Chapter Text
Dean doesn't want to talk about it.
This seems final and Sam doesn't quite know what to do. Dean says that Cas isn't coming back this time, and that's all he says. He says as if only he misses the angel and Sam likes to believe he's totally numb to this at this point after losing Castiel so damn many times and thinking it would be the last, but that's a lie he likes to tell himself. It's just blurry, like thick fog on a winter morning, but it's there – the love for Castiel. The faith that he can return, just as he did the last time when Jack was born, never leaves Sam. The pain is hollow now, there is no Jack for him to cling to. Jack was a responsibility that Cas had left last time and now he left nothing. It feels like Castiel didn't even exist here in the Bunker. He didn't have a room, Sam reminds himself. The angel always said there was no need, so now it's like he doesn't even exist. He's gone.
Dean is broken. He's broken this time like he's never seen him before and that scares Sam. Conformity has never been Dean's cup of tea, but it's troubling. Whatever happened in that dungeon something put Dean in a strange place. Maybe he feels responsible for the angel's death or maybe he's in love with Castiel, Sam can never figure out which one. As far as he knows it could be both. There's always been this enigmatic aura about their relationship. They fight as if they were lovers; Sam still remembers how much it took to talk to Castiel after that last fight. The way Dean didn't want to talk about – again like it was just their thing. Again like it didn't affect Sam and he wasn't worried as shit about the lack of response.
It was funny the way Castiel apologized when he got back. He said he hadn't replied to any of the messages because he was hurt and he went fishing and the reception was horrible when Dean told him to check the damn messages he wished he had done it sooner because Sam looked genuinely worried. He also said that he came back as soon as he saw Sam messages and he missed him and not just because Chuck was back. Sam found the sincerity adorable, it was more than he'd gotten from Dean who just walked around the Bunker with a big pout on his face.
Thinking about how he never had a chance with Castiel now that the angel is dead for what seems like forever is not the best use of his time. It never is , but it always ends up here in the shadow of the profound bond; overshadowed. Sam hates the way Dean acts exactly like he did the last time Cas died, the way he hints at that damn "You might be able to forget, but I can't" again, only in a different way, with different words, a different hostility.
Of course… I'll never be able to understand.
Silence is always a good answer as Dean would never understand and Sam doesn't feel he owes him an explanation so he just retreats into his grief. The pain that Castiel claimed to feel emanating from him. A pain that Castiel knew all too well, for they had shared it on a surreally intimate level. He always tried to stay close by, as this pain was imperceptible to everyone but Cas. The warmth of the angel's hand on his shoulder was sometimes enough to soothe whatever was wrong with him. It wasn't some angel mojo kicking in, it was just Cas. Just Cas being the best friend he could ever ask for.
Dean never talks about Castiel's last words. He says it was said to him and him alone and it feels like a betrayal to share something that Castiel held in his heart. He says that it was a very intense and intrinsic truth involving Jack and a deal with the Shadow and that was all Sam needed to know. 1+1=2, Sam is familiar with deals like this. Castiel seemed too unconcerned when he went to the Empty to find out where The Occultum was, it must be because the Empty wasn't going to take him before some specific deadline. It makes sense if anything makes sense about the way he went down.
Sam, unable to rest about it, runs after the dungeon footage. The sigil on the door hadn't gone unnoticed despite Dean trying to hide it from him that this was where Cas died. He was trying to clean it up before Sam saw it. After a sleepless night and whiskey in his blood that makes the impulsive part of his brain acts up. Dean was cleaning that door one of those nights and the only response Sam got was "Cas did that here to seal Billie out of the room". Sam latched on to that piece of information and just didn't ask any more questions.
He knows he shouldn't, but it's literally easy. If Dean didn't want him to snoop around, he should have thought about erasing the tape from the cameras. The security camera didn't record what was said, but he could see what happened. Castiel was saying several things, his back to the camera. Sam couldn't even appeal to Eileen's lip-reading skills. He shows her on one of those nights that she spends in the Bunker with him the only thing she could understand from Dean is "Why are you telling me this now?" and "Don't do that, Cas.". Dean lay on the dungeon floor crying in the corner where Cas threw him for two whole hours... Sam can get an idea why he can't talk about it, it was horrible to watch let alone live.
When Cas comes back, when they finally hear from Jack and what he's been up to while ignoring every prayer as a new God, Sam doesn't understand. The only thing Dean does when he sees Cas again is hug him for a few seconds, and pat him on the back and everything goes back to normal as if nothing had happened. Cas doesn't seem surprised or disappointed. There is only conformity written across his angelic face. The way Cas seems so used to it pisses Sam off, he deserves better for sure.
Jack was out of reach because he was trying to find a way to get Cas out of the Empty, even after promising that he would be a god without hands and also promising Cas that he wasn't going to try anything stupid. He says he was there for some time, a distorted time that seemed more like decades and after that he still needed to organize Heaven. According to Jack, Chuck had left the chaos. He said something about Amara helping him keep his balance or something. Sam just knows that he's glad that Jack and Cas are back, not definitely back, but at least Jack isn't completely gone and Cas after helping the boy in heaven is officially a retired angel. He spends more time in the Bunker now.
It's great because Dean's mood has changed from water to wine once Cas is back, but Dean still acts like he hasn't cried in a dungeon for hours and missed him like a bitch when he's gone. There's a tension that Sam can swear is sexual. Sam doesn't understand how he does it, how he manages to hide so much passion, and why he hides so much passion. Or maybe this is just me projecting my shit, Sam thinks, it wouldn't be too far out of the realm of extreme possibilities after all.
On one of those sleepless nights, Netflix and chill; Cas and Sam enjoy each other like old times when they had time. They were rare but cool, Castiel was always good company and Sam always grabbed tooth and nail what he could have from Cas, what he allowed…
— What happened between you and Dean? — Sam asks trying to sound casual as he scoops some popcorn off his lap.
— Nothing. — Castiel just responds by shrugging and frowning at him as if that was a weird question.
— Something happened, and he didn't tell me what happened the day you died. I don't understand… And there's this weird tension between you, not weird like you guys had a fight, but weird. — Sam answers back.
— Are you frustrated? — Cas asks turning to face Sam now.
— Yes, Dean keeps a lot for himself. Even the much he's missed you, I guarantee he'd like to be here with us right now, but lately, he's been pretending that going to the bar and hanging out with people is more fun... Enjoying his freedom, or whatever. — Sam responds with a snort of laughter, dismissing the words in the air.
— I see. — The angel just says, collecting himself a little shyly.
— You don't have to say it if you don't want to if it's something between you and Dean… — Sam starts and Cas soon cuts him off.
— I had a deal with the Empty. Jack was dead, we saved him, but the Empy wanted him anyway. So I made a deal. Dean is still pissed at me about it in some way. — Cas tells this part like he's tired of rehearsing it in his head.
— That part I know. — Sam responds.
— Oh. — It just says, half empty.
— What was the deal? — Sam asks, insisting a bit. He watches Castiel get a little uncomfortable at the memory and then says:
— He would come for me when I found my happiness. That thing knew everything, knew every inch of me... — He finally says and Sam can tell that Cas is far from fine about this, he tries to play it off, but the tension in his shoulders gives away everything he needs to know about Cas's encounters with the Empty.
— Happiness? — Sam asks curiously. Definitely, happiness is a rare thing to find in the life they live.
— Yes.
— How did you manage to find happiness in the midst of chaos? — Sam asks again, not understanding how it all worked. The pieces he has don't just make sense.
— Hmm… it was worth it, it was a good run. — Cas answers.
— What does that mean? You lost me there, Cas. — Sam looks for Cas's eyes that were kinda far away. He fix himself on the bed they were sitting on and paused the movie now. Castiel observes this and realizes that Sam wants his undivided attention so he gives it. Castiel doesn't mind having this conversation with Sam, it seems easy. He was always easier with Sam.
— It was the end of the line. Chuck had essentially won, but it was worth it. I found my family in the midst of chaos. We've never had a minute of peace in our lives since the first apocalypse. Because of Dean I was able to know and love you, be a father to Jack… I mean, I have almost everything I wanted in the end, it was worth it. — Cas responds with a smile on his face, mostly reflecting on himself. — The Empty made me question what happiness was and I came to some conclusions and realized that I already had enough to be grateful for. — The angel says now, looking at Sam. Looking up at him with a slight smile on his face that makes Sam question his sanity. He can't believe he's part of the things that make Cas happy, but that's basically what he's saying.
— What did you want? — He asks, still extremely curious.
— To live. — Castiel says — Telling people I love I love them, hearing it back. Live in peace and savor peace and monotony as we are doing now. I realized that it was impossible to have that. Chuck wouldn't allow it, but I already had the most important thing. — He says this with an even wider smile to Sam who narrows his eyes at him still in doubt if he should take it as a compliment the way he says this is monotonous and peaceful. — I told Dean I loved him that day… and now he's being weird, though. — Cas says frowning to himself now.
— He's not good with feelings. — Sam responds with a light laugh.
— Yeah… — Cas just says sadly.
— Neither of us are…but hey…I love you, it's good to have you back. — Sam finally works up the courage to say. It's been dying in his throat ever since Cas came back and since Cas just said that it's part of his happiness to hear and say these things he's going to play along with it a little bit.
— Thanks, Sam. I love you too. — Cas responds, a big smile on his face and his deep voice carrying the Winchester name with great emotion. — That's the appropriate response when a friend says that. Dean said something about "I don't swing that way" what's that even mean? I have a whole database of Metraton’s pop culture references and I still can't understand what Dean is saying sometimes. It's so frustrating... — Castiel is lost again in the profound bond and Dean suddenly becomes the topic of conversation. Sam tries to keep from rolling his eyes at this when he realizes he's halfway there. They were about to have a moment, Sam was about to think that maybe they were going somewhere after this, but this is the kind of empty hope he stopped fantasizing about a long time ago so he just laughs it off and answered.
— It means he thought your love was romantic. — He says patiently, his heart swells with affection for the angel when he does that thing. Sam can see the moment Cas's realization hits him and he learns something new.
— Oh, right, that makes sense. — Cas just says, staring at Sam, happy with his recent discovery.
— Are you...? in…love... — Sam asks curiously and just to finish killing something inside him right away.
— Hum…I don't know, Sam. It's complicated, I guess. The impulse is there, sure, but nothing ever happened. — Castiel answers with sincerity, with the sincerity of someone who has thought a lot about this subject. But he's lying, he's just keeping what Dean asked for: No one will know, after all, he made a promise a long time ago.
— That wasn’t the answer I was hoping for. I thought you two already…you know. — Sam says and Cas turns to him again.
— Seriously? — He asks, eyebrows rising in surprise.
— You two are intense with each other. You seem like a married couple for years sometimes. — Sam says that thing he always wanted to say but kept to himself. He doesn't even know why he hasn't had this conversation sooner with Cas, it feels so natural.
— Um…it's more like a couple married for years that should get divorced, but ok. — Cas responds bitterly, mocking it lightly.
— That was…accurate. — Sam answers back, eliciting a wide smile from both of them.
— It is the truth. — Cas just says seriously now, shrugging. — Dean never gave me an opening for that, it's just stupid that anyone would think that. It's the kind of thing angels and demons say just to tease me. I would have noticed, right? If he had given me an opening? — Cas asks, making Sam laugh some more.
— I guess…I don't know. — Sam replies not being able to contain a laugh. — Did he ever ask you to enjoy some Netflix and Chill in his bed? — Sam teases and puts a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He watches Cas's gears turn inside his head and he responds.
— You two… did that. — He replies hesitantly, glaring at Sam. He stares at him like he's had another realization and Sam laughs. He won't say he wasn't trying to imply anything by that, he'll just let Cas sweat it out for a second longer.
— I mean, “Netflix and chill” for real. — He does air quotes making Cas laugh — Did he ever make the environment conducive for something to happen? Doors closed, lights off, beers… — Sam starts describing their current scenario as he reaches for his beer on the bedside table and watches Cas stutter something. Sam at this point demonstrates, exemplifying what he means. He pretends he's going to yawn and ends up with one of his arms around Cas's shoulders.
— You're messing with me… — Castiel says, chuckling softly. Sam just replies:
— That's the charm of Netflix and Chill, you never know until you start making out for real. — He simply shrugs, leaving Cas with more questions than answers. Sam withdraws his arm to himself now, but not before brushing the tips of his fingers lightly on the angel's scalp gently. He loves the way Cas is looking at him right now with a million questions. If Sam were any more foolish he could have sworn this right here was Cas showing interest and weighing his chances while for a millisecond staring at his lips contemplating the possibility of a kiss, but he knows better than to kid himself about that at this point in his life.
— May I ask you two questions? — Cas interrupts the silence when Sam was about to hit the play again when Cas just looked like he was going to go silent
— Shoot. — Sam just says as he captures another popcorn nonchalantly.
— That was a long time ago and you may not even remember, it was a dark period of our lives. — Cas begins hesitantly. — When I betray you and your brother. — He says and Sam is curious as to what the point of sailing so far now will be.
— We are way beyond that, Cas, but ok… Ask me. — He says with a slight smile.
— Your brother referred to you as Lois Lane in a scenario where I was Superman going to the dark side. — He just says and waits, but finishes by saying — Since I understood the implications of that, I was intrigued, but it never seemed like a good time…until now. — He says and Sam immediately laughs, embarrassed, he can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.
— He was just being silly. I had a crush on you back then. — Sam answers honestly, why not? It's not like he was going to change anything.
Sam can see that Cas doesn't know what to make of this information, as expected. He does something unexpected, however, and it catches Sam's attention when he gently flicks a lock of hair. He tries to approach, hesitantly, checking if he really should. For a moment it looks like Cas is going to aim for his lips and Sam is ready to just let it happen. The two realize this moment. Cas smiles and sweetly kisses one of Sam's cheeks, though. Sam feels the place Cas kissed burn. Sam hates how he loves this as he smiles sheepishly at Cas. He feels butterflies in his stomach that has been dead since he got a kiss like that from Jessica when she was still just a girl he liked.
— That's what I've wanted to do since I understood what it meant. — He says sweetly cutting the silence that settled with a slightly shy smile on his face. Sam could have sworn he saw Cas blush, but angels don't blush.
— It was a long time ago, I don't…anymore. — Sam stumbles over his words, he can't sound convincing even to Cas. He doesn't seem to take it seriously for a second. Sam would like to know why the angel is bringing this up.
— Can I kiss you on the lips? To test if there is any spark left? — Cas asks with a slight cocky smile on his lips. Sam stutters and laughs.
— You don't want to go there, Cas. — Sam's smile dies on his lips. — What you really want is my brother. — He says, trying not to sound bitter, just honest.
— Yeah… sure… — Cas says uncertainly, staring at him in a way Sam never notices because he's too preoccupied with wallowing in his own disgrace. — He is my destiny, after all. — Cas says, his voice kind of resigned. Sam furrows his brows, confused as he looks at Cas now, who is no longer looking at him, just lost in thought.
— Destiny? — He asks, confused, furrowing his brows.
— My destiny, my mission, my responsibility. You pick. — Cas just says — Of course, I deviated from the path Chuck wrote for me, but Dean will always be an itch I can't scratch. — He says these words and Sam furrows his brows and says,
— Wow, romantic. — Irony does not go unnoticed by either.
— Very. — Cas replies, snorting a humorless laugh. — As you know, we fight for free will, and you suggest I pursue my destiny. Does that make sense to you? — He asks sincerely. Sam laughs and goes unresponsive.
— Oh, come on… You two are so much more than that. — Sam makes an observation.
— Are we? Because I came back from the Empty after what was supposed to be my last death and Dean isn't here with me, you are . He wanted all the things I said to remain unsaid. You want to be my Lois Lane to my Superman and you holding back. — Cas says honestly, even he doesn't know why he decided to be so honest today. He may have been reading this whole night wrong, but he's decided he doesn't care anymore, as apparently he's read Dean wrong too.
— I just had a crush on you a million years ago, Cas… — Sam replies laughing and shaking his head, incredulous that they're even having this conversation. — It wasn't even a crush, it was just me being an angel fangirl. — Sam says looking at Cas now that he narrows his eyes in his direction and says.
— You don't feel anything anymore then? — He asks seriously, dismissing the whole situation just as Sam is trying to do with his words right now.
— It's silly, Cas… — And before Sam can say anything else, Cas leans in for that kiss.
Sam wants to cut it short, tell him it's wrong and pointless and he's no one's second choice, but Cas's kiss is sweet and needy. Dean is going to kill me is one of the last coherent thoughts that runs through Sam's head as Cas slips his tongue on his. He kisses him back and is pretty sure he's just as fucked up as he was all those years ago. The butterflies in his stomach now pirouette and hit the walls in a frenzy. He's sure Cas can hear his heart pounding because he can almost feel it in his throat now.
— You were right… — Cas says when he abruptly breaks the kiss. — You don't feel a thing. — He says wryly with a smile that makes Sam sigh. He scratches his head nervously and thanks God there's a bucket of popcorn in his lap disguising the fact that the situation in his jeans just got tighter.
Cas squints at Sam's crotch. He clears his throat and arranges the popcorn bucket in his lap, but he knows it's pointless trying to hide it. Sam has read enough angel lore to know that they hear the flow of blood in a human body and have a sense of smell 10,000 times more acute than a dog's, and that was just an estimate. So when Cas fills the air and says popcorn smells wonderful and buttery he's talking about the smell of sex from the dick that leaks pre-cum inside Sam's underwear.
— I was going to tell you to try it, but you always say the smell is always better than the taste. — Sam just says, sly enough to make Cas smirk at him.
— Yes, some things are just overwhelming but the more organic the better. Your tongue is delicious, I bet the same is true about your... — Cas doesn't finish the sentence, he just demonstrates with his gaze what he means. Sam squirms in his seat as his spine tingles at Cas's explicit innuendos. He clears his throat nervously and looks at Cas now and asks:
— Why? Why are you doing this now? — He asks anxiously and almost impatiently.
— Because I can. — He just says.
There's a lot left unsaid in that sentence. Sam isn't sure if Cas is referring to peace for a real living now that Chuck is no longer a part of it or because Dean has clearly rejected him. Sam is not sure he's supposed to enjoy the attention. In fact, he's sure he should value himself more right now. Sam should be with Eileen now, she had asked him for a date and he lied saying that he had already plans with Cas right here. He should be focusing on her and making things serious with her and not getting into this whirlwind of doubt. She doesn't bring up that kind of questioning, she's transparent, and she doesn't have anyone else in her life. Sam wanted that to be enough for him.
But is not…
What he wants is what he does next. He takes the popcorn bucket off his lap. He places it on the bedside table. Cas exchanges a narrow questioning look with him, as he can probably feel the moment the blood swells in his cock a little more in anticipation. Sam undoes the button on his jeans and pulls down his zipper enough to let his erection free. He doesn't take his eyes off Cas as he does this while the angel doesn't take his eyes off his crotch and stares with half-parted lips. Sam pulls on the waistband of his boxers with one hand and fishes for his semi-hard cock with the other. He caresses himself briefly, making him completely hard in a matter of seconds. He doesn't think he should be so pleased with the way Cas stares at him in shock right now, but he is.
— Take it. — Sam has barely finished saying it and Castiel is already leaning in to take it on his tongue.
Sam sighs hard as he feels the contact of the hot tongue capturing the drops of pre-cum that well up there. He strokes the angel's hair gently as he figures out the best way to taste it without bumping his teeth. The angel clearly has no experience with this, but that matters little to nothing to Sam's needy cock hardening even more in Cas's mouth.
— Open your mouth and relax. — Sam instructs and the angel immediately does so. Both discover at that moment that Cas has no gag reflex. Easily it is deep in the angel's throat. Gently, with care and adoration, Sam holds Cas's head in place. He only interrupts this briefly to tell Sam:
— You really do taste delicious. — The angel says while looking for a sloppy kiss, his voice drunk with pleasure, he smiles languidly at Sam who just says:
— I'm almost there. — It's almost an urgent demand that Sam tries politely to demonstrate. Castiel is genuinely taken aback by this, Sam can see the incredulous glint in him as Cas immediately widens his eyes and goes back to working his cock with his mouth and throat.
Sam at this point gets a little more demanding and greedy, for the first time in his life he takes something for himself. Blame it on the fact that Castiel can't choke and he couldn't really hurt an angel, he firmly holds Cas's head in place and fucks his throat fearlessly. Cas just lets it, as it seems to please Sam in an interesting way, the firm cock pulsates and breaks free. He can taste the perfect bittersweet taste of Sam's come so he cares little for the slight discomfort of it. He just lets that body choke on it near the end, to bring some humanity to the moment. Sam immediately asks if he's okay as Cas wipes away with the back of his hand some spit mixed with cum that got on his lips at the end.
— Fine, don't worry. — Castiel just says pulling Sam in for another kiss. Sam can taste his own taste on Cas's lips, he doesn't want to, not a fan of it so he pulls back from the kiss and holds Cas in place. The angel gets this confused rejection until Sam clears it up.
— I don't like to taste myself, sorry. — He says with a light chuckle and Cas just smiles sheepishly, if he's upset by the interruption he doesn't show it, but Sam could swear he saw it when the angel looks away from him to go back to his side of the bed.
— That was good. — He says while looking at the television and from the corner of his eyes he watches Sam arrange his clothes on his body.
— It was… — He says casually, with a slight chuckle as if this wasn't the best blowjob he's ever received in his life.
They are awkwardly silent now. Sam doesn't know what he should do next. He feels like he should help Cas out with his situation too or something, but the angel looks cool sitting next to him like that never even happened. He tries to capture his attention and when he notices that Sam is staring at him he looks confused.
— You...you want me to...? — He doesn't know what to ask and how. Cas laughs and settles his hands on his groin trying to hide the fact that he has an erection there for some reason. As if the fact that he was indulging in the mundane pleasures of the flesh was shameful. Sam finds it ironic and curious how embarrassed he is now after he's just swallowed cock like a pro.
— I'm fine, you don't have to. — Sam just ignores Cas's shy protest and just looks for his tea belt. He doesn't see the angel protest anymore when he watches what Sam is doing now, though. He just shuts up and watches Sam unzip his pants and reach for his cock. — I'm not sure if I should use this body like this, it's not entirely mine. — He finally says what the problem is with shyness. Sam stared at him in surprise and stopped his search for Cas's dick midway.
— There's only you there now, your angel's blood runs through the veins of that body. It's yours. — Sam states categorically with enough confidence to get his attention — But what do I know, I used that same excuse to fuck a demon... — He says internally breaking this moment and immediately remembering his current reality. He's dirty and shouldn't even be allowed to touch an angel, not even if that angel is fallen and corrupted like Castiel.
The mention of Ruby in conversation seems to make Cas tense as hell. And be the thing that ends up making that hard-on he had between his legs disappear. Sam can't blame him, he just recoils. And so they remain silent. Until Castiel breaks the silence.
— I hate Ruby. She had you in every way possible and there was nothing you could have done to stop her at the time. — He says firmly, the anger in his voice clear as water. — And I had my role in that, my job was to make the apocalypse happen. I freed you, so you could go after her. — He says all these things in anger at himself and Sam can feel it.
— You were a different angel back then. I knew it was some angel who free me that day, so I felt like I was doing the right thing. That's in the past, Cas... It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter that you decided to rebel only when Dean's ass was on the line, what matters is that it's over. — Sam says this trying not to sound bitter or jealous.
— You think this was just about Dean? — He asked in disbelief and shock, almost offended, sick. — It was about the two of you. It was because of what he said about needing to get to you, about what a family really is, about what was worth dying for. It's not that simple, it's not that black and white… I know it's useless to say this now, but I almost broke, I almost didn't… I almost didn't let you go to Ruby. — He says, his eyes glistening now with tears, or the beginnings of something like that, Sam can't tell.
— This last time...Would you have died for me too? If it was me there with you instead of Dean. — Sam isn't sure why he's asking this or if he'd even want to hear the answer, but…
— I could definitely try. You are the father of my child, it wouldn't be difficult to find the words. — Castiel smiles sweetly. — It would be easy, Sam… I would die so easily for you. — He says it like it's not the most disturbing thing to say, but it somehow makes sense with the lives they lead. — I was just sure everything I told Dean was true because you believe it's true. I doubted there, for a second, that he was actually a good man when he looked so willing to sacrifice Jack. — Cas snorts a humorless laugh and Sam silently agrees with him.
— He had said Jack wasn't family. — Sam says, venting that.
— I know, Jack told me. — Castiel says wistfully. — And I still think he thinks Jack was just a means to an end, but I try not to think about that. — Castiel says retreating in his sadness.
— Yeah… I try too. — Sam answers honestly.
— I would have let all of humanity be obliterated if it meant Jack didn't have to live the life he does now. It would be the end, I was prepared for the end, but I wasn't prepared for this…. — Cas says.
— Me too. — Sam just agrees right away. And they exchange a look now, one of extreme understanding. As if they know they're the only two people in the universe who feel this way. Castiel smiles sweetly once more and Sam smiles back, painfully.