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“Do they have anything without the word ‘nipple’ in the title?” Raph’s voice was plaintive and he gave Brandi his best hurt-puppy look over the edge of the lurid pink pleather menu.
Brandi smiled. Once again Mary was ‘at work’ instead of entertaining her smoking hot boyfriend. Honestly, Brandi was half convinced that ‘at work’ was code for ‘having sex with my lanky dork of a partner’ in Mary-speak. Not that she had any evidence. Still, it made her feel a little less guilty for all the times she’d woken up dripping wet, dream-Raph’s warm hands still tingling over her skin. “They have a Dead Nazi.”
“Sounds delicious.” He said sarcastically.
“You should try the Buttery Nipple,” Brandi said with a smirk, “They’re totally yummy.”
Raph looked skeptical. “It’s butterscotch.”
“So?”
“I hate butterscotch.” He sounded like a petulant five year old, and wore the pout to match.
Brandi stifled a laugh and flipped to the cocktails on the back of the menu. “Sex on a Beach?”
Raph sputtered adorably for a few seconds before he realized it was a drink, not a proposition from his girlfriend’s sister.
“Hmmm…” Brandi ran her finger down the list, “A Little Dick’ll Do? Wild Squirrel Sex? Purple Nurple? Bushwacker?”
Raph seemed to shrink in his seat with each drink name. When a tall, busty waitress in a seriously tiny black dress appeared by their table he was hunched over so Brandi could only see the tips of his hair above the edge of the menu.
“Can I get your two anything to drink?” The waitress asked, not even looking at Brandi. She was batting her eyelashes so hard in Raph’s direction that Brandi wanted to laugh. At the same time, she felt affronted. How dare the skank hit on her faux-date?
Brandi reached across the table and took both of Raph’s hands in hers, eyes never leaving the waitress. “Well, normally we go for a couple Screaming Multiple Orgasms, but tonight I think a pair of Buttery Nipples and A Little Dick’ll Do.”