Work Text:
Peter hadn’t wanted to spend his Friday this way; sitting in the rain on a fire escape trying to get a stalker photo through someone’s window.
It was for work. Not that Peter was exactly comfortable getting a picture of a fellow masked vigilante for Jameson. The only reason he had been convinced was because the new ‘hero’ in New York was killing criminals. And he needed the money. And Jameson had threatened to fire him if he started siding with ‘the likes of the spider menace and his friends’.
Peter had followed the masked man as Spiderman before changing into his regular clothes and climbing the fire escape.
Armed with his camera and some hidden web shooters he settled down to wait for an opening where the man had his mask off.
If people saw Spiderman with a camera they might make the connection between him and Peter Parker. Not that people paid much attention to Peter Parker, he never changed his voice and so far no one had noticed.
Ten minutes, fifteen, half an hour, two hours. The man had walked around a bit before settling on the couch. He was facing away from peter and his mask had stayed on the entire time.
Peter was having trouble keeping his eyes open. At two and a half hours he caught himself drifting off and decided to try again on a night it wasn’t raining. As he started packing up his camera he looked one last time into the small apartment only to see the man was gone. Seconds later Peter’s spider sense warned him of danger and he looked up in time to see the masked man grinning down at him from the level above. A small canister spouting smoke was dropped at Peter’s feet and before he could even think of using his web shooters the world went dark.
~~~
Peter’s head was pounding when he woke up. He was also very uncomfortably tied to an arm chair with some incredibly strong restraints.
“You are weirdly strong you know? You broke the zip ties while you were sleeping; I had to break out my good restraints.” A voice spoke from across the room and Peter raised his head to see the man lying on the couch in front of him.
“…Sorry, I must have had a bad dream. Something about being kidnapped.” He said with a glare.
“It’s not kidnapping if you were trespassing!” The man protested, pointing an accusatory finger at Peter.
“No, I am pretty sure it’s still kidnapping. I could be fined for climbing a fire escape. You drugged me and tied me to a chair.”
“Oh Right! I also looked through your bag. You, baby boy, are a photographer.” He said the word like Peter’s job involved setting fire to orphanages. “And we all know what happens to nosy photographers who take creepy stalker photos.”
Peter had an idea based on the men that had been recently stabbed and shot in various alley ways. He sighed and looked down, “I am sorry, okay? I don’t want to be taking photos of people like that. It’s the worst and I always get permission before photographing people, especially masked heroes. But you have been killing people and my boss threatened my job if I didn’t get a photo of you without your mask.” Peter spoke honestly, if anything he was relieved to have an excuse, if Jameson believed him that is. “I really need the job.” He mumbled.
The masked man was silent for a minute, seemingly contemplating Peter’s words. “You really need it? Couldn’t just go part time in a coffee shop?”
“Uh no, that wouldn’t work for me.”
“Why not?”
“I keep irregular hours, freelance works best for me.” Peter told most people he was taking online classes in photography. He wasn’t, he was being spider man. Jameson didn’t pay enough for online classes on top of eating.
“Hmm, you take photos of other masked heroes?”
Peter nodded, “Mostly Spiderman.”
“PARKER!” The man shouted and jumped off the couch. “You’re that kid who knows Spidey! What’s he like? Has he heard of me? Names Deadpool by the way, I saw him following me a couple of days ago after I stabbed some smugglers, do you think he would eat tacos with me?”
Peter jerked slightly at the yell and sat in confusion as ‘Deadpool’ went on a fairly fan-boyish rant. “I-I don’t know. I don’t really speak to him much; he just helped me out in high school when I needed some money. Sometimes he tells me where he will be patrolling but that’s it.”
“Aww, I would love to meet Spidey. You sure you don’t have his number or something? Spider signal? Carrier pigeon? Magic owl?”
Peter shook his head. “No, and he doesn’t like it when people are killed in his city. Even criminals. They should be turned into the police.”
Deadpool sighed in disappointment. “I suppose he is a bit of a goody two shoes…Would he be upset if I killed you?”
“YES! Yes he would! If you killed me Spiderman would never eat tacos with you!” Peter didn’t know where Deadpool had gotten the gun, it appeared out of nowhere, but it was pointing directly at his head and Peter began to panic. He started pulling a little desperately at the metal rope holding him down. If he could at least get enough of his wrist free to work his web shooters…
“You said you barely know him, he won’t be that upset.” Deadpool’s teasing tones turned darker, “Besides, you tried to take my picture baby boy. I really hate photographers.”
Deadpool clicked off the safety and Peter threw all his weight to one side. The chair tipped over and broke enough for Peter to get an arm free. He webbed the gun away, if a bit awkwardly. It ended up sliding under the couch. Peter focused on getting his remaining limbs free as he saw Deadpool approach out of the corner of his eye.
“Peter. I think that you might be spider man.”
“Really? Who would have guessed?” Peter struggled with the chair but managed to get free; he jumped away from Deadpool and stuck to the wall. There wasn’t much point in hiding his powers at this point.
“Want to go out for tacos?”
“What? No! You were going to kill me! You killed those criminals!”
“But they are criminals! Come on, one taco! I’ll buy and I won’t kill any more bad guys. Pleeeeaase?”
“No more deaths?”
“Cross my heart!”
“…Fine.”