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“So how does it feel to be old?” Tighnari said as he took another bite out of his padisarah pudding.
Kaveh sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. They were currently at Pupsa Cafe for their weekly hangouts when Tighnari just had to remind him about his age. He was going to turn thirty in a few days and yet he was still broke.
“Thirty is not old.” Kaveh groaned, stabbing his food with a bit too much force.
“Nothing to be ashamed about,” Tighnari said nonchalantly, “Unless you’re still a virgin, or something.”
Kaveh froze for a millisecond before he laughed. “Yeah, imagine…” He trailed off, suddenly finding the paint on the wall very interesting.
“There’s no way.”
“…”
“No way.”
“Please stop reminding me of my failures.” Kaveh buried his face in his hands and groaned.
“I thought you and Alhaitham were…you know.” Tighnari made a vague gesture to the air. Kaveh narrowed his eyes at the implication.
“That bastard?! He hates me! Absolutely not.” Kaveh crossed his arms indignantly, ignoring the small shoot of pain in his chest. Probably just some acid reflux. God, he was getting old.
“He hates you? That’s certainly news to me.” Tighnari said, unaware of Kaveh currently mourning his twenties. Kaveh quirked up a brow and huffed.
“Have you seen him? He’s always insulting and belittling me any chance he has! His arrogance is ridiculous.” Kaveh resisted the urge to pull on his hair which he tried so hard to keep well-maintained. Alhaitham, that bastard, would always be a thorn to his side. Anything that came out of his lips was to provoke Kaveh, and for no reason too!
Kaveh, being the good and respectable senior that he was, took it upon himself to even tidy the house when Alhaitham was too busy to, and look at the thanks he got.
Sure, Alhaitham did pay his bar tabs and his rent when he was short on mora — which was most of the time. And he did allow Kaveh to stay at his house in the first place and let him decorate it. And he always took Kaveh home when he was too drunk to do so himself.
But surely the man could spare a few kind words his way, with him being part of the Haravatat darshan and all.
“And also,” Kaveh brought a hand down on the table with a loud bang, causing eyes to glance over at them, “I’m a busy man! I don’t have time for such frivolous activities!”
“Yet you have time to get slammed at Lambad’s every week?” Tighnari tilted his head slightly, a look of innocence on his face. Kaveh gritted his teeth. If this were a cartoon, steam would have been coming out of his ear right now.
“T-that’s different!” Kaveh stuttered out, his grip tightening on the edge of the table. Tighnari raised an elegant eyebrow.
“How so?”
“It just is!” Kaveh said with a huff and then finally sat down when he noticed the many eyes on him. Tighnari hummed, balancing his head on his hand and looking at Kaveh closely, as if inspecting him.
“Well, you know what they say about thirty year old virgins.” Tighnari shrugged, returning to his pudding. “You get blessed with some crazy superpower that only goes away when you lose it.”
Kaveh blinked and then scoffed, taking a sip out of his drink. “Your source?”
“It’s just an urban legend.” Tighnari said before promptly changing the topic to Cyno and Collei, his favorite people in all of Teyvat. Kaveh rolled his eyes. Damn him and his healthy relationship.
Kaveh was prepared to forget all about that, frankly, stupid urban legend. But when he was met with Alhaitham’s stony expression when he arrived home, a part of him wished it to be true. Hopefully he would get an ability that would help him understand Alhaitham better. He was a puzzle that Kaveh had no hope in solving by himself.
“You’re late.” Alhaitham said when Kaveh walked through the door. Alhaitham’s arms were crossed and his face was expressionless as ever. Kaveh scoffed and toed off his shoes.
“What, missed me?”
Alhaitham didn’t respond and simply grunted before sitting on the couch and taking out a book to read. Kaveh shook his head at the interaction, having long grown used to the confusing actions of his roomate.
Ah, how Kaveh wished he could just read minds.
Kaveh woke up on his birthday like any regular day. He got dressed, brushed his teeth, spent two hours doing his hair and went to the kitchen to get some food. There was nothing special about his birthday, therefore he treated it just like any regular day. That was one thing he and Alhaitham had in common.
Alhaitham wasn’t in the kitchen, so he must still be sleeping. Kaveh let him get some rest, knowing how much work he had as the new Acting Grand Sage. Look at him being considerate, he truly was the best roommate. And he was going to be an even better roommate by cooking some breakfast for the two of them.
He got lost in the familiar motions of cooking, humming a song that was stuck in his head while he swayed his hips to the beat. Kaveh was so lost in his own world that he didn’t notice the sound of familiar footsteps.
“Morning.” A half-asleep Alhaitham said, pulling out one of the chairs and plopping himself on it.
Kaveh didn’t yelp; he didn’t, he swears, grown men don’t yelp. But he was a bit startled at the sudden intrusion. He turned around to give Alhaitham a stern talking-to about startling him when he was cooking. but stopped when the sight of Alhaitham’s sleepy form greeted him.
Unwillingly, his heart skipped a beat and his face softened. Just a bit though. Kaveh exhaled and simply went back to the stove, once again getting lost in his own world. The only sound that filled the kitchen were the sounds of Kaveh’s melodic humming and the sizzle of food.
Once Kaveh was fully satisfied, he turned around again to show Alhaitham, but the man was already wide awake, staring at him with…something in his eyes. It almost looked like he was smiling, if the small upward quirk of his lips were anything to go by. If Kaveh was truly delusional enough, he would almost believe Alhaitham seemed…happy and content.
However, this was Alhaitham he was talking about — the unfeeling brick wall. Perhaps Kaveh didn’t get enough sleep the previous night.
“Breakfast is served.” Kaveh plated the food, deciding to ignore it for now. If there was anything he was good at, it was most definitely ignoring his problems.
“Cooking breakfast on your birthday? How novel.” Alhaitham said, propping up his head, the quirk of his lips turning into a full-blown smile, albeit still very subdued. Kaveh rolled his eyes.
“Hm! Just be grateful for the food.”
As if the day couldn’t have gotten any crazier, the edges of Alhaitham’s eyes crinkled slightly, signaling his amusement. Kaveh simply stared at the man in front of him. Did Alhaitham get abducted and replaced by a clone?
Kaveh still sent Alhaitham some suspicious glances while they dug into their breakfast, just in case he tried any funny business. But the man seemed to go back to normal, keeping silent and focusing on reading his book.
He was mid-bite when a calloused hand grabbed his chin. Kaveh met the impassive eyes of Alhaitham as his chin was lifted up. Alhaitham’s other hand swiped over the corner of his lips, brushing over the plump middle of Kaveh’s lips. He simply stared up in shock.
“You truly are a messy eater.”
Kaveh was about to retort when something stopped him.
Pretty...
That voice, it sounded a lot like Alhaitham, but the other man’s lips didn’t move and there was no way Alhaitham, of all people, would call him pretty. Kaveh continued to stare into Alhaitham’s multi-colored eyes. It remained emotionless as ever.
His lips are soft…I wonder what it would feel like to have his lips wrapped around my—
Kaveh scrambled away from Alhaitham’s touch and fell on the floor, landing on his ass. He stared up in shock and embarrassment. He could feel his ears growing warm and his heart pounding in his chest erratically. Alhaitham stared down at him, confusion on his face.
“Uh-, I-,“ Kaveh said, very intelligently, as expected of the star graduate of Kshahrewar. His hands moved unconsciously to touch his lips. Something in Alhaitham’s expression darkened.
“Surely someone as renowned as you would know how to eat without making a mess of himself.” Alhaitham said, his body language and expression guarded and distant. Kaveh simply stared, his mouth opened in shock.
There was too much happening at once. The blood rushing through his veins, his heart pumping in his chest, the ringing in his ears, Alhaitham calling him pretty and—
Kaveh stood up suddenly, almost tripping over himself.
“What are you doing?” Alhaitham asked, a frown marring his beautiful face. If Kaveh looked closely enough, it almost looked like Alhaitham was concerned about him.
No, this was too insane. He needed to get out of here.
He rushed towards the door, but didn’t get very far as a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.
“Where are you going.” Alhaitham said darkly.
Was I too forward? Perhaps he’s not used to skinship. I’ll have to get him used to it. Kaveh looks like a deer in headlights, I wonder, will he look like this when he sees—
Kaveh is out the door before the sentence is finished.
Tighnari, expectedly, was doubled over in laughter when Kaveh finally scrounged up the courage to tell him what just happened. He was holding his stomach as he kneeled on the floor, wheezing and laughing at Kaveh’s predicament. Kaveh watched with a blank smile, tightening his fist as he restrains himself from going apeshit.
“Tighnari…” Kaveh said sweetly, honeyed venom dripping from every word.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, hah, but this is just too good.” Tighnari took in some deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down. Once he finally got himself situated, Kaveh went into full detail about his morning.
“Well, it seems like the urban legend was right.” Tighnari said, in deep thought.
“Congratulations, you’re right. Now, how do I get rid of it?” Kaveh massaged his temples, exhaustion creeping up into his weary bones. It’s his birthday, damnit, he was supposed to be relaxing!
“Simple, fall into bed with Alhaitham.” Tighnari said definitively, as if he didn’t just casually tell him to sleep with his roommate, his sworn enemy.
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Because he doesn’t like me like that!” Kaveh groaned, slumping back onto the chair. Did he anger a god in his past life or something?
“Who says that?”
“Just look at him! He tolerates me at best. He probably only let me live with him because I’m like a jester to him. He derives some sick enjoyment out of seeing me fail.” Kaveh brought his knees up to his chest and cradled his body in his arms. He avoided Tighnari’s knowing gaze and buried his head in his arms.
The thing is, Kaveh knew that Alhaitham wasn’t that cold. He knew that Alhaitham did not enjoy seeing him fail. But sometimes, it sure felt like he did.
Sometimes he would come home after being gone for days, all for a client to reject all his ideas and ridicule him. He would take all those insults with a smile, of course; he was a professional after all. Kaveh would come home, exhausted, drained, and in need of rest. It was those days that Alhaitham’s words truly hurt him to his core.
The thing is, Kaveh knows and is familiar with their routine. They would insult each other, have a battle of wits, and see who would come out victorious. Usually, Kaveh would indulge in the bickering. Most days, he actually looked forward to their daily trade of insults.
However, those days where Kaveh just wanted to go home and rest; those days where he was so close to breaking under all the pressure of the world; those days where he felt like he was losing himself in every sense of the word; those days, Alhaitham would hit right where it hurt the most.
They’ve known each other for so long, so thoroughly, that sometimes Kaveh didn’t know where one started and the other ended. Because of that, Alhaitham knows the exact combination of words to crush Kaveh’s heart. And he does so with a ruthlessness that feeds the doubts in Kaveh’s mind, doubts about his career, his talents, and his place in Alhaitham’s life.
Those days, he wouldn’t deign Alhaitham with a response and simply rush into his room. He would wait until he heard Alhaitham retire for the night, and then sink down to his knees and cry as silently as possible. There were no words capable of describing just how painful those days were, and then the next few days where he’d have to pretend that everything was fine. Alhaitham would give him a strange look but simply shrugged it off. Kaveh would have to fight off the urge to break down in front of him, and beg Alhaitham to just hold him in his arms until he felt whole again.
Those days, the gap between them felt as wide as the two ends of Teyvat.
“We aren’t good for each other.” Kaveh whispered, so quietly that if Tighnari’s ears weren’t attuned to even the slightest of sounds, he wouldn’t have heard it. Tighnari sighed, and pulled Kaveh’s arms away from his body.
“Have you tried talking to him?”
“We can’t talk without arguing.”
Tighnari hummed. “Maybe you should change that.” He said gently. “You have that mind reading power now, right? Maybe that will help you get a better understanding of Alhaitham as a person.”
Kaveh nodded absentmindedly. Tighnari pulled him up and patted him on his shoulder. “Let’s get you home.”
The sky was dark when Kaveh finally returned home. The lights weren’t on. Alhaitham must’ve been asleep already. Relief filled his chest now that he didn’t have to talk to Alhaitham right away. He ignored the sharp stab of hurt at the thought that Alhaitham didn’t care enough to even wait for him.
He unlocked the door as quietly as he could and stepped through the threshold, closing it behind him. He heaved a large sigh as his forehead touched the cool wood of the door. His thoughts were a mess that only grew louder because of the silence.
“You came back.”
Kaveh screeched and then quickly covered his mouth. Alhaitham was sitting on the couch, holding a book in his hand. Slowly, the man got up and started walking over to him. It took everything in him to not bolt out the door.
“I’m home.” Kaveh swallowed. In the darkness, Alhaitham’s face was hard to make out but as he got closer, it looked like he was almost relieved to see Kaveh. Maybe a side effect of the mind reading was seeing things that aren’t there, he reasoned.
“I would like to apologize for my conduct this morning.” Alhaitham said, his voice inflection less and his face not giving anything away. Kaveh was about to brush everything off when Tighnari’s voice rang in his head.
Just talk to him.
Kaveh took a deep breath and steeled himself for what was to come.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, it was my fault, I’m sorry.” Kaveh rambled, looking at everything except Alhaitham. “I was…just startled.”
Alhaitham blinked at him before the corners of his lips pulled up into a smirk. Oh how Kaveh wishes he could wipe that stupid, smug smirk off his face, preferably with his lips. Wait what—
“Oh, so the Light of Kshahrewar does have the ability to apologize, I see.” Alhaitham crossed his arms, his tone was light and filled with relief. But why would he be relieved? Kaveh stared at him with a complicated look on his face. Alhaitham’s smug smirk faded the longer Kaveh stared.
Kaveh inhaled sharply and started to close the distance between them, causing their fingers to brush against one another.
Why is he not saying anything? Did I go too far? Is he angry with me? Perhaps he really doesn’t like touching me…
Kaveh grabbed Alhaitham’s firm bicep, giving it a squeeze.
Wait, he’s touching me. He seems to like muscles, I should exercise more. Why is he still silent? Did something happen when he was gone?
A worried look crossed over Alhaitham’s face. Kaveh couldn’t resist a small smile forming on his face. “I’m surprised your ego didn’t get in the way of your apology this time.”
“The same goes for you.” The worried look on Alhaitham’s face was replaced by a faint smile. The atmosphere in their shared house had lightened considerably. Kaveh shuffled nervously, hand still gripping Alhaitham’s bicep.
“And thank you for worrying about me.” Kaveh mumbled, staring at his shoes.
I was very worried, so irrationally worried. But I’m always irrational when it comes to you. You don’t know how oppressive this house feels once my light is gone.
“Who said I was worried?” Alhaitham replied with that same smug smirk that made Kaveh want to simultaneously punch the daylights out of him and smother him with kisses.
Kaveh removed his arm, immediately missing the warmth from Alhaitham’s body. He flipped Alhaitham off and made a big show of stomping to his room. Kaveh heard Alhaitham’s quiet chuckle and footsteps walking down the hallway. It stopped at his door suddenly. Kaveh held his breath.
“Happy Birthday, Kaveh.”
Then the footsteps started again until it faded away.
That night, Kaveh buried his face in his pillows to muffle his screams.
The days passed with Kaveh’s sanity decreasing as he had to bear witness to how…vulgar Alhaitham could be. Or at least his thoughts. Hell, Kaveh didn’t even know Alhaitham had those kinds of urges. He hadn’t brought anyone home, nor had he ever stayed the night somewhere else that wasn’t part of his projects.
It became commonplace to see Kaveh’s cheeks flare up in an intense red out of nowhere. If Alhaitham noticed it, he definitely pretended like he didn’t. He was still the same-old dense, muscular, unexpressive, sexy, reserved idiot that he always was. Kaveh slapped his cheeks and groaned, sinking to the floor. A part of him thought that Alhaitham was doing this on purpose. There’s no way he was this crude!
Case in point: the three major incidents that has caused Kaveh the most grief.
Case Study #1
The Bathroom Incident
Kaveh was simply minding his own business, putting on his sheet mask to get settled in for the night, when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist.
“What are you doing?!” Kaveh stuttered, his mind reeling at the sudden closeness of his roommate. His aforementioned roommate buried his face in Kaveh’s neck, rubbing his nose against it.
Smells good…
Alhaitham grunted his response, seemingly unaware of Kaveh’s internal monologue going crazy.
So soft. Would he be mad if I took a bite?
Kaveh scrambled away from Alhaitham’s embrace and hugged his robe tighter to his chest. His face and neck were bright red against his pale skin.
“You!” Kaveh screeched, “Stop messing with me!”
“Who said I was?” Alhaitham raised an eyebrow. Luckily, he was cooperative when Kaveh kicked him (literally) out of the bathroom.
Case Study #2
And there was only one bed?! 😱
“Alhaitham, why is there a big wet spot on my bed?!” Kaveh screeched as he stomped into Alhaitham’s room. The man was sitting at his desk, reviewing some documents. Alhaitham raised an eyebrow and shrugged. Then, he pressed a button on his headset before returning back to his work.
“Hey! Are you listening to me?!” Kaveh frowned when Alhaitham didn’t deign him with a response. In fact, he didn’t seem to have heard Kaveh at all.
Well, two can play at this game. Perhaps his new abilities can come to good use for once.
Kaveh put a hand on Alhaitham’s exposed shoulder, but he was most definitely not prepared for Alhaitham’s train of thought.
If he can’t sleep on his bed, then maybe he’d sleep in my room, in my bed? Hmm, I’d have to get rid of the couches somehow though, so that they’re not an option. How would he feel like, pressed against my chest? I’d cage him in my arms and he’d press his plush ass against my—
Alhaitham didn’t pay any mind to Kaveh’s scrambling to exit the room.
Case Study #3
He really needs to stop getting plastered pt 2: Electric Boogaloo
“Damn you, Alhaitham!” Kaveh yelled in the quiet Sumeru night. The passersby didn’t spare him a glance, after all, it was quite a common sight to see the Light of Kshahrewar and the Acting Grand Sage walking home after a long night. Or rather, the Acting Grand Sage having to carry a very drunk Kaveh home bridal style.
“I should drop you.” Alhaitham threatened, loosening his grip ever so slightly. Kaveh yelpsd and wrapped his hands around Alhaitham’s neck, tightening his grip when Alhaitham continued to loosen his grip.
This feels nice…
“Okay, okay! I didn’t mean it!” Kaveh whined.
Alhaitham chuckled and pressed him closer, allowing Kaveh to feel the vibrations from his chest. He was, however, very drunk and thus continued to ramble his drunken thoughts, blissfully unaware.
“Don’t drop me!” Kaveh whined when they had to go down a steep path.
“Don’t test me.”
I would never drop you, Kaveh. Never.
Kaveh sobered up immediately, burying his face in Alhaitham’s chest so the other man didn’t see how red he was.
“Confusing, confusing man…,” Kaveh mumbled softly to the wind.
When Kaveh stepped out into the hallway, the salivating scent of panipuri hit his nose. His legs walked towards the source of the scent almost instinctively and he was greeted with the sight of Alhaitham in the kitchen.
“Good morning.” Alhaitham turned around, presenting the panipuri towards Kaveh. Kaveh blinked once, then twice, and rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not still dreaming.
Wordlessly, he took a seat at the dining table and took the first bite. It was absolutely delicious. It felt like his taste buds were on overdrive as he stuffed his face with as much panipuri as he could fit. He stuffed his face with vigor partly because he needed to take his mind off of the thoughtfulness of Alhaitham’s actions and because it was damn good. He is just a man after all, a man that was weak for some good food.
“Ith gud!” Kaveh said through a mouthful of food. The ends of Alhaitham’s eyes crinkled slightly as looked at Kaveh’s shining eyes with a smile. Kaveh leaned a bit to the side, unknowingly letting their elbows touch.
He’s beautiful.
Kaveh quickly retracted his elbow and choked as the food went down the wrong pipe. He let out guttural coughs as Alhaitham patted his back gingerly.
Him?? Beautiful?? When he just woke up without even getting dressed or doing any of his skincare or makeup?! Kaveh side-eyed Alhaitham who seemed to grow increasingly concerned with the intensity of Kaveh’s hacking. Surely, Alhaitham was referring to someone else.
Kaveh stopped coughing, staring at his ruined food. Somehow, the thought of having someone else witness the softer side of Alhaitham didn’t sit right with him. The thought of Alhaitham cooking breakfast for someone else sent a pang of hurt through his chest. He didn’t know what to make of it.
“That’s why you don’t speak while you’re chewing.” Alhaitham said, completely deadpan. He grabbed a napkin and began dabbing the spit and half-chewed food crumbs from his mouth. Kaveh looked up at Alhaitham in a daze.
Why is he still so pretty even though he looks like he got run over by a sumpter beast? Ew, his snot is dribbling. Who decides to stuff their face with food anyways? He’s an idiot, but he’s my idiot.
“Fuck you, I do not look like I got run over by a sumpter beast!” Kaveh huffed, grabbing a napkin to clean himself. Alhaitham froze in place, narrowing his eyes at Kaveh.
I didn’t say that out loud.
Shit. Kaveh was screwed. One day, his big mouth would definitely get him killed, if that day wasn’t today.
“I just remembered! I, ah, have something to do! See ya!” Kaveh choked out nervously. He ran towards the main door, reaching out for the door knob because he was so close. Then a hand grabbed the back of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks.
“Let’s talk.” Alhaitham said simply, nothing in his tone of voice giving away how he felt. Damn Alhaitham and his smartness, of course Kaveh couldn’t have hidden it from his freakishly perceptive roommate. He sighed, accepting his fate.
“Okay.”
Alhaitham pulled his towards the couch, sitting across from him. Kaveh couldn’t help but note that Alhaitham had purposefully only grabbed his shirt, and took careful caution to not make any skin on skin contact.
Fuck, this was it. Kaveh was going to be kicked out and he’d have to live on the streets again.
“So here’s the thing, please don’t be mad at me, but I’ve been reading your mind for the past few weeks. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to! Don’t kick me out, I have nowhere else to go!” Kaveh clasped his hands together in a praying motion, squeezing his eyes shut. He prayed to every deity he knew.
Alhaitham pulled his hand towards him, interrupting Kaveh mid-chant. His touch held an uncharacteristic gentleness in them, and his eyes were alight with amusement. Kaveh pouted, interlocking their hands together and looking away.
How adorable.
“It’s not funny!”
“Oh, but it is.” A low chuckle escaped from Alhaitham’s throat, sending a tingle down Kaveh’s spine. Kaveh covered the bottom half of his face with his other hand to hide his flushed face, still refusing to look at Alhaitham.
Look at me.
“No.”
We’re quite literally holding hands.
“No.”
Alhaitham sighed. “Please?” At that, Kaveh finally glanced up.
“Why would I ever kick you out?” Alhaitham asked gently, massaging the back of Kaveh’s hand with his thumb.
Why would I kick out what makes this house a home?
“Because I’m annoying and disturbing your peace and quiet.” Kaveh slumped back onto the couch, his arm over his eyes. Alhaitham stayed quiet and a long, tense silence fell over them. The thumb that ran back and forth over Kaveh’s hand froze as well.
Do you truly think I’m that cruel? That I don’t care for you at all?
Kaveh stopped breathing for just that moment. His heart beat so rapidly that it almost overpowered anything that reached his ears. Something welled up deep inside his chest that he fought desperately to keep down.
What am I doing wrong?
That compelled Kaveh to finally speak, to reassure Alhaitham that he had done nothing wrong, that the problem lay in him.
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Kaveh whispered, letting his free hand fall to his side. He stared up at the ceiling blankly. “It’s just—, I don’t know.“
“Kaveh, I’m not a mind reader, I can't know these things without you telling me.” Alhaitham said gravely, unease alight in his eyes. Kaveh decided that he really didn’t like that look. Alhaitham was supposed to be confident and secure, not anxious and uneasy. It pained him to know that he was the cause of this.
Please, tell me so I can be better.
“You have so much going for you,” Kaveh started, his voice just barely above a whisper. “I’m an architect that’s past my prime.”
Alhaitham was silent, so he kept going. “You’ve told me many times before, that I’m a leech, a drunkard, a naive fool. And you’re right.” Kaveh closed his eyes again, cursing himself inwardly when he felt a few traitorous tears slip out. “There’s something fundamentally wrong with me, and I don’t know why or how to fix it.
“Perhaps, I’m simply not built to be loved.” Kaveh said so quietly that Alhaitham had to strain his ears to even hear it. The ball of emotion welled up in his chest, rose and rose, until he couldn’t keep it down anymore, and it was brought up to the surface. All of his deepest, darkest, unsightly emotions were brought to the surface. It was like a dam had broken and Kaveh was left to drown.
What was Alhaitham’s expression right now, seeing Kaveh at his rawest, truest, and ugliest form? He wouldn’t know; he didn’t dare to look.
A warm thumb wiped the stray tears away. Kaveh opened his tear-filled eyes to see Alhaitham’s deadpan expression, something familiar that Kaveh could cling on to.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you in every sense of the word. I love you.
Kaveh’s eyes widened, Alhaitham continued to wipe away the tears now cascading down Kaveh’s face.
“You can say anything, do anything, and I will not abandon you. Show me your worst, and let me love you anyways.” Alhaitham said, with the confidence expected of the Alhaitham that Kaveh knew. Alhaitham didn’t lie, he never saw any reason to lie. At that moment, Kaveh knew that all of Alhaitham’s words rang true.
“It’s a lot more than most people can handle.” Kaveh chuckled, as one last attempt to pull away: to give Alhaitham another chance to reconsider, to save himself the hurt when Alhaitham realized that he wanted too much, cared too much, felt too much; before they got permanently tied up in each other’s souls.
“I’m not most people.” That smug smirk appeared on Alhaitham’s face once again and this time, Kaveh couldn’t help but mirror him with a smile. That smug, egotistical bastard, always trying to do the impossible.
The first thing Kaveh felt when he woke up was a persistent warmth on his back. He turned around in the bed and came face to face with Alhaitham. Kaveh snuggled in closer, sighing peacefully as the morning sun crept through their window. It was quiet, silent.
Huh, he couldn’t read minds anymore after all. Well, no matter.