Chapter Text
He could hear the cheers and angry shouts from the people below.
The chains around his wrists and ankles were digging so deeply into his skin. He bet that the metal had dug far into the flesh all the way to bone. It could feel the pain of it as he moved and shifted. It didn’t help that the soldiers that were in charge of his keep wanted him dead.
He didn’t do it.
It didn’t matter now, his eyes burned as he stood in front of the royal family. The soldiers hadn’t given him any water in two days, and through his whole imprisonment, he was never given any food. He was undeserving of it. He was a monster in all of their eyes.
How could he have done such a thing? He could hear them whisper angrily from inside of his cell in the dungeon. It was freezing down there. Almost winter and yet he was left with nothing to help keep the cold at bay.
He wanted to scream at the gods above. How could they forsake him like this? What had he done to be deserving of his cruel fate? Maybe he should have been nicer to his sister, Drista? He never thought his goofing was mean-spirited, but then again maybe the gods thought differently. He could never know.
Maybe he should have prayed to Prime more, instead of the three times a week he went to the temples. Maybe he should have offered more for the goddesses of family, friends, and fortune. She was his favorite goddess, he loved most of the gods above but something about her pulled him in.
Lord Godling looked down at his son with disgust and anger. He knew that he was never his father’s favorite, not even close. Now, that was clear as a summer’s day. His father sat in his seat, from here it looked as though he were sitting on a throne. He wore the family colors of warm greens and golds. He was covered in a plethora of gold jewelry, it put the emperor to shame. A show of his power and wealth to the onlookers and the other nobility. All he was missing was a crown.
His father was a power hungry man that was never satisfied with the power that he had. He always needed more and more, he had taken over lands and lands for the empire and yet it was never enough. The only way he would finally be happy was to take over as the emperor. Even then though, Tommy doubts the man would be happy with that. An endless pit that always needed more. Now, he sits on his throne and looks down at his traitor of a son.
Beside his father are his current wife and his other children. In his step mother’s arms was Drista, the only one of his siblings that he liked. She was close to two years old now. Even from here he could see her bright green eyes that reminded him of glass in the middle of summer. Her hair was the same as his and his father’s. A fluffy baby blonde. She was wearing her best gown that matched their father.
Next to them were his older siblings. On the other side of his father was Dream. Dream looked the most like his father. He had his nose, his cruel smile, and quick wit. He was the favorite of ExDee’s children. He was the golden boy that could do nothing wrong. How could he?
Yet, he was the very reason he now stands before them awaiting his trial.
The soldiers on both sides of him push him forward, with nothing to keep him upright he lets out a yelp of surprise and pain before crashing to the ground. If he looked down at his knees he would see that they had been torn open and now were bleeding. He looked back up at his family and could see how all of them looked with pure disgust. How couldn’t they? Not after what was claimed that he had done.
Lord ExDee Godling finally stood up and looked down at his son. The son that was responsible for so much heartbreak and bad luck. His eyes were colder than the Empire. Were the emperor’s eyes just as cold as his father’s? He would never know he thinks bitterly.
His time would soon be very limited.
“Today before us stands Thomason Godling, who was arrested and now tried for the attempted murder of Dream Godling. How do you plead before the people?” The lord said as he stared.
Beside him he could see Dream smile. His brother was dressed up just as their father. His outfit was almost identical to his. It was always like that, Dream always looking like his father’s twin. He knew that Dream had gotten away with what he had done. Now, all he can do is see his younger brother's cold, dead smile. How, he wishes now that he had killed his brother. At least then the world wouldn’t have another monster like his father walking around.
“I didn’t do it.” His voice was no louder than a whisper. His throat was dry, the sound that came out sounded broken. He could feel the tears, tears that he had no more to shed fill up his eyes and fall down his cheeks. He could hear the roar of the crowd below them. Chants and screams, how he was a lying monster who didn’t even deserve a trial.
“Enough.” ExDee snapped. The crowd below went completely silent. The only noise was the sounds of the birds and the wind. Today would have been a perfect day to go and sit in the gardens. To let the sunlight kiss his skin with its warmth and love. To smell the spring flowers as they just went into bloom. He didn’t have any friends his own age, his siblings didn’t want to hang out with him either. Instead he would stay in the gardens alone.
“Today, Thomason Godling will be executed for the attempted murder of Dream Godling.” He said his voice booming over head.
Time was up.
He turned his head to the sky, he wanted the gods to see just what they had done to him. At least when he dies they can feel an ounce of pity on his poor soul. He closes his eyes as the tears stream down his face leaving lines. He could hear and feel the blade being lined up with his neck.
Then a swing.
It connects with his neck but does not take it clean off. He can hear how the blade makes a loud crunching noise when it connects with the bone in his neck. He does not scream as he feels the pain, blood dripping down his neck and onto the rags that he calls clothes. His mouth was open as blood gurgled and came out. He feels as the blade is ripped out of neck before it swings once more.
Then nothing.
He does not see how his head falls onto ground then his body falls. He does not hear the crowd cheer nor see the smile on his younger brother’s face one last time. He does not hear the flock of crows as they move and yell at anyone that comes too close to their spot.
He does not see nor hear any of this.
.
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.
Instead he just floats.
It’s an odd feeling. Floating in what seems like an endless ocean of nothing. If he were more aware he probably would panic. In life he was so scared of the dark and small spaces. Yet, here he finds all of those emotions gone and is only left with the calmness. A type of calmness he never had in life. All he had ever known was the bitter cold sadness and hate that he once called his family.
Now, he was at peace.
For just a moment.
Then color.
It was like the most beautiful rainbow he had ever seen. The colors felt like fireworks with how bright they were. Hundreds of lights flash before him, all he could think if he could think was about how alive it felt.
Was this how it felt to truly live?
He never got the chance to know.
Yet, here with the bright fireworks of colors he feels so very alive.
Then he could hear it. Voices.
He doesn’t know who the voices belong to, they sound almost panicked but here in wherever he is they sound fuzzy. Almost as if he were underwater and the voices were above him. He isn’t sure if he likes the voices or not.
The voices fade away for a while. Then some of the voices come back, not like before with the yelling. They do come back, much more hushed and quiet. There is a woman’s voice, he notes. He hears her the most there. Her voice is soft and her words sound loving. He isn’t able to hear what is being said but that’s alright.
There is a man’s voice as well. He hears him sometimes with the woman. They talk a lot and sound very close to each other. They sound happy together.
It goes on like this for a long time.
Then one day, he wakes up and can finally see.
He looks up and sees he’s awake.
The room is bright and it takes him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the brightness. Once he does he finally can see where he is. He isn’t able to see all that much, instead he is looking up at the ceiling. It’s gorgeous though. He is really impressed with what he is looking at. It looks like the whole night sky is all painted above him. He can’t help but just stare at it. Mesmerizing all of the stars and where they can be found.
He isn’t sure how long he just stares but soon he hears someone enter the room.
He goes to turn and realizes that he can’t. He tries again and finds it an almost impossible task. What the hell is going on? He thinks as he tries again, yet to no avail. He feels small he realizes at once. Why does he feel so small?
Soon someone comes into view. It’s a woman, she has bright dark curly hair pulled up into a half bun. She has dark eyes. She has wrinkles, she looks like she has been aging nicely. It was rare for him to see anyone age like that, she looks like life has treated her well.
She looks down at Tommy and coos. “Aw, he’s awake.” She said, in the distance he can hear another voice. Then another woman appears, she’s a bit younger than the other woman. She has a head of red hair. Freckles dot her skin, green eyes stare back down at him.
“Look at those pretty bright blues. Just like his father’s.” The younger woman says with a soft smile. Who are these people he wonders as he looks at them. The two women coo and talk to him as if he were a baby.
Wait.
WAIT.
IS HE A BABY?
Oh the gods above he is.
How the hell did this happen? Last time he was- he was dead. He died. It was then that the memories of everything came flooding back. His father sending him to his death and Dream, oh Dream. He wants to sob at those memories. Now, because fate couldn’t be any more cruel has changed him into an infant. Hasn’t he had enough?
The two women stop their chatter and the younger of the two reaches down into the cradle and scoops him up into her arms. “Come now, let’s get you back to momma.” She said with a chuckle.
He was finally able to see just where he was. His room, he thinks it was his room, was huge. Maybe, it was because of his small size but the room looked huge. Everything in the room was lavish, even more so than anything that he had ever seen before. There were large windows with thin white curtains, he wasn’t able to see it in its full detail but he could tell that there were some kind of designs on them.
The walls were lined with a rich royal blue wallpaper. There were also a few paintings hung up around the room of different landscapes. The painter must be talented for such works he thinks as he looks at them. There was a large toy box in the corner, he could see it was overfilled with all kinds of toys. From stuffed animals to little toy soldiers.
He could finally see the cradle he was just in. The cradle was a dark oak one with so many designs carved into it. The bedding was a soft baby blue color, everything in his cradle looked comfy and soft. He couldn’t help but want to curl up and nap in it. It was probably so much softer than anything he had had before.
His old bedding was the leftovers from his older siblings. His father- old father? He never gave him anything nice nor new. The only time he had anything of his own was an outfit for balls or events where he needed to look nice to make ExDee look good like he was a good father to his kids, even if that was the biggest lie in the universe.
He watched helplessly as the woman took him out of the room and into the hall. He had never felt so helpless, was this how all infants felt? Just helpless to do anything at all? The two women were talking to each other about how their day was going. It sounded uneventful and lowkey boring. The old maids he had would always gossip and talk about him to each other, even when he was in earshot of them.
These women were kind it seemed. Then again he was a baby so they could just be being kind to him because they had to. He still had no idea where he even was. The hall they walked down was nothing like he had ever seen. He had seen wealth before, but this was on an even different level then what he had ever seen.
He could see the details that were engraved into the marble walls, the large paintings on the walls, and all of the gold that hung from the walls like it was worth nothing. As they walked they passed a number of very large windows overlooking snow covered ground. How was it already winter? How much time had passed since he had died? He had no way of telling, it wasn’t like he could just ask what the day and year was. It didn’t take them long to finally reach a large door. This wing seemed different from the other halls that they had passed through.
They opened the large door and he was able to finally see it. It was a large bedroom. Seriously, where the hell was he? He had never had such a large bedroom in all his life. Yet, right before his very eyes the room was in front of him. There was a large couch near a grand fireplace that heated the whole room, as well as a wooden rocking chair. It looked well loved if not a little worn down from use. He could see a large dark red rug on the floor near the couch and chair. Near the back of the room was a massive bed.
It had silk draped over it and looked almost like a blanket of frost over the windows on cold winter days. He could see that there was someone laying on the bed. The two women walked over to the bed and he was finally able to see.
There was a woman, she was beautiful yet looked a bit sickly. She had dark chocolate brown eyes and dark hair the color of the void. He could see dark circles under her eyes, her skin was pale like it hadn't seen the sun in months. She was wearing a rich purple silk nightgown. In her hands was a book that she looked to have been reading. Now she was looking up at them. Her face softened as she set the book aside and reached her arms out.
“Oh, my baby.” She cooed as the woman that was holding him handed him to her. She was warm, and not just her hands that held him so gently. Her smile and her words just felt warm and right. She looked at him like he was her world. He still didn’t know who she was but had a feeling that this might be his mother.
His old mother had died when he was born leaving him to be with just his father and siblings. They all hated him for that, for killing the wonderful and wise woman that had given birth to him. He had never known her but heard stories of her from the maids when they had been in a nice mood. Now, he was with this woman, so different from what his other mother had been described as. His other mother had almost white hair with deep hazel eyes. She was tiny, something that he himself had gotten from her. He had looked like her; he had been told by his older brother one afternoon when he had felt like talking to him.
“Look at those eyes, just like your father’s.” This mother said with a chuckle. “He said that you’d have my eyes, but I kept telling him over and over that you were going to look like him. The twins already look like me as it is.” She said with a soft laugh.
“You’re his little mini me. He’s gonna be so excited to have a little mini him running around.” She said, with a smile. Her free hand brushed through his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed. Apparently he looked like his father now. He would make a comment about the irony of that if he could talk.
“I told Will that I didn’t think you would have my eyes. He however, was so upset that you look like your father.”
“Wilbur just started to learn magic. His mentor tells us that he already is so far above his peers. He’s going to be powerful one day. Both of us are just so proud. Techno, he is a prodigy with the sword. He’s already smarter than even the head general when it comes to battle.” She said with a smile. Those two must be the twins.
The twins were smart. He had heard that some people could use magic but he’d never seen it before. Now, to hear that one of the twins was learning it? That was above him. He wondered how old the twins were, and what they looked like.
“You’re going to be amazing. I love you so much.” She said before kissing the top of his head. “I-” She began but was cut off by the door to the bedroom being opened.
“Ah, Kristin I was-” He heard being said but stopped. He wasn’t able to see who had walked in but it sounded like a man. The woman who was now his mother, her name sounded oddly familiar however he wasn’t able to place why.
“It’s alright, come here.” She said and beckoned him over to her. He heard as the man walked over to the bed. Finally he was able to see who his father was.
It was as if his world had just stopped when he finally was able to see him.
He had shoulder length blonde hair. His hair was a cool blonde, almost white. He had icy blue eyes, there were wrinkles near his mouth from age. He looked to be middle aged. He was wearing a light blue robe with golden accents and a white undershirt. On top of his head was a golden crown with jewels of green, blue, and yellow.
The man in front of him was the Emperor of the Antarctic Empire.
He felt so dumb. Kristin was the empress. How could he have forgotten that? Oh gods above that meant that he was now a prince? What the fuck. He really wasn’t able to process everything that had just happened. Last thing he knew he had been killed by his family and the next thing he knew he was reborn as the prince. He couldn’t even remember if the empress had been pregnant. Had she been and he was just never informed when he had been locked away inside that small and dark cell. Or had the royal just not told the people of the news? Both were likely but he had no way of knowing.
He wasn’t even sure how all of this was possible at. Was this the doing of the gods or some kind of magic that he just didn’t know anything about. He really didn’t know a whole lot about magic. It seemed like the royal family knew more about it. Wait, that means that he was now royalty. Oh, that’s gonna take some getting used too. At least now he was still small enough that none of the staff would use all of the proper terms and shit. Not even in his past life did any of the staff use his official title. It might have been because they didn’t like nor respect him but he liked to convince himself that it was because they were just comfortable enough not to.
“My dear, I could just come back another time when you and-” He began to say but was stopped by Kristin.
“No, no. Stay. Actually, hold him for me. I need to use the restroom.” She said before handing him over to the emperor. The man looked surprised but quickly took him away from her. He watched as Kristin got up, it looked to be a bit of a struggle but one of the maids rushed over to her side to help her. Kristin waved her off as he walked off, leaving him with the emperor.
He looked down at him, his face was blank and it almost looked as though he were frowning. Of course, he didn’t like him.
“Of course she left me with you. She’s been trying to get me to hold you for over a month now.” Philza mumbled as he gently rocked him.
How could fate do this to him? Just as he things were looking up, he was now the youngest son of the Emperor and Empress. How could he have gotten so lucky, but no, he wasn’t that lucky. Maybe he was just that unlikeable. Yeah, that seemed about right. In his new life he was also hated by his new father.
Philza looked back down at him, the two stared at each other. “Huh, you have my eyes. She’s been saying you do but I just thought it was just…” He rambled. He looked away from him, he couldn’t even stand to look at him. He wondered what he looked like, it wasn’t like he was able to just walk over to a mirror and look.
Do babies always feel this tired? He thought as he closed his eyes. He was hit with a wave of exhaustion and found himself starting to drift off. It was becoming harder to keep his eyes open.
“I can’t believe you tricked me into holding him.” Philza said. He heard as the bed moved and Kristin sat back down. She let out a chuckle. He could feel as he was handed back over to Kristin.
“I’ve been telling you for months now to hold him but you’ve been like no I don’t want to hold him.” She said in an almost mocking tone. If he were more aware of what was going on he might have caught the expression on Philza’s face.
“Watch his hair darken like the twins. It won’t stay blonde.” Philza said almost in a whisper. He almost missed what the man had said.
“No, I just have a feeling. He’s gonna stay a mini you.” She whispered before giggling. He could hear Philza groan. Were all couples like this? His old father wasn’t like this with his new wife. At least from what he had seen, the two almost looked like they wanted to stab each other in the throat. He had no idea what his old mother was like, maybe ExDee and her had been like them before he had killed her. He really hadn’t meant to, he didn’t ask to be born.
The two here seemed happy and in love still even after all these years. He knew that the two had been married for at least twenty years now. The whole empire knew this. Now, he was listening as the two whispered back and forth to each other about politics. He tried to listen but the pull of sleep was strong and Kristin rocking him back and forth didn’t help. Soon his whole body relaxed and he found himself drifting back into a dreamless sleep.