Chapter Text
Carefully closing the front door of the modest little forest cottage he calls home with one hand, Feldspar reaches up with the other to unclasp his cloak and hang it on the mahogany coat rack next to the door. He slips the strap of his brown leather satchel, filled almost to the point of bursting, over his head and tucks it under his left arm as he turns his wrist to check the time displayed on the knockoff Fossil watch he's currently wearing. Breathing a sigh of relief when he sees that he still has a few minutes before six o'clock, Feldspar kicks off his boots and heads into the living room.
He tiredly flops down on the small sofa, picking up the remote from the glass coffee table and bringing the TV to life with the single push of a bright red button. The screen lights up in an instant, displaying the last scene of an old classic sitcom, but Feldspar has no interest in that particular program at the moment. He's much more invested in what is going to be airing on this channel in approximately – he glances down at his watch again – two minutes and twenty-seven seconds.
Leaning against the back of the sofa, Feldspar begins carefully removing items from the satchel nestled in his lap, lining them up on the cushion next to him. He's been out in the city all day, hard at work in his less than noble profession since nine this morning, and he's pleased to see that it all seems to have paid off quite well today. He'd gotten a ridiculously good haul from the jewelry store on Elm Street alone; the stuff he'd managed to nab from their display cases should definitely earn him enough to live pretty comfortably for at least a month or two, if not longer, once he can get over to Clyde's to exchange it all for some cash.
Or, well, maybe not all of it. Feldspar lifts his favorite of the day's stolen treasures, smiling down at the tiny bracelet charm sitting in the palm of his hand as his heart swells with a very specific sense of pride. He's been scouring all the shops in the city that sell anything remotely related to jewelry for months looking for this item and he almost can't believe he's actually managed to finally get his hands on it. Everywhere he's gone, it's been sold out, and all his stealthy eavesdropping had gotten him nowhere – any time a customer would inquire as to whether or not a shop would be getting more in, the question was always met with an apologetic shrug and a noncommittal shake of the sales clerk's head.
He's not surprised it's been this hard to find. When the Freedom Pals had first announced their collaboration with Pandora, and revealed each of their exclusive, one of a kind, limited edition charms, designed to be perfect little replicas of the heroes, there had been no doubt in Feldspar's mind that Wonder Tweek's would be the first to disappear from the shelves. The Elementalist is, hands down, the most beloved member of the Freedom Pals, despite his many protests whenever Feldspar points that fact out to him. All that love is absolutely well-deserved, in the thief's opinion – he's only been friends with Wonder Tweek for just about nine months now, but it had been incredibly obvious to even him from the very beginning that the blonde hero has the purest, kindest heart of the entire team of crime fighters. After all, when he'd come across Feldspar for the first time, he hadn't immediately judged him by his appearance, the way so many others often do; he'd treated the thief with nothing but respect even though Feldspar had had his arms full of a suspicious amount of apples at the time.
In all fairness, part of it might have had to do with the fact that there simply hadn't been time for Wonder Tweek to judge him. It had been, after all, during their very first encounter that Feldspar had – inadvertently, though he's still never admitted that to Wonder Tweek – assisted the hero in catching the criminal that the Freedom Pals had been in the middle of chasing. The whole thing had been a total accident. He'd been slinking through the city's Saturday morning outdoor farmers' market, surreptitiously snagging various fruits and vegetables from the booths as he passed by, stowing them out of sight inside the many hidden pockets of his cloak within the blink of an eye. He didn't usually make a habit of stealing food, preferring to put his talents to use elsewhere, but he'd just had Clyde spend the whole weekend and his cupboards were terrifyingly bare.
Feldspar had actually been just about to leave the town square and head home when he'd spied the apple stand. Unable to resist a good crunchy fruit, he'd cautiously wandered over and made a big show of picking up each apple under the guise of 'inspecting' it before tucking it into the crook of his arm. A group of grandmas were exchanging pleasantries and photos of their grandchildren just to the thief's left, and if he timed it just right, he'd be able to sneak away with his mountain of apples before the fruit vendor even knew what hit him.
Unfortunately for Feldspar, his carefully thought-out plan had disintegrated into nothing when the Freedom Pals had made their appearance, bursting onto the scene like a gang of shiny, spandex-sporting Kool-Aid men. Their leader, some guy with a giant red S plastered to his chest, had immediately begun barking orders to his teammates, directing them to do things like "guard the perimeter" and "escort the civilians to safety" and it had taken every ounce of willpower Feldspar possessed not to laugh out loud because who talked like that? For a brief moment, he'd thought about shooting some sort of snarky comment in that particular hero's direction, but had ultimately decided against it because, well… He was a thief, after all, and although he doubted the entire team of superheroes had shown up just to apprehend him for swiping a few apples – and maybe enough carrots and broccoli to feed a small army – it didn't seem quite in his best interests to antagonize someone who had the authority to throw him in jail on a whim.
So, instead, Feldspar had turned his back on the heroes and begun quietly making his way towards the parking lot, but that's when it had happened. Out of nowhere, a blur of teal and silver had shot through the crowd, knocking into the thief before he had any kind of chance to brace himself for impact. With an, "Unf," Feldspar had lurched forwards, all of his purloined apples tumbling to the ground and rolling off in all directions while he flailed his arms in a vain attempt to regain his balance. He'd hit the concrete with a thud, but all in all, things could have been worse, because it turned out that teal and silver blur was also a person – and said person had ever so graciously cushioned Feldspar's fall, keeping him from smashing his face on the ground.
"Unhand me!" the person had screeched, while a disoriented Feldspar was attempting to catch his breath. "You don't know who you're dealin' with! Why, you just wait till my minions get here, boy howdy!"
"Your what–" Feldspar had started to ask, scrunching his face up in absolute bewilderment. Before he could say another word, however, another voice rang out from above them, and the thief's attention was instantly drawn elsewhere. Rubbing his temples, he'd looked up to find the source of the sound and, upon locating it, had been rendered completely speechless.
"Professor Chaos!" Suspended in midair, two tiny twin hurricanes swirling beneath his feet, floated Wonder Tweek, the golden glow of the sunlight illuminating the blonde Elementalist from behind in a way that made him look almost impossibly angelic. "You are under arrest!" Feldspar had watched, utterly enamored, as Wonder Tweek descended to the ground and extended one of his arms out towards him. God, he'd seen pictures of him in the paper, but somehow he was even more attractive in person. "Thank you," the hero had said, offering Feldspar a heart-melting smile as two more Freedom Pals appeared and hoisted Professor Chaos to his feet, affixing a pair of handcuffs to his wrists. "We've been after the Professor for a long time, and thanks to you, he won't be able to terrorize the city anymore."
"Oh," Feldspar had replied, dusting off his cloak in what he hoped was a nonchalant sort of way. Reaching up to grasp the hero's hand, he'd risen to his feet, doing his best not to lose any of the items stored in his cloak in the process, "uh, it was no trouble, uh," he had paused, unsure how he was supposed to address a superhero, "Your…Highness?"
Wonder Tweek let out a little laugh, shaking his head and sending his blonde tangles flying. "It's Wonder Tweek," he'd corrected, and Feldspar had immediately felt his cheeks redden, because Goddammit, he'd known that. Cocking his head, he'd gazed at the thief with those gorgeous green eyes of his and inquired, "And you are?"
Before Feldspar had even been able to open his mouth, that same guy wearing the red S had sauntered over and casually slung one arm around Wonder Tweek's shoulders. "Hey, honey," he'd said, his words directed at the blonde even as he eyed Feldspar with a sneer of distaste, "is this guy bothering you?"
Dropping Wonder Tweek's hand like he'd been burned, Feldspar had backed up and busied himself with pretending to adjust his cloak. Of course Wonder Tweek had a boyfriend – why wouldn't he? What had he been thinking, that just because he'd totally-on-purpose helped stop some tinfoil-covered professor of Evilology from rampaging through the farmers' market and heard a literal chorus of angels singing at the sight of him that Wonder Tweek would be interested in him? Jesus Christ, they'd only interacted for something like ten seconds, Feldspar told himself harshly, glaring down at his shoes. You can't fall in love in ten seconds.
Back in the present, Feldspar blissfully sighs as he cups the charm in his palm, moving it slightly to catch the light. Little Charm Wonder Tweek gleams back at him, the sparkles in his eyes still paling in comparison to his namesake. He can't wait to give it to the real Wonder Tweek. A tingle of excitement runs up Feldspar's spine as he lightly trails one of his fingers along the spiky points of Charm Wonder Tweek's hair, his mind already running wild with thoughts of just how the hero might thank him for acquiring this treasure for him. He can already perfectly visualize the dazzling smile the blonde might bestow upon him, which would be more than enough on its own, but maybe… Feldspar sighs, sinking deeper in the sofa cushions. Maybe this will actually earn him a hug from the Elementalist. Unless that would be too weird– No, the thief reasons, frowning slightly at himself, it wouldn't be weird for Wonder Tweek to hug his friend. Friends hug each other all the time! At least, if Clyde knows anything – and as much as he doubts his best friend's claims of infinite wisdom on a daily basis, Feldspar can't see any flaws in this particular declaration.
The watch on his wrist suddenly emits a series of beeps, to the tune of "Funkytown", and Feldspar leans forward, his gaze glued to the television screen and his heart beating rapidly in his chest in anticipation. He's not usually one to get swept up in any celebrity hype, but a few of the Freedom Pals – Wonder Tweek included, of course – are supposed to be taking part in an extra-special live segment to kick off the six o'clock news tonight, and there's no way he's going to miss watching it. Since they've been friends, Wonder Tweek has managed to defy every stereotype Feldspar has ever known about superheroes, and the thief has actually grown to be very defensive of the blonde and his team.
Well, most of his team, anyway. Feldspar's eyes narrow slightly as the Channel 5 News intro begins to play, his lip curling up in mild disgust. Within seconds, though, his expression morphs into one of concerned confusion; the regular introductory credits for the news have just been interrupted by an obnoxiously bright red banner scrolling across the bottom of the screen. Outside, thunder rumbles in the distance and Feldspar flicks his eyes towards the window. Maybe this is some kind of severe weather warning?
"We interrupt this broadcast for a special news bulletin." The image on the screen changes to a shot of the two regular news anchors, seated at their usual desk, both of them wide-eyed but trying their best to deliver the news with the utmost professionalism. "This is coming to us live from just outside the studio," the female anchor states with a glance towards her partner, "where it appears that just moments ago, an altercation has broken out between two members of the Freedom Pals."
Feldspar's breath hitches in his throat and a cold feeling of dread begins to spread through his limbs. "What kind of altercation?" he mutters under his breath, clutching the small Wonder Tweek charm tightly in one fist, anxiously tapping the fingers of his other hand against his leg.
"That's right," the male anchor smoothly picks up the flow of the news report. "We've sent a cameraman outside to try to capture the drama as it unfolds. Let's see what he has to show us."
The image flickers for a moment before a new picture floods the screen. As soon as he sees it, Feldspar's heart actually stops beating for a moment. There, directly in front of the camera, are Wonder Tweek and that red-S-chested douchebag. Super Craig. A small crowd has gathered off to the side of the two heroes, the tips of Mosquito's wings just barely visible in the shot, but Feldspar's eyes are locked on Wonder Tweek – and the tears that are streaming down his face as he desperately reaches out for his boyfriend's hand.
"Craig, please," he's practically begging through sobs, "just listen to me, I didn't–" Over his head, a bolt of lightning shoots down from the sky, striking the ground just inches away from Wonder Tweek's right foot. It's followed by another clap of thunder, this one so loud it rattles the framed photos hanging on Feldspar's living room wall.
"Listen to you?!" Super Craig fires back with a snort of derisive laughter. "I've been listening to you our entire relationship, Tweek, and look where that got me!"
The female news anchor has evidently followed the cameraman outside, as her voice can now be heard whispering, "According to some eyewitness reports, earlier this evening, the Freedom Pals were called to investigate a break-in at a local comic book shop. Super Craig and Wonder Tweek," the camera zooms in on the aforementioned heroes as if extra clarification on their identities is at all required at this point, "attempted to use their patented Ultimate attack to vanquish the perpetrator but, despite multiple attempts, failed each time."
"What?" Feldspar mumbles, literally on the edge of his seat, every neuron in his brain going haywire as he tries to make sense of what he's hearing. "That's not possible."
"As you know," the news anchor continues, still in that same hushed whisper, "the strength behind their Ultimate attack, known as Eros Eruption, is drawn from the love between the partners. The fact that these two couldn't even generate a few sparks tonight has everyone wondering – what could have happened to drain their love for each other? One exclusive source believes they have the answer."
Super Craig steps back, out of Wonder Tweek's reach, ignoring the blonde's anguished pleas. He holds up a small, shiny object, dangling it in the air between them; Feldspar recognizes what it is in an instant and his stomach drops. "Oh no," he blurts out, covering his mouth with one hand to keep himself from screaming. "Oh shit."
"You call this a friend?" Super Craig shouts, shaking Wonder Tweek's charm bracelet furiously. "What kind of friend buys another guy's boyfriend jewelry? Do you think I'm a fuckin' idiot?"
"It isn't like that–" Wonder Tweek tries to protest, but Super Craig doesn't even let him finish his sentence.
"It isn't like that?!" he repeats, the rage in his words so intense that even Feldspar shrinks away from the television a bit. "God, you must really think I'm fuckin' stupid, don't you? How long have you been cheating on me, Tweek? How long have you been going around behind my back with that dirty fuckin' thief?"
A collective gasp rises up from the crowd in attendance when Super Craig spits out that accusation. Somewhere offscreen, a voice calls out, "Wonder Tweek would never associate with a criminal!" and a rush of guilt floods Feldspar's body. Oh, God, this is all his fault, isn't it? He should have known better than to actually think he could be friends with a hero like Wonder Tweek. What the hell had he been thinking?
"Well?" Super Craig sneers as Wonder Tweek, pale as a ghost, remains silent. "Are you going to tell them?"
His shoulders slumping, Wonder Tweek can only look down at the ground, defeated, as a small, dark cloud materializes above his head. "We're just friends," he says, weakly, shivering beneath the pouring rain the cloud unleashes upon him. "I swear–"
Super Craig drops the charm bracelet, whirling around on his heel to dramatically turn his back on the Elementalist. "You see," he laments, catching sight of the camera at last and speaking directly to it, holding a hand to his head and grimacing like he's in unimaginable pain. "You see what I've been putting up with?" He lets out a long sigh, just the sound of it making Feldspar's skin crawl and he wishes he could reach right through the screen to punch Super Craig in his smug-ass stupid face. "I just can't believe he threw our whole relationship away like that. What kind of hero does that sort of thing?"
A chorus of boos erupts from the crowd, all of them directed at the miserable, drenched blonde hero literally standing in a puddle of his own tears. Feldspar jumps to his feet, not sure where exactly he's planning to go or what he's planning to do; but before he can make any kind of move, the air beneath Wonder Tweek's feet transforms into small hurricanes and the hero takes off flying, the rain cloud following him up, up, and away.
Feldspar switches off the TV, his heart aching, not wanting to see any more of whatever bullshit Super Craig is going to be spewing to the camera. He pulls a laundry basket out from beneath the coffee table and carefully sweeps the items he'd lined up on the sofa into it and then, after making sure he hadn't damaged it, ever so carefully places the Wonder Tweek charm back into his satchel. He eyes his cloak, hanging on the coat rack, as he contemplates what to do for a minute, and then races over to grab it. He doesn't know where an upset Wonder Tweek might go, but he'll search the whole city to find him if he has to. He really shouldn't be alone at a time like this.
The thief has just gotten his cloak and boots on and is moving to turn the lights off on his way out of the cottage when there's a thump from outside and then a knock on the door. Without even stopping to consider the possibility that Super Craig has sent someone over here to kill him for supposedly messing with his and Wonder Tweek's relationship, Feldspar reaches out and pulls the door wide open.
There, on his doorstep, stands Wonder Tweek, dripping water everywhere. The hero's arms are wrapped tightly around himself and he's shaking, his soaking wet hair matted to his face, which is streaked with tears. He sniffles once, lifting his head just enough to meet Feldspar's gaze, his normally brilliant green eyes dull and bloodshot. For a long moment, he and Feldspar just stare at each other and then the thief tentatively, cautiously, holds his arms open. With a heartbroken, strangled sob, Wonder Tweek takes a single step forward before collapsing into them, burying his face in Feldspar's chest and clinging onto him with everything he has. At a complete loss as to how to handle this situation, Feldspar hovers his hand above the hero's back, eventually giving it a few gentle pats, too afraid to do anything else.
"Come on," he says, surprising himself with how softly his voice comes out, not at all matching the chaos he's feeling inside, "let's get you dried off before you catch a cold."