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Obi-Wan couldn’t describe how thrilled he was to be kissing Cody.
They were laying in the small bunk in Obi-Wan’s quarters and the Jedi couldn’t have been happier than he was as he trailed soft kisses down his Commander’s cheek before going in for a proper kiss. Long and slow and perfect.
It was their first proper kiss.
Obi-Wan and Cody had begun, well dating felt like too small a word for it. They had come to a mutual understanding of their feelings for each other a couple of months ago.
The Jedi had never thought he’d find this.
He pushed deeper and Cody opened his mouth for him. Obi-Wan had his eyes closed, so he didn’t notice Cody’s tears until the Commander pulled away to take a gasping breath, before letting out a sob.
Obi-Wan sat up immediately.
“Cody!” He said, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothings wrong!” Cody said too loudly in the quiet of the room. He sat up too and reached for his General.
“was it me?” Obi-Wan let Cody rest his hands on his bread but didn’t let the man pull him back into the kiss. “Cody you know if you don’t want this, I’d never-”
“I want this!” The Commander insisted, but he had to speak through his tears and the words went unbelieved.
“You don’t have to,” Obi-Wan said softly. “We can just lay here, if you’d like.”
Cody didn’t answer him and began crying harder and Obi-Wan started to panic that he didn’t know how to help the man he loved so much. Everything in him wanted to lean forwards to wrap Cody in a warm embrace and never let him go.
But he didn’t know if that would make things worse.
Cody dropped his hands from the Jedi’s face before lunging forwards into a hug and burring his head into Obi-Wan’s chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, my love.” He tried to say and Cody didn’t respond.
That was alright. Obi-Wan was happy to hold Cody until he was okay, and then afterwards, and then for forever.
Things got worse before they got better. Cody’s crying slowly became more intense until he was shaking and struggling to breath. Obi-Wan held him through it all.
Eventually, the Commander calmed down and fell into silence. They stayed in the quite for a while, comforted by the way it wrapped around them like a soft blanket.
Eventually, Obi-Wan squeezed Cody slightly to warn him he was going to speak and asked. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Cody shook his head, still pressed into the fabric of Obi-Wan’s sleep shirt. Then he nodded and pulled away slightly.
Obi-Wan readjusted their position so that Cody was basically in his lap. He didn’t push, he didn’t speak. This was something, was a moment, that could so easily shatter. And it was something Cody needed to start.
After only a moment, he did. “I got my scar on Kamino.”
Obi-Wan hummed, promising he’d listen if Cody went on. The Commander look a deep breath and continued. “It was raining, and I fell off a platform and hit my head on a rock, under the water. I almost drowned.”
Obi-Wan couldn’t help the protective surge that welled up in him at the thought of Cody in such danger before he even got the chance to know him. The feeling only intensified when his Commander said almost too quietly to hear, “sometimes I wish I had.”
The General didn’t say anything, just held his partner tighter and waited for him to go on. “He was a CT trainer, the man who saved me. He got promoted for it, diving in to pull me out.”
Obi-Wan’s mind began running laps, making connections about reactions to kissing and memories of trainers. He tried to get it to shut up. Cody needed someone who was listening to him, fully.
“Took me to the medbay and stitched me up himself.” Cody looked like he didn’t know wether to laugh or start crying again. “And he smiled at him.”
“After that,” the Commander cleared his throat. “We had lessons with him, and I was top of the class, like normal.”
“How old were you?” Obi-Wan asked, selfishly. He wasn’t thinking of Cody’s well-being. He just needed to know.
The tears returned to Cody’s beautiful brown eyes, though they didn’t fall, and he sniffed. “Six.”
So around 12ish, Obi-Wan figured out in his own head. He couldn’t help drawing Cody closer to him and hugging him tighter. He felt tears of his own slowly track down his face. “Oh, Cody.”
The Commander began to cry properly again. “I already thought he’d- I always thought he’d stop, if I asked.”
Obi-Wan was probably squeezing Cody too tight, but his partner didn’t complain, just squeezed his arm back. He could barely speak as he continued. “But I was always too scared to ask.”
His broken sobs echoed around the room and Obi-Wan held him through it, like he always would.
They stayed like that for hours as Cody started and stoped crying dozens of times and Obi-Wan whispered sweet everythings to him. Eventually, the Commander passed out.
He had wanted to kiss Cody from the moment he fell in love with him. He wanted to shower him with love and attention and touch.
He didn’t have to though. He could hold Cody like this forever and never ask for a thing more. Obi-Wan would only ever give what Cody wanted to take.
If one day, that was kisses and touch and sex, he would be more than happy to give it.
If it was never more than this, cuddling and hugging and holding his Commander, then Obi-Wan lost nothing. As long as he was in Cody’s life, his own was complete.