Chapter Text
Hide looked up from his cellphone at a sharp rapping at his door. Stifling the instinctive “maybe it’s him, at last”, he walked up to the door and opened it.
He held the paper in his hands, staring down at the words as if he knew them; something deep down inside pulling at the frayed wires of his mind. They tugged and tugged, his brows furrowing slightly as he lifted his right hand to knock on the door, wrist snapping each time.
He wasn’t quite sure why he’d been sent here, and why the informant couldn’t have just come down to the CCG, but considering how out of the way this place was he was thinking ’it better be worth it’.
His most recent case was on a ghoul who had been kidnapping children, chopping off limbs and cauterizing them, eating them slowly over the course of a week or so. The scenes upon arrival reeked of...he didn’t want to think about it, and he didn’t want to know how this guy knew anything about it.
When the door opened his heart stopped, only for a second, and for what reason he didn’t know. That little voice was telling him the brown eyes staring owlishly at him were familiar, that smile, that hair…
“My name is Haise Sasaki from the CCG, You must be-” he looked down to the paper again, blinking at the name before repeating it, the words rolling off his tongue a little too naturally “Hideyoshi Nagachicka? It’s a pleasure to meet you” He held out the same hand that had knocked on the others apartment door, Haise kicking himself mentally at how fast he was speaking “I was told you have some information on my case. Investigator Juuz-err...Suzuya mentioned you’d worked part time for the CCG some time ago”
He cleared his throat, opting to not mention how the raven was surprised to find that the blonde was alive. Haise wouldn’t touch on that subject as most near death experiences with the CCG were never really all too pleasant to remember.
“Ah,” Hide gasped, his mind going blank. Different hair, but that face… he could never forget that face. The face that haunted his dreams and his nightmares, softly whispering, “You failed to protect me. What good is a friend that I can’t trust with my biggest secret…?”
Shaking his head and coughing, Hide banished the thoughts from his mind. “Err, I used to work for the CCG, it’s a bit of a long story. If you wouldn’t mind coming inside…?”
Hide waved his visitor inward, to the living room (and soft, inviting couch) just inside his meager two-bedroom apartment. He hoped his wince at the sweeping motion wasn’t too visible.
Haise held the paper to his chest, nodding almost timidly as he offered the other a small smile in return, stepping inside with a small ‘excuse me’.
Hideyoshi seemed to be thin, not exactly frail, but it was visibly noticeable that the man was sick, or had been. Perhaps he’d recovered or was currently recovering from an injury. Haise would guess it had something to do with that near death experience with the CCG.
“You have a nice place” Haise muttered, trying to be polite as he took a seat on the couch, placing the paper on the coffee table before smoothing his pants over his knees “It’s a very bright environment. It’s good for your health” his smile turned thin, watching as this man stared at him with a sad gaze, the silver and black haired investigator wondering just why he looked that way.
It was such a pity, for a young man like him to look so...broken.
“So you’ve met Juuzou. Quite an interesting character” he laughed only for a moment, leaning forward earnestly, trying to make the conversation as pleasant as possible before they got to more gruesome topics “...right?”
Hide hummed in affirmation, fighting down the urge to rub at his shoulder. Why now, of all times? Maybe it’s because Kaneki-
“I met him a few times, back when I worked for the CCG. I’m surprised he still remembers me.” Hide gave Haise his brightest smile, trying to relieve the investigator’s obvious distress. Perhaps it was in recognition or…? No, there’s now way. Kaneki would have sought him out by now. There had to be a different reason for the vibe that could only be described as “haunted” that Hide felt from this investigator. That, and…
“So, what was it you came to ask me about? Because I haven’t heard anything about the Centipede ghoul on the news recently.” Hide forced a chuckle, trying to seem casual. This time he couldn’t fight down the urge to rub his shoulder, and tried to play it off as casually as he could.
Haise continued smiling, the corners of his eyes creasing as he remembered Juuzou just barely remembering this Hideyoshi character when Akira mentioned him. Of course Akira had tried to come here herself, insisting that either she or Juuzou could come over here to ask for help.
Haise had heard good things from colleagues. Hideyoshi had apparently been a whiz at information in accordance to ghouls and predicting their habits. Akira acted strangely about it all, snatching the letter from a hospital in regards to this guys discharge right out of his hands. If she wanted her company mail to be private, maybe she shouldn’t get him to open it for her.
One thing led to another, Arima silencing all Akira strange fussing, and eventually sending him over to try and maybe get an...opinion?....outta Hideyoshi….
To be completely honest, Haise wasn't even sure what he was really doing here…
“Centipede?” Haise blinked, swallowing thickly as he mouth went dry. A knot formed in his stomach, mind racing as a faint scratching and clicking rang deep in his ears. A centipede. Squirming, wriggling, digging, burrowing in deeper-deeper-deeper-”I’ve never heard of…”The centipede ghoul” He clicked his tongue, whispers clawing at his thoughts, telling him things, demanding something that he just couldn’t quite hear.
“The ghoul i’ve come to get your...insight on...is someone we call the caretaker” he blinked away a stinging in his eyes, staring down at the floor when looking at Hideyoshi became a little too much to bare “I’ve never heard of any centipede…” he breathed, repeating himself to affirm that he indeed lacked the memory of any….
Centipede.
He had the worst feeling.
Like something was eating away at his stomach; at his ears.
He couldn’t help but feel like he was being put under some test.
A test of his strength, his ability to stay himself, to survive and refuse the thing he used to be…
I fucked up.
Hide could almost sense the panic radiating from Haise’s slight form at the mention of the word centipede. Shit, Shit shit Hide hadn't even considered that it would be a sensitive issue for him, he should have known there was a reason Kaneki went crazy when he turned into the Centipede ghoul-
“It was the ghoul I investigated when I was with the CCG,” Hide blurted. “I just- I assumed you would be-”
Hide cleared his throat and attempted to calm down. Nothing good would come of panicking now. Now that he was certain as to who this was.
“The caretaker? I’ve never heard of them. Something to do with children, I’m guessing? Hmm…”
Hide took a deep breath. Calm. He could do this.
“If it’s a kidnapper… I would guess that it probably works in the school district, or in transportation. Something that would give them access to children while their parents are not around to protect them. Have you investigated the school bus drivers? People who might have gotten on the train with them?”
Hide tried not to seem to demanding, but he truly could not help himself. When he got into the “Investigator” mindset, it was like he became a different person. Suave, confident, intuitive. Not someone who had to get a step stool to reach the top of his cupboard because he would never have the full range of motion in his shoulder ever again.
He was caught up in his own thoughts, biting the inside of his cheek until copper stained his tongue, nails biting his knees through the thin fabric of his dress pants. The clicking in his ears got louder, jaw aching as if the flesh behind his eardrums were been gnawed on.
Why hadn’t he been briefed….why wasn’t Hideyoshi called...in fact...he looked surprised to see him before.
He wanted to ask if Hideyoshi had even expected him, or if this poor guy was tracked down by the CCG after his unfortunate injury and recovery.
He found himself watching now as the blonde touched his shoulder, looking away from him as he tried to change the subject and supply Haise with some theories. Subconsciously his tongue roved over the back of his teeth, gaze tearing away from Hideyoshi's shoulder to stare back down at the floor.
“I thought of that….at least the bus drivers and teachers in the school district. Never public transit, so thank you” His voice was level, Haise leaning back in to the couch, fingers lacing together as he continued speaking “They often happen during the evening, children missing from their homes in the morning. All honors students oddly enough, that’s something I noticed…”
He looked through his lashes, dark eyes focused on Hideyoshi's face, heart continuing to pick up the pace while the clicking in his ear died away.
“Honor students…” Hide whispered to himself, thoughts whirling. “Could it be they went to cram school? Or had a home tutor? A ghoul would only need to visit a home once to know which is the child’s bedroom. And then it would just be a matter of- Oh, Sorry,” Hide mentally kicked himself. Way to insult your guest, genius. And also way to reveal you totally know what his deepest darkest secret is. MAN, Hide is just SO ON POINT with these things today!
“SO,” Hide cleared his throat, “Why did Suzuya-san recommend me? You seem to have a pretty good handle on this case, and I can’t imagine I’m doing that much to help you.”
Haises smile was gone, his gaze focused on Hideyoshi, listening intently as the blonde spoke. Why he hadn’t thought of a home tutor....well why hadn’t he thought of it?
“It’s alright” he was quiet, trying to figure out just who this guy was, snorting when Hideyoshi actually came out and asked just why he of all people was recommended for ...brainstorming.
“Really...I have no idea” Haise bit his lip, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat “I think...I may have...umm” he reached up to scratch his head, the knot getting even tighter in the pit of his stomach “You…may have known...who i was. I think that’s maybe why i was sent”-’to see if i would crack’ he wanted to add, but refrained from doing so.
He wouldn’t give in.
He wouldn’t die and give his body back to whatever monster was inside.
“But beyond that, I don’t have a clue.”
“Who you were,” Hide echoed, a chill racing down his back. “Do you remember it? Being someone else? Is that why you got so anxious at the word cent-”
Hide stops, realizing he had unintentionally been leaning forward in his excitement.
Hide edged away awkwardly, trying to find the best way to breach this very delicate topic.
“I do know him. Or at least, I did. We kind of lost contact after a while, haha,” he laughs nervously. “Would you… Would you like me to tell you about him? I mean, I don’t have to, if that would make you uncomfortable..” Hide trailed off into an awkward mumble.
Haise tried to keep his breathing even, the word centipede never having stopped repeating itself in the back of his mind. Sometimes he would start to say something and feel like he was repeating himself, or end up in a place or city he swore he’d never been in before, and that ache inside would tell him that if he dug a little deep...tried a little harder to reach for those things he could no longer remember they would come back.
“Sometimes...” he whispered to himself, wanting to attempt an answer to the inquiry at whether or not he remembered, but he swallowed that answer. He was about to tell a complete stranger about the looming figure in his dreams, the monster that was one step behind him, the centipede clicking as it reached and wound around him.
Why did he feel so comfortable around this guy...was it because he knew him? because that other person knew him? Did something reside....
“You speak very fondly of him” Haise felt this sense of longing, like screams from the hole inside him bellowed out for his hands, and for once he actually wanted to take them “I don’t know anything about him...who I was. I only know a monster so I-” he caught himself, pausing as he tried to be more sensitive to Hideyoshi; the friend of whoever owned this body last.
“Kaneki Ken…” his eyes narrowed “I know his name at least. But you obviously know someone the rest of us haven’t had the pleasure of meeting”
He should have left five minutes ago.
At that, Hide perked up. “Yeah! That’s him! That nerd Kaneki,” Hide smiled fondly at the memories playing before his eyes. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about him, or what you remember, but he was my best friend.”
“He always kept everything to himself, to try and protect me, you know? Even when I could have helped him. He is- he was, I mean, really great.” Hide tried to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat.
“You seem to have a bad opinion of him, and I’m sorry about that… Just… Just know that he isn’t a bad person.”
Hide can’t help the pleading note that bled into his voice, and didn't try to stop it. “He really isn’t. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone… I don’t know exactly what happened to him, or to you, but he’s not evil.”
Hide tried to ignore the sharp prickling feeling in his eyes. “Sorry, I… I miss him a lot.”