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Mickey and Ian were laying in bed together, it was late and they were both trying to sleep. Mickey was on his right side facing away from Ian and Ian was facing his back. Ian couldn’t sleep so he opted for staring at the moonlight that illuminated mickeys silhouette.
He was thinking how grateful he was to finally have Mickey and to be Mickey’s for the rest of their life. Sometimes he really couldn’t put into words how much he loved that man, they’ve been through way too much to not get a happy ending. Or maybe not? Maybe he doesn’t actually deserve any of this. Doesn’t deserve to live a normal life. Doesn’t deserve love, doesn’t deserve the man in front of him that he fell so hard for.
His thoughts were getting too loud in his head and he felt like he was back in prison without Mickey again. It was so fucking lonely and he was so fucking sad, most of what he would do besides think about his family was think about Mickey. What he was up to at that moment, if he was okay, if he was thinking about Ian. He remembers desperately trying to think about anything else but when he was alone at night in his cell it seemed that’s the only thing he could think about. He hated when he got like this, so inside of his own head it was exhausting and he wished it would shut up and let him fucking sleep
Ian felt tears roll down his face at the memories.
He was trying to be quiet and just let it pass so he didn’t have to worry Mickey more than he already feels like he does. Which is a lot.
He felt Mickey stir and start to turn over. Ian was wiping at his tears with the back of his hand so his lover wouldn’t see but his pretty green eyes made contact with pretty blue ones.
“Ian? Hey, what’s wrong?” he whispered while scooting forward to him. His crying just got worse, especially when Mickey put a leg over his and had his hand on his face wiping away his tears for him. Ian felt like he couldn’t breath or speak so he just let himself be held.
After a few minutes of that he started to calm down. “C’mere Mick.” he whispered. Mickey immediately responded and wrapped his arms around him, Ian doing the same so their chests were pushed together and his head right under Ian’s chin, his thumb rubbing slow circles on Ian’s back to be comforting.
“What’s got you so upset?”
“… i was just thinking about you and how much i love you.”
Ian could feel Mickey frown and pull him closer.
“I love you a lot y’know, i’m not going anywhere.”
“yeah i know. I just feel like if i ever let you go you’ll disappear from me. Mick, i can’t go through that again everything hurt so fucking much without you.” More tears welled up in his eyes.
“We’re never gonna lose each other again alright? I know how it hurt you and i damn well know how much it hurt me too.”
Ian had a soft smile from that admission and kissed the top of his husbands head while running his hands through soft black hair. He felt like such a sucker for Mickey and his touch but knew that Mickey was too.
“Alright.” he whispered back
They held each other as tight as possible when they finally drifted to sleep, afraid the other was going too disappear if somebody let go.