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Traversing an unknown plain is well on and tolerable. Heck even preferred rather than some rinky ass apartment with no actual opponents to perform sick moves on. The undesirable thing was traveling his medium whilst juggling some quad flirting from a multitude of aliens. Dave still hasn’t wrapped his head entirely about what hate flirting would eventually lead to. To his best guesstimate it would be some sweet sweet hate coitus. Not the point.
As of late Dave has found himself more curious about his previous hate flirter. Of course the unprompted hate flirting came from none other than Tavros Nitram. Actually, Dave isn’t quite sure it can constitute as hate flirting rather in actuality it being weak willed “trolling”. So far he’s combated Nitram righteously and got blocked by him soon after. His skills bring the rubber whilst he slaps some Elmer’s glue on his foes. As he made swift work of some little enemies he got a pester. Digging in his pocket he finds out it’s none other than that weird bull guy.
-- adiosToreador [AT] unblocked turntechGodhead [TG] –
-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] –
TG: oh god not you again
TG: buddy the time is tickin on how long i can feasibly keep my eyes open for your incessant trolling
AT: wOW UH,,
AT: rEALLY, UNEXPECTED,
TG: tick tock i clearly have much more pressing matters at hand
TG: yet your grubby mitts are keeping the tantalizing pie right out of my reaches
TG: my steady trained brain can’t even keep sharp with this slow ass reveal
AT: oKAY GOD,
AT: yOU’RE,,, QUITE THE
AT: hUMAN CATCH, HOT, PANTS
AT: (aRGH,)
AT: (nEVERMIND,)
TG: wow
TG: clearly youve got a thing for shoes cause that shits deep down your mouth gaper or whatever the fuck you dudes call it
TG: was that your sad sack excuse of a troll back to back
TG: a remix if you will
TG: of yours trulys own trolling
TG: really tried to flip the script on me only for it to fall flat right on your damned face
AT: lOADGAPER,
AT: yES, i GUESS, i WAS “FLIPPING” THE METAPHORICAL SCRIPT,
AT: mY ATTEMPT ONLY SERVED TO REMIND ME OF OUR PREVIOUS CONVO,
AT: }:(
TG: speaking of you deserted me
TG: on our special day no less the shame you must feel to crawl all the way back
TG: only for me to turn the heel and throw the ring back right at your face
AT: uH,, oK
AT: tROLLING OFFICIALLY OVER,
AT: yOU DINGUS,
TG: nope not even close
TG: whats really over is this goddamn relationship I poured my heart and soul into
TG: to leave me on our special day is absolutely abhorrent
AT: pREPARE, FOR UH, SOME SICK BURNS,
AT: yOU’RE LOW, CAUSE i GOT THE BOONBUCKS
AT: dAMN ALL OF IT DON’T GIVE ONE OR EVEN TWO FUCKS,
AT: eATING MY BARS IT'S DELICIOUS
AT: wHERE ARE, YOU'RE HOES AT
AT: tHEY'RE, FICTITIOUS,
AT: yOUR COOL, GUY DEMEANOR IS, RIDICULOUS
AT: i'M IN THE, GAME, UP AND KILLING THIS,
AT: tRIED TO RIDE THIS BULL, BUT GOT SENT OFF
AT: fLYING,
AT: tROLLS SAY THEY, LIKE YOUR RAPS THEY BE, LYING
AT: wAIT
AT: sHIT,
TG: woah
TG: im pumping the brakes on the hate train
TG: its teetering bro
TG: about to fly off its fucking hinges right now
TG: you trynna up rap me
TG: the god of rap
AT: nOT DONE YET,
AT: hOW FAST DO YOU TYPE, GOD,
TG: whilst i wish to respect a fellow rapper in his climbing career
TG: clearly my heart filled with betrayal forbids that
TG: those lines were limp as fuck dude
AT: yOU ARE ONE, FOUL HUMAN,
AT: gOD kARKAT WAS RIGHT, YOU GUYS ARE,
AT: aND i QUOTE, RAGING RUMPSNIFFERS,
AT: jUST,
AT: sHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP,
AT: oH GOD,
AT: iT’S WEIRD, i KEEP FORGETTING YOU HUMANS DON'T HAVE QUADRANTS,
AT: yOU CAN UNSHUT UP, IT'S WRONG OF ME TO SEEK A HATE QUADRANT WHEN YOU COULDN'T EVEN FULLY FACILITATE IT,
TG: dog
TG: did you just try to hate flirt vis a vis a diss track
TG: then sequentially just tried to rip at me instead
AT: yEAH,
==> wAIT IN SHAME,
Folding back the husktop Tavros covers his face and closes his shameglobes. For it has betrayed him yet again, fooling him into seeing what’s not even there at all. Thinking a human and a troll can even have successful quadrants with each other. God what was he thinking. Interspecies romance is out of the question. Shaking away the thoughts of hate macking out with a certain human he opens his husktop back up.
Dave has already concocted a prank right for the trolling. Having one hand to type whilst his other is free to slice n dice for some grist.
TG: you know what
TG: fuck it
TG: commence flirting
TG: not like im tied down right now
TG: no cute motorcycle babes on each arm to rip me from what i righteously deserve
TG: that being smoldering troll ass
AT: }:/ uH,
AT: i DON’T WANT YOU AS MY mATESPRIT,
TG: yeah im obviously not asking to be your boysprit
TG: since weve already been to like
TG: twentieth base
TG: im just looking for some good ol jovial hate flirts
AT: sORRY, UH,
AT: yOU JUST SORTA DONT GET PITCH FEELINGS LIKE US,
TG: nah you see thats where your alien teachings fail you
TG: we get hate flirting but we dont up and make a whole thing for it
TG: dont get a serious panty twist from my mere suggestion of a interspecies mackathon
TG: the cards are all on your table and im just hands in the air merely passing you the chance to win it all
AT: oH,
AT: uH, OK,,
TG: but hey whats wrong with me being your main hoe huh
TG: is my lyrical flow and top notch ironic spouts not enough for your quadrant filling
AT: iF BY MAIN HOE,YOU MEAN mATESPRIT,
AT: wELL,,,
AT: yOU’RE,
AT: i JUST FEEL PITCH TOWARDS YOU,
AT: (gOD THIS IS, EMBARRASSING)
TG: pitch being
TG: what exactly
TG: is it the same as hate or whatever
AT: oH, UH, YEAH,
AT: lIKE, IT’S THE BLACK QUADRANT,
AT: a “DISS TRACK”, RIGHT, IS AN EXAMPLE,
AT: oF A, HATE FLIRT,
TG: oh i gotchu
TG: yeah we can be rap rivals if thats what creams your corn
TG: you gotta stop your dork ass quirk though its lame
TG: like im totally down to slide the ride that is this waterfall of cataclysmic hatery
TG: mostly cause the fine chalk honey is busy
AT: iT’S A TROLLS, SIGNATURE THOUGH,
AT: iT’D BE WEIRD IF i, DID,
AT: aH TEREZI?
AT: kARKAT MENTIONED YOU WERE, MAKING HER FEEL,,,
AT: yOU SHOULD REALLY STOP, THAT, SERIOUS,
TG: you wanna hate snog or no bull boy
TG: cause telling me what to do has got my hate whistle a blowing
TG: and your ridiculous quirk has got me all hate and bothered
TG: why do you even keep it up
TG: not to say you gotta be all cool and ironic like me
TG: cause thatd be an impossible task for you
AT: wHY DO YOU, DISLIKE IT?
TG: cause its annoying
AT: oh ok
TG: damn it no i mean
TG: annoying in like im hating on you troll style
TG: ironically
TG: in a way
AT: oH, OKAY,
AT: }>:) hATE FLIRTING, rIGHT,
TG: god not to get all indignant on you
TG: but are you actually ready for the hate flirts
TG: im throwing in all the chips
TG: but seems like youre still holding back that sweet pot
TG: pot being real hate
AT: uH, YEAH?
AT: i DID INITIATE IT
TG: okay chill
TG: show me what you got
AT: }:/
AT: tHIS FEELS,
AT: wEIRD TO SAY THE, LEAST
TG: think of this as like
TG: a hate battle
TG: a hate off to see who will triumph over the other
TG: and who will lick the mighty boot stemming from the winner
==> be cooler than cool
This feels like the most dork shit Dave has ever started, purely for some wickedly ironic laughs later, but Dave’s feeling the heat. The kitchen’s about to get some oil to the flames and Daves feeling like a nimrod fry cook. Course he's never done hate flirting that shits elementary level dorky. Plus point b having lame rap offs and flirtations with a tool is not entirely cool.
As usual Dave is going with the flow of what will make the best tower of irony. Climbing it as far as it'll take him before it crumbles down when the other person eventually caves they cannot best him at his own game.
Messing with trolls that come out the woodworks with hate is hilarity with no comparison. Karkles was right. Dave should've stayed far away from the trolls. Too bad cool kids don't listen to short angry little guys on the interwebs.
AT: aCTUALLY CAN, I MAKE A, WEIRD REQUEST?
AT: lIKE, ASKING GENUINELY,
TG: mm
TG: alright proceed but with caution
TG: i dont scare easy but boring me to death whilst stalling your impending doom is a major hate killer
TG: about to be feeling mad neutral about you
AT: }:/
AT: aNYWAYS
AT: cAN YOU, JUST CALL ME TAVROS?
AT: mAKE INSULTS BUT UH, KEEP MY REAL NAME
TG: oh man
TG: feeling like being named tavros is the real insult
TG: so sorry
AT: }:(
AT: oH WAIT, RIGHT,
AT: wHO KEEPS THE NAME, DAVE?
TG: you best believe im keeping the sweet name that is dave strider
TG: honestly youre getting dubbed tavros strider
TG: or should i say
TG: hubby
AT: WHAT'S A, HUBBY?
TG: shit
TG: scratch that
AT: hAH, IS IT ONE OF YOUR WEIRD, HUMAN THINGS
AT: oR YOUR IRONIC, FACADE DEAL }>:)
TG: facade
TG: this is a hundred percent real authentic irony
TG: aint nothng more notably genuine than me
TG: got me twisted i gotta go out for vacation
TG: heading towards the beach i got my shades and my sick ass glowing locks
TG: oh wait a minute
TG: hold the god damn phones and shove those horses back into the stables
TG: get a metal detector cause your boys solid
TG: hold on
TG: i don't gotta explain shit to a guy named tavros
TG: damn tav almost got me monologuing again
TG: which we both dont want
AT: }>:( mY NAME, IS COOL
AT: aLSO, WE CAN DO THIS ANOTHER TIME
AT: iF YOU'RE, LIKE, BUSY,
TG: nah
TG: always make time for my beloved haters and fans
TG: its the gears that always keep me turning
TG: turning up the fire that is
TG: my beats and lyrical genius
AT: oKAYYY, I GET IT
AT: tRYING TO COMPILE MY, THOUGHTS HERE
AT: sTILL STUCK ON WHAT A, HUBBY, IS,
TG: dude i told you scratch that
AT: bUT, UH,
AT: nOW I'M REALLY, CURIOUS, DUMBASS
TG: well damn ok
TG: to get the ball rolling i first have to be out of the way before it steam rolls me in the end
TG: we still on for hate flirting or we taking a pause
AT: pAUSE CAUSE I'M, KINDA CURIOUS
AT: kINDA CAUSE YOU'RE BEING ALL, WEIRD AGAIN
TG: k
TG: but its like a matesprit but seen as official to everyone
TG: legally binding as all hell and in that i point back to the ceremony we had
TG: hubby short hand for husband
AT: oH, OKAYYYYYYY
AT: i THINK, I UNDERSTAND NOW,
AT: yEAH YOU'RE REALLY, WEIRD
AT: lIKE I SOMETIMES GET YOUR QUIPS, BUT FOR THE MOST PART, YOU MAKE ALMOST NO SENSE OUTSIDE OF, WELL, RAP,
TG: harsh burn
TG: i see were promptly back on the hate flirt wagon and chugging along then
TG: you got the wheels rolling but your boy
TG: well your boys got the magic touch that will take this wagon and bring it to the shop
TG: have the works done on to it let it whistle
TG: oh no introducing the industrial revolution
TG: now its a hate train and its coming straight for you
TG: cant even pump the brakes this baby is full steam ahead and it looks like some handsome devil cut the power lines which means no saving practically tied up tavros on the tracks
TG: just gotta lay there and eat the hate straight on
AT: }:) yOU'RE UH, NOT REALLY GOOD AT, THIS,
AT: gENUINELY, YOU'RE JUST KINDA SHOVING IN RANDOM METAPHORS, FOR, IRONIC PURPOSES AS YOU PUT IT
AT: mAYBE, WE SHOULD DO A, RAP OFF INSTEAD
TG: you know i love nothing more than turning the old tables
TG: but i need stuff to work with
TG: cant just force the magic out
TG: shit flows like a raging river but i aint bending it that way it just comes and goes as it pleases
TG: taking up the water just so we can get our dork on wouldnt work
TG: the well would wind up dry eventually otherwise
AT: hAH, OKAYY
AT: i'LL LET YOU STALL UNTIL, YOU GET SOME IDEAS }>:)
TG: dude no
TG: this is why your bars are straight lacking
TG: you cant spit just cause you wanna
TG: it comes from the soul
=> face palm fACE PALM,
Dave almost drops his sword at the sight of the disrespect whilst Tavros sits back rolling his eyes. Both of them were put off by the other's reaction. Clearly they weren't going to agree on anything anytime soon besides that rap is the highest tier of conversing. That's purely a given fact though and should not be regarded as them being able to get along in the slightest. Strider was fully immersing himself in the conversation once more and he took a step back from fighting to think upon a good diss track. Which wouldn't take long knowing him.
Tavros on his end couldn't believe the level of round dodging Dave could do. It was like the man was an elusive cluckbeast and none of the eggs were gonna land in the basket. On the account of the cluckbeast just somehow sprouting the abilities to fly away into an ironic sunset of some sort. But he was quite satisfied in owning Dave and catching him with his elusive shades down. Checked the mate and in comes Tavros with the sick fires.