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For all the things that Sousuke found beautiful, he never expected "I only swim free" Nanase Haruka to be one of them.
Sure Rin's letters waxed poetic about him, but he had never seen the guy so he really couldn't understand Rin's infatuation-no matter how hard the other boy denied it to be-with the blue eyed boy. However, understanding dawned on him the first time he saw Nanase in middle school, not that he'd ever admit it of course. There was no denying it though, Nanase was beautiful. Small and lith, eyes that sparkled like two gemstones, on some level he understood how Rin was so obsessed with him. That didn't mean he had to like him though.
It sounds petty, so Sousuke wouldn't even give the time of day to bother with an answer if anyone asked him, but he did feel slightly guilty for hating Nanase for all those years. Not even in his grave would Sousuke admit it, especially not to Rin. Although hating wouldn't be the correct term, no, Sousuke was more jealous than anything. Here he was working his ass off to meet Rin in the Olympics and trying to remain by his side, and then life throws a curve ball and suddenly all Sousuke can hear is Nanase this and Nanase that and if Rin had talked even a little more about the friggin guy Sousuke himself might've even developed a crush on the guy.
So of course he had to work harder, to train harder, to be better than everyone, especially to be better than Nanase Haruka. So instead of a curve ball, life threw him a brick. His shoulder, a consequence of his training. Sousuke hated himself for it for a long time. He supposed the anger of his injured shoulder was like adding logs to the fire of his hatred for Nanase. Misplaced anger, his therapist says, he lied when he said he wouldn't admit it, but sometimes pride needed to be pushed back.
He does regret taking out his misplaced anger on the guy, but would he do it all again to end up in the position he was in right now?
Absolutely not.
Cramped in a small broom closet, his back to the door, dust settling on his nose making it twitch, mop and broom handles a hair breathed away from toppling onto him and and the strong chemical smell of lemon and lavender with a hand over his mouth and bright sparkling blue-so blue, why were they so blue-gemstones for eyes peering up at him. Distantly he could hear the gaggle of girls that had followed and forced them into this position slowly walk farther and farther from their little broom closet.
He could feel Nanase let out a sigh, could feel his body release the tension it held, his head hung low and rested on Sousuke's chest as his hand went slack, but before the hand fully removed from his mouth, Sousuke stuck out his tongue and gave it a strong and unapologetic lick. Nanase only looked at him hard, he replied to it with a smirk, and then the bastard had returned it by wiping his hand on his cheek. Sousuke was tempted to call back those girls and leave Nanase for dead.
"Why are you here?" Jerk.
"Tachibana dragged me," Nanase only stared at him, "he got called back home, something urgent." The staring didn't relent, Sousuke should be worried he knew what Nanase was trying to say, without actually saying anything. Why are you still here then? Was Sousuke going to give in? Absolutely not, he was petty to the very end. "I can't read your mind like Tachibana you know."
"Why are you still here Yamazaki?" Sousuke wasn't sure if Nanase had blinked in the middle of their interaction or not, maybe he was eating too much mackerel, as they say; you are what you eat.
The silence yawned like a cavern, why was he still here? He knew it was just practice, no race or competition. He needed to find an excuse soon, no way in hell was he admitting he had gotten mesmerized by Nanase cutting through the water like a damn dolphin, that the stupid hair flip he did when he removed his swim cap made Sousuke's heart stutter because he looked so stupid. The next thing he knew, the race was over and he was sitting in the bleachers like an idiot while everyone else was leaving. Though he hadn't been super close, he could still see Nanase's eyes sparkle in happiness, a bare hint of a smile on his face when he broke his time. He had pride dammit! And he wasn't going to give it all up for stupid pretty boy Nanase Haruka!
"To update Rin so he knows what you're up to." Sousuke wanted to cheer and simultaneously slap himself. Fortunately Nanase seemed to have accepted it and backed away, as much as he could, seeing as they were still cramped in a broom closet.
"So, you've got quite the fanclub Nanase." He received a glare in return so it was worth it. Without a word Nanase grasped blindly at the door handle and twisted, Sousuke almost fell through the doorway, not expecting it to open so suddenly. He shot Nanase a glare and Sousuke dared to even say he looked smug.
"Goodbye Yamazaki." The pretentious bastard didn't even look back at him and just continued walking. It wasn't until Nanase had left his field of vision did Sousuke turn the other way and began walking away.
Sousuke likes to think of himself as a man not easily provoked. That's a lie and you know it, a voice that sounded suspiciously a lot like Rin, jabbed.
Yet here he was, getting provoked. By Nanase-fucking-Haruka. You would definitely like to fuck that- Sousuke had an inkling he was hanging around Rin too much.
Back to the matter at hand, Sousuke had found himself- again- in a broom closet with none other than the massive pain in his ass with such beautiful eyes that were truly wasted on him and his weird tendencies. But Sousuke really wouldn't have it any other way. Is what he would say if it wouldn't open Pandora's box and attract unlimited teasing from Rin, the much more annoying and emotional pain in his ass.
The broom closet this time, was similar to the one they had found themselves in the first time, dusty, dark, overstocked with cleaning supplies that smelled of citrus and flowers, the teetering pile of mops and brooms that would no doubt rise the dead with the sound they would make if it were to crash. Oh and a bucket.
Nanase had managed to form a-Sousuke would like to say little but considering the fact that they were hiding from their stampede for the second time that month it wouldn't be the appropriate word-sizable fanclub.
However he did get where they were coming from, to an extent. He still understood though. It was undeniable that Nanase was attractive, to girls and to guys, Rin was a testament and living proof of it. His body was lithe and toned similar to how he looked like in middle school, but instead of soft edges, smooth expanses of skin and a baby face he had to grow out of, he had hard muscle that looked like it had been cut and carved from marble, but unlike Tachibana's and Sousuke's own jacked and buffed up body. His height wasn't towering so he didn't look too intimidating. His hair was soft and framed his face beautifully. His eyes were the masterpiece-not that Sousuke would admit it outloud, actually Sousuke wouldn't admit to anything about Nanase except that he was a little piece of shit-because they were like sapphires, a kaleidoscope of blues that looked as if whichever deity that had created them had placed pools of water in his eyes.
And those very eyes were peering up at him through long-why were they so long-lashes. Instead of Nanase having his head on his chest like last time, they were chest to chest, their faces mere centimeters apart. Sousuke could've let the stampede of girls claim him, but something in his gut disagreed with a bunch of girls touching and surrounding him like a piece of meat and they were a pride of lions. He clicked his tongue, and thanked that the small space they were taking up was dark so Nanase couldn't see the blush he knew he held from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.
"Oi. Nanase. Why do you always drag me with you into these closets?" Sousuke would've liked to make an "inside the closet" joke but he was unsure if Nanase was gay or otherwise.
"Why do you always come to my practices?" He shot back. Completely ignoring Sousuke’s question, of course.
"Rin wanted me to film you so he could jack off to it." He deadpanned. Nanase just furrowed his brow.
"Hmm." Sousuke suddenly felt a lump form in his throat. Nanase sounded…unsurprised at his response yet at the same time interested. Rin would be happy to know if Nanase had vocalized or indicated any interest in him other than rivalry. However, something twisted in Sousuke's stomach at the thought.
He could still hear the girls outside, could feel the uncomfortable press of the door on his shoulder, could feel every twitch of muscle Nanase made, every breath he took. Suddenly the already cramped supply closet felt smaller, like its walls were pressing down on him. He felt hyper aware of Nanase and the surroundings around him, he needed to take a deep breath, he needed fresh air-so he grabbed wildly for the door handle and roughly twisted and pushed.
He and Nanase almost fell through but Sousuke wouldn't have minded, all that mattered was the cool air that replaced the musty smell in his lungs. His feeling of relief violently crashed when he saw time slow as Nanase hadn't been able to quickly gain his footing and fell on Sousuke, the suddenness of it had him taking a step back-but his foot caught a flier and suddenly his tailbone flared with pain that matched the one on his forehead.
Dazed and in pain, Sousuke could only see a mop of black hair and feel the warm body that crumpled on his, the heat contrasting to the cool tiled floor. The next second had him reeling, suddenly bright, crystal clear, blue eyes were looking at him, eyebrows furrowed and a deep yet nearly unnoticeable frown.
"Thank you for catching my fall."
"At least you had the decency to thank me." And then once again, air was released from his lungs and he was left gasping from the pressure on his stomach.
As it turned out Nanase had put his entire weight (which wasn't a lot but it was enough to knock the air out of him) on his stomach just to get up. After some painstaking seconds to regain his breath, Sousuke stood up and caught Nanase looking at him for a few seconds before heading off around the corner, not unlike the last time either.
Sousuke huffed and wondered if maybe he should stop coming to see his practices, but a small but very persuasive voice in the back of head managed to convince him to do otherwise.
Much to Sousuke’s chagrin, it wasn’t Nanase’s oversized fanbase that landed them in a storage closet, again.
It was Sousuke’s.
Now, Sousuke knew he was good looking, it was a fact. He couldn’t count the amount of confessions he received throughout his school years and even up until now. Although he never imagined that they would band together to create a stampede. One that wasn’t unlike Nanase’s very own.
He was still surprised however, he had just recently started swimming again, he wasn’t even in any competitions yet. He was simply doing lazy back and forth laps in the pool while the swim team was practicing. He was a former prodigy after all, he was granted some perks. So, really he hadn’t known that people were actually paying attention to him. Therefore it wasn’t his fault when he was taken off guard by the sheer amount of students that were apparently waiting for him outside the locker room. So, it was perfectly reasonable that upon seeing the crowd, he made a break for it.
Was he a coward? Maybe. Did he care? Not really, self preservation won. However, regret followed him like a shark chasing the scent of blood. He was a big guy, really it wasn’t a surprise that someone noticed him running away. What Sousuke didn’t count of was running into fucking Nanase Haruka. So, without thinking he grabbed the smaller man and shoved him into the nearest open door, which happened to be another supply closet.
Before Nanase could utter a word, Sousuke brought a hand roughly to his face and covered it and shushed him. In retaliation Nanase licked his palm, giving Sousuke the same treatment he had given him the first time they found themselves in a similar situation. So, it was only fair for Sousuke to return Nanase’s gesture, he wiped his palm on Nanase’s cheek, unapologetically.
Straining his ears, Sousuke made sure absolutely no one had followed them and that no one was standing outside the door, he let out a breath.
“What the hell was that for Yamazaki?” Sousuke wanted to slap himself, of course Nanase would talk softly, even with his brows furrowed and cute really? Pout tugging the corners of his lips down. Sousuke felt the urge to kiss them away so they would even out to his usual expression.
“Thought I’d return the favor this time around,” he snarked, “what are you doing here anyway?” Unlike Nanase, Sousuke had no problem voicing his thoughts, sometimes.
Nanase stared at him for a good ten seconds then dragged his gaze downwards to their touching chests and tangled legs. All together Sousuke felt Nanase, and liquid fire raced in his veins. His arms bracketed Nanase, caging him in, their chests touching with every breath they took, one of Sousuke’s legs was in between Nanase’s own and vice versa. Their faces were inches apart. Any closer and Sousuke was sure he’d be able to feel Nanase’s breath fan his face.
God he was fucked.
But Sousuke couldn’t find it in himself to care. Nanase looked back up at him. Looking through his eyelashes, cheeks tinged pink and lips slightly parted, eyes imploring, wide and blue. Like the ocean in Iwatobi, a cascade of currents that pulled Sousuke slowly and deeply into its depths. Like a siren’s song, dragging sailors to their watery grave.
A hand was placed on his chest, soft and delicate, and small compared to Sousuke’s own large and calloused ones. He wanted to hold them. Nanase’s hand was like a brand, through his shirt, Sousuke could feel his skin burn where Nanase touched him. The heat jolted him out of his daze, Nanase’s face was suddenly closer to his and tilted to the side exposing his neck. Saliva filled his mouth and one thought dominated Sousuke’s brain, what it’d feel like to taste it.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Yamazaki.” Nanasa sounded breathless. Sousuke wanted to know if he could make him sound like that again. “Yamazaki.” Again, but more sternly. It took every inch of Sousuke’s self discipline to pull a fraction away from Nanase’s warmth. God he was so fucked.
“You didn’t answer my question Nanase.”
“...Rin told me you started swimming again.” Sousuke just looked at him. “I wanted to see.” Sousuke figured this was the most he’d get out of the guy. He let out a sigh, of course Rin wouldn’t have been able to keep it to himself, although did it really have to be Nanase.
“Go figure.”
“...You have quite the fans.” Sousuke snorted.
“You’re one to talk, how many times did you shove me in a storage closet because you couldn’t be bothered to use another exit strategy?” Nanase scowled at him. The expression brought comfort to him, they were falling back to their routine of banter. The heat Sousuke felt before receded to the back of his neck.
He brought his hands back his sides and coughed, the silence stretching between them. Once again, he strained his ears for any lone fans. Hearing nothing, he cracked the door open to see an empty hallway. Blowing a breath he opened the door wider and strode out. The heat still burning his neck, he made his quick escape, taking big gulps of air to calm his heart. Leaving Nanase to close the door himself.
Sousuke cursed Rin, he cursed Tachibana, he cursed the ones above, but most of all he cursed Nanase . Now he knew Nanase didn’t actually do anything, he still wanted to curse the guy regardless. And yes, Sousuke knew it was petty of him considering Nanase himself looked as if he wanted to be anywhere other than here as well.
Here, meaning at the Nanase household, a party going on around them. Rin was visiting from Australia on one of his rare days off. While Tachibana had decided to come home to visit his younger siblings and parents in Iwatobi. In doing so, he had coaxed Nanase to come with him. Which in turn prompted Rin to turn his trip into a one way, where he could visit both his childhood friends, sister and mother all at the same time. Which then led to Hazuki and Ryugazaki hearing about it and deciding to join in. However, Hazuki had spilled the beans to Nitori and Momo, who upon hearing that Gou was going to be there, demanded that they come as well.
Which brings Sousuke back to the present. Sitting around a table with various types of food and drinks on its top, with all the people he didn't know he had gotten close to. In all honesty, he understood Rin, and Nitori and Momo and Gou. However, Tachibana, Hazuki, Ryugazaki and Nanase. Those four, he had no idea how it happened. Though, it could've been because of the water gun fight they had last time…
On his right was Nitori, on his left was Hazuki who were chatting as if Sousuke's hulking mass wasn't between them. To Hazuki's other side was Ryugazaki, and beside him was Gou, which led to Tachibana. So, of course, beside Tachibana was Nanase. Beside Nanase was Rin of course because his total puppy love for the guy was still going strong. On Rin's other side was Momo, which led back to Nitori and back to him.
This was all rather fine, Sousuke was content just listening to the stories being exchanged around him and apparently so did Nanase. Both of them barely talking and only listening to their boisterous friends. They were all content.
Until Gou decided that they should play a game. Of seven minutes in heaven.
Now Sousuke really wanted to leave, but looking at Rin, who's sharp eyes didn't forget him. Sousuke knew his pride was too great. He kind of felt bad for Nanase though, it was his house, he had nowhere to escape to.
"So, we all know how to play right?" Dread pooled in his stomach. "Although, just to be sure, here are the rules. Two people are selected to go into a closet or other dark enclosed space and do whatever they like for seven minutes." Hazuki's hand shot up, but Gou carried on. "We will decide who will go in with a bottle. We'll start with Rei going counterclockwise, so next would be Nagisa. And whoever it lands on, will have to join the spinner in the closet." And out of seemingly thin air, she produced a glass bottle and placed it on the surprisingly, now clean, table.
Sousuke, not for the first time that night, wondered why he was even here.
Ryugazaki spun the bottle and it landed on Momo. The most untimely pair. Momo bemoaned about not going in with Gou and Ryugazaki only heaved a deep sigh. They walked to the first door on the right of the hallway, visible from where they had all gathered. And Gou, miraculous as ever, started the timer for seven minutes on her phone.
Said seven minutes past and with a loud alarm from the timer, Ryugazaki and Momo had emerged from the closet in an animated discussion of…insects. Momo was gesticulating wildly while Ryugazaki listened with rapt attention.
Next Hazuki spun the bottle and it landed on Nitori. Both repeated the process, going to the closet, set the timer for seven minutes, it passed and Nitori looked a little like he got violated with Hazuki cackling in tow.
Then it was Sousuke's turn. And he wasn't sure if he should thank the ones above that it landed on Gou. Gou was safe. He just ignored Rin’s heated glare.
And then she wasn't.
The door of the closet clicked and with barely any light, a shiver of dread ran down his spine. The closet was small, really small. Sousuke already towered over her but now he really had to cage her in. Just for them not to touch, he had to plaster himself all over the other wall and her the same. Even then, their legs were still tangled.
"So…you and Haru-senpai…" Oh he did not like her tone. So, in all eloquence, he grunted in reply. "I've heard from a few friends that you guys have been…coming out of the closet together?" Sousuke wanted to die.
"It's not what you think."
"Then what am I supposed to think Sou-kun? Because it seems to me that you both have a lot going on besides a simple fight over Onii-san." What.
"What."
"You both are fighting for his affection, no?" In the darkness, his eyes slowly adjusted, now he could see the faint silhouette of Gou's smaller frame, a finger on her chin, head tilted up at him.
" What ."
"Are you just going to repeat yourself or are you going to give me an answer?"
"What in the world gave you that idea?"
"Well…you are Onii-san's oldest friend, and considering his great love for Haru-senpai, and Haru-senpai's love for him…I'd wager that the reason you two fought was because it was over Onii-san."
Ok. It made sense. Not really, but maybe to an outsider it did. However, at Gou's words "and Haru-senpai's love for him" Sousuke's mouth went dry. Is that really how it was? Something in his heart twinged at her words, Nanase's eyes flashed through his mind, the feeling of their legs tangled in the storage closets, their chests heaving and touching with every breath they took. Nanase's long strip of pale neck, his nose, his lips. The hand that felt as if it branded Sousuke's chest, on top of his heart. He was so far gone and it seemed he was the only one falling.
Silence yawned between them for too long.
"...Sou-kun…you don't actually like Onii-san like that, but Haru-senpai instead." Sousuke could gouge that his face showed the despair he was feeling if Gou's small gasp was any indication. "Oh…Sou-kun-"
"It's fine."
And suddenly the door was pulled open by Hazuki and light flooded the closet. Sousuke schooled his expression, and sat back down between Nitori and Hazuki. The game carried on, and yet all Sousuke could do was stare blankly at the table as his companions all took their turns.
Suddenly like a splash of cold water, Rin stood up with Tachibana in tow. Sousuke watched them go into the closet and turned to see Nanase's reaction, only to see Nanase already staring back at him. He tore his eyes away before they inevitably pulled him back in like all the times before.
Then Hazuki threw open the door after their respective seven minutes and some minutes to reveal Rin and Tachibana making out.
Sousuke felt as if the air got punched out of him. At least, he wasn't the only one shocked. Hazuki cried out and the rest had their mouths hanging open. Except Nanase. Sousuke wasn't like Tachibana, he didn't know what he was thinking. All he could see was his usual blank stare, aimed at Tachibana and Rin's mortified faces.
Sousuke didn't know what to feel, should he be happy that Rin didn't actually like Nanase that way? Or should he feel mad that Rin made it seem that Nanase was his one true love, leading him and everyone on that he held romantic feelings for his rival. These emotions were like torrents, waves that crashed to the shore, squeezing his heart, making the blood in his veins rush like molten lava. Under the table his fists clenched. All sounds faded, voices melded and all that Sousuke could hear was the thump, thump, thump, of his heart racing and pounding against his ribcage. It felt as if he was drowning.
"Yamazaki." And then it was all gone. The sound of his heart, his fist unclenched, and it was like a hand grasped him and pulled him free of the watery cage. He looked up and came face to face with Nanase across the table. The bottle nose, pointing straight at him. So he got up, with Nanase at his heels.
Once again, the door clicked almost sounding like a cage being shut to never be opened again, encasing them in darkness, with only a sliver of light at their feet. It felt familiar though, despite his nervousness, to be in such a dark and cramped space with Nanase that Sousuke felt at ease. Like with Gou, his hands were braced on the other wall, but Nanase was taller than her, which brought Sousuke's face directly in front of Nanase's. Of course their legs were tangled, knees hitting thighs and toes hitting shins. The close proximity forced them to share air, every breath exhaled fanned their lashes. And Sousuke couldn't stop looking at him. Even in darkness, his eyes shone, and Sousuke knew that Nanase's eyes were his favorite shade of blue.
"It's not fair." Sousuke could feel himself utter. He didn't even recognize his own voice, breathless and pained. And Nanase brought his brows together looking so confused.
"What do you mean?" And wasn't that something. Instead of answering, Sousuke lowered one of his hands to brush a stray hair from Nanase's cheek. Brushing the skin under his eye, his fingers in his hair. His hand was big enough that it encompassed half of Nanase's head.
But Nanase made no move to bat his hand away, in fact, he leaned into it. Sousuke would almost go so far as to say he nuzzled into his touch.
"The things you do to me…" Sousuke didn't know anyone could look so confused until now, Nanase suddenly looked like a disgruntled cat, brows meeting one another and lips down turned in a pout. A face he had seen before but remained just as cute.
"...I thought you liked Rin." Sousuke stared at the man in front of him. Nanase stared back.
"He's like a brother to me." Nanase only hummed. He didn't notice until now, but he felt small hands play at his shirt, one hand on his chest, the other slowly making its way to his nape. Sousuke didn't even know he was this touch starved till Nanase lightly grasped the back of his neck, running the short strands of hair through his fingers and he felt himself leaning impossibly closer to Nanase's face leaving only centimeters apart. His hands had a mind of their own, his other hand went lower and grasped Nanase's waist, God, it was so slim. Nanase massaged his fingers through the short hair in the back of his neck and Sousuke pulled him by the waist, closer, their foreheads and noses touching.
"Nanase." God he sounded breathless.
"Haru." Haru sounded as if he wasn't any better.
"Haru ka. " If only a bit closer and Sousuke would be able to kiss him-
Then the door flew open and Sousuke found himself plastered to the opposite wall, arms at his side with Haruka doing the same on the opposite wall.
It was all a blur after that, Sousuke briefly remembered Hazuki complaining about how a fight didn't erupt between them. Gou only looked at him in concern and Rin, he looked like he could see right through him. Sousuke didn't dare look at Haruka.
The night ended, and all Sousuke could think about when he was in his bed, staring at the ceiling, is what Haruka's lips would've felt like pressed against his.
It was weeks before Sousuke even saw Nana- Haruka again. If he was being honest, he was kind of ignoring him. Not that that wouldn't have been hard, considering they went to different schools. But not once had he visited his practices and neither had Haruka visited his own. And a small sad part of Sousuke wondered if that had been best. What they had- Did they have anything to begin with? -was all in Sousuke's head and he was coming onto Haruka in the worst possible way.
So, he trained.
To get his mind off deep blue eyes. It was all in vain of course, the pools only seemed to remind him of the eyes that spoke so much more than the one who held them.
Gou tried to catch him after his practice but he left as soon as he caught sight of her. Rin video called him once he was back in Australia, no doubt picking up from Gou what they had discussed in the closet, but Sousuke gave him nothing.
Honestly, Sousuke was surprised Rin hadn't flown, if not swam across the ocean just to throttle him into giving him answers. So, imagine his surprise when one day a knock on his door reverberated throughout his apartment and broke his bubble of peace. Sousuke lowered the volume of the documentary playing on his TV, and stood up and opened his door.
Out of all the people that could've been there, Tachibana was the last on his list. Granted the list wasn't very long.
"Hello Yamazaki-kun." He smiled and Sousuke almost swore, it was like looking directly at the damn sun. Tachibana then held up a carton of confectioners from the cafe around Sousuke's block. He stepped aside to let the other man in.
"Let me guess," he drawled, "Gou put you up to this." All of a sudden Tachibana froze up and turned to him sheepishly.
"Ehe…not really."
"Then why did you come with a box of sweets, looking so suspiciously." Sousuke knew he was scary, did he feel bad for using it, just a tiny bit, on Tachibana? The look Haruka sported when Hazuki flung open that door, to reveal Tachibana and Rin in a compromising position, flashed through Sousuke's mind. He decided he didn't feel bad at all.
"I thought it would be better to come with a gift as I did come rather unannounced, sorry. You must be busy, I should've checked up earlier to see if you were free. Please take these sweets as an apology for coming in rather brashly-"
Sousuke felt a headache forming.
"Stop. You're rambling." And with a meep Tachibana slammed his mouth shut. "No I wasn't busy, but clearly you have something to say. So, just sit tight, I'll get the plates." And like a domesticated dog, Tachibana sat down and opened the box. "Tea or coffee?"
"Ah! Coffee please!"
"Really? I would have pegged you for a tea guy."
Tachibana waved his hands, "Ah, no, that's more of Haru's thing." Of course, Haruka. Sousuke hummed as a reply.
"What about you Yamazaki-kun? Coffee or tea?" Sousuke put the two mugs he retrieved from his cabinets down on the counter. A soft clank followed by water filling up the kettle filled the silence as Sousuke pondered.
"Tea."
Tachibana only laughed in response.
"You really are alike." He said it so softly, Sousuke would've missed it if the water had just started boiling or if the documentary playing on the TV was just a bit louder, but he'd heard it. Like a flood, all at once, memories of Haruka in the closets, his hand messaging his nape, the feel of his hands on his chest, so close, and yet farther than Sousuke would have ever wanted.
The kettle clicked, and he poured water in both mugs, steam rising to his face.
"Sugar? Cream?"
"Just black is fine." Sousuke clicked his tongue, for a guy so sweet and bright, he had some pretty bitter tastes. Sousuke voiced this out loud.
Tachibana just laughed as Sousuke sat down opposite him balancing two steaming mugs, plates, and forks. They both each chose which confectionery they wanted and started to dig in. Silence yawned as they ate, if it weren't for the soft narrative of the documentary, it would've been more awkward than it already was. Here Sousuke was, sitting with the potential boyfriend of his best friend, who is the best friend of Sousuke's crush who Sousuke’s best friend crushed the heart of. It was all like one of those dramas his father used to watch, so much so he almost laughed.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Sousuke asked, the man opposite him let out a hum, pushing the strawberry around his plate with his fork.
"Do you love Rin, Yamazaki-kun?"
Sousuke wasn't surprised with this turn of conversation, considering the conclusion Gou came up with. Really, it was all rather funny how everyone thought he harbored feelings for his childhood best friend, yet in the end, he fell harder than he ever had before with said childhood best friend's rival. He smiled at Tachibana, he might as well lessen the stress of him having to "fight" another for Rin's hand.
"Don't worry Tachibana, he's all yours." Tachibana's brows disappeared behind his fringe, eyes wide and lips parted.
"R-really? But I thought-"
"Yes, you and Gou both did. And I don't, never had, never will. He's a pain in my ass and I'm glad to finally marry him away." He was joking. Of course. Tachibana only cracked a nervous smile.
"Well then..this makes things awkward doesn't it?"
"Only a little bit." Sousuke sipped his tea.
"Then you like Haru-chan." And Sousuke almost died that day.
He was ashamed to say that tea spewed from his nose and back into his cup, he coughed and beat at his chest while Tachibana reached over to pat him between his shoulder blades. His nose burned, the tang of citrus and mint in his tea didn't make the best blend to take it up the nose, or out of it. And the heat didn’t help either. He continued to cough and catch his breath for a painstakingly long few minutes. He took a tissue and wiped his nose and mouth.
"What, what gave you that idea?" It was a stupid question of course. Sousuke just expelled tea from his nose at Tachibana's simple question. That reaction was self explanatory.
"Well…"
"Don't answer that."
Tachibana sighed, looked at him with a slight smile and what Sousuke gathered to be…sadness in his green eyes.
“Yamazaki-kun, I don’t mean to intrude on what you and Haru have, but, Haru-chan had looked the happiest in weeks when he came back from observing you swimming, and after the whole get together last time… I tried to ask him what happened between you two in that closet, and he just grunted! Which isn’t at all surprising but he blushed and smiled! Yamazaki-kun, he looked so ecstatic after what happened that night, and lately he’s been like a wilted flower.” Tachibana took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t know what happened between you two, all I know is that it made Haru-chan so happy that despite his usually blank face, other people started noticing!” Tachibana looked at him, eyes ablaze with fiery determination. “I won’t force you to do anything Yamazaki-kun, all I want is for Haru-chan to be happy.”
Sousuke didn’t know what to think. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who had fallen? That Haruka felt the same way he did? The full weight of anxiously waiting, pacing and worrying about Haruka not reaching out to him hit him in the face like a frozen wet rag. Maybe Haruka thought he would reach out first and thus waited for him to say something first. Sousuke wanted to facepalm, everyone knew Haruka never used his phone, he often forgot it and seldom answered calls or texts, he barely even read them. The only reason the guy had even gotten one was to appease his parents and Tachibana. Everyone knew that if you wanted to reach Haruka then you’d have to contact Tachibana first as Haruka would simply not pick up. Not to mention he was busy with swim practice, keeping in shape and attending classes. Sousuke had never felt like such an idiot.
“I’m an idiot.” And promptly dropped his head to the table with a loud thud!
“Haha…I wouldn’t say that, Yamazaki-kun.”
“Then what would you say?”
“Maybe a little dense…?”
“ Ugh. ” For a good minute and a half, Sousuke just stewed in his own self disappointment. Then it all hit him again. What if Haruka thought Sousuke wasn’t interested anymore? He could just as easily decide Sousuke wasn’t worth it or wasn’t for him and moved on! Maybe he was already with someone else who was better than him!? The doubt washed away to make room for the anger that paved its way through his mind as he imagined a nameless face circle their arm around Haruka’s small waist, make him laugh, make him smile and blush that delicious shade of pink. His imagination took a turn and suddenly the nameless and faceless figure was pinning Haruka to a bed, a flushed, panting Haruka, his gaze full of lust. Despite his anger and previous doubt, Sousuke could feel the treacherous part of himself perk to attention at the thought of Haruka pinned under him , panting because of him, begging for him. Sweat would bead his brow, tears threatening to fall, his chest would heave and Haruka would hold the back of his hand to his mouth to stop his moans from coming out, and Sousuke would gently pry his hand away to set free the absolutely lewd noises that would just spur Sousuke on-
“Yamazaki-kun!?”
Shame and embarrassment colored Sousuke’s cheeks a bright shade of red all the way from the top of his head to the back of his neck. God. He had just imagined Haruka in such a perverted way in front of his best friend. He needed to talk to Haruka, clear up what happened, beg on his knees for forgiveness, he would do anything just to be in Haruka’s life.
“I-I’m sorry, I think I need to talk to Haruka-”
“He should be at home by now!”
“Thanks Tachibana!” If Tachibana had said anything else Sousuke didn’t hear it, he haphazardly threw on a pair of shoes and sprinted out the door towards the Tachibana Nanase household. He skidded to a stop and pulled out his phone before he took any turns, he was self aware alright, he knew he was directionally challenged. To hell with pride he would use a map if it got him to Haruka any faster!
He did get lost, numerous times. Ended up knocking on too many doors that didn’t open up to Haruka’s blue eyes or soft, black hair, but instead to too many confused elders, irritated students, ones that didn’t even open. But he made it finally, eventually. At last. Out of breath, beet red and sweat pouring down his forehead and back. He couldn’t take it anymore, on his journey of navigating his way to Haruka, Sousuke had time to think, and decided he wouldn’t waste any time. If Haruka rejected him he’d accept, he’d take it and deal. If he was interested however, Sousuke didn’t know if he’d be able to control himself, they’d spent too much time at each other’s throats, only meeting when others were involved and generally just spending time as acquaintances.
He rang the doorbell and waited patiently for it to open to reveal the man he had helplessly fallen for without warning and preamble. Using this time to catch his breath he looked around, The apartment building seemed new enough, the paint didn’t appear to be too chipped or cracked and the corpses of insects didn’t speak of multiple summers.
Then the door swung open, and Sousuke’s mouth went dry. There before him stood Haruka in a shirt, a white, fluffy towel hanging around his neck and a pair of sweatpants. Hair slightly damp, a dust of pink on his cheeks and ears, water droplets hanging to his skin, he had just come out of the shower.
“Yamazaki-”
“Sousuke.”
“ Sousuke. What are you doing here?” Sousuke searched the wide, blue eyes of the shorter man before him, and he knew that he couldn’t pass this up.
“...can I come in?” Wordlessly, Haruka stepped aside and let him in. The apartment was sizable, considering the two people that lived there. It wasn’t unlike Sousuke’s own apartment. It opened up to the living room with an open kitchen to one end, a hallway leading to the bathroom and bedrooms on the other side. However, on the same wall as the hallway a couch was propped against the wall with throw pillows adorning its side with a blanket and plushies of a dolphin, orca, penguin, butterfly, shark, whale shark, otter and duck on top of the couch. Sousuke felt his face lift, it was no secret that everyone had their own animal that they identified with, but to see them in plush form filled him with fuzzy feelings he couldn’t name.
“It took forever to get them all.” Souske’s small smile widened to a full fledged one as he tried to picture Haruka looking diligently through the kids section for any of the said plushies. It was cute, Haruka’s slight furrow a pinch drawing his brows together. Then the picture morphed, Haruka and him walking through a supermarket, debating about what to make for dinner and what they’d need to make it. “Tea?”
“No, I’m okay. Thank you.” Haruka simply shrugged. Sousuke toed off his shoes and slipped on the pair of slippers that had been laid out for him. Haruka was already sitting at the kotatsu, an Iwatobi-chan mug and sketchpad laying on top of it. He simply followed. It oddly reminded him of how Tachibana had come to his abode earlier that day.
Haruka was staring at him intently. The question plain as day in his clear blue eyes, and Sousuke had to wonder, that maybe Tachibana didn’t have a talent for knowing what Haruka wanted to ask or say because the man didn’t want to voice them, but that no one really tried getting to know and understand the unspoken ess that was Haruka’s language.
“I’m sorry for not reaching out sooner.” The words left him in a rush of breath. “I… was stuck in my head, thinking that maybe you would have reached out first. I was a coward and I should’ve texted you, or even better, visited you! I understand if what we had is now gone because of my cowardice. But if there’s any chance that you still feel the same way-!” He was effectively cut off by soft lips against his own, the voice died in his throat and Sousuke wasted no time in waiting. He grabbed Haruka by the back of his neck and waist and pulled him into his lap. He kissed Haruka back, trying to convey all of his feelings, all of his love, his regret, his apology in one kiss. He kissed Haruka like his life depended on it.
Haruka had one hand clutching Sousuke’s hair and the other on his shoulder, and Haruka was kissing back just as fiercely.
Eventually, they had to part for air.
“You talk too much.” And what could Sousuke do but laugh. He looked up at Haruka and saw a sight he committed to memory, a memory he would never let go off. Haruka was smiling . And he looked breathtaking. And Sousuke was a weak, weak man. So, he pulled Haruka back into a passionate kiss, which turned filthy really quickly. Their teeth clashed, tongues explored each other. Sousuke could feel his pants tighten and reluctantly he pulled away, both of them panting for breath.
“Well, at least now I can say for certain, you taste like mackerel.”
Haruka just slapped him upside the head.