Chapter Text
Elend sat beside her bed. That comforted her. Though she slept fitfully, a piece of her knew that he was there, watching over her. It felt odd to be beneath his protective care, for she was the one who usually did the guarding. Her short periods of consciousness availed him seated, sometimes reading, sometimes sleeping, other times watching her with a curious look on his face.
So, when she was fully awake, she wasn’t surprised to find him in the chair beside her bed, reading quietly by soft candlelight. As she came fully awake, she didn’t jump up, or search the room with apprehension. Instead, she sat up slowly, pulling the blanket up under her arms, then took a sip of the water that had been left for her beside the bed, her eyes focused on him.
Elend closed the book and turned toward her, smiling. Vin searched those soft eyes, delving for hints of the horror she had seen before. The disgust, the terror, the shock. He knew her for a monster. How could he smile so kindly?
“Why?” she asked quietly, softly clearing her hoarse throat.
He placed his book on the stand beside her glass of water and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the bed. “Why what?”
“Why wait here?” she said. “I’m not dying—I remember that much.”
Elend shrugged, a soft look overtaking his features. “I just wanted to be near you.”
She said nothing. A coal stove burned in the corner, though it needed more fuel. Winter was close, and it was looking to be a cold one. She wore only a nightgown; she’d asked the maids not to put one on her, but by then Sazed’s draught—to help her sleep—had already begun taking effect, and she hadn’t had the energy to argue. She pulled the blanket closer. Only then did she realise something she should have noticed earlier.
“Elend! You’re not wearing your uniform.”
He looked down at his clothing—a nobleman’s suit from his old wardrobe, with an unbuttoned maroon vest. The jacket was too big for him. He shrugged. “No need to continue the charade anymore, Vin.”
A charade. Is that what we’ve both been doing? You as king? And me? And us together? Vin shook her head to dislodge those thoughts. “Cett is king?” she asked with a sinking feeling.
Elend shook his head. “Penrod.”
She frowned. “That doesn’t make sense.” Not according to what they knew.
“I know,” he groaned out. “We aren’t sure why the merchants betrayed Cett—but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Penrod is a far better choice anyway. Than either Cett, or me.”
Vin felt her heart clench painfully in her chest. “You know that’s not true.”
Elend sat back contemplatively. “I don’t know, Vin. I thought I was the better man. Yet, while I thought up all kinds of schemes to keep the throne from Cett, I never really considered the one plan that would have been certain to defeat him—that of giving my support to Penrod, combining our votes. What if my arrogance had landed us with Cett? I wasn’t thinking of the people.”
“Elend…” she said, laying a hand on his arm.
And he flinched.
Oh. Vin swallowed thickly.
It was slight, almost unnoticeable, and he covered it quickly. But the damage was done. Damage she had caused, damage within him. He had finally seen—really seen—what she was. He’d fallen in love with a lie.
“What?” he said, looking into her face.
“Nothing,” Vin said. She withdrew her hand. Inside, something cracked and a heat spread behind her eyes. I love him so much. Why? Why did I let him see? If only I’d had a choice!
He’s betraying you, Reen’s voice whispered in the back of her mind. Everyone will leave you eventually, Vin.
Vin had to blink to fight off the threatening tears. She was just so tired . Tired of constantly living in fear. Tired of the never ending problems that they faced. Tired of knowing she doesn’t deserve to be with Elend. Elend who so surely believes he’s not worthy of being king. She wished Elend saw himself the way she saw him but he was insecure, living in Kelsier’s shadow.
Vin paused at her thoughts. Elend lived with the weight of not being the man the people wanted. He wasn’t Kelsier, and he didn’t need to be but it was hard to believe so when people kept reminding him of how different Kelsier would have done something. He had been doing so well, Tindwyl’s training building his confidence, but being deposed had taken him back to his feeling of inadequacy.
But Vin didn’t see him that way. Elend was worthy.
She thought of herself and her own unworthiness. Being the Heir of the Survivor yet unable to protect the people. Loving Elend yet not being good for him.
I never asked him, Vin realised. Elend had shared his feelings about being King and she’d been quick to reassure him but she’d never shared hers. Do I not trust him? No, that’s stupid. He’s the person I trust the most. She was scared. Scared of opening up herself to the possibility of being hurt but by doing so she’s done a disservice to herself and to Elend.
Elend was glancing towards the shutters of the room. He was about to speak but Vin beat him to it. It was now or never.
“Actually.” Elend turned his attention to her. “It’s not nothing.”
Vin stared at her hands, clenching the blankets with white fists. “You,” she ground out, “You flinched when I tried, tried to touch you.”
Elend’s eyes widened and his hand flashed forward to grab hers. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t realised.”
“Are you scared of me?” Her voice was soft, barely audible if Elend hadn’t been sitting so close to her.
Elend tangled their fingers, interlocking them in a tight grip. “Of course not. I—” he paused. Vin stared at him and Elend swallowed before continuing. “When you made that man’s head explode, I was surprised. I know you’re Mistborn and you’ve been fighting assassins but I never realised how gruesome it sometimes could be.”
Vin started to tug her hand out of his, a feeling of dread taking over, but Elend held on fast. “No, please listen. I’m not used to such violence and in the moment I was scared but not of you, never of you. You’re an all powerful Mistborn,” he laughed as he spoke. “You killed the Lord Ruler. You’re powerful and so one of a kind that I sometimes wonder what you see in a man like me. A sheltered noble who couldn’t even hold onto the throne.”
Vin couldn’t help but stare. She watched Elend as he directed his stare to their hands and laughed. She laughed and Elend turned to her, a frown beginning to distort his face. Vin tugged on their hands and brought them up to her lips. She kissed the back on Elend’s hand before leaning her forehead against it.
He’s going to betray you, Reen whispered, an insistent voice in her head.
No, he won’t.
"Elend,” she whispered. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
She felt movement and a warm body made its way beside her. Elend removed his hand from her grasp and wrapped it around her shoulders. She leaned into him.
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say. Of course you do. If anything, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
“No,” she said firmly. Carefully, she made space on the bed and tugged him after her. They sat at the centre of the bed, Elend’s back against the headboard with her leaning against his side. “You do. You’re a good man Elend. Better than most. I love you. King or not. Whether you’re on the throne or simply a scholar, I will always love you.”
“Why?” he whispered his disbelief. His arms tightened around her, gentle enough not to press against her injuries.
“Because you’re you.” It was simple really. At times, she had felt a fool for falling in love with the first nobleman whom she grew to know. But now she realised that her love of Elend had not come about because of simple convenience or proximity. It had come because of who Elend was. The fact that she had found him first was an event of incredible fortune and if they’d met at a different time, in a different place, she couldn’t imagine not falling in love with him.
She felt a kiss pressed against her head.
“Vin, there are no words to describe how amazing you are. I called you strong, beautiful and one of a kind but those are just the few words I could describe how much in awe I am of you. I have to admit, you saying you don’t deserve me is a bit of a shock. Anyone would be lucky to be with you, to be loved by you.” He paused.
Vin, having shielded her eyes from the tears gathering there, was forced to tilt her head back from where it rested against Elend’s chest. She was surprised to see tears in Elend’s eyes as well. “I guess I haven’t done a good job of showing you but I love you Vin. Completely, with all that I am, I love you.”
He leaned down and softly pressed her lips. She kissed back, just as gently.
Vin laughed wetly, her tears mixing up with his. “We’re both idiots.”
Elend laughed and swiped his hands under her eyes, resting his hand on her bruised cheek. “We are.” He tugged at the end of her hair and Vin snorted, digging further into his arms. “But now we know not to be stupid.”
Vin felt at ease, the worry of being abandoned having been settled in Elend’s comforting arms and warm, embracing words. He loved her. He truly did and nothing was going to make him change his mind. The last few weeks had taken a toll on her confidence but now she felt secure—safe. Not even Zane’s words haunted her.
Zane.
“Elend, there’s something I need to tell you.”