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Bill sat down on the couch and his sigh of relief quickly turned into a grimace from the pain. He had forgotten about the wound on his shoulder and it had just come back to him vividly as he leaned back.
One of the wooden shutters had come down the day before and when Bill had repaired it, he had inadvertently bumped his shoulder against a loose board. He hadn't said anything to Frank and had done his dressing on his own.After all, he'd been taking care of himself for a long time. Frank hadn't discovered it until the evening as they were getting ready for bed.
"You're still in pain."
He hadn't heard the front door close and was slightly startled by Frank's voice as he set his things down in the corner of the room. Unable to take from Bill's wardrobe indefinitely, he had gone to the abandoned clothing store and stocked up on clothes there.
He approached Bill and, kneeling in front of him, asked with a worried look, "Do you want me to change the bandage?"
"I can do it myself," Bill replied, shaking his head.
Frank gently insisted, "Bill, I know perfectly well that you can do it by yourself, but it's easier if I do it, isn't it?"
Not getting an answer from Bill, he lost his smile and asked a little more coldly, "Or maybe it's that you don't trust me. I could understand that, you know, after all, we've only known each other for two days and-"
Bill interrupted him, exclaiming, "Frank, no, it's not that! It's not that at all. I wouldn't have even let you into my house if I didn't think I could trust you!"
Frank's smile returned to his lips and, crouching down in front of Bill again, he said gently, "Then let me help you, will you?"
Bill nodded without saying anything. Frank stood up, holding out his hand to help him up, and pushed him toward the stairs that led to the bedroom.
"Go into the bedroom, take off your shirt, sit on the bed and I'll get what we need to treat this properly."
Bill complied, driven to obey Frank like when he had asked him two days ago to go shower before they had sex. It was both unsettling but surprisingly comfortable to let someone else take charge for a while.
He was sitting on the bed waiting quietly when Frank returned with the supplies to renew his bandage.
Bill grimaced as he told the other man, "I'm not sure, but I think the wound has reopened."
"I'll take a look, okay?" Frank sat down next to him and, grabbing Bill's hand on the bandage, lifted it and said, "Let me see."
Frank hummed, "Well, it did bleed a little." He carefully undid the bandage. Every time he touched Bill's skin a little, Bill found it hard not to flinch and did his best not to show it. It had been so long since anyone had touched him. Every time Frank laid a hand on him it was something new and he felt like he was craving for him to do it again and again. From the first moment Frank had laid a hand on him after he played the piano.
He couldn't hold back a shudder when Frank's hand lingered to remove the last layer of his bandage.
Frank noticed this and asked him, concerned, "Did I hurt you?"
He withdrew his hand and Bill couldn't hold back a slight whimper in response. He immediately bit his lips in embarrassment, bewildered by this uncontrolled reaction.
Fortunately for him Frank had this incredible insight as far as he was concerned and gently told him, "I understand."
Bill tried to control himself when Frank rested his hand on him to examine the wound, but it was as if a dam had broken. After years of both desired and forced solitude, he couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the intimacy of such a simple gesture. He looked up and his gaze met Frank's again as he repeated softly, "I understand." before beginning to clean the dried blood around the wound. Bill watched and couldn't help but feel the same wave of emotion run through him as he watched the other man's gentle, careful motions.
Then Frank re-bandaged the wound with clean gauze and got up to take the supplies away.
Bill felt the loss so much in that moment that he couldn't help but hold Frank back as he grabbed his hand. He didn't recognize himself as he whispered in a barely audible voice, "Stay."
Frank looked a little surprised, but nevertheless put down what he had in his hand and returned to sit next to Bill. Taking his hand in his own, he said softly, "Where else could I go?"
Then he raised his other hand and lightly stroked Bill's cheek. Bill closed his eyes and leaned against Frank's hand.
He said almost shyly, mumbling under his breath, "I... I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm reacting like this."
Frank replied fondly, "I do. I understand what it's like to be alone for so long, to not touch anyone and have no one touch you. Believe me Bill, I know exactly what it's like. And I suspect that for you it's been a lot longer."
Bill, acutely aware of the gentle warmth of Frank's hand on his cheek, his throat constricted, tried to stem the emotion that both Frank's hand and his words were giving him, but there was no stopping it.
Frank said nothing and, simply putting an arm around Bill's shoulders, careful not to touch his wound, held him close. When he felt Bill had calmed down a bit, he said, gently running his hand over Bill's arm, "Lie down with me."
He loosened his embrace, causing another uncontrolled whimper from Bill who put his hand over his mouth in embarrassment.
"It's okay, don't hide," Frank said softly as he stood up, "I'll just open the bedsheets so we can lie down. Okay?"
Not waiting for an answer, he waited for Bill to get up in order to push back the sheets, then made him sit down again and came to kneel in front of him to help him undress. He did this with gentle touches that felt like gentle caresses that made Bill tremble. Then Frank pushed him into the bed before undressing himself and joining him.
Once under the sheets, he immediately wrapped his arms around Bill who immediately leaned into him. Soon Bill was aware of every place where Frank's skin was in contact with his. In reaction to the touch, the emotion was so strong at that moment that he couldn't stop the tears from flowing and this time he held nothing back. He was only aware of Frank's hands as they hypnotically stroked his back and his soothing whispers against his hair. Now that he had let go, lulled by this softness and the safety of the embrace, he didn't even feel sleep wash over him.
When he woke up much later, it was dark and the place beside him was cold. He had no idea how long he had slept.
He blushed slightly as he thought about what had happened and felt bad for looking so weak in front of Frank. Once again. Then, hearing some activity from the ground floor, he decided to get up. He dressed quickly and went down the stairs. He was about to go in search of Frank when the man came up beside him with two steaming cups and exclaimed with a big smile on his lips, "You're awake!"
Then he asked him gently with concern in his eyes, "How are you?"
"Better," Bill replied before continuing, "What's that?" pointing to the two cups.
"Tea," Frank replied, motioning for him to follow, "Come on, let's go sit down."
As they sat side by side on the couch, Frank handed him a cup. Bill took it and thanked him softly.
They drank in silence, Bill relishing the warmth of the drink, which warmed him as much as the touch of Frank's thigh and shoulder against him. After they put their cups back down, Bill turned to Frank and said softly, "Thanks, and not just for the bandage or the tea. I don't want... well, I don't want you to think that... argh." Bill grew annoyed at his own difficulty in expressing himself.
Frank put a finger over his mouth, "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."
He leaned closer and slid his hand from Bill's lips to his cheek before asking gently, "Bill, May I kiss you?"
Bill nodded slowly and Frank closed the distance between them. At first it was just a simple brushing of lips together, but just that light touch of Frank's lips on his was enough to overwhelm Bill. Frank slid his hand down Bill's neck to press him a little closer, and Bill's hands clutched at his shoulders as if to make sure he wasn't going anywhere. He parted his lips and Frank's tongue slid against his bottom lip, sending an electric shiver down Bill's spine. As Frank's tongue continued to explore his mouth, an incredible warmth flooded Bill and made him feel lightheaded. Frank, sensing the way Bill was overwhelmed, pulled back a little so they could catch their breath. Then, as if he couldn't help himself, it was Bill who leaned in and kissed Frank gently, his lips softly caressing Frank's who couldn't hold back a moan.
They continued to kiss like this, for long minutes, not trying to go any further. Just enjoying the kiss, their lips and bodies touching. Getting to know each other, becoming familiar. Far from the passion and urgency of their first time.
A little later, they had moved and were catching their breath, Frank lying on his back, Bill resting against him, his head on his chest. He gently stroked Frank's chest as Frank's fingers fondled his hair.
Frank, feeling Bill smile against him, asked softly, "What are you smiling about?"
Bill chuckled softly and said, "It was like a first kiss...I mean we've kissed before and more, but I don't know this is... different. Well maybe not for you."
Bill felt Frank kiss his hair before he whispered, "Trust me it's different for me too."
Bill asked, "And that's good?"
Frank tightened his arms around him and replied, "It's not good, it's much better. So much better."
They still didn't know where this relationship would take them. It was far too early to tell. They were just getting to know each other. But in this apocalyptic world both of them knew that everything could disappear in an instant so that was enough for them.