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Blue was Red’s first kiss, both of them seven years old and determined to prove that the things in the movies Daisy liked to watch were just stupid adult stuff. Red learned later that kissing was every bit as boring and uninteresting as he assumed it would be, but kissing Blue?
That was different.
He reasoned it was because nothing was ever boring with Blue, so of course the dry press of Blue’s lips against his would stay with him for years after. Would be the standard he measured others against, when the occasional trainer or traveler he encountered on the road was brave enough to lean into his personal space.
And they never quite matched up to that first time. Never grabbed his attention the way Blue had. Never set his heart hammering in his chest with a smile or an offhand comment or the feel of their mouth on his in the same way Blue could.
Blue had set the bar for most things in Red’s life, so he supposed it wasn’t that surprising that Blue would be his first in this as well.
The first to press him down and wrench the waistband of his jeans and boxers around his thighs. The first to push Red’s face into the cold cave floor as two of his fingers worked Red open.
Blue wasn’t gentle, but nothing ever was between them. His breath came out in angry bursts, the hand holding Red’s face down curling into Red’s hair, pulling at the strands.
Red bit his lip to hold in a moan, cheeks hot despite the cold stone underneath him.
Blue pulled Red’s hair harder. “Stop that,” he hissed.
The sudden roughness startled a gasp from Red, and he brought a hand up the temple Blue had a vice grip on, twirling his index finger to show he didn’t understand.
“Stop,” Blue repeated, furious. “With the fucking silence. What, I’m not worth speaking to, anymore? Is that it? Am I too beneath your notice to even get a moan from you?” He leaned down to sneer into Red’s face, even as the younger man frantically shook his head as much as Blue’s grip on it would allow. “Is that why you’ve let me think you were—that you’d—for nine fucking years, Red.” His voice cracked on Red’s name, his tone caught somewhere between fury and grief and wanting.
This wasn’t the right time for this. Not when they had just been pulled back into each other’s orbit, angry and hurt and still nursing resentments from nearly a decade before. This would only hurt them further, could only make their friendship more strained.
It might even break it.
For good this time.
And yet, Red couldn’t help wanting more, begging for it in the way he spread his trembling thighs further apart or the way his hips pressed back against Blue’s hand, a jagged breath leaving him as Blue’s fingertips pressed against his insides just right.
Blue’s lips brushed over the shell of Red’s ear as he whispered, “If you won’t give it to me, I’ll fuck it out of you.” His breath gusted along the side of Red’s face with each word, making him shiver. “But one way or another, you’re going to scream for me.”
Red was still reeling from Blue’s words when the other man pulled his fingers free. He frowned at the sudden emptiness, fighting to make sense of it all through the haze of his muddled thoughts. It didn’t register until Blue moved his grip to Red’s hips to angle them upward, and Red jolted with the realization that Blue wanted—that he was going to—
He scrambled to reach out behind him, pressing his hand against Blue’s hip to still it.
“What?” Blue demanded, voice laced with impatience. "What?!"
Red bit down on his bottom lip again, mind frantically working for a way to communicate what he wanted. Eventually, he decided to sign it, unsure if Blue remembered enough of the gestures to even understand. He pressed his fingertips against his lips, then his cheek.
“You—what are you…” Blue’s pinched expression smoothed with understanding, and he rolled his eyes. “You want a kiss?”
Red nodded, face heating up again as he hid it in the crook of his elbow.
Blue snorted. “Not happening, Red.” He huffed out a frustrated breath when Red’s hand pushed his hip away again and he lifted his head to repeat the sign. “I said no, you stubborn bastard.” Red made the sign a third time, followed by a clockwise circle over his heart. Kiss. Please. “Look, I’m sure whoever you’ve done this with before was all too happy to give you a nice, tender fucking, but I ain’t—oh for fuck’s sake—what, Red?!”
Red went through a series of different signs for the word, Blue looking more agitated by the second. He finally held up an index finger and touched the pad of it with the finger of his other hand.
“Red, I don’t know what you’re—oh. First?” At Red’s nod, the color drained from Blue’s face. “Do you mean—this is your first—”
Red buried his face again.
“Shit,” Blue cursed, breath gusting out of him in a tremulous sigh. “Shit—okay—just—just, c’mere.”
Red shifted up to his knees, eyeing Blue warily as the older man motioned him closer.
Blue rolled his eyes again. “You said you wanted a kiss, didn’t ya?” He punctuated it by making the sign himself, fingers not quite straight enough or at the right angle as he held them to his lips.
Red smiled a little, shuffling closer. Blue always was shit at signing. The reminder was oddly comforting, a small bit of familiarity between them that promised they did still know each other, in some ways.
“Stop looking so pleased with yourself,” Blue snapped, curling a hand around the back of Red’s neck to pull him in.
Blue kissed him with far more finesse than he had that first time, tongue teasing past the seam of Red’s lips. He’d clearly had more practice than Red had since then, and Red told himself the curl of jealousy in his gut was ridiculous. That peck on the lips was over thirteen years ago, and Blue was… well, Blue. Pretty, funny, charming Blue. He’d probably had a million chances to kiss whoever he wanted over the years.
And he must have, to be able to coax Red’s lips into submission so easily.
“Shoulda known,” Blue said against Red’s mouth, his tone still cold but starting to lose some of its angry edges. “That you’d keep this for me.” He nudged Red’s thighs, guiding him into Blue’s lap. “I was always first, wasn’t I? First to leave, first to challenge you, first to win the league—” his fingers tightened briefly, nails digging into Red’s soft skin before his fingertips rubbed over the spot, soothing the hurt. “First to hear you speak—” he reached between them, wrapping a hand around Red’s length. “—First to kiss you.”
Red ducked his head, pressing his forehead into the crook of Blue’s neck as the older man taunted Red with slow, lazy strokes. A sob escaped him when Blue paused to squeeze the head, thumb flicking across a small bead of precome at the tip. His voice was hoarse with disuse, the sound strange to Red’s ears after years of silence, but Blue laughed like he’d just won a prize, repeating the motion to draw more noise from Red.
“That’s it. Told you I’ll make you scream for me.” Blue nipped at Red’s earlobe, a sharp spot of pain to cut through the haze of pleasure. “Come on, Red, give me more.” His free hand slid behind Red, fingers easily slipping back into him.
Red gripped Blue’s shoulders, mouth hanging open, damp breath ghosting across Blue’s neck as Red’s hips tried to decide between chasing the hand around his cock or pressing further onto the fingers thrusting in and out of him. He was so close, pressure building low in his gut, whole body tensing in anticipation. Blue’s hands disappeared before he could tip over the edge, leaving Red panting and sinking further from release by the second.
Red lifted his head, giving Blue a look of deep betrayal.
Blue raised an eyebrow at him, his grin just shy of spiteful as he said, “What, you didn’t think we were done, did you?”
Red’s hands twitched against Blue’s shoulders, itching to ask why, to figure out what Blue wanted from him, what it would take to make Blue let him come, but—
He couldn’t think straight, mind struggling to remember what signs he should use to match the jumble of thoughts clogging his head.
“Aww, poor Red,” Blue crooned. “Tell me what you want and I’ll think about giving it to you.”
Red glared at the other man, wondering why he expected anything different from Blue when he has been taunting the worst out of Red since they were toddlers. Can’t, he signed, brow furrowing as he fought to make his trembling hands work. He tapped his fingers against his throat and shook his head. Hurts.
“O-oh, you—why didn’t you—dammit, Red,” Blue snarled, but his hands were gentle as they pulled Red in for another kiss.
Red looped his arms around Blue’s neck, meeting Blue’s mouth with as much fervor as he could. Blue’s lips were soft and warm and slightly chapped from the cold, and Red couldn’t get enough of the way they yielded to him. Acquiescence was a foreign word where Blue was concerned. It was a struggle, a back-and-forth, a battle in everything between them. His face against the floor, the drag of Blue’s nails against flesh, the copper taste of blood on Red’s tongue when he bit his lip just a little too hard—those felt like the Blue he remembered. It was their rivalry and their spoiled friendship rolled into an aching reminder that they fit together in all the wrong ways.
But this—the light slide of Blue’s hands trailing down his spine, the gentle pressure of his fingers gripping his hips, the inertia of Blue guiding him to the floor—
This felt like a remnant of the nebulous Before, when Blue’s eyes watched him with affection instead of contempt, when Blue spoke his name like a prayer instead of a curse, when Blue’s touched him like he was something cherished instead of hated. It was intoxicating, lighting up some starved part of him that was left shaking and needy with every drag of Blue’s skin against his own.
And Red really must have saved this for Blue, because the thought of anyone else sliding Red’s legs onto their shoulders and slowly pressing into him was unfathomable.
“Relax,” Blue said, gasping like the word was punched out of him. “Just—fuck, Red, you—”
Red would glare at the other man if his eyes weren’t clenched shut, vainly trying to block out as much stimulation as possible, because how was Red supposed to relax when he was this full? He settled for pinching Blue’s shoulder, a shiver working down the length of his spine when Blue just laughed in response, leaning down to catch Red’s mouth in another kiss.
It was grounding, almost, to focus on Blue’s mouth moving against his, the momentary jolts of heat that spiked through him when Blue sank his teeth into Red’s bottom lip. It offered just enough distraction that Red did manage to relax long enough for Blue to push forward, stretching Red open inch by agonizing inch.
Red senses were overwhelmed, everything bright and cloying like his nerve endings were exposed. It was too much and not enough all at once, discomfort and pleasure and a heady amount of intimacy all roiling together. When Blue bottomed out, breaking their kiss to choke out, “Red, please, I—” and tensed all over in his effort to hold still, Red didn’t even wait for him to finish the request before he was nodding, permissive and pleading.
Red knew the breathy, helpless little moans escaping him with each snap of Blue’s hips were far from melodic, the sounds dragged over vocal cords weakened by nearly a decade of disuse. And yet each one made Blue shudder all over, and it was his turn to hide this time, pressing his face into Red's neck.
And as the heat pooling in Red's stomach intensified, spurred on by the wet drag of Blue inside him and the steady pull of Blue’s hand on his cock, he strained his throat, wincing a little as he tried to force out a single word.
“D-don’t. Dammit, Red, you’ll—”
“Blue!” Red gasped, heedless of Blue’s protests, letting his fingers dig into Blue’s shoulders as he came.
"Fuck, Red. You don’t—I can’t, I can’t—” Blue cried out, hips stilling with his own release.
Blue wilted in the aftermath, collapsing onto Red with a groan, their chests heaving as they both worked to catch their breath. Red felt hollowed out and boneless in the absolute best way, slinging a limp arm over Blue’s back to keep him close. He didn’t miss the way Blue’s next exhale turned into a strangled sort of hiccup, or the sudden dampness on his neck where Blue’s face was still tucked out of sight.
He held Blue through the worst of it, hand rubbing soothing circles into Blue’s back until the other man’s breath slowly evened with sleep. He didn’t mean to doze off himself, but he must have, jerking awake just in time to see Blue slip from the cave and out of sight.
He knew wouldn’t see Blue again for a while, but he didn’t mind waiting.
Blue was always Red’s first, but Red?
Red was determined to be Blue’s last.