Chapter Text
Serana finds herself atop one of Fort Dawnguard’s towers as the sun sets. It’s become somewhat of a routine for her lately, but tonight is different. Tomorrow, the Dawnguard will march on castle Volkihar. She knows it’ll still be some time before they reach the castle, but she still can’t shake her unease.
She senses someone ascending the tower’s stairs, and knows who it is immediately before she sees them. There’s only one person who ever really joins her up here. Sure enough, she hears the door open, and looks over to see Haelga’s familiar broad shape step through. She gives Serana a small smile, but Serana can sense the same anxiety in her, sees it in the set of the woman’s shoulders.
“Hi,” Haelga says quietly. “Can I join you?”
Serana gives her a smile back, shifting over and wordlessly patting the bench next to her. Haelga’s weight settles into the bench next to her.
Serana came up to the tower to be alone, but having Haelga so close makes her realize just how much better she feels with the other woman here. She feels some tension leaving her that she didn’t even realize she was holding. She shifts a little closer to Haelga, who picks up on what she’s asking for and reaches out with one arm. “May I?” Haelga asks, even though it’s obvious that Serana wants this, because Haelga always makes sure she gets consent because she’s thoughtful like that and so beautiful and kind and sweet and caring and Serana doesn’t fucking deserve her–
–Serana pulls herself back, nipping that spiral in the bud. Her mind is not going to ruin this for her. She realizes she’s taken a bit to answer, and looks up at Haelga, who clearly noticed her brief turmoil and is looking at her with concern. “Sorry, just…thoughts,” Serana says. “But yes, you may.”
Serana leans close and angles her face away to lean her cheek on Haelga’s shoulder, and feels the other woman’s head come to rest against hers. Haelga’s strong arm loops around Serana and pulls her close, and as they press together Serana relaxes completely. Gods, she needed this. Serana closes her eyes and her vampiric senses pick up the oddly comforting rhythm of Haelga’s pulse, much clearer with her so close, and finds herself losing track of time as she listens to it beat.
She shifts after a while and turns her head up to look at Haelga, who shifts and meets her gaze. It’s only now that Serana really understands just how close they are. Close enough to see how Haelga’s pupils widen a little when their gazes meet, close enough to see the trio of scars on the woman’s cheek, close enough to hear Haelga’s pulse quicken. Her eyes flick down to Haelga’s lips for just a moment, and though she isn’t sure she thinks she sees Haelga do the same to hers.
Serana knows that this is the part in her old romance novels where the heroines would kiss. She knows the setup well enough: “we’re going to rush into danger soon, and we don’t know if there will be another chance”. Serana won’t kid herself, she knows she’s falling for Haelga. She has been for a while now, but…now isn’t the time. Not when her father’s prophecy is still looming over them, not when she still has so much baggage to unpack about the mess of her family, not when she still needs to find her place in this unfamiliar world she’s awoken in.
In this moment, Serana turns away. She’s not sure, but she could swear she hears a hitch in Haelga’s breath as their eye contact breaks. Serana lays her head back against the other woman’s shoulder, and feels Haelga relax against her again. There’s definitely a part of her that wants to pull Haelga close and kiss her until they’re both senseless, and there’s still the part of her that tells her that Haelga deserves better than you but she quiets both for now. When all the madness is over, there will be a time that’s right, where they’ll finally sit and talk and figure out exactly what this is that’s passed between them, where Serana can finally internalize that she’s worthy of this.
For now, Haelga’s presence is more than enough.