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"I hate this." Merlin looked at himself in the mirror.
He hated all of it.
His hair that was way too long and made him look like a girl, but his parents didn't allow him to cut.
His chest. No matter what he did, you could always see that it was fuller than a man's. He'd tried binding, but he didn't have the money to buy a real binder and he'd read that makeshift ones could damage the tissue and no matter what he didn't want to play his chance to get top surgery one day.
His curves that not even the baggiest clothes could hide.
"I know." Morgana said from where she was sitting on his bed. "I'm sorry that I can't convince you not to."
Merlin turned around to her, away from the mirror and walked over to the bed, making himself comfortable next to her.
"And, you know, you're the most handsome man I know." Morgana smiled at him.
"I dunno. I don't feel like it. It's so obvious that I'm not cis." Merlin ran a hand over his face.
Morgana put a hand on his shoulder. "Merls. I know it's hard to believe, but I don't think it's that obvious to people that don't know you. You know what? I know you've wanted to buy yourself a real binder forever. I'll buy one for you."
"S not that important." Merlin said, looking at the floor. "You don't have to spend your money on me 'Gana."
She shook her head. "No. I want to. And I know how important it is to you. You've been my best friend for ever. I want to make you feel a bit better about yourself Merls."