Chapter Text
Neytiri was crying, and it was breaking Jake’s heart.
Ripped up roots, jagged limbs, and downed trees littered the landscape. The unnatural smell of diesel and exhaust tainted the air, and the rumbling cacophony of engines grated on Jake’s avatar’s sensitive ears. The RDA bulldozers continued on their path of destruction, leaving razed earth behind them, oblivious to the unfathomable loss they’d wrought. The Tree of Voices was uprooted, and with it generations of the Omatikaya’s memories were lost.
Jake bared his teeth in fury, holding Neytiri while she cried out in devastation.
Damn the RDA. Leave it to a crooked corporation to ruin everything they touched.
They could have easily gone around this grove of sacred trees. When Jake held up his arms to halt their progress, any decent person would have seen natives in distress and stopped to evaluate, or at the very least change the direction the dozers were heading. When it was clear that they weren’t stopping, Jake had snapped. Without cameras, they’d be blind and forced to stop. He’d lept onto the nearest bulldozer, smashing the camera lens in, before being forced to flee when one of the grunts started firing on him.
Which led him to where he was now; helpless to stop the destruction, standing on the fringe of the forest. Jake’s ears flattened, and his tail lashed back and forth in agitation. If there was one thing Jake hated, it was feeling helpless.
The worst part was knowing that he was complicit in this senseless decimation of something sacred. Sure he’d tried to stop them, but Jake knew it was too little, too late. To be fair, he didn’t know the bulldozers were going to mow down the Utraya Mokri, hell, he didn’t even know about the trees and their significance until twelve hours ago.
Even so, he had known the bulldozers were on their way. Isn’t that what Quaritch had said? That’s why he’d been given three months.
A chill went down Jake’s spine as he realized his time had run out. The RDA didn’t care about negotiations, they were always going to force the Omatikaya out of Hometree. It took Jake nearly all three months to realize that no matter the threat, the People would never just abandon their home.
What was he supposed to do? Jake was now awake to the senseless greed of the company he had been working for; he couldn’t stick his head in the sand and pretend he was just following orders.
Jake knew he was at a crossroads, coming to a precipice of choice. It was a precarious moment, standing on the razor’s edge, and his decisions could either send him soaring or tumbling.
He could choose to do nothing. This was going to happen no matter what, Jake had known this from the beginning of the mission. He could give the Na’vi their warning, and leave. Quaritch already had his corporate approval to get his legs back. Wasn’t that all Jake had ever wanted?
As he held a grieving Neytiri in his arms, he knew that what he wanted was now much more complicated. Even if he had his legs back, he couldn’t fathom leaving the beauty of Pandora for the grey, dead Earth. He knew he’d miss the Omatikaya; the way they took joy in their everyday life, the way they knew they were part of something greater, something bigger and intricately connected.
And then there was Neytiri.
God, Neytiri. Jake had never wanted anything in his life the way he wanted her, not even when he’d been lying in a hospital bed after Venezuela.
It seemed impossible, but by some miracle she had wanted him too.
Neytiri had said she was with him now, that they were mated for life. Even now, though not connected through tsaheylu, he could feel an echo of her in his mind, like a soothing mental afterimage.
Jake looked down at Neytiri, and realized he now had a wife; no, a mate, for the rest of his life.
Jake couldn’t abandon her, what even happened to mated Na’vi if their spouse left, or died? He doubted that they’d remarry. Jake could feel that he was somehow different now, that his spirit felt changed on a fundamental level after bonding with Neytiri.
He made his decision.
Jake chose her, as they chose each other last night. If it was the RDA versus the Omatikaya, well, he knew whose side he was on.
The only problem was, Jake didn’t have a damn clue on what to do next. He couldn’t do anything on his own; he depended on the RDA’s equipment and link technology just to function in this body. He could move the remote shack to a new location, but he’d need Trudy’s cooperation to make that possible. Honestly he needed Norm and Grace too.
It was a mess. A nightmare. He’d be asking three people to give up on humanity to side with a different species, living in hiding on a world where they couldn’t even breathe the air. That would go over well. Jake groaned internally.
Neytiri was calming down, her wails turning into sniffles. She wiped her cheeks with her hands, and turned around to face Jake with fire in her eyes.
“Come, ma Jake, we must return to Hometree. The warriors will be gathering to decide what must be done.”
She took his hand, and started tugging him in the direction of Hometree; but Jake wasn’t moving.
Jake stood as still as stone, while fingers of icy dread clenched around his heart. If the warriors were planning a counterattack, they’d be wiped out. Jake wanted to help, but he wasn’t ready yet. He needed a plan; he needed help! Worst of all, Neytiri still didn’t know the awful, awful truth.
Something much worse than the destruction of the tree of voices was coming.
Jake had to tell them what he knew, but what would happen if he told them all together at Hometree, when the warriors were spoiling for a fight? Tensions were bound to boil over. They wouldn’t understand what he’d done, they wouldn’t understand how he could hold this information from them and still live as one of The People.
They wouldn’t believe him. He’d be a traitor. And what of Neytiri? What would she think? She’d be crushed.
No, he couldn’t confess to the Clan right now, but he could do something.
He could tell Neytiri.
Jake needed her on his side, but even if they spoke in private, she still wouldn’t understand. Hell, Jake wasn’t even sure he understood. Any justification he could give now felt hollow.
Now that he could See.
Jake felt like he’d been hit by a ton of bricks. Suddenly, the concept of ‘I see you’ finally clicked.
He needed Neytiri to understand—needed her to see the world he came from—needed her to know how the promise of getting his legs back had meant so much.
Jake needed her to see him.
Jake had to have Neytiri grasp how he used to think. If the omatikaya were going to have to leave regardless, he might’ve been able to make it better, right? He could help everyone make the best of it, and he would get his mobility back at the end. Win-win.
That was the plan anyway; until Neytiri and the forest changed him.
Jake’s mind reeled desperately. Words didn’t always convey the meaning, the intent of a person—and sometimes Jake didn’t have a way with words anyway. Not to mention there was still a bit of a language barrier. How could he convince his mate that he was on her side, when he had to reveal his betrayal? Jake felt like there were stones in his heart. Every heartbeat pushed dread through his veins.
It was now or never.
“Neytiri, I need to talk to you about something first, before we go back.” Jake tugged back on her hand, bringing her back closer to him.
“No, ma Jake, we must go now. My people will not stand for the desecration of the tree of voices. We must join them. Whatever you have to say can wait until after.” She looked into his face, confused at the worry she saw there.
Jake shook his head. “We’ll go soon, but no, it really can’t wait.” He swallowed thickly, tail lashing back and forth behind him. “Neytiri, I need to tell you….I need to explain…” he exhaled shakily and put both hands gently on her arms.
“I am listening, Jake. What is so troubling to you?” Her large eyes flickered over his face, noting his distress.
Jake chuckled once, dryly. “I don’t know where to start. I feel like I’m gonna screw this up.”
Neytiri reached out and gently touched his face; and it reminded Jake of when they’d made tsaheylu the night before.
Relief crashed through Jake’s anxiety. Tsaheylu. The bond.
Jake didn’t have to just rely on his words, he could show her what had happened. He could show her how he was confined to a wheelchair, he could show her the complete shitstorm that was life on earth. Neytiri would feel the truth through the bond, she would know that Jake wasn’t deceiving her. She would sense his feelings, his emotions, and know that they were genuine. She’d be able to feel his overwhelming love for her.
Jake had never admitted it to himself, and hadn’t told Neytiri in words yet, but it was true. He loved her. Holy crap, how he loved her.
How many revelations could a man have in one day? Jake felt the beginnings of a headache starting.
Jake cleared his throat and looked into his mate’s beautiful eyes. “Neytiri, make the bond with me. I can’t explain this right otherwise.”
Whatever Neytiri was expecting Jake to say, it wasn’t this. She made a small noise of surprise. “What, now? Are you certain it cannot wait?”
Jake gently took her hand, and pulled her down to a kneeling position opposite him. She went willingly, confusion still clear in her golden eyes. “Trust me, baby, it can’t wait.” Jake took his queue from behind his back and extended it towards her. She mirrored his movements, but before they connected, Jake put his other hand on hers, stopping her from connecting.
“I hope you understand everything after this. But even if you don’t,” Jake exhaled shakily, “I want you to know I love you. Oel ngati kameie, ma Neytiri.”
Without another word, Jake brought their queues together. They both gasped as they made tsaheylu for only the second time as a mated pair, and together they sunk into the depths of memory.