Chapter Text
November 2, 1975
3:23 a.m.
A young woman screamed in agony. Her husband, furiously sweating, held her hand as she gripped it back tightly.
"You're doing great, Mrs. Kaspbrak," a young nurse said, dabbing her head with a wet cloth.
"I don't care if I'm doing great!" She cried, "I just want this baby out of me!"
Her husband gently shushed her, "Sonia, hon, it'll all be over soon. Just a few more pushes, and we'll be able to see our beautiful, healthy baby boy soon."
She huffed before crying in pain, "I told you. She's going to be a girl!"
"Just one more push," the doctor said, barely being heard over her screams.
One final push and the room quieted as Sonia caught her breath. Her husband, Frank, had taken the nurse's damp cloth and cleaned her with it. "You did so well, sweetie. So very good."
A wail interrupted him, and Sonia gasped. Frank gently let go of her hand and stood up from his chair on wobbly legs. After taking a few shaky steps, he finally made it to the nurse. He took a peek over her shoulder before turning back towards Sonia with a smile.
"Well, looks like I won." A tap on his shoulder interrupted him. Turning around, the nurse held out the bundle to him.
"Would you like to hold your son, Mr. Kaspbrak?"
He smiled, "would I?" He held out his arms, and the nurse gently maneuvered him into the desired position before placing the baby down. She continued to coach him through how to hold the baby as he brought him over to Sonia.
The woman herself had tears in her eyes. "Oh... He's beautiful." She looks towards Frank with a teasing yet tired smile, "I told you he would be a boy."
He kissed her forehead with a laugh, "and you are always right, my dear."
They both glance down at a tiny wail, Sonia gently shushing him.
The nurse asked, "What would you like to name him?"
Sonia glanced at Frank with an adoring look, "Edward Franklin Kaspbrak. Eddie for short."
The nurse wrote down the name and left the new parents alone with their son. Eddie yawned, stretching his tiny arms out towards them.
"His soulmate is going to be very lucky," Sonia whispered.
"Yes, they are," Frank agreed, "and I can't wait for the day he gets his identification and finds his soulmate. I can't wait to watch him grow up."
Five Years Later
Frank Kaspbrak sat up in his hospital bed as the door swung open, and in came Eddie, bouncing with energy. Eddie jumped on the bed, tackling his father in a death grip.
"Hi, Papa!"
Frank laughed, "Hey there, kiddo. How was your first day at school?"
Eddie's smile faltered, which had Frank concerned. Sonia walked into the room with a weary look on her face. "Apparently, some of the kids were picking on Eddie."
"What?" Asked Frank, alarmed, "did ya rough them up for me?"
Eddie smiled, and Sonia gently slapped his arm, "Frank!"
He laughed, "I'm kidding. Sheesh, woman, don't abuse the sick man!"
Sonia's smile fell, and Frank instantly felt terrible. Eddie noticed the mood change, and he mirrored his mother's expression.
"How are you feeling, Papa?"
He smiled, "much better than I was now that my two favorite people are here."
Eddie smiled, laying across his father's chest, his arms reaching around his waist as far as they could. He could almost get his arms all the way around him now. This only reminded Eddie how sick his Papa really was.
"When are you coming home?"
Sonia started to tear up, pulling a tissue out of her purse while Frank tried to answer. "I'm not sure, bud. But I'll try and get home as soon as possible. I promise." Eddie smiled, and a yawn tore through his lips. "Looks like someone has had a long day."
Eddie nodded his head, rubbing his eyes, "can I see your identication? And you tell me the story again?"
"Again?" Frank asked in fake exasperation as Sonia laughed at her son's pronunciation, pulling up a chair to sit down. She slowly grabbed a pen and drew a dove on her arm. They all watched Frank's arm as the Dove gradually formed on his arm. Eddie couldn't help but let out a giggle.
"I hope me and my soulmate can do that."
They smiled down at him as Eddie grabbed the pen and drew on his dad's arm. They all watched in anticipation, waiting for the writing to appear on his mother's arm, but nothing happened.
He frowned, "it's not working!"
Sonia laughed, "that's because only the two soulmates can communicate with each other."
Eddie made an oh sound before snuggling up to Frank. "Storytime?"
"What story do you want to hear?"
Eddie just gave him a look, and Frank laughed, "the soulmate story. Ok, ok."
They all settled down, and Frank and Sonia both began their story.
One Year Later
Eddie and Sonia stood in the rain with a few other people as they all watched the casket be lowered into the ground. Sonia was wailing her eyes out as Eddie just stood there, cleared face. He didn't understand. Soulmates were supposed to stay together forever. Fathers were supposed to last forever. Why was his gone?
Eddie's best friend, Bill, came over and gripped Eddie's hand, which was all it took. Eddie and Bill met that year at the beginning of 1st grade. They were both bullied, and they were nearly inseparable. Eddie latched onto Bill and cried into his shoulder. Bill gently lowered him onto the muddy ground, rubbing his back soothingly. He was sad, upset, and angry. But he wasn't cold. Holding onto Bill, he felt warm.
One by one, everyone left, only the remaining Kaspbraks and the Denbroughs remaining. Eddie and Bill were still on the ground when Sonia came up and ripped Eddie away from Bill. The two boys cried out in alarm as Sonia dragged Eddie away.
"Look at you, Eddie! Sitting on the muddy ground. Look! Now, you've got your suit all filthy. You know you could get very sick from doing that. All of those germs!"
Getting in the car, Eddie looked over at his mother in alarm. As the car started down the road, he noticed a faded drawing of a dove on her arm. You could barely see it, but you could in just the proper lighting.
"Mommy, what's that?" She glanced over as he pointed at her arm.
She stopped ranting and sighed, "the first thing me and your father ever wrote to each other. It'll remain permanently on my skin to remind me he's gone." His mom let out another sob, and he stopped asking questions soon after.
Three Years Later
Nine-year-old Eddie came running into his house, fanny pack swinging from his hip, pill bottles jingling along. "Mommy! Mommy! Guess what?"
Sonia was sitting in her usual chair, watching soap operas. Sweat slowly dripped from her double chin, but she looked over with a fond smile.
"Yes, Eddie?"
The little boy tried to get into his mother's lap but, realizing there was no room, sat on the arm of the chair.
"We learned about soulmates today and their identification, and there's so many!" Sonia's face morphed into a frown as Eddie continued to rant. "There's this one where your eyes change color to that of your soulmates. Another where you have a strand of their hair, which is rather gross. There's even one where you'll taste what your soulmate tastes, which is ew. And another where you have a saying on your ski-"
"Eddie!" Eddie stopped at her outburst, and his mother gently pulled him down onto her. "All this soulmate talk makes me wonder."
Her sullen face had Eddie reaching up to cup her cheek, "what, mommy?"
She sighed, "that you're going to leave me someday."
Eddie's eyes widened, and he furiously shook his head, "no, mommy! I'm going to stay with you forever! And my soulmate will too."
Her eyes darken, "you know they won't do that. They'll try and take you from me, sweetie."
"No-"
"But they will. And they won't love you nearly as much as I do. And imagine all the germs they can give you. They won't know what you're allergic to or the foods that make you sick."
Eddie sat and thought about what his mother was saying. His nine-year-old brain just didn't comprehend.
"They won't love me?"
"Not nearly as much as I will. That's why you have to stay with me. Your soulmate doesn't deserve you, Eddie." She gripped his chin and forced him to look at her. He flinched at the harsh grip, "you'll stay with mommy forever. Won't you, Eddie-Bear?"
He stared into her eyes and slowly nodded, "yes, mommy."
She smiled, "Good. Now, can you go get mommy some more ice cream?"
"Yes, mommy," he slowly slid off of her and walked away, barely glancing at the picture of his mother and father showing off their matching marked arms.
Three More Years Later
Eddie rode his bike through the barrens at an alarming speed, six other figures following behind just as fast. Crossing the river and heading into the woods, they all finally screeched to a stop. Each one jumps off their bike at an alarming speed. It was so fast that Eddie nearly tripped, almost hitting his broken arm if it weren't for the lanky arms that caught him.
"Easy there, Dr. K! Wouldn't want ya injurin' yourself anymore, or your mother might commit a murder."
"Fuck my mom and fuck you, Trashmouth. I can take care of myself."
Richie Tozier held up his hands with a crooked grin on his face in all his glory. Climbing into the clubhouse, they all looked at each other and their haggard, disgusting looks.
"W-we all lo-look like sh-sh-shit," Bill said, breaking the tense atmosphere.
One by one, all of the Losers started to laugh, Richie throwing the baseball bat down that he had acquired. Stan was doing the same with the water pipe he found. They all sat in a circle, each person lying or touching another. It was like they were all making sure the other was there. No one making a sound, just living in that moment.
A choked sob broke the silence. As one, they all turned to Stan, who had his head cast down. Richie crawled towards him, being the first to react to his best friend's distress. That act alone had Stan breaking down. "I can't believe we just did that. We all could have died. I-You all left me. But you didn't. You found me and... Thank you."
He broke down into sobs, and they all huddled around each other, forming a protective circle around Stan. "I was so scared."
"We all were," Beverly answered gently, "but we all survived. We're all here. And we all love you."
"I-I love you guys too."
A warmth spread through Eddie as each Loser repeated the sentiment. None of them let go of the other, each falling asleep with their arms and legs tangled up with the next person. Eddie distantly wondered if this was what it was like to have a soulmate. But he wouldn't change his Losers for that any day.
November 2, 1990
3:20 a.m.
Just three more minutes. All it took was three more minutes, and he'll know what his identification was. And he'll set out to find his soulmate, just like everybody else was doing. His mother sat in her room; he knew it. She was waiting just like he was. She thought he was going to stay, but he wasn't. He wanted out.
He was the first out of the Losers to get his identification, but he knew they wouldn't bother him until tomorrow. He even kicked Richie out of his room a few hours ago. The bastard tried to stay so he could see, but they all promised to show them their identifications when they were all together.
He read the clock, 3:22; a knock interrupted his musing.
"Eddie-Bear?" his mom spoke, "may I come in?"
He knew he couldn't deny or hide from her, so he slowly opened the door. She took no time in charging in and placing herself on his bed.
"Are you excited?"
He shook his head, "A bit nervous."
She softly smiled at him, "I was nervous too."
He glanced at her, saw her soft, reminiscing look, and decided to go for it. "How did you know you had to draw on your arm? How did you know it wasn't something else?"
Her eyes focused on him, "I didn't. It took me quite a while. Especially since I was a bit older than your... Anyway, whatever your identification is, you'll always be right by my side. Right?"
Before he could answer, his alarm went off. He closed his eyes and waited for something to happen. A spark, a tingle, an itch, a something! His mom's gasp had him opening his eyes, and he saw his mother with a confused yet small smile on her face. She noticed him looking at her, and all she did was tap the side of her neck. Turning towards his mirror, he glanced at his neck, and his eyes widened.
"A fucking S?!" And lo and behold was a big black S on his neck, a few dark red lines going through it.
Sonia gasped, "Eddie!"
"An S! What does that even mean? What the fuck?! This is-This is bullshit!"
"Eddie," his mom tried to sound comforting, but he knew she was happy. He'd never find his soulmate and be forced to stay here with her.
"Get out." He hissed. She was thrown back by the pure venom in his voice. She hasn't heard that since he was 12. "Get out!"
She slowly got up and turned towards the door, "I guess this proves that you'll have to stay with me forever."
He made his way towards the door as she stepped out, and he promptly slammed it shut. He didn't have a lock, and his mother wouldn't allow him to have one. So, he placed a chair under the knob to ensure she wouldn't be coming in.
He sat on his bed, tears falling from his eyes. He couldn't show the Losers this. This was embarrassing. Humiliating! Richie was sure to make fun of him once he saw it. Bill too. He'll just hide it. Yea. He'll buy some makeup. Cover it up. But he had to make sure no one knew or noticed. He thought back to the only girl in the group.
"I am so fucked."
Eddie slowly made his way toward the clubhouse, kicking at the fallen snow. It was way too early, but the Losers all agreed to meet up at this time. Eddie knew he was the last one to arrive. He purposely did so to have enough time to cover his mark up. It wasn't perfect, and he's sure the color was slightly off, but he'll get the hang of it over time.
He slowly climbed down, and all chatter amongst the group stopped.
"Finally!" Richie exclaimed, getting up and huddling around him. The others followed in silence, waiting for his fantastic news.
"Well?" Asked Ben, ever the romantic when it comes to this stuff.
"Well, what?" Eddie asked back, shoving his way through the group and tossing his bag on the ground. He heard the glass liquor bottle he brought clatter, and he winced, hoping he didn't break it. He made his way toward the hammock, but Richie stopped him.
"Well~" he drawled, "where's your identification? Every hair seems to be the same. And your eyes. Do you have to draw on your skin? Is there a picture on your skin somewhere of what they like? Words? Do you taste everything they taste?"
Richie laughed to himself about that one, and the others stood off awkwardly as Eddie glared. "I'm not telling you." Richie stopped laughing and just stared at him in astonishment.
Bill stepped forward, "wh-what do you m-m-mean, Eddie?"
Eddie sighed, "look, I know we all agreed to show our identifications, but I want to keep mine a secret, ok?"
Eddie noticed Beverly look at his neck questioningly, and Eddie looked away. She nodded to herself before speaking out loud. "Ok, Eddie. If that's what you want."
He smiled at her as the others slowly agreed. Bill seemed a bit hesitant, but a push from Mike had him agreeing. Eddie turned back towards Richie, who had his head down and eyebrows furrowed.
"So, you're just going back on your word?"
"Richie," Beverly warned, but he ignored her.
Eddie sighed, "Richie, I just don't feel comfortable sharing this with you guys."
Richie's head snapped up, and Eddie winced, realizing his mistake.
"After everything we've been through, you don't feel 'comfortable?'"
"Richie-"
"Fuck you, Eds," Richie turned and plopped himself onto the hammock, no room for Eddie to even try and squeeze in.
He turned to the other Losers, who turned away from the scene, except Beverly and Stan. Eventually, Stan walked up and hugged him.
"Happy Birthday, Eddie."
"Thanks, Stan."
Beverly walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. Eddie felt that warmth spread through him again, and he smiled.
"Happy Birthday, Hon."
Mike and Bill left after saying their happy birthdays to get the cake as the others said theirs, pulling out the gifts for him. Eddie walked over to the hammock and gently touched Richie's back. Eddie noticed him gently scoot around, and he crawled in behind him at the little room he was given. He heard a snort come from behind him before a distinct slap echoed through the room.
If he had to guess, Beverly probably just hit Stan.
Richie turned and wrapped his arms around him, placing their foreheads together. "If you want to be all dark and mysterious, I guess I can let this go."
Eddie smiled and whispered a 'thank you' to him.
Richie smiled and squeezed him, bringing him closer, "Happy Birthday, Eds."
He rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, "I'll let that nickname go just this once."
"You also let it go the last time I said it," Richie said with the biggest shit-eating grin.
Eddie thought back to earlier and realized he did call him Eds in their argument.
Eddie smiled back at Richie and realized that they would be ok. "Don't get used to it, Trashmouth."
Eddie turned back towards the other Losers, Richie's arms still around him, and thought they would be ok. The warmth spread again; almost like the others could feel it, they glanced at him and smiled. He smiled back as Richie's arms tightened.