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Chopper
“When was the last time you went to the doctor, Zoro?” Chopper asked, hopping into his new chair and spinning around happily.
Zoro frowned, “Doctor? Been to the hospital a bunch. I didn’t pay much attention to the doctor. Was usually unconscious or bleeding.”
“No no,” Chopper said, “When was the last time you went to a doctor for a check-up? A regular exam?”
When Zoro stared at him, Chopper sighed, “I guess I’ll do a full examination today. With all the training you do, we’ll have to make sure you’re staying healthy and not wearing your body out. At least Sanji is keeping you on a balanced diet.”
Zoro grumbled to himself about Sanji, and Chopper used the distraction to conduct his exam. He nodded happily. The swordsman was in fine physical condition. Blood pressure, reflexes, lung condition all in tip-top shape. His battle wounds were healing, no danger of infection from the scar bisecting his chest or the ones around his ankles.
“Last thing,” Chopper said, jumping down from his chair, “A vision test.” He pulled Zoro to an X he had made on the ground and pointed at the chart on his wall. “Now, tell me the smallest letters you can read.”
“E,” Zoro grunted.
“Mmhmm,” Chopper said, “That’s the biggest letter. What’s next?”
Zoro hesitated and said, “F, P.”
“You can just go down all the way,” Chopper said, “Don’t guess for the lowest rows though.”
“T, O, Z,” Zoro said haltingly, then fell silent.
Chopper looked up, “You can keep going.”
“That’s all I can read,” Zoro shrugged, “It’s too fuzzy.”
“Oh,” Chopper said, shocked, “Well, um, Zoro. You have… really bad eyesight.”
“I do?” Zoro asked, blinking at him. Chopper took out a whiteboard and wrote, “Sword” on it and held it up. “What does this say, Zoro?” he asked.
“Dunno,” Zoro replied, squinting as he craned his head forward, “Sanji?”
“We’re going to have to get you glasses,” Chopper sighed, “Maybe this is why you have trouble with directions, Zoro? You have trouble reading the signs in towns? And maps? So you get lost?”
“Yeah, that must be why,” Zoro said confidently.
(Chopper later discovered that Zoro’s vision was not the reason he got lost.)
---
“Try these on,” Chopper said, handing a pair of glasses to Zoro.
“Looks flimsy,” Zoro replied, shaking them and glaring suspiciously at the thin metal frames.
“I asked them to make them really light so they wouldn’t bother you in battle, but they are very sturdy,” Chopper said. Zoro put them on and winced when he opened his eyes.
“It’ll take some time to get used to. Your eyes will need to adjust to seeing clearly,” Chopper said, “How does it feel?”
Zoro lifted a shaky hand and patted Chopper on the head, “Your fur looks… sharp.”
Giggling, Chopper took out his white board and wrote “Sword” on the board. He held it up to Zoro. “What does this say?”
“Sword,” Zoro said. Chopper wrote “Sanji” on the board and turned it around.
“Sanji,” Zoro muttered.
“Wonderful,” Chopper said, clapping his hooves together, “Keep those on for a bit and let me know if you need them adjusted.” He handed Zoro the case, which Zoro slipped into his haramaki.
“Thanks, doc,” Zoro grinned, “Maybe it’s time to challenge Mihawk again now that I can see better.”
“Maybe,” Chopper said enthusiastically, waving when Zoro lurched out of his office, still squinting through his new frames. He heard a peal of laughter outside from Usopp, which stopped very quickly. “Contacts instead?” Chopper mused, trying to imagine Zoro having the patience to change his contacts every morning and evening or dealing with a slipped contact during battle.
“Just glasses,” he decided, adding a few notes to his record for the swordsman. He looked down at his list of other notes for the crew. “Stop smoking, Sanji,” “Luffy needs more fiber,” “Nami’s blood pressure high, but maybe tested too soon after she yelled at Luffy,” “Usopp more aerobic exercise, occasional heart arrhythmia, maybe just fear of needles but monitor.” He began reorganizing his medical supplies and planning his next check-ups, determined to do his best to take care of his new crew.
---
Sanji
“There’s our favorite three sword four eyed swordsman,” Sanji drawled when Zoro walked into the kitchen. Zoro had on his glasses, the usual furrow between his brows gone. Sanji had laughed uproariously when Chopper first explained why Zoro was always glaring. The swordsman still glared a lot, but now only when provoked.
“Shut it, one eyed shit cook,” Zoro glared.
“I always assumed you just didn’t know how to read,” Nami said, “Not that you couldn’t physically see letters.”
“I’m leaving,” Zoro glared, turning around to exit. Sanji leapt forward, grabbing onto his wrist and dragging him back, laughing as he did so. “We’re just kidding, mosshead. You look distinguished, like a librarian. An eighty-year-old librarian. Who can’t read.”
Zoro sat on the bench, face sullen. He looked down, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. Chopper had tried to adjust them tighter, but the mosshead had complained that they were too tight around his temple. Zoro pushed them back with a finger.
Cute.
Sanji frowned, wondering where that thought had come from. He shook his head and returned to plating the crew’s lunch. He placed a bowl of stew in front of Zoro and watched him lean down and sniff tentatively at it. His glasses fogged up from the steam, and Zoro sat back, surprised, before taking them off and wiping them on his shirt.
Cute.
“Stop it,” Sanji muttered at himself as he gave the rest of the crew their bowls, specifically tailored to their taste profiles.
Zoro tried to eat a few times, until finally, unable to prevent the lenses from fogging up, he placed them on the top of his head. The glasses sat slightly askew, nestled in green hair, looking precariously like they would fall off any second as Zoro ate quickly. The swordsman reached for a loaf of bread, looking up and catching Sanji’s eye.
“What are you staring at?” he muttered, just as his glasses slipped off his head. Sanji reached forward instinctively to grab for them, but Zoro was already bobbling them in the air, managing to hold on before they fell. He folded them and tucked them into his collar, turning his shirt into more of a V-neck.
Cute.
“Sanji, your hand,” Nami said. Sanji realized his hand was still outstretched and pulled it back, resuming eating and lecturing Luffy about eating more slowly to distract himself from the additional peek of tanned skin he got thanks to Zoro’s glasses.
---
“I need to get Zoro a few more pairs of glasses,” Chopper moaned. He was sprawled out on the table, waiting for Sanji to finish making an ice cream sundae for him.
“New styles?” Sanji asked, pausing for a moment to imagine Zoro in some thicker-framed glasses.
“No, just more of the same ones. He’s lost a few already,” Chopper sighed, “He takes them off when he’s training or sleeping and then he can never find them again.”
“Zoro could get lost while sitting on the toilet, how is he supposed to keep track of his glasses?” Sanji sighed.
“Once…” Chopper said, voice dropping in mortification, “He asked me where his glasses were… And they were on his head.” Chopper’s eyes filled with tears of sympathy, as Sanji cackled until his sides ached.
“I asked him to keep them in his haramaki at least,” Chopper said, “But he never puts them in the case because he thinks the case too bulky, just drops the glasses in his haramaki by themselves. But then he rolls over and smushes them. I’m worried he’ll get so sick of the glasses, he just won’t use them at all.”
“There, there,” Sanji said, patting the little reindeer on the back, “There’s nothing you can do about terminal idiocy, Chopper.” He put the finished ice cream sundae in front of him, and Chopper’s eyes lit up. Sanji watched him eat fondly, then turned his thoughts to the mosshead’s predicament, considering what he could do for their doctor’s sanity.
---
Zoro
“Hey.”
Zoro opened his eyes to see the cook standing over him. His hand reached to the side, trying to find his glasses in case Sanji wanted to spar. He panicked slightly when he couldn’t feel them. They were his last pair.
“Here they are, dumbass,” Sanji said, blurry hands approaching as he put Zoro’s glasses on his face, bringing the cook’s own face into focus.
“What do you want?” Zoro asked.
“A present for you, mosshead,” Sanji said, offering him a long thin box. Looking suspiciously at the box, Zoro cracked it open and found a gold chain inside.
“Don’t wear jewelry,” Zoro said, confused.
“It’s not jewelry,” Sanji said, rolling his eyes, “They’re for your glasses. So they can hang around your neck if you don’t want them on all the time. And that box is thin, you can use them as a case since you don’t like your other one.”
Surprised at the sudden gift, Zoro let Sanji take his glasses off, shivering when Sanji’s fingers brushed his earlobes. Sanji put the glasses chain on and then slipped them around Zoro’s neck.
“Somehow even your property gets lost,” Sanji sighed, “You really are something.”
“Thanks,” Zoro said hesitantly, unsure why the cook went out of his way to get him the presents. He put his glasses back on so he could better see Sanji’s expression.
“You really don’t look bad in glasses,” Sanji said, cocking his head as he scrutinized Zoro. Flushing, Zoro took them off immediately. Sanji giggled, then reached his hand out. Zoro wordlessly handed his glasses over, and Sanji put them on.
“Christ, your vision is so shitty,” Sanji said, eyes crossing as he tried to look through the frames. He let the glasses perch on the tip of his nose, looking over them.
“You look good in glasses,” Zoro blurted out.
“Yeah?” Sanji asked, handing them back to Zoro, “Well, my vision, like most things about me, is perfect. But maybe one day I’ll try a fake pair on for size.” He stood and sauntered back to the kitchen.
“Don’t lose those again, mosshead,” he called back. Zoro put his glasses back on, resolving to be more careful with them from then on.
---
An attacking pirate swung at Zoro’s neck. He dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding the blade. Feeling suddenly off-balance, he reached toward his neck, searching for the familiar presence of his glasses chain, and felt only air. Furious, he whirled on the pirate, cutting him down quickly before retreating to a corner to survey the damage. The pirate had sliced his chain evenly. A portion of it dangled just below his right ear, the other longer section hung by his shoulder.
He took his glasses off and tried to tie the two ends together. He abandoned this idea when he could barely see the thin metal without his glasses on.
“Curly,” he called out.
“What?” Sanji asked, kicking a pirate overboard with a quick snap of his leg.
“I need help,” Zoro said.
“With what?” Sanji asked again. He looked around, confused at the absence of enemies around Zoro.
“Fucker broke my glasses chain,” Zoro hissed, holding it up to Sanji.
“Let me see,” Sanji said, standing close to him and examining the broken chain.
“I’ll just tie it together for now,” Sanji said, placing the glasses back on Zoro’s head as he worked to fix the chain. His fingers moved nimbly, his hands so very close to Zoro’s face. Zoro resisted the urge to lean into them.
“Should do for now,” Sanji said, “I’ll get you a new one soon, mosshead.”
“Don’t want a new one,” Zoro grunted, “I’ll keep this one.”
“Why?” Sanji asked, “It’ll probably break again.”
“It was a gift,” Zoro said stubbornly.
“How… sentimental,” Sanji said, a smile breaking across his face.
Zoro pushed his glasses up after they slid down his nose. He watched Sanji follow the movement, eyes fond.
Over the past few weeks, there had been more and more fond looks coming from the Strawhat cook. Even Zoro, who was essentially blind, saw the way Sanji watched him, and cooked and cared for him.
Zoro made a quick decision, leaning forward to press his lips against Sanji’s cheek, in the process bumping his glasses against Sanji’s nose. Sanji pulled his head away in shock, as Zoro, embarrassed, fixed his glasses knocked askew.
“Was that an attempted headbutt?”
“Was an attempted kiss,” Zoro muttered.
Sanji chuckled, and relief flooded Zoro at the sight. “We’ll need to work on that,” Sanji said.
“So there’s something to work on?” Zoro asked.
Sanji ducked forward and took Zoro’s glasses off momentarily, leaving a quick kiss on his lips. He retreated, then tugged at the chain lightly to make sure it was secure. “Come find me later, mosshead,” he said, before leaping back into battle.
---
(“Oh look, a three-eyed, three-sword, three-earring pirate. You really are taking the three thing seriously,” Sanji teased when they reunited in Sabaody. “You should just get a monocle. Very distinguished.” “I like my glasses,” Zoro muttered, “And my glasses chain.”)
(“I can fix that,” Law said on Punk Hazard, waving his long fingers around before Zoro could say a word. Zoro, vision suddenly corrected, still stored his glasses and chain in his haramaki, a precious keepsake.)
(“Hey look, I’m you,” Sanji laughed, pointing at his fake glasses when they went undercover on Dressrosa. “Yeah, yeah,” Zoro said, kissing him on the cheek. Sanji really did look handsome in glasses.)