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You trace invisible patterns on the table, mind adrift with everything you know, your companions are quiet, and you assume they feel the same. Most of the patrons at the inn have already left, and you know it's only a matter of time before someone arrives to inform you that the inn will be closing. But you stay, basking in the silence, as opposed to the roar of the flames you heard this morning.
As opposed to the shrill screams of a dying woman.
Sensing a heavy stare, you glance up to meet Hadrian's troubled gaze.
"Are you alright?" He asks tentatively, and from the corner of your eye, you see Alessa's cold eyes on you as well.
You peek at your worn glove. Your thoughts are consumed with so many things, the Fake Eye, the Pirate King, the upcoming ball.
But most importantly, Baiae and the darkness blooming on the palm of your hand.
But you can't tell them that, so you heave a dramatic sigh and flop back into your chair, a grin plastered on your face.
"Don't worry, I've eaten my fill," You laugh, patting your full belly while looking at the two, "And now that everything has settled, all I want to do is sleep."
Alessa nods, "We can discuss our strategy tomorrow, for now, it is best if everyone has some rest."
Hadrian looks at the two of you, and from the slight frown on his face, you can tell he isn't convinced. But he must be tired as well, because he sighs and slowly nods.
"I will see you both tomorrow," He says and stands up, a soft smile on his face. His gaze lingers on you for a moment too long, but he nods again and leaves. You watch as he walks away before turning to Alessa and meeting her icy eyes. Cold, but warm. Warm for you. The thought sends a flutter to your gut and you smile at her, your hand snakes toward hers, her sharp fingers meeting yours halfway.
You lean close and place a small kiss on her cheek, expecting cold, but her face is warm, and as you pull away you notice the pink dusting her face. Your smile morphs into a grin and Alessa narrows her eyes at you.
"What?" She all but hisses at you, squeezing your fingers.
You shake your head, your grin never faltering as you kiss her again, this time, pressing your lips together. Your gloved hand finds its way to her face, caressing her sharp cheekbones.
"Nothing," You tell her, but you almost forget everything that has gone wrong. Everything that is wrong with you.
It means everything.
Alessa's eyes roam your face, searching, and when they pause on the side of your complexion, at the mark marring your face, you can't help but bite your lip.
"Like what you see?" You try with false nerve, doing your best to shake off the weight. You expect her to huff and call you a fool, thus lightening the mood. And your weight.
"Very," She answers instead, her voice a gentle whisper. The pink darkens as her lips leave the corner of your mouth. You wonder if she is mocking you, but the hoar frost in her gaze has thawed, there is nothing but sincerity on her face.
"I know that I might not be the most suitable person for when you need comfort," She quietly begins, her thumb moving over your knuckles, "But I wish to try. You can speak to me whenever you have any qualms and I will listen," Alessa averts her eyes, and if you didn't know better, one could almost say she seemed bashful.
Your heart thunders, and you fight to hear your thoughts over it.
Thoughts that leave a bitter aftertaste. Thoughts of your secrets. Guilt hangs from your neck, and suddenly, all you want to do is go to bed.
"Alessa," You hold her chin, gently turning her head to face you. She waits for your response, and that is when you notice how stiff she is. The guarded look in her eye.
"Thank you," Her shoulders seem to relax. You mean it. You know she cares for you, and yet, you still relish her concern for you. "I will remember it. But I truly am alright."
You pause, meeting her eye before grinning. She tenses again, and your grin widens as you run your hand through your hair, fighting the yawn that threatens to escape.
"But if you really are that worried-" You start, but she immediately snaps at you.
"Why would I worry for a fool like you? We have enough troubles as is."
Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Her eyes flutter as your thumb runs over her bottom lip, and her frown grows. And still, you like it, because you catch the dancing flames in her cold blue stare. Because you catch the slight quirk of her lips and the faint red accompanying her freckles.
"Ah, Alessa. How you pain me so," You sigh dramatically, "Such sharp words, they cut through my heart."
She raises her chin at you, her otherwise mask of indifference broken by a smirk, "I have no sympathy for you, but perhaps I can soothe your distress." She moves closer, her gaze on your lips, but before her lips can graze yours, the yawn you fight finally overpowers you and spills. You can't help but flush in embarrassment, but to your surprise, Alessa chuckles, the sound so pleasant your heart skips a beat.
She kisses your cheek instead, her smirk softens, and you can see the fondness on her face.
"You are a fool," She says, but it sounds more endearing than insulting, "Tis' late, we should head to our rooms," She gets up, and you follow her, fingers still laced together as you walk to your room.
Despite the growing fog in your thoughts, you feel light, the weight has not disappeared, but it lingers in the far corner of your mind. And it should, because as your eyes bounce from each speck on Alessa's face, you cannot imagine thinking of anything else.
You stop at the door to your room and turn to Alessa, a grin on your face as you bend a leg and bow, placing a delicate kiss on her knuckles.
"It was a pleasure, my dear lady," She scoffs, but her hand does not leave your grasp, your grin softens.
"I am no lady," She tells you, and you don't miss how the fire flickers in her eye.
"Oh?" You feign surprise, "My apologies for assuming, it is just that your beauty rivals that of a noble."
A small smile grows on her face, the one you know she saves for you. And this time you know, by the way her eyes bounce between your own and her cheeks flush with colour, she is bashful.
"You jest, but I appreciate your words nonetheless." She tells you and you hear the sincerity in her voice. She stands on her toes, and her sharp nails superficially dig into your chin as she pulls you closer for a kiss. Your breath catches, and based on the smirk on her face when she pulls away, she felt it too.
"I will see you tomorrow," She tells you and turns away, and as you watch her go, part of you believes that somehow, it'll all turn out okay if you're with her.