Chapter Text
“Sensei, I am so sorry!”
Genos knelt in front of him, head pressed to the floorboards. Saitama’s eyebrow twitched in half-irritation, half-amusement. “Stop that! Get up, dude, what’re you even talking about?”
Genos sat up rigidly, legs still tucked underneath him. “I am not worthy to be your disciple. I was blessed enough to be able to study under the strongest hero, yet I can’t even defeat an overgrown insect…”
Saitama sighed. He had the urge to grab the cyborg’s clenched fists and pry them open. The kid needed to learn to relax! “Genos, it’s okay. This Centichlorine thing was supposed to be really strong, right? Even the old man and the other guy couldn’t beat it with you.”
Saitama was afraid Genos would burn a whole through the table with just his glare. “But Sensei… I must become stronger in order to kill the Mad Cyborg. Moreover, you have given me a mission to breach the top ten of S-Class. If I cannot defeat a mere threat such as this, I—!”
“Twenty words!” Saitama barked, then immediately felt guilty at Genos’s sullen expression. “Sorry…”
“It’s fine, sensei. I cannot even remember your rule…”
Saitama’s irritation grew. What was with this kid? “Stop beating yourself up, Genos! You can’t defeat the Mad Cyborg if you’re dead!”
Genos’s eyes widened, and he made a mad grab for his notebook. “I see…! You are saying that it would be more beneficial in the long term if I did not waste all my training in a single battle by perishing! If I honed the art of patience like you have, then—”
“No!” Saitama grit his teeth. “I’m saying… you’re pretty amazing, okay? Don’t think you’re not worthy or whatever. I think it’s great how you take on monsters no matter what—that’s what a true hero does. But… you shouldn’t keep fighting if you know you’ll die.”
Genos was silent. Saitama suddenly felt self-conscious. “Sensei… you defeated the monster in one blow yet again. I am willing to trade anything to achieve that level of strength. You have reached the pinnacle of heroism, Sensei.”
It was Saitaam’s turn to fall silent. It reminded him of King’s words, way back, when he’d finally confided about his overwhelming boredom—no, not boredom. Emptiness.
“Being the strongest hero doesn’t mean the best hero,” King had said. “Thinking you have no room to grow is just shallow and arrogant, isn’t it? Why not strive to be a better hero instead of a stronger one?”
Saitama sighed deeply. This was gonna be a long one. “Listen, Genos,” he said. “It’s true that I’m strong. But I’ve seen guys stronger than me—” He placed his fist on his chest, “here. These muscles don’t make a hero, Genos. Those guys who fought with everything they had, they were heroes.” He stared at the floor. “Think carefully about what you want, kid, because that strength you would trade your life for took away my feelings. Sometimes I don’t even feel human. In truth…” he had difficulty forcing the next words out. They built up from countless battles and victories that ultimately led to that hollow feeling in his chest. Nothing like the Mumen Rider who screamed his lungs out against the sea freak, or Genos, who had to go to Kuseno’s lab almost every day from fights like this one, leaving Saitama to bite his nails in worry.
I’m nothing like them. “Sometimes I don’t even feel like a hero.”
He looked up and stilled when something dark and wet ran down Genos’s face. “H-huh? Dude, are you crying?”
Genos froze and turned away, stiffly wiping the liquid off his face. “I-I apologise, sensei. I will clean the oil off the floor…”
“You cry oil?” Saitama was at a loss. Was Genos crying for him? “Hey,” he tried, “it’s nothing, really. You don’t have to be sad…”
Genos paused in the middle of wiping and turned the full force of his gaze at Saitama. “No! I did not realise you were dealing with such empty sadness! If I knew, I—”
Saitama scooted over and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “Seriously. It’s fine. I’ve gotten used to my dulled emotions.” With that, he went and got tissues and they cleaned the floor together in silence.
“Sensei.” Genos practically smouldered with determination. “Until I am strong enough to stand by your side, please wait for me!”
Saitama cracked a smile. Genos could be kind of creepy sometimes with his completely unreasonable devotion, but Saitama admitted it felt nice to have someone notice him after so long being alone. He ruffled the cyborg’s hair and earned a surprised blink. “Thanks, Genos,” he said, and really, really meant it.
Later that night, Saitama couldn’t sleep, although a comforting warmth pressed against his back and the apartment thrummed with the whirr of Genos’s core. It had become background noise, blending so seamlessly into his surroundings he’d accepted it as though it was as natural as the sun shining or the rain falling.
He stared at the silvery moonlight filtering in through the thin curtains, willing his mind to blank. After a while, he heard the telltale speeding up of Genos’s core and whispered, “Genos? Are you awake?”
A rustle of sheets. “Yes, sensei.”
Both of them waited for the other to say something; Saitama could feel the burn of his disciple’s eyes on his back. It started to get unnerving until Genos’s voice cut through the silence. “Sensei… I disagree with what you said earlier.”
Huh. It was rare for Genos to voice his disagreement. He turned, intense, golden eyes meeting his in the darkness. “Yeah? What did I say?”
“You said you did not feel emotions. But I see them in you every day.”
Saitama chortled. “What, me? Did you lose a gear or something?”
In the dark, he could see Genos sit up rigidly. “It’s true, Sensei. Please allow me to explain.”
“Okay…?”
“There are a number of emotions that you express every day. The murderous look on your face when you’ve missed an important sale or lost a game to King or are reminded of your baldness… forgive me, Sensei, I did not mean to mention it. The way your face lights up when there is no one in line at the supermarket or when you see a cat, and the disappointment when it flees from you. The way you smirk when you’ve gotten a good deal or made a smart joke. The way you laughed the other day for seemingly no reason at all—I could go on about your laughs, sensei, you have many different kinds, like when you’ve had a little too much to drink, your laugh is boisterous and unrestrained, not like your usual chuckle—the slight stagger you walk with when we’ve eaten hotpot and you are full. Your bashfulness whenever I compliment you—just like this, Sensei… Sensei?”
Saitama wrenched his eyes away, stupefied.
This kid… was, if he was being completely honest, kinda creepy. Even more creepy than that Panic guy. But he found his lips quirking upwards despite himself. Of course Genos would notice this stuff. “Why doesn’t this surprise me, huh?”
Genos’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “…You are not surprised that you show emotions?”
Saitama rolled over. “Nah, not that.”
When he wouldn’t elaborate, Genos said, “Sensei, do not think you have lost an essential part of your humanity. You are very human to me.”
Saitama was too tired to think. “Thanks. You too… g’night.”
He missed how Genos froze up and murmured, “You have no idea how much that means to me. Good night, Sensei.”
***
Clouds churned in a grey sky. They found the monster amidst the rubble of a building. Smoke blanketed the sky, darkening the earth, but strangely, they couldn’t smell it at all, and they couldn’t see the source of the fire. Saitama strolled forward.
The monster turned. Giant eyes drooped out of its head, its form twisted and mishappen, resembling—actually, it didn’t resemble anything. They realised that the smoke wasn’t smoke, but the monster’s form. It crept forward slowly, a pool of dark ink.
“Oh? Who are you?” It sneered, rising and rising until it completely wrapped them in shadow.
Genos wound up his canons, standing low and steady in his fighting stance, trying to gauge the threat level of the monster. Leave no openings. “We are heroes, and we have come to eliminate you.”
“Oh? All right then,” the monster said, and its smoke speared Genos in the arm.
The arm flew, landing somewhere behind the monster. Genos decided to keep it there—he could catch the monster by surprise later.
He leapt, using his thrusters to give him an extra boost and fired a beam directly at the monster’s eyes. “Sensei! Allow me to test my new abilities!” He yelled.
Saitama hovered back, a little unsure. “Okay then. I’ll step in if you need it.”
Genos managed a nod before the monster swept a swirling storm at him, throwing him out of his cannon’s range and into a nearby building. Debris flew. Words blared red in his vision: Subroutine 06 unresponsive. Rebooting.
Smoke curled from his body as he shakily jerked his head from the spiderweb of cracks spreading in the wall behind him. I… I cannot give up yet…!
And then suddenly darkness descended as the monster filled his vision, blocking out the sun. “You’re an interesting one,” it said; its eyes, although wilted and sagging as if they had been sucked dry, were calm and intelligent.
Subroutine 03, reattach! He commanded.
The next second, an arm came flying right through the monster’s head and rammed itself into Genos’s shoulder. Unfazed by the impact, he shot out of the wall and through the monster, but it parted to let him through effortlessly. “It will take much more than that to defeat me!”
“Machine gun blows!” Genos shouted and let loose.
But the monster laughed as the punches went right through him. “Weakling. You humans are disgusting!”
How can I attack something intangible? “Tch!” He slammed his hands together, the mechanisms interlocking to become one. “Incinerate!”
Terrifying, raw firepower engulfed the monster, and Genos ground his feet into the earth to prevent himself from flying backward. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Saitama watching, arms crossed, looking… impressed! Sensei acknowledges me! Genos thought with glee. The blast had engulfed nearly all of the nearby buildings still standing, but he had already confirmed there were no living beings inside. He willed stronger firepower if only to impress Saitama.
A warning flashed across his screen. Energy levels: Approaching critical level. Advised to attenuate.
Genos growled in frustration and stopped the blast completely.
The light died. To his gratification, he saw that only the buildings’ blackened corpses remained. He turned to Saitama when the world went dark.
Saitama’s shout cut short.“Gen—!”
“Weakling!” The monster boomed; but not from any external audio source… unless… “Get out of my head!” Genos snarled.
“I am an esper. Only the strongest willpower will be able to resist me. But you… are a human. Your mind is weak. And a weak mind harbours a weak body.”
Genos fired blindly, but his cannons did not part the monster’s stifling black form at all. The black particles seeped under his armour; if he had skin, it would be crawling. “I am not weak. I am not a human!”
The shadows around him suddenly stopped in their pursuit. “You… are not human?”
Genos fired again, but his shot sailed away into the darkness. What was this thing? It wasn’t doing a thing to him, yet his instincts screamed. “That’s right. I’m a cyborg. If I am weak then I will train until I am strong!” Strong enough to defeat the Mad Cyborg. Strong enough to stand by Saitama-sensei’s side!
The monster chuckled. The darkness retreated slightly, as if recoiling. “Hm… How would you like a wish, not-human?”
“A… wish?” What kind of game was this thing playing?
“A wish. I have offered humans this choice before, but they have all used it for their own selfish gains. I wonder if a not-human would choose another path.”
“What are you trying to do?”
Genos got the sense the monster would be shrugging. “I am merely trying to satisfy my curiosity. I want to see whether what humans wish for will benefit them in the end.” It paused. “I have not been human for a long time, and I am glad it is so.”
Genos narrowed his eyes. He could see no way out. In fact, he couldn’t sense anything at all around him. It was like he was in an empty pocket between dream and reality. “I have no interest in your games. Let me out.”
“I will not. I can keep you here forever if I want to. You will make a wish and I will grant it—isn’t that what most humans would die for? A means by which to get what they desire? You are quite lucky, in my opinion.”
“How are you able to grant my wish? Will you let me go once I do what you want?”
It chuckled again. “For a not-human, you talk exactly like one. Yes, you can continue to live your life as normal after you make this wish. And as for my power… there are many things that do not make sense in this world. For example, why does your master possess such unfathomable strength from simple muscle training? Why was someone as weak as you allowed to study under this master? And why were you the only one to survive your town’s destruction? All unanswerable questions. Perhaps they do not want to be answered. The same goes for my power; I do not ask, only accept.”
Genos froze. How does it know this?! That’s not possible!
“So,” the monster said, “are you ready to make your wish?”
The cyborg forced himself to calm down. Indeed, it was true that many things in this world did not make sense. He supposed one more thing shouldn’t surprise him.
What do I want?
Assuming that this monster was speaking the truth, he had endless possibilities at this moment. He could reverse the damage done to his family. He could destroy the Mad Cyborg. He could make himself stronger, worthy to be Saitama’s disciple. He could—
Be human.
He could be human.
No. If he turned into a human again, he would not be able to destroy the Mad Cyborg. But if he destroyed the Mad Cyborg, then what? What after? He still could not be human again.
And his family? He missed them, but they were a distant ache by now. He wasn’t much for gut feelings, but this one told him that bringing people back from the dead was… unnatural. Wrong.
He wanted to confirm it. He eyed the writhing darkness around him. “Can you bring people back from the dead?”
The air seemed to chill. “I would not advise doing that.”
Confirmed. Genos did not know what to do, so he did what he always defaulted to: weighing each and every option, one by one.
Destroying the Mad Cyborg was the whole reason he had given up his human body in the first place. If he destroyed it now with a single thoughtless word from his mouth, wouldn’t the past five years of his life be in vain? Wouldn’t he have given his humanity up for nothing?
No, he decided. I want to kill the cyborg with my own two hands. Only then will I be satisfied.
What if he made himself stronger? That would be a reasonable, practical wish. But how strong? Stronger than his master? Would that even be possible?
But… a small voice buried deep at the back of his mind whispered, if you become strong… that means you cannot train under Saitama any longer. Would you want that?
Genos stilled. That’s right. If he was strong, he would have no reason to train under Saitama anymore. That should be a good thing, right?
So why did he feel like his core dropped out of his body?
There were no real reasons to not wish to become stronger. It would allow him to kill the Mad Cyborg with his own two hands, and not render his five years of training entirely redundant. But… he didn’t want to.
He decided to come back to that later and turned to his last option.
Humanity. He could get his humanity back.
But… there were many consequences to this wish. For one, he would definitely not be able to defeat the Mad Cyborg as a weak human. Second, he would also not be able to train under his master any longer.
He had realised, not long after starting his hunt for the Mad Cyborg, that he hated himself. He hated looking into the mirror and seeing the rampaging monster that had crushed his entire world. He hated seeing those unnatural, hard metal plates that were not soft or warm enough to be loved; after all, he was built to destroy, not live. But after moving in with his master, he had not averted his eyes the moment he entered the bathroom. Revenge became a castle in the sky.
He was not fully human. But at least he wasn’t the rampaging cyborg.
The conversation with his master from last night reared up in his mind. He hadn’t known sensei was also questioning his own humanity—but for him, it wasn’t even a debate. How could Sensei, who flicked his forehead after a spar, who picked his nose and bought him oiled sardines and badly lied about them being on discount not be human?
And… hadn’t sensei said, “You too,” when Genos told him that?
It is not worth getting my old body back, he thought decisively.
It suddenly occurred to him, with guilt, the sight of his master blasting the meteor apart with his bare fist, saying, “You’re not gonna fall on my town!”; the sight of his master standing before the mangled corpse of the Deep Sea King, being booed and yelled at by the crowd, but with a soft smile on his face that only Genos could see; the sight of his master, rushing to save a cat from a speeding truck, only to see it was a plastic bag, and many more.
Saitama was heroic and selfless. And Genos only thought of himself when thinking about these wishes.
He decided that he didn’t want any of them. They were all useless to him. Bringing people back from the dead was wrong; destroying the Mad Cyborg this swiftly would not give him satisfaction; gaining back his humanity would not bring his family justice; and becoming stronger… would not make him worthy to be Saitama’s disciple. If he wanted to be worthy, he would work hard for it by himself. Even if he did work hard and somehow became as strong as Saitama, he realised with sudden clarity that he would never be as good of a person as Saitama. How could he match Saitama’s heroism, his kindness, his selflessness? How could he match his wisdom or his humility?
Okay, maybe that was pushing it a little far. He could see Saitama’s flaws too, but his good qualities far outshined his bad ones. Humankind would be dead many times over if not for him.
Sensei’s power is… unmatched. His thoughts flickered back to earlier that day, to Saitama’s lifeless, dull eyes. He had seen the colour in them—brown—but it was as if he was viewing through a screen. But his strength… has made him sad.
“Are you done yet, not-human? You have been standing there for an age.”
Genos realised what he wanted. “Yes. I have decided my wish,” he said before he could change his mind. “I want to witness the source of my master’s power.”
The darkness that had been dancing around him suddenly covered him. “Witnessing is one thing,” the monster rumbled, “but understanding is another. Is this your final wish?”
Saitama’s brown eyes flashed through his mind. There had been vulnerability within them. What had been powerful enough to make his master so strong but feel so weak?
He wanted to understand. He wanted to help.
He didn’t want Saitama to feel alone.
“Yes,” he said firmly.
“Very well,” the monster said, and the next second, everything vanished.