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The dragons were coming, but they were too late. King’s Landing was already consumed by the green flames of wildfire. His twin was crazed with grief, Jaime told himself, she hadn’t realized what she’d done. But he had no such excuse. He knew what he was doing when he put his hands, flesh and gold both, around her throat and choked the life out of her. It was mercy, a kinder death than she’d get from the wildfire or the dragon queen.
He considered giving himself the same sort of mercy, but that was the coward’s way and Jaime Lannister was many things but not even his enemies had ever called him a coward. He wanted to die with his sword in hand, though, no matter that steel was useless against fire. The flames reached him and he felt a heat surely as hot as the hell that awaited him. He screamed wordlessly and now he was cold, so cold…
“Jaime.”
There was a woman filling his vision. She looked like his mother, like the Lady Joanna Lannister, who had been dead thirty years. But he knew this was not his mother.
“Are you content with the life you’ve lived, child? Would you live it differently if you could?”
He didn’t answer. At least he didn’t remember answering. Jaime awoke tangled with Cersei amidst dirty sheets in a dingy room. He remembered this place. This was the inn in Flea Bottom where he and Cersei could do what they dared not do in the Tower of the Hand.
What a dream that had been. Or was this the dream?
Cersei was young and beautiful, and she looked innocent in sleep, though he knew now that she had never been innocent. He touched his face and found it clean-shaven and smooth. He had two hands, but that didn’t mean anything. He always had two hands in his dreams. He could feel the terrible pain of mutilation the longer he thought about it.
Which was real? Could they both be real? Was this a hell designed especially for him? Was he condemned to relive all his mistakes and suffer the same heartbreak all over again?
Cersei awoke, and Jaime knew the things she would say and do before she said and did them. He had lived this moment before - and then he reached a realization so powerful it left him shaken speechless. He could do things differently. He was not yet the Kingslayer, not yet even a knight of the Kingsguard, and maybe he never had to be. He kissed Cersei gently, sweetly, and knew this would be the last time they kissed like this.
“No, sweet sister,” he said. “The white cloak would not suit me.”
It mattered not whether he had soiled the white cloak or it had soiled him. It was not a good color for him.
Cersei was furious. “But you agreed already! It’s the only way we can stay together!”
She threw her arms around him and planted desperate kisses all over his face. It was hard to pry her off and push her away, but Jaime did it. He did it to save them both.
“No. Stop. I have had portentous dreams, Cersei. Our lady mother came to me.”
His sister rolled her eyes. “You sound like an ignorant peasant.”
“Perhaps. But hear me, Cersei. I will not serve in Aerys’ Kingsguard and you will not conspire to force me… Else I will tell Father.”
The threat robbed her of breath. She looked at him like she didn’t know him.
Jaime pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, and this time she was the one to push him away. She shoved him violently and then her palm cracked across his cheek. She shed angry tears as she dressed in the roughspun serving woman’s gown, but she did not speak another word to him and the final look she gave him before leaving their rented room was venomous.
Everyone feared their lord father and Cersei was no different. Jaime could have tried to explain that the things they would do for their love would destroy them, that in the end even their love would be destroyed. But the threat of Lord Tywin’s fury was the only guarantee that Cersei would heed him.
Jaime returned to the westerlands and the summons to join Aerys’ Kingsguard never came. His father and Lord Hoster were negotiating the terms of his betrothal to Lysa Tully. What a pity it was that the elder Tully sister, Catelyn, was already betrothed.
But a betrothal was not a marriage. A betrothal could be broken honorably. Especially if the circumstances were suitably spectacular. Jaime grinned as he penned a letter to Brandon Stark.
The grand tourney at Harrenhal seemed even grander this time around. He was not here to pledge his life away to Mad King Aerys and there were so many possibilities. He was determined to win the jousting contest, not just for the glory, but so he could spare Princess Elia the humiliation of being publicly spurned for Lyanna Stark.
He wasn’t terribly concerned about the consequences of Rhaegar’s future elopement with Lyanna. His father was still Hand of the King. His father would not let Mad Aerys burn high lords and their heirs and ignite a rebellion.
Cersei attended the tourney with their lord father, but she would not speak to him. This state of affairs between his children prompted a raised eyebrow from Lord Tywin, but he did not question them about it.
Jaime staged a spectacle by approaching the Tullys in public and falling to his knees before Lysa to plead for her forgiveness. “I meant you no offense, my lady. You are lovely, but your sister captured my heart the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“I forgive you, ser,” Lysa replied, and if there was a trace of bitterness in her voice, it went unnoticed.
Jaime turned to Catelyn Tully and grabbed the hem of her gown in beseechment. Mummery was quite fun. “My lady, I must have your hand.”
Catelyn slapped him. “I gave you no cause to think such a suit would be welcomed,” she said heatedly. “I am pleased with my betrothal to Brandon and would not dishonor him.”
Brynden Blackfish was struggling to keep a smile off his face. He liked Jaime. Jaime would never become the target of his scorn and be the villain who forced him to surrender his home.
Brandon Stark did not seem angry either. Rather he seemed eager for their duel. He was well reputed as a swordsman, but Jaime knew his own skill. Ser Arthur Dayne was the only man who could beat him.
“Ah, Jaime,” Arthur told him. “Dueling for a maiden and you’re not even a man yet.”
Jaime would see his sixteenth name day again soon enough. “How else will I get the singers to make a song about me? You took the Smiling Knight’s head for yourself.”
Arthur chuckled and clapped Jaime on the back. “There are plenty of outlaws, my friend. Your time will come soon enough.”
“My time is now,” Jaime replied. He wasn’t going to join the brotherhood of the Kingsguard, but he was going to be a hero nonetheless. He wondered what they were going to call him. Whatever it would be, it’d be better than Kingslayer.
There was some excitement over the mystery knight who appeared to challenge several knights and demanded as ransom only that they chastise their squires. But the greatest excitement was over Prince Rhaegar, who seemed unstoppable, defeating noted opponents one after the other. He was everything people wanted their prince to be and they loved him.
Jaime won his jousts, too, and became a favorite of the crowd for his youth and his golden good looks. But there was still much surprise when the final joust was between him and Prince Rhaegar. Jaime suspected that his lord father was probably the only one who was hoping he’d win, but that was all right. He was ready to prove his mettle.
They broke nine lances and Jaime was nearly unhorsed several times, but he prevailed. There was stunned silence as Prince Rhaegar was knocked from his horse. Jaime raised his lance triumphantly. There were scattered cheers, presumably from loyal westermen, but Jaime was sure next time he jousted, the cheers would be much louder and the wagers would be laid in his favor.
His twin was forever the Queen of Love and Beauty of his heart. In another life he had won half a dozen tourneys and crowned her his queen every time. But he could feel himself burning in wildfire. Between the War of the Five Kings and Robert’s Rebellion, how many lives was he saving by altering the course of his own life?
He offered the Queen of Love and Beauty’s crown of flowers to Catelyn Tully and she grudgingly accepted it. The blue roses looked even better atop her auburn hair. She still gave him a haughty, displeased look though, and it made Jaime smile. She reminded him of Cersei in many ways and had from the moment he’d first met her.
Lord Tywin embraced Jaime. He had not done so since Jaime was a small boy. Jaime remembered standing vigil over his father’s body. He could smell the stink of the rotting corpse. But Lord Tywin was alive and the only smell was the smell of Jaime’s own sweat.
Prince Rhaegar congratulated Jaime. Perhaps Lyanna Stark would not elope with him now. Perhaps he wouldn’t have to meet Robert Baratheon at the Ruby Ford and die beneath Robert’s warhammer.
The Mad King was displeased with Jaime and with Rhaegar and with everyone. He ranted and raved and spat cruel words at them all. Jaime could smell the stench of burning men and hear Queen Rhaella’s cries as Aerys raped her. He thought how much better things would be for everyone if only the Mad King was to drop dead here and now.
Later his father invited him to share a cup of wine in private. “I was wroth when I heard you’d challenged Rickard Stark’s heir for the elder Tully girl when I had already made you a match with Hoster’s other daughter. But having met them myself now, I understand. Catelyn is the better in every measure and it is fitting that she should go to Casterly Rock rather than Winterfell.”
“I’m proud of you, Jaime. You’ve chosen well. Catelyn Tully will be a fine lady wife for the next Lord of Casterly Rock. Your mother would have been pleased with your choice.”
His father was speaking as if he had already beaten Brandon Stark. Jaime wasn’t prepared for how it made him feel to have Lord Tywin so proud of him. He hadn’t disappointed him yet in this life and he didn’t want to.
The following morning he met Brandon in the yard. A huge crowd had already gathered to watch. They dueled for over an hour in a fight men would talk about for years. Singers would surely make songs about the young lion and the young wolf fighting for the fair Catelyn of Riverrun and not about the Red Wedding. Finally, bleeding from several wounds of his own, Jaime got the point of his sword at Brandon’s throat. “Yield, my lord.”
“I yield, ser, and renounce my claim to Catelyn.”
Jaime helped him to his feet as a gesture of goodwill. Catelyn was watching but her expression was hard to read. She seemed conflicted. She would never be Lady Stark now, never become Lady Stoneheart.
In another life Jaime was guarding an empty castle. In this life he outshone even Rhaegar Targaryen.
He knelt before Catelyn, leaning on his sword. “Will you give me your hand in marriage, my lady?”
“That is my lord father’s decision to make, ser, not mine,” she replied.
Their betrothal was announced before they all left Harrenhal.
Six moons later half the nobles in the realm converged in the riverlands again, this time to see the Lord of Riverrun’s daughter wed the Hand of the King’s son, the heir to Casterly Rock. The Mad King didn’t attend and it amused Jaime to know that Aerys intended it as a slight.
Cersei was still not speaking to him, and Jaime was sure she would have stayed away if their father had permitted her to. She looked as beautiful as Jaime had ever seen her. Her silken gown was the same crimson as a Lannister war banner and she was wearing enough gold jewelry to dazzle a man’s vision.
But his bride was not outshone. Catelyn was dressed in deep Tully blue, with her auburn hair flowing loose beneath a silver circlet. She was smiling, and something her father said to her as he walked her towards the septon and Jaime made her smile more mirthful. Even if she preferred Brandon Stark to Jaime, she must at least appreciate that the distance between Riverrun and Casterly Rock was much shorter than the distance between Riverrun and Winterfell.
This was one thing Jaime had never done in either of his lives. With this, he was truly embarking on a new and unknown fate. He vowed to love and protect Catelyn Tully and draped the Lannister marriage cloak around her shoulders. He kissed her at the septon’s bidding but she was the one who deepened the kiss. She was smiling as she faced their guests as Catelyn Lannister and Jaime felt certain she would make a formidable lioness.