Chapter Text
Ghost was sitting in his bed, back pressed against the wall. It was still relatively early in the evening but already dark outside, the autumn nightfalls starting quicker and quicker every day, bringing him more of the blissful darkness. The room was gently washed in the warm light of a small nightstand lamp. It felt almost cozy and the feeling definitely grew stronger when Johnny pressed his face into his chest as he lowered his head and shifted even closer to Ghost.
He’s not sure when or how that happened. Shared looks and less that innocent jokes somehow smoothly turned into shared touches and moments like this. What he was feeling hung heavy over him at first. The risks, both personal and professional, of any relationship with him, even purely platonic, were added to the never ending list of things keeping him up at night. But he knew it wasn’t just that, it wasn’t purely platonic at all, and by some lucky mistake in his universe of misery the other man seemingly felt similar about him.
The knock on the door brought him back from his thoughts, Soap looking up at him with wide, questioning eyes. The tactic of hiding whatever this is between them in plain sight might not fail yet, as there are not many people who would knock at his door, and surely he could deal with the one that was most likely waiting outside, without exposing his guest.
“Wait.” He whispered before pulling his balaclava over the lower portion of his face.
Ghost quickly got up and moved to the door, taking a look around to make sure Johnny wouldn’t be seen where he was seated while he reached for the doorknob.
“Simon.” Price said when their eyes met. “May I come in?”
“No.” He simply stated while he took a step further outside of his room and closed the door.
Price sighted and made a motion with his hand for Ghost to follow him. Walking down the hallway he noticed an envelope in the captain’s hand, a probable reason for the unexpected visit. A brief wave of anxiety went over his body as he couldn’t predict what information said objects contained.
Soon enough they were entering the captain's office.
“Sit down then.” Price said as he reached for his own chair.
“What is it about?”
“Recently Manchester court asked me if I have any contact with you or anyone from your family.”
“Why?” He asked, suspicion clearly in his voice.
“That was also my first thought.” Price took a short brake, looking at Simon with a worried expression. “I figured, because you don’t make it necessarily easy to get in contact with, the workers reached me. And I apologize if I had crossed some lines by digging around but…”
“Just get to it.”
“Right.” He shifted slightly in his seat. “Just so you know I’m not coming from a place of judgement nor am I purposely looking into your personal life.”
“Price.” Ghost cut into the monologue, now with a bit of irritation. “What do they want and why are you acting so strange?”
The captain sighed before continuing. “They’re looking for someone who could become a legal guardian to a kid who might be yours.”
A quick chuckle escaped him. “You know I don’t have children.” He said with an amusement at the idea.
“That’s why I said ‘might be’ . Apparently you were listed as a father on some birth documents but you never got to officially claim nor deny that.”
Confusion crept Ghost’s mind. It must’ve been some kind of sick joke or messed up misunderstanding at best or an elaborate plan to get to him at worst, it’s been years since any situation that was even remotely close to having the potential of him fathering a child.
“Here, take a look.” Price said, handing out the envelope. “This might clear some things for you.”
The moment his eyes briefed through the court letter, Simon was more than thankful for his face covering as the horror of realization flooded him. The last name of the child matched the one of his last girlfriend, who he indeed dated years ago, over sixteen years ago to be exact. He looked away, trying to pinpoint the new found information with the timeline of the events from that period of his life. Quick math in his head, the boy was born roughly seven months after the last time Simon had seen his then girlfriend, just before his deployment. The one during which everything that could go wrong went even worse, and he ended up being held captive, among other things, for several months somewhere in Mexico. Now it made sense as to why the news of becoming a father never reached him. Just as he answered himself to the question ‘how’ his thoughts reached another one. “Why now?” He managed to say out loud.
Price noticed the sudden change in Ghost’s demeanor, understanding what the change implied. “As I said,” he started calmly. “They’re looking for a guardian. The mother has died recently, some kind of an accident.” He could see the way Simon closed his eyes behind the mask and the heavy breath he let out. “You should also know that since then he's been in foster care. Known family members either unwilling or unable to take care of him.”
The heavy feeling in his chest weighed him down even more as he started processing the last spoken sentence. Was he willing to? Him being left alone in life with no family was one thing, he was already an adult when that happened, and after that not getting close to anyone was his own decision. But he already was acting against that decision, letting Johnny get close to him. But that situation is different, Johnny is more than able to take care of himself, and yet the protectiveness he feels over the man is almost unbearable. Could he get close enough to take care of a person… No, not just a person, a child, his child. Would he be able to protect his child, who would rely just on him, against everything that could come his way? The answer is simple. No, he couldn’t. Every person he ever let close to him ending sooner or later in a grave proves the fact well enough. But leaving his son doesn’t seem to be much of a better option. Now that he is somewhat tied to his name, he already might be in danger, and Simon would not be able to intervene. Not to mention, he left his son once before. Sure, it wasn’t on purpose, but does it make the outcome any better? Would he be able to fail his son on purpose? Here comes the second part of the haunting sentence. Was he able to? He’s a mess, he knows it, barely even able to take care of himself some days. Who in the right mind would've left him alone with a child? A teenager, but still.
“I can give you a number to a lawyer, a friend of mine.” Price's voice stopped his train of thoughts. “Whatever you decide, it’ll be easier to figure out the legal stuff that way.”
“Sure, thanks.” Trying to keep his tone as emotionless as he could.
“Simon.” He could see the compassion with which the captain spoke. “I’m not trying to push you toward anything, but if work is one of the things you worry about, just know that you have months worth of untaken leave.”
“Honestly, that is the least of my worries right now.” The air in the room started to feel too heavy around him. “Thank you for letting me know. I… I need to think things through.” He managed to put the words together.
“Of course.” Price nodded in understanding.
A nod was all the response he could give. Then quickly left the office and began heading toward his room. The information he just got is the one that changes everything in one’s life. And it definitely did that for Simon, throwing his whole life upside down. He needed to put his thoughts together again, figure out what to do with the new, and honestly scary situation. His vision started to blur as he stepped through the doorway. Tears only reserved for very special events and the comfort of his own privacy.
“What did he want?” Soap’s voice filled the silence, almost scaring him.
“What are you still doing here?” He surprised himself with how much unreasonable and unconscious anger he spoke.
“You told me to wait.” The sentence sounded almost like a question with how unsure the tone was.
“If only you would listen to my order in the field like that.” Again, he didn’t mean to sound so angry.
“What’s on with you now?” Johnny picked on some of his emotions.
“Please.” He ran his palms along his face. “Leave.” More of a beg than a command. “I need to be alone.”
“What happened?” Soap got off the bed and started walking towards Ghost. To offer some comfort he figured. He couldn’t take that at the moment.
Simon took a step back in an attempt to escape the upcoming touch, thankfully John picked up on the clue. “I’ll tell you, I promise.” He said quietly, taking a deep breath before continuing. “But right now I need to be alone.”
“You sure? You don’t seem like…”
“Please.” He felt more tears coming to his eyes listening to Johnny being worried. He couldn’t let himself go, he didn’t want to let himself go, not now.
He stood with closed eyes for a few seconds, just listening to what would happen next. The sound of steps away from him and creaking doors were both equally reliving and disappointing.
The click of the closing door was the trigger that pushed all the emotions he tried to bottle down out.
_____
The prior night ended up being a sleepless one. Filled with heavy thinking about what he could, should and wanted to do. Filled with memories of his own childhood, adolescence and his family. Filled with wondering if his life could’ve ended up in a different way if someone would intervene in the situation at home. Filled with uncertainty of what he would bring into his son’s life.
Ghost entered the area where he expected Soap to be at the time of the day, looking for him. Their eyes quickly caught each other’s. Sometimes it seemed as if he could see right through the mask and deep into Simon’s mind. The idea ran through Ghost’s thoughts again when Johnny nodded in understanding of what he meant with the look he gave him. Ghost left the building and headed toward the informally designed smoking area.
When Soap approached the spot he was squatting next to a wall with a mask pulled just over his mouth and half smoked cigarette in his hand.
“Thought you were supposed to quit.” John said, taking a similar position next to him and reaching his head to take a drag from Simon’s lifted hand.
Well, there is no easy way to say it. He thought before saying out loud. “I’ll need to leave for some time, I just finished the paperwork.” He looked away to not meet the other’s eyes.
“What? Why?! When?” Soap sounded hurt.
“Some things…” A sight. “From my previous life caught me.” There was no response so he continued. “Sunday, probably.”
“What things? If you’re in danger we should help you and not let you run away, or worse, let you deal with it on your own!”
Oh. Sure there was no easy way to say it, but somehow he chose the hardest way, completely missing the clue point of why he was leaving, and upsetting Johnny in the proces. “Calm down. It’s not that type of thing.”
“Then what?”
“I… Fuck, it’s gonna sound so wrong.” A low, nervous chuckle. “Just found out that I have a son.” A strong laugh came from Soap’s side. He then looked at him with wide eyes. “You think that’s fucking funny?”
“With the way you acted yesterday and the introduction you just gave me, yeah, I think that’s fucking funny.” The laughter still in his voice. “I already had like five doomsday scenarios in my head and it certainly wasn’t one of them.” Just when he noticed the annoyance in Ghost’s glare, he tried to sound more serious. “Okay, sorry. But maybe try to be less cryptic next time. Anyway, are you going to tell me some more?”
He stepped on a bud of his cigarette “…I’ll probably know more on Monday after a meeting with a lawyer.” He finished briefing his companion through the situation. The atmosphere around them not as burdensome anymore.
The wide grin showed on John’s face. “So, can I call you a dilf now?”
“Soap, what the actual fuck?!”