

Ritsu glares at the ceiling before sitting up and dragging himself out of bed, body as heavy and sluggish as always. It's not like he'd been able to sleep anyway, but the interruption is annoying on principle alone and Ritsu is going to make sure Eichi knows it.

The halls are a mess, as always. People running around in a panic, yelling things and moving things and trying to get things ready for launch… You'd think after a few decades of this, they'd find a way to respond to kaiju attacks that doesn't look like a bunch of bloodthirsty piranhas swarming to be fed, but alas. That day is certainly not today.

Back when Ritsu was an active ranger, he'd either be getting ready to load in or be waiting on the Bridge with the other high-ranking officials to watch the fight from the control center, where information and imaging was at its peak.

Now he just heads to one of the surveillance bays, like the rest of the common folk. It's a crowded jumble of engineers, various non-attack-essential personnel, and trainees, but Ritsu manages to spot Arashi and Izumi leaning against the wall at the back of the room, isolated as always, and heads straight to them, immediately slumping to their left.

"Who's dropping?"

"Sharkfin and Valk," Arashi answers, not bothering to look up from her tablet. She even has her glasses on, which is further proof that the kaiju are truly insensitive jerks for attacking at such an inconvenient time of night. Normally, Arashi wouldn't be caught dead in public without her contacts.

Ritsu takes a peek at the corner of her screen where two small squares show the live docking footage of Chiaki, Kanata, Shu, and Mika loading in, and he relaxes muscles he didn't know were tense. "Just a Cat Two? Nng, they'll be fine then. Maybe I can go back to sleep…"

"Yeah, good luck trying to crash through all this noise," Izumi snorts, arms crossed against his chest. "The base always gets extra loud after we get a new batch of recruits in. I don't know if it's because they're undisciplined little pigs or because the rangers like to show off."

"Speaking of newbies…"

Ritsu follows Arashi's amused gaze to Leo, who is laughing ecstatically as he vibrates around near the front of the room, completely attuned to his own little world. He's scribbling something on a few overlapping sheets of paper in a way where his writing bleeds onto the floors more than it actually ends up where it should, but it's a common sight. Nothing they aren't used to.

What isn't familiar is the recruit actually trying to stop him, calling something like, "Leader, please!" as he frantically attempts to replace his stationery, sounding partly pleading but mostly exasperated, the way people dealing with Leo tend to be.

At Ritsu's raised brow, Arashi adjusts her tablet and presses her lips together as if to hide a smile. "That's the new engineer from yesterday," she explains. "Tsukasa-chan. He's been following Leo-chan around like an aggravated puppy since they met, and it's really quite cute."

Izumi rolls his eyes. "The kid's a Suou. You'd think he'd have a little more pride than to bark at the feet of someone like Leo-kun for scraps."

"Suou? As in the conglomerate?"

"The very same. Apparently he's the next heir, and it caused quite the scandal when he decided to step back to enlist in the jaeger program instead of focusing all his attention on the family business."

"Huh. Like Ecchan then."

"We do have a surprising amount of powerful people working here at base," Arashi agrees thoughtfully.

"Speaking of Tenshouin—" Izumi breaks off with a yelp when Arashi elbows him in the side, none-too-gently. "Damn it, Naru-kun!"

"Leave Ritsu-chan alone," she scolds. "He'll tell us what he decides when he decides it, and not a moment sooner."

Ritsu grimaces. He's been feeling the stares and whispers since he walked into the room, but he was hoping it was because he doesn't usually watch fights like this. "The rumor mill's already running wild, huh."

"Uh, can you blame them? If you agree to pair up with the new kid, you'll be the first of the Knights to return to active duty since—well, you know." Izumi makes a vague gesture with his hand, expression pinching. "God, maybe that'll finally make everyone shut up about us, too…"

"Ehhh… If you want people to stop gossiping about the Knights, you don't have to wait for me. You and Nacchan can try and pair up again, you know?"

Both Arashi and Izumi wince in unison, most likely remembering the last disastrous time they tried to drift together. "Yeeaaah, I think it's best for our friendship if we don't attempt that again," Arashi says. "Like, ever."

"Amen."

"Besides, I'm totally happy working behind the scenes for now anyway," she adds, and Ritsu hums a noncommittal sound, knowing as well as anyone that she's just trying to sound positive. "Ooh, ooh! Maybe when you pair up with Mao-chan, I can be your operator?"

"When?" Ritsu echoes skeptically.

Izumi snorts. "C'mon, Kuma-kun, you can play the fence all you want, but we all know you're gonna cave."

"Oh, really now…" Ritsu doesn't like the tone Izumi's taking with him. And he definitely doesn't like the implication that he's predictable. If there's one thing Ritsu prides himself in avoiding, it's that.

But Izumi isn't backing down either. "Whatever happened between you two, you obviously care about the kid. And once Tenshouin sets his sights on someone, there's no letting them go, so it's either you agree to be Isara-kun's copilot where you can try to protect him as best as you can, or you let him partner with his boyfriend, who you clearly don't like. And I know you. We're the same brand of selfish. When there's someone that you—feel responsible for…" Izumi trails off, expression distant, and Ritsu doesn't have to turn his head to know what he's looking at. Who he's looking at. "You don't trust anyone else to look out for them. That's on you."

Over the speakers, they hear the countdown signaling that the two jaegers are ready for launch. Ritsu peers up at the mounted screens which display a series of live videos, ranging from footage of the jaegers being prepped for combat to the ripples in the ocean where the kaiju is bound to appear, and wonders when they started treating alien attacks like theatrical movies.

"Secchan's gotten so sentimental lately," Ritsu hums, and Arashi bursts out laughing.

Izumi's face is bright red. "S-shut up! No, I haven't!"

"He's like a marshmallow now…"

"A little burnt on the outside but still sickeningly sweet," Arashi agrees.

"Should we be concerned?"

"I don't know, I kinda like bubblegum Izumi-chan."

"Even if it means he's probably possessed by a kaiju?"

"Eh, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. We can learn to live with it."

"Ughhh, you two are sooo annoying!" Izumi complains. "This is what I get for being nice? See if I ever let it happen again!"

"Ah, he's back."

"Sad."

"I hate you both so much."

Thankfully, considering the moderate classification, the battle doesn't take very long. Sharkfin and Valk are piloted by world-class rangers, and though Shu and Mika don't typically like working with other teams, it's impossible not to mesh well with Chiaki on the field. He might be loud and overbearing in every other aspect of his life, but as a ranger, he's a compelling, almost heroic force, and you can't help but want to follow him.

Plus, Kanata is a genius when it comes to fighting in the sea. For the four of them, one Category Two kaiju is a piece of cake. There was never any issue.

It's the reparation process that's the most disruptive. Ever since the surprise Cat Five attack that decimated their ranks the previous year, it's been protocol for there to be at least two jaegers on field at the time of any attack, even when they're considered low-grade.

To the public eye, that may seem like a smart choice—the safest choice—but in reality, the cost difference of launching two jaegers at a time rather than just one is astronomical. The upkeep for the Shatterdome alone is in the millions, and the amount of prep, resources, and repairs required to drop each jaeger then quickly get them ready for their next epidenture, even with weeks between them, is a process that's just as time-consuming as it is expensive.

But, Ritsu supposes wryly, this way is probably considered more economical than the vicious lashing the jaeger program would get in the media if the battles don't turn out overwhelmingly in their favor.

Still. This trade-off is what turns the Shatterdome into a raucous circus after every fight, even at ungodly hours of the morning. With the loud clanging of metal being repaired, mechanics shouting heatedly at each other, analysts sticking their noses in everyone's business, and everyone else running around like their ass is on fire to make sure they're prepared for the next possible attack as soon as they can, it's no wonder the base is liveliest after an altercation.

Ritsu just wants to sleep.

Instead, he ends up in the mess hall with the others, half-passed out on the table as Arashi and Izumi debate the nutritional value of a mid-morning snack and Leo laughs off every question the new kid asks.

"But Morisawa-senpai and Shinkai-senpai were using first-rate aquatic techniques," Tsukasa is insisting. "If we know how effective they are, why doesn't the PPDC delegate more training resources into cultivating the same skills in potential recruits?"

Leo scribbles happily away at his tablet, having had all his pens confiscated and replaced in favor of an electronic medium forever ago. Ritsu's honestly most impressed that Tsukasa convinced Leo to stick with it. He usually hates writing on screens. "Hey, hey, isn't prospective analysis and devising unique strategies part of your mandatory training curriculum? Are you trying to get ahead by stealing ideas off little old me? How sneaky, Newbieeee! What a bad boy you are—wahahaha!"

"Th-that's not—!"

"So loud," Ritsu grumbles, burying his face deeper into his arms. "The sun's not even up yet, why are you yelling…"

"Tsukasa-chan, you don't need to finish all your homework before your classes have even started. I know they're tough, but I promise you'll be fine."

"This isn't about grades," Tsukasa protests. "It's about potential!"

"You really think you can come up with ideas no one's ever thought of before in your first week here?" Izumi raises a brow. "A little arrogant, aren't you?"

"I just wanted to know whether this Shatterdome is going to consider the possibility of investing in more ocean-based jaegers so I can factor that into my calculations for the next few years."

"Hmm, I wonder if all the new cadets are gonna be this eager," Arashi muses. "It's kinda cute."

"More like annoying."

"Be nice, Izumi-chan."

"I'm sure I'm not the only one curious about the potential trajectory of our future here at base," Tsukasa insists. "Oh, let me ask Isara-senpai!" Tsukasa half-stands up off the bench, waving wildly across the room. "Isara-senpai! Isara-senpai, over here!"

Ritsu sits up in flash, chest flaring.

Mao looks unfairly adorable in his loose tank top and oversized cardigan combo, his hair hanging messy and loose around his ears, eyes bright and surprised. Seeing Subaru attached to his side like a permanent leech is definitely another hammer to Ritsu's ribcage, but he considers it a win that, despite looking startled at being called out to so openly, Mao only hesitates for a moment before making his way over, his annoyingly cheerful boyfriend in tow.

"Hey, Suou. What's up?"

It shouldn't be surprising that Mao and Tsukasa are familiar with each other. They went through several weeks of orientation together, and Mao is the kind of person who can become friends with pretty much anyone, always surrounded by hordes of people clamoring for his attention in a way that used to make Ritsu grumble and pout.

But what Ritsu feels most jealous of right now is the way Mao seems so comfortable with Tsukasa when he's obviously on edge when it comes to Ritsu. He gives everyone a smile in greeting as he stands by the table's edge, but when he meets Ritsu's eyes, it gets a little hesitant, almost tense, like he's unsure how to act.

It hurts more than it should, and Ritsu is far too selfish to let it slide.

"Maaaaa-kun, stop hovering," Ritsu complains. "Be a good boy and sit down. I need a pillow, and I promise I won't bite… probably."

Mao lets out a small laugh, looking surprised and a little relieved that Ritsu isn't telling him to get lost like he expected. "Needy as ever, huh? Well, if you insist…" He slides onto the bench next to him, and Ritsu immediately scoots over so he can press into Mao's side, burying his face against his throat and curling close, like a heavy blanket draped over Mao's thin shoulders.

"Mm, Maa-kun is so warm…"

"R-Ritsu!" Ritsu nuzzles deeper against him, feeling tired and happy, and Mao adjusts his body instinctively so Ritsu can fit more perfectly against him, relaxing into his hold. "Jeez, you really haven't changed at all, have you…"

Arashi coos and whips out her cell phone to take a picture of them. Ritsu makes a mental note to ask for a copy later. "Ritsu-chan is just like a cat, isn't he? So clingy and sweet."

"Maa-kun's the cat," Ritsu mumbles. "C'mon, Maa-kun, show them, purr for me, purr…" He presses his lips against the pretty curve of Mao's neck and revels in the adorable squeak that escapes his throat.

"R-Ritsu! D-don't just kiss me like that, jeez!"

"Can't help it, Maa-kun is too cute…"

"Sally really is the cutest," Subaru agrees adoringly, plopping down on Mao's other side and smacking a loud kiss on Mao's cheek.

Strangely enough, Subaru doesn't even seem bothered that Ritsu is clinging to his boyfriend. He was probably used to it from when they were back in high school, but you'd think he'd be a little more possessive now that they're openly dating. This won't be nearly as fun if Ritsu can't make Subaru jealous over it.

Pouting, Ritsu tightens his grip around Mao and opens his mouth to say something when he feels the ridges of Mao's binder beneath his cardigan, and he has to suppress the frown that automatically rises to his face.

Mao better not have been wearing it to bed. He always had terrible binding habits when they were in school, leaving it on for longer than he was supposed to and often forgetting to take it off at the end of the day. If Mao quickly pulled it on when the alarm sounded, then that's fine, but Ritsu knows him, knows what he's like, and he has a feeling it's more likely that Mao's atrocious lack of self-care hasn't improved much since they were kids.

Ritsu bites his tongue, knowing he no longer has the right to say anything, but if he notices it again, he's definitely gonna kick Subaru's ass for letting Mao get away with treating his body like this. For someone who makes it his whole personality to tend to others, Mao has always been so awful at taking care of himself. If Subaru can't do this one thing for him, what the hell's he even good for? Radioactive eye candy?

"A-anyway," Mao stammers, visibly flustered by all the attention. "Suou, you called me over for a reason, right? Did you need something?"

"We were just discussing the battle and how Kasa-kun thinks he's an original genius with a brain unmatched by god," Izumi deadpans.

"S-Sena-senpai!"

"Were you guys watching it, too? I didn't see you in any of the observation bays."

Subaru bobs his head, absently monopolizing their unused napkins and starting to make a folding tower from them. "Mmhm! Eichi-senpai invited us up to watch it from the Bridge, which was super cool. Seeing a jaeger fight from operations is waaaay different from watching it on TV!"

Izumi whistles. "Damn, he's really rolling out all the stops for you, huh?"

"Did you have a question about the fight, Suou?" Mao frowns. "You're way more knowledgeable in drift analytics than we are. I can't imagine we'd have caught anything about it that you didn't."

"We were just having a small debate over the efficacy of training more cadets to fight in water-based jaegers like Sharkfin," Tsukasa explains. "What do you think, Isara-senpai? The Breach is underwater, so it'd only make sense to create more jaegers that can fight optimally underwater too, right?"

"Ah, it's a good idea," Mao laughs gently, "but I'm pretty sure it's already been tried before. Australia had that ocean program a few years back, right? When the PPDC was focused on trying to close the Breach."

"Operation Seafarer," Izumi confirms. "A total waste of resources, if you ask me. Didn't last more than a year."

"Which makes sense. Proficiency in aquatic battles may lead to a higher damage ceiling, but the skill required is much greater and more restrictive as well. It's a steep trade-off, and it's why Sharkfin can only operate at a hundred percent capacity offshore. Cost-wise, it makes sense why they'd invest more in land-based jaegers, considering how much easier they are to operate and how many more potential rangers can pilot them."

"Like Polaris," Tsukasa realizes. "I—I was just reading about that! The new Mark Six, right?"

Mao beams at him like a parent that just watched his child take his first steps. Ritsu's surprised he doesn't try to pat Tsukasa on the head. "Exactly! If they tried mass-producing Polaris, sure, they'd have a bunch of fast, highly adaptive jaegers, but the minuscule pool of rangers who can operate them make it a negative investment—I mean, not that they'd have the resources or money for that anyway, but still."

"Eichi-oniisama wants you and Ritsu-senpai to pilot it, doesn't he?"

Subaru accidentally tears the napkin he's playing with, and Mao sneaks a quick, nervous glance at Ritsu before squeezing Subaru's hand with a plastered smile. "Ah, that's a little up in the air right now, but we'll see."

"Hm." Resting his chin on his hand, Izumi gives Mao an appreciative look, like he didn't expect him to have more than one brain cell running around that head of his and is pleasantly surprised by this turn of events. "You know a lot about mechanical specifications for someone who's aiming to be a ranger. You sure you wouldn't rather be an engineer or something?"

Mao waves a hand with a laugh. "Oh, god no, I'm nowhere near smart enough for any of that. I just… pay a lot of attention to the program."

"Sally loves that kind of stuff!" Subaru grins, back to full brightness, as if he'd never even faced the possibility of being dimmed. "He'd always have one of the jaeger news channels playing on his little radio whenever I visited him at camp. All the others always said he was silly for it, but I thought it was adorable!"

"You think everything I do is adorable."

"That's because you are!" Subaru cries. "Just look at him! See, see? Isn't Sally the cutest?!"

"He is," Arashi coos indulgently, eager and bright. She's always been a sucker for gossip and cute boys, and here they are, handing her a full platter of both. She must be in heaven. "Did you two live in the same camp? Is that how you met?"

Subaru shakes his head. "Nah, I still have my mom. Sally's been there since forever though. We didn't meet until high school!"

Leo perks up, eyes tearing away from his tablet for the first time since they got there. "You were raised in a boarding house?"

Mao stills, hand clenching in his lap. Even here, like this, Ritsu can see every ridge, every scar, that has healed over on Mao's perfect little fingers, and it makes something clench in Ritsu's stomach as he watches Mao's smile freeze like a startled deer. "A-ah, yeah, um. It was—"

"Me too, me too!" Leo exclaims. "I was in 895! How about you?! Maybe we were in the same place. Maybe I'd recognize you! Actually, no, I wouldn't—but maybe!"

Pure relief washes over Mao's face, and he laughs, the sound vibrating through Ritsu's core. "708, in Hamamatsu. 895 would've been Nagoya, right? So we were close, but I guess not close enough."

"Practically neighbors! We might as well be related!"

Izumi snorts. "Leo-kun, that's definitely not how it works."

"Oh, my family sponsors a few of those kaiju-related orphanages, but I've never really known anyone who grew up in one of them!" Tsukasa looks almost excited by the prospect of gaining an insider's perspective. "How was it? Are they really as crowded as they're made out to be? Because I know there were a lot of deaths early in the war, but it's been way lower these past several years since the jaeger program has taken off, and I've always wondered how that affected the rate of children taken into these—"

He's cut off by the sound of Leo's laughter, loud and unfettered. "Wow, Newbie, you really lack tact, dontcha!"

Arashi bites back a smile. "Coming from Leo-chan, that's saying something."

"Rich kid problems," Ritsu mumbles in agreement.

Tsukasa blinks. "Eh? Did I say something wrong? Information about boarding houses are public record, aren't they? Leader, everyone knows you were recruited from one."

"Just because the media's obsessed with Leo-chan's background doesn't mean all information is fair game," Arashi says gently, in a way that Ritsu knows is just a pacifying lead-in before she changes the subject. "Oh, Mao-chan, that reminds me! Ritsu-chan is from Hamamatsu, too, right?" Arashi keeps her expression wide and innocent, like she hasn't already been privy to a semi-detailed account of their history. "Is that how you three know each other?"

Ritsu barely resists the urge to roll his eyes. Arashi may be an unparalleled media darling, capable of wooing any crowd, but when it comes to prying for personal information, she's about as subtle as a brick to the face. "Maa-kun and I were neighbors before he was moved to camp. Thankfully, it was close enough that we could still see each other at school, even if he was suuuch a bad boy and refused to come play at my house all the time like he used to…"

"You're lucky I could see you at all," Mao snorts. "Initially, they were planning on transferring me to Hyogo, but apparently Ritsu threw such a big fit when he found out that his parents pulled some strings to keep me in the same district, just to appease him." Mao throws a teasing look at Ritsu, and Ritsu sticks out his tongue, pouting.

"Shut up, I would've been lonely without my favorite slave…"

"Ah, yes, the good old days of being a glorified alarm clock," sighs Mao. "The glory of my youth… The golden age…"

"Oi. Don't make me bite you, Maa-kun. I'll like it."

"Wait, wait, back up a second," Izumi interrupts. "Hyogo? They had a relocation center there, right? I think I remember reading they only moved girls inland for whatever stupid, sexist reason they had at the time, so why were they trying to have you transferred instead of priming you to enlist like the others? Were they trying to keep you with a sister or something?"

At that, Mao winces, and Ritsu doesn't know what he wants to do more: reach out and squeeze Mao's hand or smack Izumi upside the head. Repeatedly. With gusto.

"Secchan is sooo nosy," Ritsu sighs, trying to draw the attention away with as much subtle force as possible. "And you wonder why we call you a busybody all the time…"

"Excuse you, I am not a busybody!"

"Secchan 'Mind Your Own Business' Challenge…"

"I was just asking a question!"

"Ritsu, it's okay." Mao looks a little embarrassed but mostly sweet, his face flustered yet warm, eyes softer than silk. "Really. But thank you. For worrying about me." Ritsu's heart skips a beat, and Mao ducks his head and turns to Izumi, curling a nervous hand behind his neck. "I, ah—don't have a sister anymore, but it was… Like you said, they didn't have many girls' homes where we lived since it was too close to the coast, and they didn't originally want to let me stay at a boys' camp, so…"

Izumi's frown deepens. "A girls' home? But why would they—ow!" Arashi's kick under the table is so loud that they all would've heard it even if Izumi hadn't reacted, and she doesn't even bother trying to keep her expression innocent this time. The look on her face is somewhere between oh my god please shut up and are you stupid what the hell are you doing?! "What is up with you today? These violent tendencies are so not cute!"

"Oh my god." Arashi buries her face in her hands with a moan.

Subaru laughs. "Seaweed-senpai's kinda dumb, huh?"

"Excuse me? Who do you think you are?!"

"I am so sorry for him," Arashi apologizes. "Izumi-chan means well, I swear, he's just a little slow on the uptake sometimes, and you're just so pretty, Mao-chan, you fit right in with all the models he knows, so he doesn't—"

"As if you aren't being just as nosy as I am! And what does that even have to do with—" It's almost comical how they can practically see the puzzle pieces click together in Izumi's mind and the horrified embarrassment that follows. His eyes flicker to Mao's collarbones briefly before snapping back up and holding in place like he's trying very, very hard not to look anywhere else. "O-oh."

"Ding, ding, and we have a winner," Ritsu mutters.

The only consolation is how utterly mortified Izumi looks by his own stupidity. His face is nearly as red as Mao's hair. "I—I didn't mean—"

"It's fine!" Mao squeaks, just as crimson. "R-really, don't worry about it! At all. Ever! Um—"

"Wow, you really are gorgeous, huh?" Leo leans in so close that he and Mao are almost nose to nose, making Mao yelp. "Wahaha, we should make out! Do you wanna? Or will your boyfriend punch me for it?"

"Leo-kun!"

By the time the sun is up, the Knights have managed to embarrass themselves so much that they must've set a world record, but Ritsu lets it slide because of the endeared way Mao laughs every time.

It's almost strange how easily they end up getting along. They're a chaotic bunch, rowdy and abrasive, and in any other circumstance, Ritsu can't imagine a world where they'd ever become friends—but here, in the Shatterdome at dawn, where a bunch of overenthusiastic, sleep-deprived maniacs share coffee and try to ignore the fact that the day's responsibilities are about to kick their asses, somehow they feel like family. It's the most relaxed the Knights have felt in months.

Izumi may complain until his lips are blue and Arashi will tease and make fun before she ever admits to feeling broken, but Ritsu knows they feel it, too.

"Your friends are nice," Mao says later, when Izumi and Tsukasa chase after Leo, who ran off with a sudden surge of inspiration, and Arashi and Subaru sneak into the kitchen to see if they can steal some food before the official morning rush.

That leaves Ritsu and Mao alone for the first time since Mao got here. It's all Ritsu's wanted since the moment he left, but he still finds himself swallowing around a lump in his throat, unable to find the right words for what he wants to say.

"…They're annoying."

"They're sweet," Mao laughs, and god, Ritsu doesn't think he'll ever get used to the way it makes his heart flutter whenever Mao smiles at him like that. "It makes me really happy that you found people who care about you so much. I was worried, y'know? You used to hiss at anyone who tried to approach us when we were kids, so I was super stressed that you'd adopt the same friendship techniques in adulthood." Mao keeps a teasing lilt to his voice, eyes sparkling and bright.

Ritsu grimaces at the reminder of his possessive jealousy, even then. Mao was always way too cute to notice it as anything but mild introversion. "Maa-kun worries too much. I'm not the same kid from back then, you know?"

"Hm, you're right… You do look a little taller."

"Brat," Ritsu says, like Izumi would, and just as fond. "I'm taller than you are."

"Ha, like that's hard."

Ritsu pouts. "Maa-kun was so much cuter when we were little. You're supposed to get flustered and upset at being called short! C'mon, cry for me, cry…"

"Not the same as when we were kids, huh…" Mao's voice is dry. "You sure about that?" He has this look on his face like why is my childhood friend such a sadist and can I get a refund, and Ritsu blinks innocently at him, curling their ankles together beneath the table.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Mmhm."

"Hey, at least I still look the same," Ritsu pouts. "What did you do to your hair? Where's my cute, style-blind Maa-kun?"

Back when they were younger, Mao used to keep his bangs pinned up with these cheap plastic clips that would've looked stupid on anyone else but only served to make Mao look even cuter. It was so ridiculous that Ritsu once considered trying to discreetly fix Mao's style by buying him more expensive, less tacky-looking accessories—because even if Mao hated when Ritsu spent money on him, he was too kind to ever turn down a gift, and Ritsu loved the idea of Mao wearing things Ritsu gave to him—but Mao was always so adorably excited about those silly little clips of his that Ritsu couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Ritsu remembers how much fun they had in those days, back when they were just two bright-eyed kids making their own adventures around the streets of Shizuoka. It became almost a habit of theirs for Mao to light up and drag Ritsu into any hundred-yen store on their way home from school, all so they could spend half an hour scavenging through the bargain buckets of cheap plastic to find a new clip for Mao to wear. Ritsu would grumble and complain but he never once tried to stop him, because even then, at barely ten years old, it was the only frivolity Mao allowed himself. Ritsu would've burned the whole world down just to see Mao beam like that, all the time.

Now, things are different. Now, Ritsu can't imagine Mao letting himself spend even just a couple minutes browsing the accessory aisle of the nearest konbini without feeling guilty about wasted time, let alone making it a fun routine.

He wonders if that's why Mao stopped pinning his hair back, or if it's something else. He wonders if Mao will ever feel comfortable enough to tell him.

As it is, Mao just laughs off his comment, brushing his bangs back from where they're pushed carelessly to the side, away from his face. "God, I looked ridiculous then. I can't believe you guys let me walk around like that for so long."

"Hey." Ritsu feels strangely indignant on little Mao's behalf. Sure, he had the fashion sense of a cartoon character and couldn't wear size-appropriate clothing to save his life, but he was lovely and bright and Ritsu could've spent his whole life looking at him, if the world let him. "Don't insult Mini Maa-kun. Only I'm allowed to do that."

"Are you—defending me to me?"

"Mine," Ritsu says, just as emphatic. "No one makes fun of my things. Even when they're super ugly. I won't allow it."

"I honestly can't tell if I'm supposed to be flattered or offended."

"Saaaallyyyy!" Subaru reappears from thin air, throwing his arms around Mao's neck from behind. Ritsu barely resists the urge to hiss at him. It'd be like proving Mao's point. "Look, look! We found ice cream!"

Mao angles his face to frown back at him, brows pulling cutely together. "Ice cream for breakfast? Are you kidding me? Subaru, we have our first class in an hour. If you get a sugar crash and pass out halfway through—"

"Technically, it's sorbet," Arashi supplies helpfully, leaning her hip against the edge of the table as she twirls a spoon through her fingers. "So it's made of fruit! Super healthy!"

Mao gives her a wry look. "You're gonna be a bad influence, aren't you. I can already tell." He exhales a long, exaggerated sigh, snorting when Subaru just nuzzles deeper into his neck, like a clingy little sloth whose sole enjoyment in life comes from being attached to someone else. "Fiiiiiine, you can have the ice cream. But you're brushing your teeth after, alright? Just because we didn't technically sleep doesn't mean you can skip out on oral hygiene."

"Yay!" Arashi and Subaru high five like two kids who successfully cajoled their guardian into letting them stay up past their bedtime.

"Oh, and go ask Shiratori if he wants some, too." Mao nods towards one of the tables at the very edge of the mess hall, where a small blond sits by himself, fiddling nervously with his phone.

Ritsu can almost feel the kid's anxiety from here. Definitely another newbie.

Subaru lights up. "It's Ai-chan! Naru-chi, let's bring him strawberry! He looks like he'd like strawberry!"

"Oi, I said to ask fir—aaaand they're gone." Mao sighs as they disappear from sight, the two of them chattering excitedly on their way back to the kitchen. "Seriously, you'd think moving to a military base would mean I'd stop feeling like an unpaid babysitter, but here we are."

Ritsu has to bite back a smile. "It's only day two and Maa-kun is already becoming a mom again."

"Don't you dare jinx it," Mao groans. "Maybe if I look the other way, I can pass the job off to someone else for once."

"It's so cute that you think you could. You're more of a busybody than Secchan is."

"Yeah, thanks for the support," Mao says wryly, then has to cover his mouth to hide the most adorable, kitten-like yawn. "Ugh, I need to wash up before class so I don't become a total hypocrite and pass out halfway through, too. Can you tell Subaru to come find me when he's done? I'd try to take a quick power nap if I had the time, but as it stands, I might just have to load up on another coffee and hope for the best."

Ritsu tries to keep his expression level and not tense as he heaves a dramatic sigh. "If I must. Maa-kun can't do anything without me, huh…"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm forever in your debt, whatever," Mao laughs.

"Do you know who's running your first day?"

"Ah, I think it was supposed to be Morisawa-senpai, but since he was just deployed against a kaiju, they'll probably send someone else."

"Hm. Knowing him, he might try to insist on it anyway. He loves training newbies."

"Oh, yeah?" Mao stretches his arms over his head, pulling at his shoulder. He gives Ritsu a grin, one so pretty that Ritsu wishes he could have it tattooed behind his eyelids so he could look at it all the time. "What about you? Do you ever run classes while you're here? You'd probably give everyone else a run for their money, huh."

Ritsu snorts. "I would scar the little chicklets for life."

"You're an incredible teacher, Ritsu, and an amazing ranger. We'd be lucky to learn from someone like you." With a warm smile, Mao swings his legs over the bench and stands, wincing at the stiffness of his shoulders, before turning to leave.

But then he pauses.

"Ritsu, I… I know you don't want me here. And… I get it. I wasn't made for this like you and Subaru were—I'm not a prodigy, I don't have any special talents, and my skills are average at best—but I can still fight. I want to fight. To do my part. I have to. You know I have to."

At that, Ritsu feels his shoulders tighten, and he glares at Mao's hip, willing this conversation to end.

"You don't have to be my partner," Mao says quietly. "I know how you feel about me. I wouldn't blame you for saying no. But if they need me, then I'm staying. If they think I can fight, then I'll fight. And if I can be the one to protect you for once…"

With every word out of his mouth, Ritsu feels like his lungs are being filled higher and higher with sand. "Maa-kun, this isn't like one of your manga. You have no idea what you're signing up for."

"Ah, you're probably right," Mao laughs, almost sheepishly, "but you know, I'm not really as scared as I should be. Is that strange?"

No. But it is one of the reasons Ritsu knows him staying here is a mistake.

Ritsu can feel Mao before he hears him, the bed dipping slightly to the side as small hands shake gently at his shoulder to wake him up.

"Ricchan, hey. It's time for school. Let's get you ready, okay?"

With a grumbled moan of dissent, Ritsu buries his face deeper into his pillow and tugs his blanket over his head as if that can act as some sort of shield for the coming day.

Of course, Mao can be mean when he wants to be, because he tugs it back down, leaning in close with a frown Ritsu can see even with his eyes closed. "Ricchan, come on. You can't miss any more class. Get up."

"But I don't wannaaaa," Ritsu whines, peeling his eyes open so he can give the full effect with his pout.

Mao is sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand brushing gently against Ritsu's cheek. Today's hair clip is bright yellow and sparkly, molded into some sort of haphazard star shape that looks like a five-year-old left a blob of glitter glue out on a table and called it a day. It's horrendous and tacky and Mao has never looked more adorable in his life.

Before Mao can try to coax him up, Ritsu winds his arms around Mao's neck and tugs him down, biting back a grin at Mao's startled yelp. Ritsu expertly rolls them over so Mao's pinned beneath him, Ritsu settled between his legs, bodies pressed together so Ritsu can comfortably bury his face in Mao's neck, inhaling deeply.

Sweet, so sweet. This is much, much better.

"R-R-Ricchan!"

"Shh," Ritsu breathes, kissing his throat and letting his hands slide down Mao's back so he can sneak his palms under his shirt, pressed against the warm skin there. "Maa-kun, it's fine, it's fiiiine, let's stay like this, okaaaay."

"W-we can't—" Mao cuts off with a soft gasp as Ritsu's hands sneak up a little higher, fingers brushing the band of Mao's binder. "R-Ricchan! We have school."

"Boo school," Ritsu grumbles. "I wish the kaiju would just destroy them already so we don't have to go anymore."

"Ritsu." Aw, Mao's voice is firm now. No fun. "You can't say that. People are dead because of them."

"I know that," Ritsu pouts. "I didn't mean it." Mostly, at least. "I just wanna stay here with you. Can't I? I'll go to school tomorrow."

"You say that every day," Mao sighs, but he doesn't move to get up, letting Ritsu cling to him. "Rei-chan said—"

A low growl rumbles through Ritsu's chest, and he digs his fingers deeper into Mao's skin, making Mao gasp a little, though neither of them pulls away. "Don't call him that."

"Ricchan, that's his name. What else am I supposed to call him?"

"I don't care."

"But you just said—"

"I'm your Ricchan," he insists, voice muffled by Mao's neck. "I'm special to you, he's not, so you can't call him that, okay? You can't."

Ritsu can hear the hitch in Mao's breath at his words, feel the way his body trembles and his fingers still at Ritsu's back. Then Mao exhales, slow and deep, and he buries his face in Ritsu's hair, holding him close. "A-alright, if it means that much to you. It's not like he's been around much lately, anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter."

Another thing that was Ritsu's doing, though Mao will never know. The three of them used to play together all the time until Ritsu realized he hated how many of Mao's smiles Rei stole when they should've been reserved solely for him.

From then on, Ritsu made it very clear that Rei was to keep his distance whenever Mao was around. He knows it made Mao a little sad at first, thinking he must've done something wrong, but it's fine. He got over it. And now Ritsu gets to keep Mao all to himself, just as it should be.

Ritsu presses another kiss to Mao's throat, loving the way he gasps a little at the touch, and nuzzles closer, slides his hands higher against his skin, wishing they could stay like this forever, warm and soft and together.

"R-Ricchan, c'mon, we have to—"

A short grumble of distaste, and Mao sighs again, relenting so easily.

"F-fine. Just a few more minutes, okay? Then we're getting you up for school."

What a good boy. Mao learned early on that Ritsu is easier to coax into what he wants as long as he's rewarded, and so he comes to pick Ritsu up a little earlier, just so they have extra time to cuddle before Ritsu is inevitably ripped from bed. Mao will never admit it, but Ritsu knows. And it's very, very adorable.

Ah, if only they really could stay like this all the time. It's everything, even if their bodies don't line up as seamlessly as they used to. Puberty's a bitch, and Ritsu shot up like a tree overnight while Mao, still barely twelve and very much a late bloomer, remained tiny and cute, even as Ritsu teased him.

The way Mao's cheeks flush and puff out whenever Ritsu calls him short is endlessly adorable, but Ritsu admittedly likes it better when they're closer to the same size so Mao can carry him around and spoil him more.

He can't wait until Mao joins him with a growth spurt so Ritsu can claim his back again. Though he guesses it's fine if Mao stays small like this, too, if only because it's easier for Ritsu to trap him in bed, making sure Mao's world is filled with him and only him.

Height is not the only thing puberty has changed in him.

The minutes pass by too quickly, and soon Mao's gentle hands brushing through Ritsu's hair move down to his back to shake him a little. "Ricchan, time's up. We have to get going."

Ritsu wants more than anything to moan and ignore him, but he knows school is actually important to Mao, so he forces his eyes to open as he rolls over onto his back. "Maa-kun's the worst," he grumbles at the ceiling. "Why can't you be a lazy slug like everyone else?"

"Because then you'd never get anything done," Mao laughs, but he squeezes Ritsu's hand before tugging him off the bed, letting him know he appreciates the effort. "Wash up first then I'll help you get dressed, okay?"

They've pretty much perfected this routine, even if Ritsu keeps dragging his feet through the whole thing. The entire time, Mao keeps the radio playing the news in the background, something Ritsu used to complain about until one day Mao came over with his earphones instead, and Ritsu realized he hated it even more when he didn't know what Mao was listening to while they were in the same room. He still feels a little bad about breaking them.

Now, Ritsu has gotten pretty good at tuning the voices out, for the most part. But he definitely notices when Mao's body stills as he's buttoning up Ritsu's shirt, green eyes going frozen and wide.

"—Category Three kaiju ripped through the seafront before another jaeger could be deployed to help," the woman on the radio is saying. "That's the second jaeger destroyed this year, after the attack on Vienna. Sources say casualties are likely in the hundreds, and the jaeger program is facing significant backlash as—"

Ritsu's had enough. He grabs Mao's hand and presses a kiss to the inside of his palm, reveling in the way Mao's breath catches and his eyes go wide, pupils dilating so beautifully, his fingers trembling in surprise.

"Don't listen to them," Ritsu says, pressing one, two, three more kisses against Mao's palm before holding it close, entwining their fingers together. Mao really does have the prettiest hands. "If you don't pay attention to me, I'll get really jealous, okay? So ignore everything else."

A warm flush crawls across Mao's cheekbones, and he averts his eyes, though he never pulls his hand away. "Jealous of the kaiju? Really, Ricchan?"

"Of course," Ritsu says, ignoring Mao's attempt at a joke. "You think about them way too much lately when I should be the only thing on your mind. I'm hurt, you know?"

Mao gives him a wry smile, but there's relief there, too, and he squeezes Ritsu's hand back in thanks. "I'm pretty sure everyone's been thinking about the kaiju more with the increase in attacks lately. It's not just me."

"Eh, we're fine," Ritsu dismisses. "Kaiju are only drawn to major cities with significant populations. They'd never come here."

"Oh? Look who's paying attention to the news after all." Mao grins. "And you call me a jaeger groupie for it!"

"As if I have a choice," grumbles Ritsu. "And Maa-kun is a groupie. Jaegers from Tokyo would be too slow to make a difference. If there's an attack here, I'll be the one to protect you, so you should only look at me with those starry eyes, not them."

"My knight in shining armor," Mao teases. "You can't even get out of bed on your own. How are you gonna protect me from a kaiju?"

"Sheer force of will. I won't let anyone hurt my Maa-kun."

"Sounds like a flawless plan you got there."

"It is," Ritsu insists. "You'll see! I'll be like a hero in one of those manga you like so much, and then you'll fall in love with me and I'll scoop you up in my arms and we'll kiss and get married and run off into the sunset so we can pop out a million babies—"

"R-Ricchan!"

"What, is that not how your manga end? How boring. We're gonna raise such a big, happy family."

"W-w-we're not even out of middle school yet! And anyway, we're way too young f-for children—"

"Oh, just the children part?"

"Ricchaaan!"

God, he's so cute. Ritsu can barely suppress his smile. "Fiiiiine, no baby making until we're older. You're lucky your future husband is sooo patient, y'know? If you weren't so adorable, I might trade you in for a more obedient wife."

"Y-you're ridiculous," Mao chokes, but he's laughing, and his cheeks are sweet, eyes so bright, as he stares back at Ritsu with grateful adoration.

In that moment, it doesn't matter if Mao doesn't realize Ritsu's serious about wanting a life with him. He's not scared anymore, and that's what's important.

The rest of the morning goes off without a hitch. Mao turns off the radio, they both make it to school on time, and Ritsu manages to stay awake through a good chunk of his classes with the memory of Mao's blushing smile keeping his chest warm and sated.

Everything is good. Great, even. Just as it should be.

Two weeks later, the kaiju descend on Hamamatsu, and for a full forty-eight hours, Ritsu thinks Mao is dead.