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In early September, Darcy and Tara got into a fight. It was a complete shitshow and somehow it felt like the world had ended. Charlie doesn’t know everything that went down, except that it ended with Tara screaming “I’ll fucking get out of your life then, Darcy, if you want me gone that badly!”, then storming out the door and going straight to the airport to go to Uganda for her planned placement to research for her master’s degree.
The only reason Charlie even knows this is because it took place at Darcy, Tara and Nick’s flat, and Nick happened to be a witness to all of it. “She ran out the door, and I could see that she was crying, but she was too fast for me to catch up to her,” Nick recounts the next day at lunch, clearly miserable to see his two best friends in such a bad fight.
Then he had grabbed Charlie’s hand across the table and Charlie had to remind himself that this was Nick looking for friendly support, and to not let himself read into it or get his hopes up. Nick clearly needed his support right now, and it wasn’t his problem that Charlie was so completely and utterly in love with him. He patted Nick’s hand in what he hoped seemed like a friendly manner, resigning himself to his pining. Why would Nick ever want to be with him when he could have anybody he wanted?
Darcy then goes on to lock herself in her room for two days, and the only sound that can be heard is the sad music she is blasting on full volume. Charlie wasn’t even aware that Darcy knew who Sufjan Stevens was, let alone that she’d listen to him whilst being miserable in her bedroom. A day later she emerges, her hair is a mess, and she is smiling, but there’s something off about it, like it’s a rubber band just waiting to snap. She then proceeds to drag Nick off the couch and promising him the most exciting day of his life.
*********************************
“I just don’t get it,” Charlie says, as an exhausted Nick collapses onto Charlie and Tao’s sofa later that night. “How did she force you to go parachuting? Did she have handcuffs? Does she have blackmail on you? Where is she keeping your nudes?”
Nick rolls his eyes with a soft smile. “No, you idiot. She’s just sort of broken up with her girlfriend and I just want to support her whatever way she wants and needs. I’m just trying to be there for her. She’s all smiling and goofing, but I know she’s hurting and just not letting it show.”
“Well, have you considered talking to her? Isn’t it better to talk about your feelings rather than fling yourself out of an airplane?”
“I’m just no good at it.” Nick groans “I can’t even talk about my own feelings, how am I supposed to know what to say to her? Her and Tara have always been the ones on my case about feelings and urging me to just tell…” Nick stops his sentence abruptly, and for some reason he glances at Charlie somewhat painfully, coughs, and hastily carries on. “Darcy’s like completely unhinged right now. She doesn’t want to talk, she wants to forget and we should all help her with that. When she eventually does want to talk, then we’ll be there to listen.”
“I just don’t know if that’s the right way to go about it,” Charlie says softly, patting Nick on the head. (And if his touch lingers just a little bit too long to be completely friendly, he just justifies it with the shitty day Nick’s had. Nick’s face has gone all red now too, and Charlie really hopes he hasn’t gotten sunburned from today’s activities.)
“Someone has got to sit down and talk with her,” Charlie says. “And I know exactly who to ask.”
*********************************
In the end it seems that even Elle isn’t ready for the complete nightmare that is Darcy, The heart that was broken: No mending in sight.
Elle arrives at Darcy and Nick’s door the following Friday with gin and mixers, homemade biscuits, and that beautiful Elle Argent smile. She’s barely stepped foot inside before Darcy is dragging her back outside and taking her to an all night rave party at some university Elle doesn’t even remember the name of.
The next day she shows up to movie night at Charlie and Tao’s, looking worse than Charlie’s ever seen her. She’s pale and her hair is still full of glitter, despite her obvious effort in trying to clean it out. She drops on the sofa next to Tao, resting her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder, looking like she’s two seconds away from lulling away for a nap.
“I am never trying to help anyone ever again,” she mutters, sounding as though just speaking is too much at the moment. Tao wraps his arm securely around her and just smiles down at her.
“Just Darcy or people in general?” Imogen asks, placing the snacks on the table and taking the seat next to Charlie.
He tries to hide his disappointment at her choice of seat. He loves Imogen, it’s just that..there was a certain someone else he had been saving the seat for. As if on cue, Nick enters the room, looks around, eyes landing on Imogen. He frowns, looking slightly disappointed for a second, before smiling again and moving along to take one of the chairs. Charlie probably imagined Nick’s disappointment, as he was probably just projecting his own feelings. There’s was no reason for Nick to be disappointed by not getting to sit next to Charlie.
“People in general,” Elle says, gloomily. “It’s simply not worth it. Life is meaningless.”
Charlie leans across Imogen and shoves his crisps at her. She clearly needs them badly.
“Nick,” Tao says, looking completely taken aback. “Darcy has broken my girlfriend.”
Nick just laughs. “She’s not that bad, she just needs us all to humour her a little. Can’t you guys just do that? She would do it for you, no actually, she has done it, many times.”
Elle proceeds to shove crips forlornly into her mouth and looking like a shell of herself.
“If she wants some fun, just give her it,” Nick says, casually placing a new packet of crisps into Charlie’s now empty hands. “Can’t you just go along with it to help her through a completely shit time?”
“Why are you guys even complaining,” Imogen laughs, slapping Elle’s arm with a cheeky grin “Parachuting is fun. Raves are fun. You want me to take care of Darcy next? It sounds like a fucking blast!”
“The goal is to help Darcy open up about how she is feeling, though,” Charlie reminds her gently.
Imogen smirks at him. “Pfft, I’ll get her to open up in no time! You’ll see, my little grasshopper”
*********************************
On Wednesday, Imogen calls Charlie, demanding that he must come to her flat. He can’t make out all she’s saying, but she sounds quite worked up and mentions Darcy’s name several times. He catches her just as she’s about to head into her flat and does a double take when he takes in her appearance. She is dripping wet and shivering and when she sees him she starts shouting. “That fucking lunatic,” she says, shoving past Charlie into the flat, “has fucking tried to drown me.”
Charlie manages to calm Imogen down enough so that she’s able to tell the whole story. Apparently Imogen had gotten Darcy to admit she was “possibly not feeling very good”. That was as far as they’d gotten, because then Darcy had taken Imogen out canoeing.
“She had never canoed before!” Imogen cries, while Charlie tries to help her dry out her hair. “Were you aware of that, Charlie? That she can’t fucking canoe?”
“Well, yes…” Charlie says reluctantly. He has never once heard Darcy talk about going canoeing before.
“But I wasn’t aware of that,” Imogen continues. “Or else I wouldn’t haven agreed to go canoeing with her!”
“Why did you agree to it?” Charlie asks carefully, trying not to agitate her further.
“I thought maybe it would be a good opportunity to talk calmly about FEELINGS,” Imogen yells, and Charlie can’t help but laugh a little, even though seeing Imogen like this is kind of scary. She’s normally not one to lose her temper.
“Well,” Charlie says, trying to provide some rationality to the situation, “At least you wouldn’t have actually drowned. She made you wear a vest right? Darcy might be unhinged, but she’s not like actively trying to kill you.”
“No, I suppose.” Imogen concedes, falling back against the cushions and looking exhausted. Charlie feels really bad for her.
On his way to the bus, Charlie texts Nick, because that’s just what he always does, ok? Whenever something happens, Nick is always the first one he texts or calls. He used to worry about it and how it looked, but Nick also texts him all the time. Friends are allowed to text. Check mate.
Charlie
Maybe we should just go with what Darcy says?
At least for a time until she calms down…
Nick
That’s what I’ve been saying. She doesn’t need us telling her to talk about her feelings, she needs us doing whatever it is she needs to do.
Charlie
Only for a little while though
I’m worried about you
You’re the most endangered because you’re her flatmate
Don’t let her kill you or something.
I can just picture you allowing Darcy to murder you whilst saying “but she needs this”
Have you heard from Tara yet?
Nick
Hahah, that won’t happen, Darcy’s a good egg
No, she hasn’t been returning my calls or answering my texts
Are you still at Imogen’s?
Charlie
Nah, I’m walking to the bus
Nick
Do you want me to drive you home?
Charlie looks down at his phone, fighting off a smile. Nick’s always so considerate and caring and it makes Charlie practically giddy..it’s just so easy to get the wrong idea. He needs to focus and not get swept away. Besides, he had already declined a ride home from Imogen’s flatmate, James.
Charlie
Thank you! I’ll just take the bus. James already offered to drive me, so I’m taking the bus by choice
Nick
Oh, James was there?
Charlie
Yeah, he joined us after a while.
He actually made me some really good gin and tonics and later he offered to drive me home.
He’s always so nice
Nick
Yeah, I bet he is
Anyway, I’m hopping in the shower
Text when you get home? :)
Charlie frowns at the abrupt end to the conversation, but can’t for the life of him figure out what he said for Nick to cut the conversation short. He’s a little worried that Nick’s mad at him, but when he texts him when arrives back home, Nick’s replies enthusiastically and their conversation continues with lots of banter and no awkwardness. Charlie falls asleep with a smile on his face.
*********************************
During the following week, there’s a shaky peace. Nick reports that Darcy, who’s still attending her classes, seems to be doing a little better, and that she hasn’t been out doing anything crazy or dragging one of their friends along for an adventure.
However, the next Thursday night, after Charlie has sent Nick home from one of their Parks & Recreation marathons, Charlie wakes up to someone pounding on the door to his flat.
“Are you ready?” Darcy asks, smiling widely, just as Charlie opens the door. There are lots of questions Charlie wants to ask, but he’s so tired and he doesn’t want to wake Tao by talking too loud in the hall. Also, Darcy is quite terrifying like this. There’s something wrong about her smile, as if she’s barely holding it together, willing her smile not to break. He’s worried about her and doesn’t want to send her away. So, he follows Darcy to her car, wearing only his sleeping shorts and a t-shirt.
It’s only ten minutes into the drive that Charlie realises how stupid he’s been. First, he’s forgotten his phone by his bed, so he can’t even text Nick about this. Secondly, he should’ve brought a jumper or something because it’s actually quite chilly outside. Thirdly, he’s just gotten into the car with a girl who, albeit being one of his best friends and an amazing person, is not in a good state of mind at the moment.
“Alright, Darce?” Charlie asks, trying not to sound like he’s worried. “Can you tell me where we’re going?”
“London,” Darcy answers simply, like that is a completely normal thing to say at 23:56 on a Thursday night.
Charlie sighs, burying his head in his hands. “It’ll take us hours to get there.”
“Yeah.”
‘Why can’t you just call your girlfriend and make things right? Charlie thinks, squeezing his eyes shut and groaning. No, this is alright. He can do this. Darcy just needs to let it all out. Charlie can help her with that.
“Why are we going to London?” he asks, both with curiosity and exasperation.
“You won’t know until we get there,” Darcy singsongs smilingly, and if Charlie didn’t know her as well as he did, he would’ve actually thought that she was about to drive him somewhere and murder him.
But he knows Darcy really well, and he’s certain that Darcy probably isn’t so upset with Tara that she would resolve to massacre one of their best friends. Also, he’s kind of trapped in the car, so he’s really got no other choice than to tag along for the ride and hope they both make it out alive. He leans his head against the window, and within few minutes, he’s asleep.
*********************************
When he wakes up, Charlie for a second thinks that they’ve made it to London. But then he notices that it’s completely dark outside and that they are stopped on the side of the road. Also, Darcy isn’t in her seat. Charlie scrambles out of the door and walks around to the hood of the car. There he finds Darcy on all four in the dirt with her head in her hands, muttering frantically.
Charlie softens, thinking that Darcy’s finally has accepted what happened and that she’s taking it in, that she’s finally ready to confront her feelings and start talking. But then Darcy looks up at him, an awkward apologetic smile on her face, as she says, “I can’t get the car to start again.”
Charlie’s jaw hits the floor. “Are you fucking kidding?”
“Nah.” Darcy glares at the car like it’s failed her on purpose. “I need to jumpstart it.”
“And do you have the equipment for that?” Charlie asks. Darcy shakes her head, and Charlie’s heart plummets.
“Fucking fantastic,” he grumbles quietly, because even in this shit situation he doesn’t have it in him to shout at her. “What were you even thinking, Darce? We are stuck in the middle of nowhere! Where the fuck even are we?”
“We’re like an hour outside of Leeds,” Darcy says, looking apologetic. “Is there someone you can call?”
“No, I can’t call anybody. I haven’t got my phone.” he says, then adds somewhat desperately “Please tell me you have got you phone? Please, Darcy, please tell me you have yours.”
“I do have mine,” Darcy says. She’s avoiding looking him in the eye. “It’s just…just that…it’s only got 3 % left.”
Charlie is barely resisting the urge to yell at her. He needs to keep calm. This situation won’t get any better by him losing his temper, and this was somewhat his own fault for getting in the car with this mess of a girl in the first place. He knew she wasn’t doing good, but he still went along with it. Maybe they should’ve just tried to get her to talk. Maybe that would’ve saved him from this whole experience. If Nick were here he would probably say something along the lines of ‘if this is what she needs, just give it to her’ because Nick is the kind of person who would offer someone the shirt off his back, even if it meant himself dying or whatever.
“Alright,” Charlie huffs, keeping his voice steady. “Then use the last of it to call someone to come help us.”
Darcy nods. She stands up and fishes her phone out of her pocket. She dials a number, then hangs up like 30 seconds later.
“Didn’t pick up.”
“It’s like one in the middle of the night. Just try again”
“But I don’t think Imogen will answer when she sees it’s me,” Darcy admits, peering down at her phone.
“Imogen? Why are you calling her? Of course she won’t answer after your drowning attempt.”
Darcy types in a new number, then grimaces.
“Seems like Elle is ignoring me.” Her lip trembles
“Yeah,” Charlie says softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. He understands why they would be avoiding her, but he still feels for Darcy. “I just think they need some time, you know?”
Darcy glances at her phone for about half a minute, as if she’s trying to solve a particularly hard puzzle or something, and then looks up at Charlie, a hopeful expression on her face.
“Does Tao have a car?”
Charlie throws his hands up in frustration and confusion. “You wanna know if Tao has—no, Tao doesn’t have a car! He doesn’t even have a license! You’re well aware of this, he’s failed it three times, you even created a Facebook group just to tease him about it! Why are we ignoring the obvious choice? For fuck’s sake, why aren’t you calling Nick already?”
Darcy bites her lip nervously, looking positively ill at the thought. “I really have no choice, huh?”
Charlie folds his arms, looking at her huffily. “Nick will come. Nick would get up in the middle of the night to help you, he’s your safest bet. He’s the one who all this time have put up with your antics and just told us to do whatever we must to help you be happy, even though you made him cry by forcing him to do a parachute jump! Nick was like actually scared for his life, but he thought it was worth it as long as you were happier. He’s done all that, and never once complained, so why wouldn’t he come help you now?”
“I know, it’s just that…” Darcy glances meaningfully at Charlie, then groans and picks up her phone again, starting to dial. “He’ll kill me.”
Charlie feels as though he’s missed something. If Nick accepted Darcy forcing him out of an airplane, then why would he be mad about this? It makes no sense.
“Nick, my boy, hey. Um, yeah it’s kinda late, I know…Look, I’m stuck by the road like an hour outside of Leeds. No no, I’m okay, I promise, I just wanted to go for a ride. My car just died and I don’t know what to do…oh you’re an angel. I think it’ll take you like an hour to get here. Yeah yeah, I’ll do that.”
Charlie doesn’t know what Darcy was so worried about. Nick offered to come without her even having to ask. Right at that moment, Darcy glances at him with a look he can’t quite decipher. Then she grimaces, looking like she’s steeling herself for something.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you! Charlie and I will wait in the car in the meantime…” Darcy sort of rushes with the last part of the sentence. And then Charlie hears shouting from the other end of the phone, but he can’t make out what Nick is saying, only that he’s saying it loudly and angrily. And at that moment, Darcy’s phone decides to call it a night and switches off, cutting off Nick Nelson’s angry rant.
It's silent for a few seconds, before Darcy says casually, as though she hasn’t just been shouted at by the human equivalent of a golden retriever: “So, Nick is coming.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured.”
Darcy looks at him, noticing how underdressed he is. She looks panicked. “Fuck, we need to get inside the car, it’s so cold out here and you’re not wearing much.”
It is fucking cold actually, and Charlie really wants to know what Nick was shouting about. But there’s something different about Darcy now, like her guard has been lowered, and Charlie’s worried that if he doesn’t act on it now, that the guard will just come back up and this will all have been for nothing. He looks at her determinedly, his eyes boring into her, willing her to open up and just talk.
“Darcy, can you please just be honest with me and tell me that you’re in pain?”
“I’m all good.”
“No, you’re obviously not all good. You just woke me up in the middle of the night, dragging me with you to drive to London, refusing to tell me what we’re even doing there and just forcing me along. It’s crazy behaviour, that’s what it is. If that’s you all good, I’d hate to see you when things aren’t good.”
Darcy’s eyes are wide, and Charlie notices her lip tremble and the tears glistening in the corners of her eyes “I’m sorry, Charlie. I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, you weren’t.” Darcy is now full-on trembling before him, looking too much like a kicked puppy for Charlie to stay mad at her. He just wants to help his friend, help her get herself together and to help her be happy again, whatever that entails. “Darcy,” he says, softly, placing his hand on her arm gently. “We’re all so worried about you. Are you alright?”
Darcy takes a long time to answer, just looks up, blinking back the tears that are coming. Then, gradually, she shakes her head and dissolves into tears.
Charlie wraps her in his arms, rubbing her back soothingly. “Thank you for being honest, I know it’s never easy”
*********************************
When they’ve seated themselves in the back of the car, Darcy finally starts speaking. She’s using short sentences, and won’t look Charlie in the eye, but she reluctantly explains that Tara had been offered to have a longer placement in Uganda than the 1 month that she’s away for, and that Tara had turned it down. Darcy elaborates that she was so scared that Tara had declined it because of their relationship and that she felt she was holding Tara back from amazing opportunities.
“So, what? You dumped her?” Charlie asks after Darcy’s done explaining.
Darcy winces. “Not really…”
“You made her break up with you by being unbearable?”
Darcy starts picking at her nails and says nothing, which is all the answer Charlie needs.
“Darcy,” Charlie says, “This is Tara’s life, and she can make those decisions herself. And she’s good at making them. If her choice was to not accept, then why do you martyr yourself like this? You’re only making both of you miserable.”
“Yeah, I was just so worried that she’d wake up one day and realise that I was the reason why she never achieved her dreams or something, and that she wouldn’t love me anymore and come to resent me.” Darcy’s crying again now, and Charlie grabs her hand and squeezes it.
“Just talk to her. Explain why you did what you did. It’s not too late to make things right, this doesn’t need to be the end of you two, but you have to be brave and explain your fears to her.”
Darcy manages a weak smile and Charlie smiles encouragingly back at her. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Charlie laughs. “Good. Because we, your friends, have been driven crazy.”
Darcy laughs, too, and Charlie feels as sense of peace settle over him. He’s not annoyed with Darcy anymore, not at all. He knows what it’s like to love someone you feel that you will never deserve, he knows how hopeless it all can feel. Charlie only hopes that Darcy will explain to Tara and that Tara will understand. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if those two don’t work it out. Tara’s only been gone for two weeks, and life already sucks without her. Not just because of Darcy’s crazy behaviour, but simply from the lack of Tara Jones in their lives. Darcy might need her the most, but the rest of them need her too.
“So, what were you planning?” Charlie asks, turning to look at Darcy. “You know, for London?”
Darcy smiles a small smile and Charlie’s fucking happy he’s managed to get the first real Darcy smile in weeks. “I was planning we go to the zoo and feed the penguins.”
Charlie gapes. That was certainly not what he expected to hear. “Huh?”
Darcy rubs the back of her neck. “Yup, I read that the London Zoo has its own penguin beach. I thought we’d get there early when there are fewer people, so that we would be first in line to feed them.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Charlie is laughing so hard. “That is so…” He stops, blinking. “Wait, Darcy, that’s so nice.”
Darcy shrugs. “Well, I know how much you love penguins so...”
“I do! I mean, I could do without the kidnapping and the breakdown of the car, but that actually sounds like a good trip.”
And then he’s finally understanding.
“Jesus Christ,” Charlie says, shaking Darcy’s shoulder. “Have all the things you’ve done been about being nice? The canoeing?”
“Imogen’s talked about how she wanted to learn to canoe.”
“And what about the rave?”
Darcy’s voice is small. “Elle loves to dance.” And then she huffs. “And Nick has always talked about wanting to parachute jump one day, so I really don’t get why he started crying.”
“Because he was basically kidnapped and given no time to prepare himself mentally for it, you were just like ‘it’s today’ and then he felt like he had no choice.” Charlie cries, but he’s laughing so hard that it’s impossible to sound mad or scolding. There is something just so Darcy about trying to ignore her broken heart by gifting her friends with adventures that she cocks up so much that it leaves them traumatised instead.
“I love you,” he says instead, happily squeezing Darcy’s shoulder. “We all love you, and we want only the best for you. And you’re a proper menace.”
Darcy laughs softly.. “I know,” she says. “I really am sorry. I’ve been completely unhinged.”
Charlie grins. “There’s nothing to forgive. Just Darcy being Darcy.”
Darcy giggles. “Yeah.” Suddenly the car is lit up by light coming from behind and Darcy suddenly looks scared. “Charlie? You know I would never put you in danger on purpose, right?”
“Obviously.”
“Good. Could you maybe tell Nick that? Because he’s here to murder me.”
Charlie’s about to ask what she’s talking about, but then then there is a car stopping behind theirs. Darcy looks a little nervous before moving to exit the car. A figure is approaching them with quick steps, shouting.
“FUCKING HELL, DARCY!”
From inside the car, Charlie can see Darcy putting her hands up, saying something that Charlie can’t make out. He quickly steps out of the car, confused at what all the commotion is about.
“Just listen…” Darcy is saying, but it’s almost completely drowned out by Nick Nelson’s repeated cry of, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
Charlie has never seen Nick like this, has never heard him shout with anger at anybody, really. But here he is, cursing out Darcy like some madman. What is even happening?
“Hey, hey!” Charlie says, rounding the car and moving towards the pair. Nick turns to him, quickly, and he can’t quite make out his features in the dark, but he’s clearly furious.
“Are you alright?” Nick asks, in a slightly lower voice. Charlie, in a mix of shock and confusion, can only nod, but obviously Nick doesn’t see the this because now he is shouting again, “Charlie, I said, are you alright?”
“Yes!” Charlie squeaks. “I’m completely fine!”
“I’ve been calling you!”
“I haven’t got my phone!”
Nick stalks towards him, and Charlie, so startled by this whole situation, moves back against the hood of the car. But then Nick stops, and finally Charlie can see his face. “Are you wearing fucking underwear?”
“Umm,” Charlie says, glancing down. “No! It’s my pyjamas! Though maybe it could technically count as und-“
Nick turns on Darcy, cutting off Charlie’s explanation “What the fuck, Darcy?”
“I didn’t notice. But I would have bought some clothes for him once we arrived in London,” Darcy says, guiltily.
“LONDON?”
“I wasn’t thinking,” Darcy cries, and she is looking so small and vulnerable. “I fucked up, I know!”
“Oh, you fucked up, alright!” Nick bellows, and Charlie is beginning to feel quite bad for Darcy, whilst also being confused as hell. He has no idea why this has gotten Nick so worked up. After having been forced out of an airplane he thought that there was nothing Darcy could do that could make Nick lose his temper. But here he is, looking angrier and more disappointed than Charlie has ever seen him.
Then Nick is removing his hoodie, and for a second Charlie thinks that Nick is getting ready to fight Darcy, but then Nick is turning back to him and placing the hoodie in his hands, breathing raggedly.
“Here, put this on,” he says softly, and Charlie feels his heart skip a bit and his cheeks reddening. He pulls Nick’s hoodie over his head and he allows himself to breathe in Nick’s scent.
“How could you do this?” Nick barks. He’s talking to Darcy, but his hand have come to rest on Charlie’s back, holding him securely. “I get that you’re in pain, and I know you need distractions, and I want to be there for you, but how could you involve…I can’t believe you’ve done this.”
“Now you’re just quoting Vines.” Charlie says, and Nick looks down at him. His lip twitches, and Charlie feels slightly proud for almost making him laugh, even in his agitated state.
“Nick, if you would just listen…” Darcy begins, taking advantage of the momentary silence, but she’s quickly cut off by Nick again.
“No, really, Darcy, why did you do this? This is so fucking stupid!”
“We were just going to feed the penguins,” Charlie yelps, trying to help Darcy. This might’ve been a completely shit night, but he understands now that she’s never had bad intentions, and he doesn’t think that she deserves this much of Nick’s wrath.
Nick doesn’t respond. Instead he looks down at Charlie again, something desperate in his eyes. He grips Charlie’s shoulder tightly and says: “Just get in my car.”
“In your car?”
“Yeah, you’re freezing. Go warm up and I’ll deal with the car and Darcy.”
Charlie wants to say something to help Darcy, but he doesn’t know what. Darcy’s story and her feelings are hers to share, and he doesn’t know what else to say to make Nick go easier on her. He glances helplessly over at Darcy and sees her smiling at him and nodding towards Nick’s car.
“Alright,” Charlie says. He allows himself to rest his head on Nick’s chest, just because he can. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Just, go easy on her alright? She’s so fragile.”
“We’ll see,” Nick grunts, but there’s something softer in his voice, and he runs a gentle hand through Charlie’s curls. Charlie has to supress a shiver. He then reluctantly moves himself away from Nick and walks towards Nick’s car. Once inside, he promptly falls asleep against the window.
*********************************
Charlie is awoken by Nick sliding into the driver’s seat and starting up the car. He turns to look for Darcy’s car, but it’s no longer there.
“Shit,” Charlie says, with a sarcastic gasp. “You’ve actually murdered her, haven’t you”
Nick snorts. “Nah. I decided against it in the end, wouldn’t want you dragged into that mess.”
“Ah of course,” Charlie giggles, yawning. “That’s a good point.”
Nick makes it onto the road and starts speeding up, and Charlie looks a the clock and see that it’s 3:21 in the morning. Ugh.
“What a night,” he mutters. “Thank you so much for coming, you’re a godsend.”
“Of course,” Nick says softly with reddened cheeks, like he’d never not hop out of bed at 1in the morning to rescue his friends from the side of the road. Nick is just such a selfless and amazing person.
It’s on of the reasons Charlie likes him so much, no, why he loves him so much. Why he’s so completely, utterly in love with Nick that it aches sometimes. Among every other thing that Nick Nelson is.
Not to mention his strong rugby arms. Or his handsome face. Nick really has an amazing, perfect face.
Said face is currently sporting a frown. Charlie’s probably a little delirious by now, because all he wants to do is to lean over and kiss Nick’s face until the frown and the tension are gone.
“Did you and Darcy sort it out?” he asks instead, trying to get a hold of himself.
“We had words,” Nick mutters.
“Don’t be too hard on her,” Charlie pleads. “She’s very sensitive. You know that better than anybody.”
“I know, and it’s not like I will never forgive her…I just can’t believe that she would do this when she knows how much I….” Nick trails off at the end, leaving the rest of the sentence unsaid.
“She was just trying to be nice,” Charlie continues. “Like, she went about in the stupidest way possible, but that’s just how she is, what else can you expect from her, really?”
“Well, I expect more than this,” Nick huffs, surprising Charlie with how frustrated he sounds. “I have tried to understand and be patient, defended her to all of you, because I know she always has good intentions and that she’s hurting.. but she doesn’t get to drag you into her mess. From now on, if she wants to be destructive, she can do it in her own time.”
Charlie gazes at him.
“But I’m completely fine, you know that right?” he asks, a little breathless, confused by the conversation they’re having. “Of course, I’m really tired and all, and it would’ve been bad if we hadn’t been able to reach you, but in the end it turned out okay…”
Nick doesn’t respond.
This time, Charlie doesn’t stop himself. He leans over and places a soothing hand on Nick’s shoulder. Nick’s shoulders are rigid, but Charlie can feel some of the tension disappear under his hand.
Emboldened, Charlie removes his hand and places it softly on Nick’s cheek. He can hear Nick’s breath hitch. Nick keeps looking at the road, but he presses his cheeks slightly against Charlie’s palm and swallows.
“Darcy’s just…not good with talking about her feelings,” Charlie says, softly. “And honestly, I kind of get that”
“Hm,” Nick says, voice thick. “Yeah, I get that too.”
*********************************
Charlie is totally planning on sleeping in the next day. It’s what he deserves after the night he’s had. But then Tao bursts into his room around 10:30, shoving his phone in Charlie’s face, smiling one of the biggest smiles Charlie’s ever seen him smile.
“Tara has been in contact!” he cries over Charlie’s disgruntled noise. “She said that Kampala and Mbarara are both amazing and that she already met lots of amazing people. She’s even bought us some authentic Ugandan outfits!”
“Fantastic,” Charlie says, more awake now. “It’s so good to know that she hasn’t completely forgotten us.”
“But that’s not all” Tao grins, throwing himself onto the bed because Tao doesn’t care about Charlie’s personal space. “Look at the bottom.”
Charlie tiredly opens his eyes and turns to look at the screen Tao is presenting to him like a prize. Tara’s email isn’t long, but towards the bottom is a sentence that instantly grabs Charlie’s attention, just above a picture of one of the prettiest dresses he’s ever seen.
I bought this dress for myself. I sent a picture to Darcy and she said I looked ‘fucking edible, Jonesy’ so I’m guessing it looks good on me?
“They made up,” Charlie breathes, relief flowing through him. He hadn’t really doubted that they would, because those two are meant for each other. Even if they sometimes have stupid fights.
“They made up!” Tao confirms, happily, hugging Charlie tightly before releasing him. “Now Darcy can stop tormenting us.”
“Thank fucking god,” Charlie says, patting Tao’s arm.
“Yeah,” Tao says, then he looks properly at Charlie. He frowns. “Did you wear a hoodie to bed? Whose is this? It’s way too big to be yours…”
Charlie looks down at himself. He hadn’t removed Nick’s hoodie before getting into bed last night. “Um…it’s kind of a long story. Just be thankful Tara and Darcy sorted it out before Darcy got to you.”
Tao grins knowingly “It’s Nick’s, isn’t it?”
“What?” Charlie blushes. “Why would you…”
“I think I want the long story, actually,” Tao says, laying back on the bed and looking at Charlie expectantly. So, Charlie starts explaining and Tao just laughs at his misery. When Charlie explains that he doesn’t really know why Nick reacted so strongly, Tao looks at him as though he’s grown a second head but offers no theory of his own and just smirks knowingly.
*********************************
Charlie goes over to Darcy and Nick’s that night because he and Nick had already agreed to play Mario Kart and he’s not going to let a little awkwardness get in the way of that. Okay, maybe a lot of awkwardness, but hey he can do this.
Darcy answers the door, smiling at him a little sheepishly. “Charlie, my guy, just come in. Nick’s baked biscuits”
“The oat ones?” Charlie asks, following her in.
“Yeah.. they’re your favourite and one of your safe foods, and he wanted to make them for you because he…” Darcy trails off. “Well, you know.”
Charlie doesn’t really know, actually, but before he can ask, Darcy continues talking. “I just wanted to say sorry again.”
“And I already told you that there’s nothing to forgive,” Charlie says, “I’m more interested in eating some biscuits actually. Things went well with Tara then?”
“We FaceTimed this morning,” Darcy says, practically beaming. “I told her everything. I’m going to fly down there and visit, so that we can talk properly. Would you believe it, me going to Uganda?”
“I’m happy for you” Charlie says, hugging her tightly.
“Couldn’t have done it without your words of wisdom.” she says cheekily and hands him a biscuit that he starts to nibble on.
“Nick’s just been in the shower, he’ll be out in a minute” Darcy says. “I’ll just leave you alone for now.”
“Hm?” Charlie says. Darcy often crashes these nights, despite being terrible at Mario Kart (like she spends more time falling off than actually driving on Rainbow Road). ”You’re not joining us?”
But Darcy’s just looking at him with a look he can’t decipher. “Not today.” she cryptically says, and then promptly walks inside her room and shuts the door behind her.
Charlie’s left staring after her, wondering what the fuck is going on, and then the door to Nick’s room opens. Nick’s wearing jeans and a woolly jumper, and Charlie thinks it’s unfair how good he looks. Charlie’s a bit puzzled though, because Nick almost always wears joggers and a hoodie at home. Why is he dressed up?
“Are you still pissed off with Darcy?” Charlie asks when Nick approaches him. “Because she just bolted on me”
Nick’s eyes shift to Darcy’s closed door and then back to Charlie. “No, it’s fine, we talked it out,” he says, his pitch a little higher than normal, almost as if he’s nervous about something. He’s looking down at his shoes, hands in his pockets and he looks almost shy. “Um, hi.”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“You already said that.”
Nick shakes his head, as if berating himself for something. “Do you want to sit?”
“Okay,” Charlie says, trying to sound casual. But he can’t help but feel that something really strange is going on. Nick looks...twitchy. He sits on the sofa, and Nick sits down next to him, so close that their thighs are almost touching. He smells like coconut shampoo, and Charlie wishes he was brave enough to lean over and put his head on Nick’s shoulder.
“What’s going on?” Charlie asks, after the silence has dragged on for an uncomfortable amount of time.
“You were right,” Nick says. He’s looking intently down at his hands, which are clasped together on his lap, knuckles turning white. “You know, about feelings…”
“That it’s almost always better to talk about them than to ignore them?” Charlie guesses. Nick nods. “Well yeah, no shit, stupid.”
Nick barks out a laugh, his eyes soft. Then he’s looking straight at Charlie, his face both serious and scared at the same time, and he is sitting so close that Charlie has to remind himself to breathe.
“I guess I kind of overreacted last night,” Nick says thickly. “It’s just, that’s what you do to me.”
Charlie’s heart is beating fast, because, what is going on? What is Nick getting at, what is it Charlie is doing to him?
“What do you mean?”
Nick glances down to Charlie’s lips, and Charlie is barely able to process what is going on or to even think anything, before Nick is leaning over and gently pressing his lips to Charlie’s.
Oh.
The kiss is short, but it still punches all the air from Charlie’s lungs and leaves him dazed. He is grinning when Nick eventually pulls away.
“Are you for real?” Charlie giggles. Nick looks a little panicked, so Charlie moves closer, placing his hands on his shoulders. “I’ve been dreaming of doing that since like forever, so I’m totally not complaining, but do you honestly think that counts as talking about your feelings?”
“You’ve been dreaming about it?” Nick echoes, sounding a bit stunned.
Charlie leans forward and kisses him deeply, caressing Nick’s cheek like he’s always dreamed about, like he thought he would never get to. When he moves away, Nick’s gaze is hooded and he’s breathing heavily.
“I love you,” Nick mumbles. “And I know it’s probably too soon for me to say that, like one kiss and I’m confessing like some lovesick loon, it’s just that I’ve been loving you ever since I met you, and I am trying to be more honest about how I feel.. and I totally don’t expect you to feel the same, I just needed to tell you, before I lose the nerve.”
Charlie cuts off Nick’s rant with a soft kiss to his lips, resting his forehead against Nick’s, breathing heavily. “I love you, too,” he confesses, and he sees Nick suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widening. “I know I talk about being honest about feelings, but I haven’t really been good at that myself. So, I love you Nick Nelson, and it feels good to finally be able to tell you that. I’ve also been gone on you ever since we met, you’re not alone in this.”
Nick closes the distance between them once more and Charlie is swept up in another desperate kiss. He presses Charlie down on his back on the couch as the kiss turns more hungry, more feverish…
“Ha ha, I knew it!” a voice shouts gleefully and they fling apart. Darcy has exited her room and is standing there with her phone, having obviously taken a picture of the two of them.
Nick moves off the couch and towards Darcy. “You are so dead.” he says, but Charlie can see that he can’t help smiling, even when he’s threatening Darcy.
Darcy darts out of the way and Nick moves towards her.
And, as he watches as Nick chases Darcy around the living room, trying to get her to delete the picture, Charlie knows that he’s never ever been happier.